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One Mixed-Up Mary-Sue

Chapter One: Don't Drink The Kool Aid

Cautiously, and keeping as much distance as she could, Emily followed behind the man. She had tried to run again, but he'd seemed to sense what she was getting ready to do. His look said it all: don't bother, it'll just piss me off. At least he waited for her to get dressed beforehand; she felt much more secure with her clothes (and shoes) back on. She'd discovered a number of new cuts and sores on her feet from her earlier escape attempt, though, and walking wasn't too comfortable.

As they passed people in the hallway, they all seemed to give her weird looks. Some were broad smiles, past the point of warm or friendly and way into creepy territory. Some were shocked expressions, as if she had just pulled a rabbit out of her hat and they were the five-year-old whose birthday party she was at. Then there was one of anger. Emily recognized him, and to her disdain, her guide stopped to talk to him- the man who had kidnapped her. She pressed herself back, against the opposite wall of the hallway from them.

Their voices were so low she couldn't hear what they were saying. It probably didn't help that she was putting as much distance as she could between them and her. The kidnapper kept his eyes locked on her, leveling an emotionless stare at her. The blonde turned to look at her, then back to the kidnapper. She thought she saw a look of pity in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly she couldn't be sure. Her heart started pounding again, trying to imagine why he would look at her like that. What did they have planned for her?

"I have a cat named Skittles," she blurted out. They both looked over at her, confused. He voice was shaking, but she kept going. "He relies on me, you know. If I don't get home to put new kibble in his bowl, he'll starve. My parents love me very much. I'm going to college. I'm going to be a scientist one day. I'm going to make the world a better place."

The kidnapper shook his head and said one last thing before walking by them. As he passed by her, Emily contemplated jumping at him, but instead pressed herself harder into the wall and stared at her feet.

"Come," the blonde said, continuing down the hall. Without a better option, Emily followed obediently, her gaze still resting on her feet. He passed through a doorway, but Emily paused, unable to make herself continue. Inside was the guy who had chased her down earlier. His face lit up in an eerie way when he saw her, as if he were a puppy who hadn't seen its owner all day. He was sitting at a table with a dark-haired person Emily had never seen. He seemed happy to see her as well, but not in quite the same way. He looked relieved.

"You can come in," the dark-haired man said. His voice was loud, and Emily found herself slowly entering the room. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before. The windows were large like in the room she had woken up in, but the walls were covered with art, none of which she had ever seen before. The table was surrounded by comfortable-looking chairs, and when she saw them, Emily suddenly realized how achy her body was.

"Welcome, Lady Arimirandrisleahsparkle."

"E-excuse me?" Emily stumbled over her words. Did they think that she was her cousin? Was the car story just some made up bull crap to get a place to lay low and hide from this crazy cult? And what exactly had she gotten mixed up with?

"Welcome to our land," he repeated. "I am Lord Elrond... your father."

"Too many wrong things just happened here," Emily said. "You have me mixed up with someone else." Plus you're crazy she added silently.

"Ah, my beautiful daughter, ever so modest," he said smiling. He passed her a cup. "Have some wine... drink."

"I'm not an idiot," Emily snapped. "Everyone knows not to drink the Kool Aid."

"As long as you show more restraint than Glorfindel, you will be fine." Dark hair nodded to the angry blonde, who was trying to discretely shade his eyes from the sun's painful rays. She had to admit, if he hadn't been a crazy who was helping in her kidnapping, she would have been rather mesmerized by the way he shone in the sunlight. It was almost too bad when he retreated to a darker corner of the room.

"My Lady," the simple-looking blonde said, dopey grin still on his face. "Please, sit with us. We have missed you so much!"

"What?" Despite her wobbly legs, Emily refused to sit down.

"Do you not remember me?" Simple Jack asked. "I am Legolas. We played together as children, as friends. It would seem our parents have decided that we are destined to be more than that, we are engaged! I am as outraged as you are at the invasion of our privacy and right to chose a marriage based on love, but perhaps we could learn to love each other, and become more than just friends." He signed and stared off into the distance.

"I'm going to stop you right there," Emily said, finding her voice. "What the hell are you talking about? This is insane! I don't know any of you!"

"Calm down, my daughter. Prince Legolas has travelled far from his home in his evil father's mud castle in the woods to see you! We believe this is what is best. If only there were some life-threatening, awe-inspiring journey I could force you to take together. Nothing like bonding over near-death experiences. Oh well," he shrugged, "I'm sure something or other will come up eventually. For now, drink." He was still holding the glass out to her.

Emily glanced at the one who had led her to the pair of crazies. He hadn't seemed too friendly, but at least he wasn't spurting the same insanity that these two were. He moved to her side, and again she saw pity in his slightly bloodshot eyes. Who the hell participates in a kidnapping hungover?

"You should not be afraid," he whispered. "Their minds are touched by something strange, but they will not hurt you... They are simple, but not cruel. My name is Glorfindel, and I promise you can trust me."

"Please let me go home," Emily pleaded with him. "I promise I won't even call the police."

"But if I knew the way," he said quietly. He took the cup from Elrond's still-outstretched arm and sipped the wine before handing it to Emily. "See? Fine. Under any other circumstances, I would be insulted by your reluctance. It it well deserved today. Do not drink the water, we believe that is what is doing this..." He waved a hand at the crazies, who were currently debating something amongst themselves in hushed voices.

"Why did he take me?" Emily asked. "You were talking to him..."

"We thought it was another silly joke, he has been asking us to do silly, harmless tasks ever since the insanity started. But this..." He sighed and shook his head, then poured himself a glass of wine.

"Emily, solve a debate for us," Elrond said. "I believe a summer wedding is ideal, but your fiancé is arguing for spring. I say there is too great a chance of rain in the spring, but he says that it will be too hot in the middle of the summer."

"Hypothetically, of course," Legolas said. "I'm still outraged that we've been set up like this. Hopefully though, as Lord Elrond said, through a series of heart warming, yet life threatening events we can become closer..."

"I don't want to marry you ever!" Emily shouted. Glorfindel laughed, and Legolas pouted.

"If I may intrude," Glorfindel said. "I believe that our guest is tired. You two continue your debate and I will make sure that she is looked after."

"Yes, yes," Elrond said. "We have much to discuss. This twit seems to think that tulips are an appropriate flower for a wedding ceremony. I guess that's what you expect from someone raised in the middle of some overgrown spider-infested woods. Yuck."

Legolas glared at him with a sour look, but said nothing until he turned to Emily.

"Perhaps later we could go for a walk? We could think up some crazy hijinks to get us out of this wedding, right? Then you'd almost trip, I'll catch you, and you look deep into my eyes and question whether or not you actually want to go through with the plan to get the wedding called off..."

"Pardon?" Emily asked.

"I love you."

"What?"

"As a friend, as a friend! Nothing more... yet..."

"Excuse me?" Emily snapped.

"Yes, we must find a way out of this." Legolas smiled and nodded, looking away from her as if to signal that those were his final words on the matter.

"Time to go," Glorfindel said, steering her away from the crazies.

As they left the room, Emily felt herself involuntarily relax. She didn't want to trust anyone, yet she was desperately clinging onto Glorfindel's statement that no one would hurt her, and they were just crazy.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly.

Emily shook her head no, but her stomach betrayed her. A loud gurgle came from her middle.

"How about we find you something to eat and you can decide then whether or not to eat it?" Glorfindel asked. "Besides, I seem to be behind on my daily drinking."

"Thank you," Emily said softly. Then added for good measure, "please don't poison me."

Glorfindel was somewhat taken aback, but nodded and led the terrified girl away.

She'd stared at the plate for a long time before deciding that poison would be quicker than starving to death anyways and took a bite of her meal. He had given her some soft cheese and hard bread, a fruit that looked like a plum but didn't taste quite as sweet, and a glass of wine. Like the last glass she'd been offered, she didn't plan on touching it. Glorfindel was sitting with the kidnapper, far enough away that he probably figured she would think he was giving her privacy, but could jump in if she tried anything stupid.

Not that there was much she could do. He'd sat her down in a corner, far from anyone else, and the kidnapper warned anyone passing by to stay away. She wasn't given any cutlery, which seemed a bit overdramatic. But then again, she probably would have tried something, even with just a fork and butter knife.

They were talking quietly. She tried to eavesdrop, but didn't understand the language they were speaking. So instead, Emily focused on eating.

"She keeps looking at me," Erestor said.

"She thinks we are horrible," Glorfindel said. "Truth be told, maybe we are... or at least you are."

"No," Erestor said. "How was I to know that something would actually happen this time? The last time I had to complete a task for him, he sent me to pick flowers for decoration!"

"What exactly forced you to take this girl and drag her back here?" Glorfindel asked. "If you had come back empty-handed, he would have been upset, but would have forgotten about it by the next morning and had you picking flowers again." He shook his head and refilled his glass with wine.

"I tried to return without her. Trust me, the second I realized this was for real and I was no longer here, I tried to turn back. But I could not return until I had her with me."

"You tried?"

"Of course."

"Well shit."