One Mixed Up Mary-Sue
The damn horse was out to get her. She was sure of it. Somehow it was in on this whole thing. It was smarter than any horse should rightfully be. Not that she'd ever met another horse to compare it to, but Emily just knew.
She'd had time to change into her old clothes, which had been cleaned for her, and stuff her pockets with as much food as she could carry. The crazies had gotten the horse packed up with supplies, and her new, angry acquaintance had disappeared. Emily wore a big, fake smile as she left, promising to return shortly. Once she thought they'd gotten far enough, she'd stopped the horse and dismounted. (Kool Aid had given her a great lesson: "Asfaloth is a smart horse. Pull to stop, tell the horse to go to go. Plus, we threw in some magic, you should be able to make it there and back in a day." Gee, thanks.) She took a quick inventory of the gear she had with her. She didn't know how to use any of the weapons, but maybe if she ran into trouble she could intimidate someone with them. There was some food and water, but only a few days worth at the most. A blanket completed the packing list- no tent for shelter or fire starters.
"We're going to break free," she said, closing the final saddlebag after her inspection. "How's that sound?"
The horse looked back at her and Emily moved just in time to avoid being bitten. She'd written the incident off, thinking the animal just wasn't happy being around someone it didn't know. They'd continued along fine, until Emily tried to guide the horse down a different path. She pushed it to continue along the river, but he refused to be swayed. He'd nearly thrown her when she persisted, and then kicked up his speed.
So here she found herself, struggling to stay astride a horse who was either ignorant to her pain or ignoring it. She slumped forward in the saddle, trying to keep her eyes open. It had been a few hours, Emily wasn't sure exactly how long, but she knew that it had been too long for her liking. It was all she could do not to fall off. Kool Aid's reassurances that the horse would take care of her were like a cruel joke, replaying in her mind.
The trip went on in the same manner for quite a bit longer. Eventually the horrible creature had stopped and Emily ate quickly and found a secluded spot to do her business. As soon as she returned, though, the horse snapped at her again, and they were off again. That evening, when the sun was starting to set, Emily was contemplating begging him to stop for the night when she heard voices up ahead.
"Hello?" Emily called out. It probably wasn't the brightest idea, but she wasn't exactly thinking clearly at the moment. "Is anyone up there?" Two figures shot out of the trees to her left; scaring Asfaloth (either that or the horse was sick of carrying her.) Emily toppled backwards and hit the ground on her back.
"Ow…" Emily said quietly, wondering which of her body parts would be in working order when she arrived home. She fought for a couple of ragged breaths, eventually getting her breathing back to normal. "Hello, is anyone out there? Don't make me get up." The two figures that had run out of the bushes each grabbed one of her arms- apparently those wouldn't make it back in good condition, either.
"Let go of me, you parasites!" Emily yelled, attempting feebly to shake them off.
"Emily, you're the best! Do you want to hear a joke?" one asked.
"Do you want to play a game?" the other asked.
"Help me…" she looked up at Asfaloth, but he turned around so that all that she could see was his rear end. She looked at the two excited boys holding her arms. Oh jeez. This was just insane. They were dressed like hobbits. What next, dwarves and dragons? The pair wore the same loopy smiles the others had. With a sigh, Emily resigned herself to the charade.
"I'm supposed to find Frodo, where is he?"
"We don't know," they said in unison, letting go of her arms.
"Well go find him, then!" Emily shouted. "And come back here when you've found him… I don't think I can really move."
"Okay, see you later!" Both hobbits ran off, chatting amongst themselves.
"Emily!" a man's voice called. Footsteps approached her, and then someone gently helped her to sit up. "What happened to you?"
"I fell off of the horse…" Emily said, feeling a bit embarrassed about it. "That thing is evil. Where I come from, when a horse is a giant asshole like that, the farmer cuts its balls off! Yeah, I'm talking to you!" Asfaloth stomped a foot and bared his teeth at her.
"I will heal you," the man said. "I'm Aragorn, and I'm going to be a king. I can also heal people. Oh, and I love you very much, but I was always too shy to tell you in the past. Things were so complicated with Arwen, and me being a future king. But I'm telling you now, so..."
"Are you fucking serious?" Emily moved out of his grip and slowly got to her feet. "This is just too damn much. Just give me the damn hobbit I'm supposed to pick up so I can get out of this nightmare!"
"In my haste to see you, I kind of misplaced him." Aragorn said, as if it was a valid explanation. "He must be around here somewhere. They are very small, easy to lose.
"Here he is!" The pair that had given her such a rough greeting were dragging a limp body behind them. He looked pretty bad. Emily would have thought he was dead if he hadn't made a groan when they dragged him over a large rock.
"Hey, where's the fourth hobbit?" Emily asked. This place had driven her half way to insanity, but she was pretty sure that she could still count.
"Oh, Sam is off cooking us some supper," Aragorn said. "I think its stew. Would you like to join us? He's been holding on like this for days. It may be more important that you and I take some time to catch up."
"You're worse than the one who thinks he's an elf!"
"We always have stew," one of the hobbits whined.
"I want something different," the other added. "How about chicken pot pie?"
"Chicken pot pie's just chicken stew in a pie!"
"Yeah, and the pie part makes everything better!"
"Um, guys, this guy really looks like he's dying... Can you call a time out or something? I think he needs a hospital."
"Only Lord Elrond can save him," the dirty man passing as Aragorn said. "You must make haste. Do not fret, I will save you some chicken pot pie and we will sit and eat it together and remember the adventures we had together years ago. You, a beautiful elven maiden, me, a scruffy ranger. It's okay because I left while you grew up, so it's not creepy. I just see you in a new light now."
"You're all so fucked up."
After swallowing her pride and getting help from Aragorn, Emily was ready to leave, with Frodo sitting in front of her on the white horse.
"Alright Asfaloth, let's go." She nudged him with her heels and he started walking. Eventually they were back to a trot and Emily was not feeling very well. It felt like the horse was taking every possible measure to make this journey as painful as possible. Frodo was muttering to himself, and Emily was amusing herself by pretending to have conversations with him.
Eventually, one of her conversations with Frodo was interrupted by a loud screech. It was enough to creep her out, especially seeing as it was getting dark. So much for needing all of this food for her great escape. Frodo continued to mumble incoherently. The screeching was louder now, and the horse was moving much more quickly. Suddenly she saw them, the other riders, and Frodo was freaking out. Black-robed figures on black horses. She didn't dare take a closer look, all her attention was focused forward on the road, the horse and the hobbit.
They were terrifying. Emily couldn't explain how real her fear was. Everything else could have been the biggest joke ever pulled, but these things scared the life out of her. She whispered to the horse to hurry, to please not let them get to her, and he did. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Frodo was burning up; he wasn't faking, he was really dying. These things would kill her if they got her, she just knew it. She pushed the horse harder, urging him on and on. Emily contemplated pulling out one of the weapons she'd been given, but she had no idea what to do with it. Besides, she was using all of her strength just to keep herself upright on the horse.
Finally, he splashed across a river and came to a stop. Emily hadn't realized how hard she'd been breathing. She turned to look back at the creatures. Their horses seemed nervous about the water.
"Okay, you fuckers told me I'm magic, so let's make some magic."
A great wave of water came roaring down the river, sweeping the riders away in its wake.
Thank you to everyone for reading! It was really hard to pick a realistic point at which Emily would start to believe the crazy stuff going on around her. I think the terror of being chased by otherworldly evil may just be powerful enough to give her a push in the right direction, right? Let me know what you thought about this chapter, whether you're reading for the first time, or coming back after the re-write.