Hi everyone!
Thanks so much for your awesome reviews! I really appreciate that you like my story so much!
Here's the new chapter, and if you like it (or not ;)) please review:)
Love, Steffi
Traces Of Sadness"So, come in." Seth said while he held the front door of their apartment open for Summer who held the baby in her arms. "This is our home."
Summer examined the living room that laid ahead of her. She carefully looked around, trying to remember anything. But her mind remained blank. It felt like she had never been here before.
Seth noticed that Summer was totally lost in thought and took the baby out of her arms.
"Why don't you make yourself comfortable, I'll put this little boy here to sleep." He said, gesturing for Summer to sit on the couch.
Summer nodded and slowly entered the living room. It was a really beautiful, sunny place with cream colored sofas, huge windows that went from the floor to the ceiling, and a whole shelf with millions of technical stuff like CD players, Playstations and a huge flat screen tv.
And the view of the town was just breathtaking.
Carefully, as if she was afraid to destroy something, Summer went over to the windows to look out. When she passed the book shelf that was situated near the windows, she remarked a picture.
It showed her in a beautiful white wedding dress as she leant into Seth's arms and gave the photographer the sweetest smile anyone could imagine. She traced the picture with her finger.
So she was really married to this Seth guy. The two people looked so much in love on the photo, it brought tears to her eyes.
Fear came up in her as she looked around the living room once again. What the hell was this place?
Summer's breathing became heavier as she started to walk around, this time into the kitchen. The back door led to a huge balcony that gave an amazing view over the beach. The sun was already setting in the sky, and Summer stepped out on the balcony, letting the warm Californian spring breeze blow through her hair.
"Here you are!" Seth's voice interrupted her thinking. He went over to her and closely examined her face. "Are you okay?" he asked and put a hand on her shoulder.
Summer shifted uncomfortably. Even though she knew that Seth and her were married, he was still a complete stranger to her, and his touch made her feel a little uneasy.
Seth noticed her reaction and put his hand away, giving her a warm smile. "I'm sorry." He said.
Summer sighed and nodded. "It's okay, I guess." She paused and stared into the distance. "I've seen the wedding picture in the living room."
Seth's face lightened up. "You remember the day? It was like the most perfect day of my life. And you were crying so much, I almost got the feeling you were crying cuz you didn't wanna be with me." He laughed.
A sad smile crossed Summer's face. "No, I don't remember it. I don't remember anyhting. Of this apartment, of my… our life. Or this breathtaking view… do we spend a lot of time out here?"
Seth shrugged. "Not much really. We're both working. We'll, since you've been pregnant, only I was working…" he stopped when he saw that Summer's gaze darkened further on.
"I'm so scared." She whispered. "I mean, I even forgot that the baby in there was mine… ours."
Seth laid his hand on her shoulder again. This time, Summer didn't refuse the touch. "You know all the important things for now. The rest will come when time wants it to."
Summer sighed. She frowned and turned to face Seth. "I'm pretty tired. And the Caesarian's scar hurts. I'll get some sleep." She announced and bounced off into the apartment again.
Seth closed his eyes for a while to relax a bit. It was so incredibly hard to be so positive all the time when all he wanted to do was be desperate and sad. But he couldn't be weak now. Summer and their son needed him. The doctor had told him to treat her as normal as possible, talk to her like everything was ok.
The love for Summer was still incredibly strong inside of him. But with this Summer at his side, he felt like living with somebody totally strange.
Maybe that was the way Summer felt all the time these days.
A bounce woke Seth up from his daydreaming. He saw how Summer walked around the living room in search for the sleeping room's door.
"It's the door to your left, Summer!" he shouted.
Summer didn't react.
Seth sighed. "Summer!"
Again no reaction.
"Hey you, with the dark ponytail!"
Summer looked up at him and frowned.
"The door to your left." Seth repeated.
Summer smiled and nodded, disappearing into the sleeping room
Seth sighed heavily as she was gone.
How was this gonna be going on?
Was there someone crying? Summer sighed as some before unheard sounds woke her up from her sleep.
She felt how Seth on the other side of the bed started to move, too.
But before she could even react, Seth was already on his feet, proceeding for the door.
Summer sat up. "Is that he baby?" she asked drowsily.
In the dark, she saw how Seth nodded. "Yeah. It's ok, I'll handle it. Go back to sleep."
Seth carefully entered the baby's room. "Hey, who's crying so loud here?" he asked kindly, taking the baby out of his crib, rocking him in his arms. "Are you hungry? Or do you have other surprises for me?"
He smelled the baby's diaper. "Nope, smells like roses. So I guess it's the hunger then."
Seth kept talking to the baby as he gave him his bottle.
Just watching his son made him think of all the things Summer was missing without realizing. His heart became heavy again even though it was the best feeling in the world to hold his own baby in his arms, Seth felt kind of depressed. All those emotions seemed to be too much for him. And now that he had to handle two little children – the real baby and Summer – he felt the last of his strength slipping away.
Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he watched his little son drinking his milk.
"What am I gonna do?" he asked the baby. "I know that your mommy needs my support, but it kills me that I can't help her. What are we gonna do?"
Even though the baby didn't respond, Seth felt better just talking about what was going on in his mind.
He was so concentrated on his little son that he didn't notice Summer standing in the doorway, watching him. When she had seen how Seth had started to cry, she felt her own tears forming inside of her.
He seemed so loveable – and she caused him so much trouble. And she knew that it was a terrible thing that she didn't have any feelings for any of the persons around her. Everyone cared so much for her, and all that she felt was fear.
But from what she was watching in the baby's room, Summer suddenly knew that if there was one person she could trust completely, it was Seth. She had to start all over again – but why not?
It would be worth it.
Next chapter: A Life Torn Apart