Scene 14

Present day, back in the hotel room. Miranda is continuing her story.

Miranda: "Things were different after that. I felt safe. Maybe that is what happiness is. Mainly, I felt closer to him—there was a warmth that wasn't there before. It was the feeling that was supposed to go along with the vision the priest had shown me—it seemed attainable. (Her voice is starting to shake a bit. She doesn't look at Spike at all during this part.) I started to think ahead. We talked about getting an apartment nearby—a place with a proper kitchen. Cordelia and I did some browsing around the local area during the days. Time passed. (deep breath) Then one day I found something I liked."

Begin flashback

Angel is sitting on a couch, reading a book. Miranda comes in and sits down next to him. She's smiling.

Miranda: "Good book?"

Angel: (He glances up, but keeps reading.) "It's getting there."

Miranda: (Impatient, she glances at the title) "She lives. The uncle murdered the stable boy. She doesn't marry him and nobody lives happily ever after."

Angel: (mock annoyed, he closes the book) "Someday, I'm going to find a book you haven't read."

Miranda: "Unlikely."

Angel: "Hm. (looking at her more closely) Did you just run up the stairs?"

Miranda: "No." (She's got a real 'I've got a secret' grin on her face.)

Angel: (suspicious) "What's that look? I'm supposed to have noticed something, right? Haircut? Shoes?"

Miranda: "No."

Angel: (He can't help but grin back) "So what's with the Cheshire grin?"

Miranda: "Hm. I like it when you smile. (beat) Maybe I've got something to tell you."

Angel: (guessing) "Did you and Cordy find a place?"

Miranda: "We did. I can arrange with the landlord for you to see it tomorrow night."

Angel: "I don't need to see it. I'm sure if you like it, it'll be fine."

Miranda: "You sure you're alright with this? Moving away from the business?"

Angel: (Concerned) "How far is it?"

Miranda: "Only a few blocks. And you can always stay here if you feel you need to. (big smile) It's nice."

Angel: "Then I doubt I'll be able to stay away."

She moves over and straddles him on the couch—she puts her hands on his chest and he puts his hands on her hips.

Angel: "You sure you're OK? Your heart's beating kinda fast."

Miranda: (giggle) "I'm fine."

Angel: (a bit worried) "This isn't about the apartment, is it?" (not really a question.)

Miranda: "Nope. It's just that I wanted to tell you...that...I'm happy. Things are good." (She looks happy and relaxed.)

Angel: (He smiles and pushes the hair back from her face.) "You deserve to be happy."

Miranda: "Not really. Maybe. (pause) But I realized something else today. (A bit more serious—she looks straight at him.) Angel, I love you."

It is as if she is giving him something by telling him this. He looks at her for a moment as it sinks in. She leans in closer to whisper in his ear. He starts to look agitated.

Miranda: (Her lips just an inch from his left ear, she says softly again) "I love you." (And then smiles with a look of peaceful resignation.)

Back to the present

Miranda: "The next thing I remember is the feeling of his teeth biting into my neck. It was quite a shock—as I'd mentioned, not something we'd done, and this seemed a particularly inappropriate time to begin."

Flashback

Miranda: (in a weakening voice) "Too fast...too much..." (Her eyes flutter and she's out.)

Present

Miranda: "I was out cold. I woke up sometime later—maybe a couple of hours. He'd gone. I stumbled around looking for him, but couldn't go far because I was too weak. I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I decided to call Wesley to see if maybe he'd been called out on a job or something. I was very casual about it—he said he hadn't heard from him. He said he was on his way in—was having trouble sleeping (it was very early in the morning). I heard him arrive downstairs within the hour. I put on a scarf and some lipstick made my way down the steps."

Flashback

Wesley: "Still no word from him?"

Miranda: "Nah. He sometimes goes out when it's still dark and I've already gone to bed. He's probably just taking a walk."

Wesley: (sensing something is wrong) "Would you like me to call Gunn? He might've heard something."

Miranda: "Don't go to any trouble. I'm sure he'll turn up."

Wesley: "You don't look well; can I get you something?"

Miranda: "Perhaps a glass of water. I think I may have a touch of a fever—I do get bugs from time to time."

She is not covering her anxiety very well and he can see she's not being completely honest. He goes and pours her a glass of water and hands it to her. She takes a deep drink. She is holding her neck very straight.

Wesley: "I don't mean to pry, but did you and Angel have an argument?"

Miranda: "Not so much an argument exactly. (beat) Are we still friends, Wesley? Like before?"

Wesley: (He does actually pause a moment here to consider, after all that's happened.) "Yes. Yes, of course."

Miranda: "I'm afraid I may have gone a bit far. Men generally fear commitment, right?"

Wesley: "Often."

Miranda: "All this talk about apartments and the future—I think I may have spooked him a bit."

Wesley: "Doesn't sound like Angel. He loves you."

Miranda: "I don't know. One minute I was telling him how I felt and the next he was gone."

Wesley: "What did he say?"

Miranda: "Nothing. He just left. (getting a bit nervous) You know, I think I'll go upstairs and wait for him there. I'm quite tired." (She gets up, but then collapses. Wesley rushes over.)

Wesley: "You aren't well. And you're not telling me everything."

Miranda: "It's nothing."

Wesley: (looking at her more carefully now—seeing the scarf and the lipstick and her coloration) "He bit you, didn't he?"

Miranda: "Please, Wesley, I think he'd be mortified if anyone found out."

Wesley: (getting worried) "Tell me exactly what happened."

Miranda: "It isn't a big deal. Remember, Spike used to bite me."

Wesley: "But Angel never has." (He doesn't know this—he's guessing.)

Miranda: "No, never. (considering for a moment) I think he just lost control—he'd always refused when I'd offered before. It's a thing. (convincing herself) Yes, he must've let himself go for an instant and now feels ashamed and so doesn't want to see me. He took too much, too fast and I passed out—I'm sure he feels terribly about it. He hates to lose control."

Wesley: (deadly serious) "Tell me exactly what happened just before he bit you."

Miranda: (a bit embarrassed) "I don't see why it's relevant. (He gives her an insistent look) I'd just told him about the apartment...and...that I loved him. It must've been too much for him, see? Men—they chase you when they don't have you, then..."

Her voice trails off. She isn't convinced and despite herself, she's starting to cry. She can feel that something is very wrong.

Wesley: (deepening frown) "You're probably right. (He's just trying to placate her) Cold feet. Perhaps you should rest upstairs. I'll ask Cordelia to pick up some sports drink on her way in to work."

Miranda: (she nods) "Yes, I suppose I should rest. You'll get me if he calls?"

Wesley: "Of course." (He tries to force a smile, but it just looks creepy.)

Miranda: "Be sure to tell him I'm not angry. You know, if he asks."

Wes helps her up and she carefully starts to ascend the stairs. She looks like she is about to say something, but then decides against it and continues walking. As soon as she is out of sight, Wesley picks up the phone.

Wesley: "Is that Gunn? Sorry to wake you. Yes, I think you should come right over. We may have a situation."

He hangs up and then calls Cordelia and asks her to stop at the store on her way in. Flash forward about 30 minutes. Cordelia arrives.

Cordelia: "What's with the mug? You look like you've seen a ghost. And what's with the weapons inventory?"

Wesley: "Uh. Couldn't sleep."

Cordelia: "So you thought you'd come here and count swords and stakes? Cause that's not the tiniest bit gay."

Wesley: "You haven't heard from Angel this morning, by chance?"

Cordelia: "It's 6am—it's not even light out yet. (sarcasm) I mean, we used to stay up to all hours talking on the phone about hair and shopping, but we've had to cut back—phone bills and all."

Wesley: "Oh."

Cordelia: (getting the weird vibe) "What's wrong?"

Wesley: "Let's wait for Gunn."

Cordelia: "Fine. Here's your Gatorade, by the way. I had to go to that 24-hour mini-mart up the street. The cashier gives me the creeps—SO not human."

Wesley: "It's for Miranda."

Cordelia: "Oh." (starting to look suspicious) "'cause the last time I bought Gatorade for Miranda, she'd been kidnapped by vampires. (Wes is trying to look as casual as possible—not succeeding. She's putting things together.) So, you call me in to the office at some ungodly hour, presumably because of some emergency, Gunn's on his way, you're in the process of inventorying our assortment of vampire-killing weapons, Angel's missing, and...Miranda's been bitten. OHMYGOD. Please tell me my boss hasn't let his happy out."

Gunn: (coming through the door) "Who's happy?"

Wesley: "With any luck, no one."

Gunn: "Not usually the kind of thing I'd wish for—you people are seriously messed up, you know that?"

Cordelia: (to Wes) "So you think or you know that he's reverted to 'the killer, formerly known as Angelus'. 'Cause if you know and you're just dilly-dallying around with these baby toys, then I'm going to be very annoyed. Followed by terrified and then there's a very good chance I may actually freak out."

Gunn: (looking at the spread of weapons on the floor) "Baby toys? Will someone please explain to the black man what's going on here, 'cause I'm getting that out-of-the-loop feeling I get when I'm out-of-the loop."

Cordelia: "Angel might be evil. We should call Buffy."

Wesley: "Let's not jump to any conclusions. I mean, the only thing we know for sure is that he bit Miranda and then took off. There could be any number of explanations."

They all just stand and look at each other nervously for a moment. Then simultaneously, they head for the pile of weapons and start urgently rummaging through them. They're so busy that they don't notice Angel walk in the front door. He stops a few feet in front of them.

Angel: "Hi."

They all look up. Wesley has a crossbow in one hand and a sword in another.

Wesley: "Oh, hello."

Angel: "I'm not...I didn't...I mean, it's still...It's just me."

Cordelia: "'me' Angel, or 'me' I'm-here-to-kill-you-all-with-a-smirk-because-I'm-evil-again?"

Angel: "I don't smirk."

Cordelia: (She drops the sword she was holding.) "It's him."

Wesley sheepishly tries to hide his armful of weapons.

Wesley: "Sorry. Didn't want to take any chances."

Angel: "You shouldn't. Ever. You found Miranda?"

Wesley: "She came down about an hour ago. (His expression lightens a bit.) Huh, so you're afraid of commitment. Didn't see that one coming."

Angel: (ignoring the last bit) "Is she OK?"

Wesley: "She's resting."

Angel: "Did she tell you what happened?"

Wesley: "As much as she remembers."

Angel: (He's quite out-of-sorts. He sits down and puts his elbows on his knees and rests his chin on his clasped hands.) "Out-of-the-blue, she just said it. She meant it. I could feel it start. All of a sudden, I had everything I wanted and I couldn't stop myself from feeling it. There wasn't any time to prepare. I panicked. I did the only thing I could think of that would definitely break the moment."

Wesley: "It obviously worked."

Angel: "This time."

Cordelia: "So let me get this straight—there was absolutely no sex of any kind involved in the almost-soul-losing moment. Interesting twist on the 'perfect happiness' motif. I think I may have a newfound respect for men."

Angel: "I need to talk to her. I need to explain."

Wesley: "How much does she know?"

Angel: "Uh. We hadn't actually..."

Cordelia: "She knows about the last time, right? With Buffy?"

Angel: (sheepish) "Well. It never really came up...exactly."

Cordelia: "huh"

Wesley: "I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to see her just yet. Perhaps you need some time to...uh...collect your thoughts."

Angel: (nodding agreement) "But I can't just leave her up there—she needs to know what's going on."

Cordelia: (genuinely sympathetic) "I'll go. (pause) Should I tell her everything?"

Angel frowns and then nods. Cordelia grabs the Gatorade and heads upstairs.

Some time later, Cordelia comes down the stairs. Everyone is just sitting around looking mope-y.

Angel: "How is she?"

Cordelia: "Alright, considering. I think. Hard to tell—she didn't say much. Well, except to ask why none of us had said anything before—why we hadn't warned her. It's funny, but I didn't have an answer. I mean, that's usually the first thing I tell anyone who shows the slightest interest in you. I seem to remember thinking about it, but why didn't I ever say anything? Weird."

Gunn: "And we all know it isn't your style to keep quiet like that."

Wesley: "But none of us said anything. What are the odds?"

Cordelia: "She had lunch with Buffy and she didn't say anything either. That's freaky."

Gunn: "You think there might be some sort of mojo pushing the odds in the right direction?"

Wesley: "It's possible, I suppose. But who would do such a thing?"

Gunn: "We did actually blow up a floor or two of Wolfram and Hart not too long ago. That tends to rub people the wrong way. Go figure."

Wesley: "Seems a bit too subtle to be their work. I'll look into it."

After talking with Wes and doing a bit of meditating, Angel decides it's time he talked to Miranda himself. It's now the late afternoon of that same day. He goes to find her in their room upstairs. When he comes into the room she stands up—she'd been sitting in one of the comfy chairs. There's a moment of silence.

Angel: "You're O.K.? I didn't mean to..." (He's talking about the biting.)

Miranda: (brushing it off) "It's fine. I told you it would be. (She moves the scarf slightly) It'll be gone by tomorrow. I didn't intend to tell the others—I was just worried about you and Wesley has an eye for these things."

Angel: (He shrugs as if to say, it's no big deal.) "Did Cordy explain everything?"

Miranda: (big sigh.) "Gypsies. (a bit flippant) Who knew?"

Angel: "I should have told you. I'm sorry."

Miranda: (a bit of anger filtering into her voice) "Yeah, and why exactly didn't you? No one seems to be able to give me a straight answer on that one."

Angel: "Wes thinks there might have been some sort of...(catches Miranda's deepening glare)...I guess I assumed you already knew. I figured Buffy would have mentioned it."

Miranda: (a bit incredulous) "You assumed."

Angel: "I don't know. I can't explain it. Maybe I thought it could be different this time—I might be able to control it; control how I felt."

Miranda: "Because I'm not Buffy."

Angel: (He ponders this a moment--perhaps there is an element of truth in it. Still, it would do no good to admit that now.) "Because I knew what would happen if I couldn't."

Miranda: (definite touch of bitterness) "And yet, somehow, you still failed to mention anything to me. (snarky) Because you might be able to control it. I see."

Angel: (He takes a couple of steps closer to her) "Miranda, I..." (She doesn't let him finish.)

Miranda: (Starting to tear up slightly. Under her breath, to herself: "All this and I end up almost causing what I came here to prevent." Resigned/sad tone with a touch of frustration) So that's it then? What, I'm supposed to pack my bags and be on my merry way?"

Angel: "No. I...I...don't know. It's dangerous now, but maybe..."

He doesn't know what to say, and at this point, Miranda leans over and puts her hands on her knees/thighs and lowers her head—she looks as though she is about to break down. He steps closer to try to comfort her. But just as he gets close enough to touch her, she lifts her head and starts shaking it.

Miranda: "No. I can't do this. There's been enough bloody crying."

(narration from Miranda in the present (henceforth M-ip))

M-ip: "At that moment, something sort of snapped in me. I was at the point of either breaking down in tears over the whole business and feeling sorry for myself OR getting angry. At the time, rage seemed the healthier option, so I went with it."

She stands up, pauses a moment and then clocks Angel square in the face with a mean right hook. He goes flying back as if he'd been hit by the slayer.

M-ip: "I don't know quite where the strength came from, but I managed to send him flying. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose, which is damn impressive considering he's a vampire and all. Broke a couple of bones in my hand doing it, but it was worth it to see the shocked look on his face. After that, I didn't hold back. I let it all come roaring out."

Miranda: (seething rage mixed with tears—she's shouting) "You selfish bastard. You fucking wanted it all. I gave up EVERYTHING to come here. (brief pause) I hate this city—it's nothing but sickness and death to me. I gave up EVERYTHING for you. I was happy. Now it's all gone. Irretrievable. All for you. How could you have not warned me? Bastard."

She grabs her coat and her sword and goes stomping off. He stands up and follows her down the stairs.

Angel: "Where are you going?"

Miranda: "Wherever you can't."

She kicks open the front door and heads into the daylight. We hear the sound of her motorcycle as she speeds away.

Cordelia: (noticing his bloody nose) "I'm thinking it didn't go well."

Angel: "Gunn, could you keep an eye on her until dark?"

Gunn: "Sure, man. I'll get right on it."

Many hours later. Outside St. Michael's church.

Miranda pulls up on her motorcycle. She climbs off and heads straight for the front door. It's locked. She manages to break the lock with her sword and kick it open. We see Gunn off in the distance watching her—he makes a call and then heads towards the entrance. Now we see Miranda in the church. She finds the lights and turns them on. She looks around, wild eyed. She heads to Father Dunn's quarters. His door is open. He is sitting at his desk, reading something in brail. He looks up when he hears her enter. He can sense her emotion—it's as if she is sending out electricity or energy into the room.

Miranda: (shaking with anger) "You knew, didn't you? It wasn't true and you knew it and you showed me anyway. I trusted you and you betrayed me. Why must I be punished? Why? (beat) Well, I'm done with it. Done. It was all for fucking nothing. (she shouts) NOTHING."

Not waiting for a response, she stalks back into the main part of the church.

Father Dunn: (to himself; she is already out of earshot) "Maybe not, my child. Show them your rage and perhaps they will listen." (He gets up, puts on his coat and starts to shuffle towards a door leading to the outside.)

M-ip: "I started screaming. Every blasphemy I could think of. Every curse I'd ever heard. But that wasn't enough. I took my sword and started hacking at the statues—they were wood and easy to break. I cut the wings off of every angel I could find. I used my sword to destroy anything that could be destroyed. And when I was too tired to swing my sword one more time, I curled up in one of the pews and sobbed."

Angel appears outside of the church. He walks up the steps and peers through the doors that are still slightly ajar.

(Writer's note: For some reason, back when I conceived of this, I was thinking that a vampire couldn't go into a church. Of course, now I know that they can. Oops. In my world, he can't go inside, ok?)

Angel looks heart-broken as he stands on the steps, wondering what to do. He hears a voice.

Father Dunn: "Young man, could you help me a moment. I've dropped my cane and it has slid down into the ditch."

Angel: (mildly annoyed) "Now's not really...(catching himself) Of course. (He starts looking around by the old man's feet for the cane) Isn't it kind of late to be taking a walk?"

Father Dunn: "Is it late? I'm afraid I'm quite blind—night or day makes no difference to me."

Angel: (getting frustrated) "I'm not seeing anything. You sure you dropped it here?"

Father Dunn: "Perhaps I was mistaken. Might you just lead me to the bench near the front door? I can make my way from there without it."

Angel: (frowning—he wants to talk to Gunn, who has gone inside) "Take my arm."

The old priest takes hold of his arm and they walk slowly towards the bench. When they arrive, the man sits.

Father Dunn: "Care to sit with me a moment?"

Angel: "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

Father Dunn: "She's in there, but you cannot join her. He's with her now."

Angel: (shocked) "What? I..."

Father Dunn: "You are the dark one that Miranda talked about. Please, sit."

Angel: (pain/guilt in his voice) "I need to talk to her. I need to tell her..."

Father Dunn: "It's not the time for that now. She is in too much pain—too much turmoil. It must continue its course. They must feel it."

Angel: "Who are you?"

Father Dunn: "Someone who may be able to help. I am simply a channel for them."

Angel: "The Powers?"

Father Dunn: (not answering) "You must be quite special to be loved by such a creature as Miranda. Let's have a look (He puts his hands on Angel's face—he feels it like blind people do). Hm. Please, show me your demon face."

Angel: "Why?"

Father Dunn: "I need to show them. Please, if you want to ease her pain, you must do as I say."

Angel complies. The priest slowly explores the ridges of his face with his fingers.

Meanwhile, inside the church, Gunn is sitting next to Miranda on the pew. She is sitting up now, but still clenched and teary.

Gunn: (looking around) "Got to hand it to you—when you get mad, you get things done."

Miranda: (wiping her tears away) "I feel too much. That's my problem. After 140 years, you'd think I'd have built up a decent amount of scar tissue, but I still feel more than most."

Gunn: "Maybe that's what makes you special—that's your thing."

Miranda: "But it hurts so much, I don't know how long I can take it."

Gunn: "It'll get better, right?"

Miranda: "I never told you about death #11. (Writer's note: they have a thing where M tells G all of her 'death' stories—she has a list of every time she's "died" in the human sense, i.e., her heart has stopped beating.) Self inflicted. After Cal died, I couldn't take it—I needed to escape for a few hours."

Gunn: "You knew you'd be back, right? No shame in that."

(back outside)

Father Dunn: "I see the curse. Your soul is transient. Do you wish it to be permanent? Is that your desire?"

Angel: "Yes."

Father Dunn: "The debt must be paid. Then you will be free. (more concentration) Let me see what I can do."

(back inside)

Miranda: "Tell him I'm sorry. I know that it's not his fault."

Gunn: "You can tell him."

Miranda: "Nah. It's too much. (beat) Maybe before I leave."

Gunn: "Where're you going?"

Miranda: "Anywhere. Yes, tell him I'll see him before I go. I need to figure some things out first."

Gunn: "Yeah, OK."

(back outside)

Father Dunn: (disheartened) "I'm sorry. It's too heavy—too much. They will not agree."

Angel: "Thanks for trying. (pause) I didn't mean to hurt her."

Father Dunn: (sympathetic) "I'm sure she knows."

(inside)

Miranda: "And give him this."

She pulls at the cross pendent on her necklace until it becomes detached from the chain. She wraps it in a handkerchief and hands it to Gunn.

(outside)

Father Dunn: (He's just starting to remove his hands from Angel's face, when he jerks back slightly) "The debt has been lightened. The soul will be yours."

Angel: "What does that mean?"

Father Dunn: "Continue on the path and your debt will be repaid. (smiling) There is hope for you now."

Angel: "I don't understand."

Father Dunn: "You will. When it is time. You can go inside now. (Angel gives him a skeptical look) Go on."

Angel, looking confused, stands up and walks in through the front door of the church. He gets a few steps in, sees the carnage and then comes face-to-face with Gunn, who is walking towards him.

Gunn: "She took off. Not ready to see you yet. She wanted me to give you this."

He hands Angel the handkerchief. Angel unwraps it and sees the cross, which appears to be slightly glow-y.

tbc...