Trine
(Beneath the Surface)
Again, she feared what she felt in him, but neither her pride nor her intuition would allow her to simply dismiss him. Somehow, she knew that that would be a grave mistake.
"Of course. Come in," she said, trying to sound calmer than she felt. Arwen opened the door and stood aside to admit him. When she'd closed and bolted the door, she turned back into the room. He gazed into the sunrise, his back to her. "Was there something you wished to discuss, Legolas?" she inquired tonelessly.
"Yes," he answered, proud head and shoulders slumping a little as though he bore a great weight. She waited, dreading the questions she knew would follow. "You mean to marry with Aragorn three days hence. Is it not so?" he asked. She heard in his voice the fire that raged just beneath the thin veil of composure.
"It is," she answered simply.
"Do you love him?" Legolas asked, keeping his back to her to hide the angry tears he fought back.
"I do."
"And do you love me, Arwen?" he persisted. The anger that had cloaked his pain melted away. Either answer would sting, but he almost hoped that she would tell him that she did not love him. His sorrowful heart wanted to hear that she'd never loved him. There was a very pregnant pause before she sighed and answered.
"Yes. I do." Legolas turned on her. Rekindled anger flashed in his eyes. His eyes that had always been soulful became empty and expressionless. If she would not release him, he would make her not love him. He advanced. Slowly, he strode toward her. Fists clenched, he slammed his forearms against the door on either side of her. He pinned her body with his own. His crooked smile lost all its charm, seeming only sinister and cruel when it curled his lips in response to her flinch as she tried to squirm free.
"Be still," he hissed fiercely. Arwen was shocked into obedience. He had never spoken to her like that before. Unquenchable heat flared in his loins at the contact. It always had. More than the steel in his voice, more than being immobilized, that heat and pressure on her lower abdomen frightened her. He had never forced himself on her in more than a thousand years of love and sex and fights and she knew that he wouldn't then, but the possibility had never even occurred to her before.
"Let me go," she hissed back.
"I will once I have said my piece, but now you will listen to me," he growled through gritted teeth. She glared at him. "Tell me that you don't love me," he breathed dangerously, eyes narrowing. Arwen looked at him as though he had struck her, and her face twitched once as though she would cry.
"Wha..? No, I won't. I love…," she whimpered, looking imploringly at him. Legolas did not wait for her to finish.
"TELL ME!" he bellowed. She shied from his fury. There was another prolonged pause. She could not bring herself to do what he asked. It broke her heart to love him and it broke her heart to renounce it, but she found herself forced to do both. Her love for him overwhelmed her. The emotion that held her prisoner, unable to speak, was so profound that it could not be contained. It spilled from her soul in a single crystal tear that fell down her ivory cheek. Her voice quavered when she answered.
"I can't," she said quietly, not meeting his gaze. His fists opened and he let his hands slide down the door to rest on her shoulders. He drew back a little. "I can't," she murmured over and over, shaking her head, tears flowing freely. That uncomfortable feeling of shame possessed him again. He gathered her into his arms, and, together, they sank to the floor. They sat clinging to one another for long moments. Legolas held her. He rocked her and stroked her hair as she wept softly onto his shoulder. "I love you," she said in a broken whisper. "I love you so much that my soul would shatter to deny it. I cannot deny you, and yet…and yet I must. After all is said, Legolas, I must," the words tumbled out, her levy of stoicism breeched. He did not reply for a long time. When at last he did, his words were simple.
"You will die for him."
"I will," she said as though she'd only just realized it herself. "I have chosen Ilúvatar's Gift, and I send Frodo to the West in my stead," she said. "But I would live for you," she finally met his eyes with those words. Infinite sadness returned to haunt them both. Legolas wiped at her tear streaked face. She opened her mouth to speak again, but no words came.
"Sh," he whispered as he hugged her tightly to his chest once more. Again, her closeness, her vulnerability awakened his desire. Her eyes glistened with fresh tears as she turned her face to his.
"Please, no, Legolas…," she objected weakly. He ignored her, crushing his lips against hers. His demanding kiss was full of barely contained passion. It was her own response to it, though, that frightened and angered her. His touch electrified her. She did not want him to stop. "NO!" she yelled, rending herself from his embrace, determined not to succumb. Staggering to her feet, her hand rested on the door handle when Legolas tried his last and most desperate tactic.
"What about our…," he trailed off. Arwen knew what he had been about to say and the cold fury that contorted her features silenced him. She swung the door open. Her eyes were still fixed on him where he sat when he went pale.
"Your what?" Aragorn scowled. Arwen whipped around, eyes wide on the man who occupied the doorway. None of them moved for some time, though Aragorn's eyes searched from one shocked and guilty face to the other. All his suspicions seemed confirmed. Slowly, Arwen closed her eyes, sighed heavily, and prepared to face him…
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AN: The next chapter will begin with a flashback (hence the ellipsis), so don't be confused when it doesn't continue directly from here. You all probably know what's about to happen, but oh well. Read it anyway! J ~DR
AN2: The next chapter is definitely going to be a while. I have just gotten back a rather distressing paper from one of my classes and I need to cut back on my laziness somewhere. It's looking more and more like it's going to be coming from here. Sorry lovelies. I'll do my best. ~DR