ZOMG. IT HAS BEEN FOREVER. I sorry. I stab my head! grabs a spork

Anyways! I finally update for you guys! Yay! Sorry this took so long - really. It took me forever to get this chapter at least somewhat right. I hope you like it o.O; I will have a MONDO review reply next chapter when I actually have time, mmmkay? Okay! Here you all go!

This was brought to you by the music of Rent! Because I am OBSESSED, dood!

"Computer."

A soft bleeping noise sounded as the computer awoke from a sleep, echoing slightly throughout the high ceilings of the lab. Dib glanced around slightly nervously, his fingers playing subconsciously with the edge of his jacket, tugging compulsively on the fabric as the watched on. Zim sat cross-legged on the floor, his shoulders hunched as he hugged his arms tightly to himself, as if he let go, they would fall off. He flinched slightly as the computer answered with an oddly obedient, "Yes, sir?" in its metallic voice. The computer knew what was going on. It wasn't going to be bullshitting him today.

"Computer, run a full scan on the parasite. Check for updates."

"Yes, sir."

Zim slowly climbed to his feet as a tube-like wire snaked out of nowhere, coiling in a wide circle around his abdomen as purple lasers began to ping out of it, pointing directly towards where the parasite was located. Dib watched in silence for several long seconds, but Zim knew it wasn't going to last long.

"I don't know why you have to keep running this test."

"Shut it, Dib-thing," Zim hissed as the cords snaked away and a 3D hologram projection of the current state of the 'parasite' flickered on in the air in front of him. "I am not in the mood for your quirks right now."

"When are you ever in the mood for my quirks?" Dib asked heavily, scowling through the shadows of the room. "If I had to wait for that, I'd never speak." Zim just shook his head, mindlessly mumbling curses under his breath. "You know what this is."

And then, all at once, Zim was silent. His hands were planted onto the computer console as he stared unblinkingly at the hologram.

"Zim?"

"It isn't that and you know it, stink."

"Why not? Why is it so out of the ordinary that you might possibly have gotten pregnant?"

"Because INVADERS don't GET pregnant, Dib! They just don't! It would fuck around with their mission, so just kindly leave it be!" He looked back to the projection. "It's got to be … be…"

"You said yourself they couldn't get The Chill either – and don't tell me you never got that."

Zim's body seized up. "I was kidding. They can too."

"You're lying." Dib emerged from his shadowed cover, making his way over to Zim and looming over the shorter male. "You said Irkens can't feel any real emotion outside of The Chill."

"Th-they can't."

"You're LYING."

"SHUT! UP!" Zim shouted, slapping his hands against either side of Dib's chest and forcefully shoving him back. "Shut up! Just SHUT UP! Shut your FILTHY HEAD OF LIES and LEAVE. IT. BE." He whipped back around to study the hologram more, digging his nails into the palms of his hand as Dib slowly advanced again.

"But you said they couldn't get The Chill."

Zim ignored him.

"Did you ever even fathom that something just MIGHT be wrong with your PAK, Zim?"

Zim hounded back. "There IS nothing wrong! I just ran a check the other DAY." He lowered his gaze, mumbling gibberish to himself until Dib could finally catch some comprehensible words. "The only POSSIBLE way ANYTHING like this could have happened is if the Tallest, Irk forbid, had messed up, and it was programmed to something-" Zim's cocky tone of voice died at the end of that word, and his hand he had been so rudely stabbing Dib in the chest with fell limp to his side. He glanced over at Dib, a slight tinge of fear dotting his crimson eyes. "Else." A rough clump of something made its way into his stomach as he forcefully swallowed. Dib just looked confused as Zim's stomach lurched and he stumbled back over to the computer. "No no no no no …"

"What? What is it?"

Zim just feverishly pressed buttons on the console, his fingers shaking slightly as he took a step back, swallowing thickly. An arm shot out from the computer, bursting forth and rocketing into the largest pink spot on Zim's PAK. Zim winced as it entered but simply looked up to the screen, his eyes frantically searching for the results. When they finally appeared, Zim's face completely paled, transforming him to nearly the same color as Dib. "Oh no."

"What? What does that even mean?" Dib asked confusedly as he looked up to the screen, not understanding the odd, manic-looking Irken smiley face on the screen. It was surrounded by Irken words, which Dib couldn't understand a letter of. "Zim?" Dib shook Zim's shoulders. He just lifelessly flopped around in the human's grasp.

"They still have me in food services," Zim choked out in a deadly whisper, and Dib pulled away, his brow furrowed.

"Food services? Wait, from career day?"

"No, no, NO. This is ENTIRELY … different… I …" Zim touched a hand to his forehead, looking almost as though he was going to be a mirror image of that morning. "C-computer."

"Whaaaattt?"

"Run a DNA scan of the parasite – give me ANY data you can. ANY."

This time, Zim winced openly as nothing happened at all. Well, at least it appeared nothing had happened. A fiber optic cord, no thicker than a hair, had darted straight through the Irken's skin to the 'parasite', taking one strand of DNA and placing it on a small metallic tray. Zim swallowed thickly as he watched the screen, his eyes taking in every letter that leapt up onto the screen.

"Sir, DNA matches that of SMEET."

All Dib knew was a slight squawk, and Zim had passed out into his arms.

"Nngh…"

"Ahh, don't move don't move."

"Gruh… Dib?"

Zim bolted upright on the couch, alarmed at the rather large head in front of him, and automatically wished he hadn't. His head started swimming, and he felt like he was going to be sick all over the floor. "Ungh, what did you do to me, human?" Zim moaned, clapping two hands over his eyes and becoming slightly alarmed that they were ungloved. He didn't want to worry too much on the matter, as any form of thinking made his head hurt like a sunuvabitch, and just flinched as Dib slowly guided his head back to a pillow on the arm of the couch.

"You passed out in your lab earlier," Dib said quietly, conveniently not mentioning why he did.

"So why does my head hurt?"

"Well, you passed out … onto me. And I wasn't expecting it. So, um. You fell. And hit your head. I was worried you might have a concussion, so I brought you up here."

Zim grunted a response, immediately ceasing a nod when it shot a sharp pain from his chin to his antennae. He slid down further on the couch and clutched his head, trying to block out some of the ache. "Dammit - GIR!"

GIR randomly fell out of the ceiling, dropping popsicle sticks on the way down. "SIR!"

"Get me some aspirin out of the medical supply case thingy. My head…"

"YES, SIR!" GIR squealed, his eyes turning blue as he ran off, his metallic feet clinking giddily against the tiled floor. Zim's nails dug into his head at the sound as he curled into a fetal position. Dib just shook his head and started to drape a warm towel over Zim's eyes. Zim jumped, glancing over at the towel and blinking.

"What is THAT?"

"It's … it's just a towel," Dib defended, holding it up. Whenever I have a headache, I put a warm, damp towel on my eyes, so I thought it might work for you. Except, you know, couldn't use the water, so I'm just … heating it with a heating pad." Dib flinched. "Why? Is it bothering you, cuz I can-"

"No, no, it's fine," Zim sighed, taking the aspirin from GIR as he skipped back into the room. GIR flung himself back up into the ceiling as Zim gently thanked him, and actually allowed himself the slightest trace of a grin as Dib pressed the towel back to his forehead. "It feels good." He suddenly blanched, the aspirin halfway to his mouth. "Um, the towel. I mean. Not. Anything else."

"Uh… yeah. I know," Dib replied awkwardly, recoiling his hands slightly. "Yes. So, um." He sat back on his feet and tilted his head slightly. "I … I should really go," he mumbled, fingering the hem of his t-shirt. "If my dad finds out I left school…"

"Well… v-very well," Zim snapped back, curling down into the pillow GIR had run in and shoved under his head. "You don't need MY permissions, feeble Dib-thing." He glared briefly at Dib, cringing slightly when he realized that any eye movement whatsoever hurt his brain.

"Are … you sure you're okay?" Dib hesitated, halfway to his feet. Zim looked like he was going to quite literally explode.

"Of COURSE I'm not okay, you inferior FILTH!" he roared raspily, clutching the sides of his skull as if it were going to reducing the throbbing sensation he was currently experiencing. "Your voice is annoying as FUCK, my head is KILLING me, and I have a stupid baby implanted into my stomach by my worst enemy! Things aren't too fruity right now!"

"Too fruity?"

"Too … apple-y? Too … pear-y? I don't know…"

"Peachy."

"Yes! That."

"And … you DO remember the baby thing?"

"Baby?"

"Yeah."

"…What's a baby?"

"What do you mean, 'what's a baby'? You just said the word five seconds ago!"

"How could I use a word I've never heard of before?"

"I don't know … you … did… It's the … thing in your stomach…"

"You mean smee-" Zim paused, gently running a finger along his stomach and swallowing thickly. "Smeet." He glared up at Dib again, one of his hands still massaging one of his temples. "You can leave now."

"Wh-what did I… do?"

"Nothing. You said you had to. I'm giving the permission you wanted. Or. Whatever. Just … go. Go."

"Oh, right. Um. But you can't fall asleep. I'll tell GIR to make sure you don't."

"What? Why?"

"In case you have a concussion. It's … bad for some reason. I don't remember."

"You're just trying to torture me."

"Am not! I mean it!"

"Great Irk, human – just go!" Zim cried, rubbing his eyes with two fists and grinning slightly. Dib shook his head.

"Fine. GIR, you heard me right?"

GIR popped out from behind the TV. "YESSSSS, I gone did! I did I did!"

"GIR … please … stop … talking. Zim's head is hurting like a hurty thingy."

"Yesss, master."

Dib shook his head again. "Bye."