Inkblots
by shaku-chan
author's stuff: Please bear with me. I have a really good idea, I just need some time to form it. And since I've never posted anything to this account (although I was sure I had…hmm…), I get a few free chances. Yes? Yes. Alrighty then, on with the story.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------
They watched the two men shake hands through the glass double doors.
"Sickening, isn't it?" Schuldig scoffed softly, so as not to let his voice waft through the thin walls separating the three Schwarz from their leader. "Didn't we just barely escape from the evil clutches of Esset?"
Nagi and Farfarello nodded slightly.
"And didn't we almost get ourselves killed fighting Weiss last time?"
They nodded again.
"So why exactly are we teaming up Ink?"
Twin shrugs.
"Crawford says, 'It would be in our best interest.' More like, 'It will give me great power, while the rest of you get flayed alive.'"
They didn't bother nodding, for Crawford had just turned and was headed in their direction. The double doors flew open.
"Success," he said simply, and walked away.
Schuldig waited until he was out of earshot before he repeated, "Sickening." The three rose to their feet and softly followed their master, Farfarello alone casting a sideways glance at the grinning man still standing in the tiny glass office. The fellow must've thought he was lucky, poor bastard.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------
Their first assignment as official Ink personnel was to accompany the manager's daughter to her high school prom. They played rock-paper-scissors, and Schuldig lost. He then became completely intoxicated and the position was passed to Nagi. They all agreed this was for the best.
Nagi straightened his tie again roughly, staring at his reflection in the mirror.
"It's straight," mumbled the one-eyed killjoy sitting on the bed. Nagi's response included a mixture of grumbled denials and swearwords. Farfarello laughed dryly, taking in the young boy's appearance. The long black tuxedo, made specifically for Nagi, only hugged his small hips slightly, and flared below the waist. The outfit betrayed no inkling of the near-anorexic frame of its owner. Nagi pulled at the tie again, causing it to tighten too much around his neck. He coughed, his face pulling into a scowl.
"I told you…" Farfarello hissed delightedly as Nagi pulled to loosen the bindings.
"I don't see why you can't go instead," he rasped.
"Ah yes, wouldn't that be lovely. A white-topped Irishman and a dark-haired midget."
"She's as tall as I am."
"My point."
The door was flung open, and Crawford marched into the room, a multitude of wires dangling from his arms. "Since Schuldig is out of commission," he explained briefly, "we'll have to use conventional means of communication." If possible, Nagi's scowl deepened.
"I'm not…"
"You are. Now take it off."
Nagi straightened his face, and remained expressionless throughout the rest of the process. When the wires were secured and his outfit was back in place, Crawford left the room. The scowl returned.
Nagi straightened his tie roughly, staring at himself in the mirror.
"It's straight."
"Shut up."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------
Once off of the apartment level shared by Schwarz, Nagi found it perilously difficult to walk. He forced the elevator doors closed before anyone had a chance to enter, and telekinetically short-circuited the chords to keep from stopping at each level. He moved the wires around inside his clothes, trying to find a more comfortable arrangement.
"Wh…ffsaresss…ou do…ssss…ing…?" Nagi grimaced as Crawford's voice crackled into his ear. Odd… it was working fine a minute ago. He shrugged, finally complacent as he found an acceptable placement for the wires, and stepped out of the elevator onto the ground floor.
"What happened?" Crawford's voice rang out pure and true, and loud enough to make several people blink slightly in the young boy's direction. Of course, that might have been because of the yelp he let out, but who could be sure? He rubbed his throbbing ear, grateful when Crawford's much quieter voice whispered, "Better?"
"Yeah," he grumbled, forcing a quick pace and wiping off his expression.
"Have a good day, Mr. Naoe," called the doorman. Nagi nodded stiffly in his direction. Schwarz had had no need for fake names for over a month, but now that Crawford was back to his old tricks, they would soon be putting strange words into the hat again. Schuldig would convince Farfarello to share his last name in an effort to confuse people. ("No relation." …as if it weren't obvious.) Crawford would pick a name from the hat, changing it four or five times within the course of the day, until finally coming to the conclusion that his own name was common enough to keep. Nagi just kept whatever he got, except for the one time that Schuldig snuck "Schniedel" into the hat. Of course, Nagi didn't find out until a week later what it meant, and even then only changed it when Schuldig's nasally snickering kept stalking him around Esset.
Nagi stepped into a waiting limo, settling himself into the seat with a defeated sigh. Oh well, at least as the manager's daughter she had enough money for plastic surgery, and that meant she had to be at least a little bit pretty.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------
Nagi's calm expression never wavered. Ever. Not when they were getting their asses handed to them by Weiss. Not when he was having to completely undress in front of grown men to place uncomfortable thin wires inside his clothing. And certainly not when the most hideous girl he had ever seen opened the door to greet him.
The plastic surgery hadn't helped.
Her face looked like it had been through a cheese grater, and her thin sequined dress only called attention to her lumpy frame. It dawned on him why she needed a hired date.
"Nice to meet you," he said evenly, pushing his hand forward. Her fingers felt like clipped toenails as she grasped it and let him lead her down the steps.
The ride to the prom was relatively short, Nagi finding out soon enough that she was easily pacified with one-syllable words and short grunts as replies to her long-winded, one-sided conversation.
The prom was at a regular school, and looked as plain and simple as any old school. A large gymnasium was converted into a large ballroom, and huge balloons loomed ominously over the entrances. No extra money to make this prom special.
They strode through the thick doors, Nagi letting the girl lead slightly. She threw her weight defiantly as she walked, reminding him more of a business executive than a teenage girl, and when they walked through the doors together, he thought he heard a few people snickering softly in the crowd.
"Don't worry love…they're just admiring your lovely self," whispered a nasally voice. He didn't bother turning around. There wouldn't be anybody standing there.
"So I guess this means I don't get to wear these lovely wires anymore?" Nagi asked himself.
"Not so fast, love. You know you can't leave your girlfriend unattended." Nagi's eyebrow twitched. He cast a glance over at his 'date,' who had welded herself to his arm and was busily chatting to a group of gorgeous, but poor-looking groupies. They were all eyeing him hungrily. "Need some help?" In spite of numerous warning signals flaring in the back of his mind, he nodded. Yes.
Suddenly, he felt a pang in his bladder.
"I'll be right back," he murmured softly into her ear.
"But you're supposed to stay with me!" she whined loudly, attracting the attention of numerous teens around them.
"I'm only supposed to protect you," he said coldly, "and we have someone else who can keep track of you right now." He signaled mentally to Schu, who agreed to follow the girl's movements, and headed to the boy's restroom, ignoring her horrifying expression and wolf pack posse, which had slowly been forming a circle of lustful death around him.
Once in the bathroom, he barricaded himself in a stall and wrenched open his tux. The wires criss-crossed every which way on his chest, and his first few attempts to get rid of them only led to him mildly strangling himself. Just as he was about to cut the chords using brain power, a fizzling noise echoed softly in his ear. He paused.
"Wh…sss…then, what are…ssss…supposed…ssssst…o do?"
He released the wires currently clenched in his fist.
"She isn't guarded now, is she?"
Not Crawford.
"No."
Not Schuldig.
"Then grab her."
And definitely not Farfarello.
His mind raced as he tried to pin the eerily familiar voices. Could it be…?
Nagi threw himself out of the stall and burst from the restroom, buttoning his tuxedo as he ran and gaining more than a fair share of curses from people he recklessly plowed over.
"Schu, you there?"
"Couldn't get rid of me if you tried, love."
"Can you scan the area and check for any of our old friends?"
"What was that, kid? Mr. Always Has His Way was fussing at me about the girl. Something about…hey, can you see her?" Nagi looked around wildly, and, spotting the gaggle of girls she hung with, stumbled up breathlessly.
"She isn't here," he said aloud.
"No, but who needs her, anyway?" a tall blond purred.
"Where is she?"
"She left with some guy. But really, who-?"
Nagi flipped around, shoving a few unfortunate dancers into their fellows.
"Schuldig! I thought you were watching her!"
"Yeah, but you should get a load of this guy's mind. He's hell-bent on blowing up the school in the next-"
"SCHU!"
"Alright, alright. She's right outside. Ohhh…and you're not gonna believe who she's hunkered up with…"
But Nagi knew exactly who she was 'hunkered up' with. He broke out just in time to see the pink Flower Shop motorcycle wanna-be speeding off into the distance.
"Please don't tell me…"
"Sorry, kid. It's Wiess."