One Mixed Up Mary-Sue

Chapter Nine

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"I hate it here," Emily complained to herself as she walked down another winding, sparkling, white hallway.

"It's not usually like this, you know. Rivendell has only been this bad since you arrived." Emily jumped; elves around here had the nasty habit of sneaking up on you. Whether or not they were doing it intentionally she wasn't sure.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked. She turned around and gave Erestor her best glare. "You know, when people talk to themselves, it's generally polite not to listen in."

Erestor rolled his eyes.

"Aww, thanks, you're my best friend!" Emily said, smiling fakely.

"When exactly did we become friends?" Erestor asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"Seeing as we're the only sane ones here," Emily replied, shrugging. "Who else is worth talking to?"

"This does not mean that I think that you are not exceedingly annoying."

"Well, that doesn't mean that I don't think you're uptight and mean," Emily shot back.

"Fine," Erestor shrugged.

"You're the best," Emily said smiling. She paused and looked around for a moment. "I'm not tired, but I am hungry, let's go."

"Where?" Erestor asked. "It is well past a decent hour to eat."

"Duh," Emily said. "We're going to the kitchen to get some food."

"And how do we do that?"

"We steal it, duh."

"And how exactly are you planning on stealing this food?"

"I don't know. You're the one that knows where things are around here, and I'm hungry."

"Well so am I," Erestor had to admit, dinner that evening had been rather unappetizing, and his plate had remained mostly untouched. "But I am not sneaking around and stealing from the kitchen, am I?"

"Well, you're lazy then. I, on the other hand, am on a mission. Now let's go." Emily grabbed his wrist and pulled him along behind her, humming the theme to the Mission Impossible movies.

"Okay, which way are we going, Joey-boy?"

"Excuse me?"

"The kitchen, where is it?"

Erestor rolled his eyes and pulled his arm from her grip. "Fine, be quiet and follow me."

"Uh… no!"

"I thought you wanted to go to the kitchen," Erestor started.

"Yeah, but I'm the leader!"

"Why?"

"Because I know the song, it's a very cool song."

"Fine, just stop about the song."

And so it was decided that Emily would lead in an all-too energetic way, now humming music from various movies and television series. Erestor walked behind, throwing in an unenthusiastic direction every so often. Like when you're in the car. He would be the passenger with the map.

"Dun dun… dun dun…" Emily had now moved on to the Jaws theme.

"Be quiet," Erestor said. He pushed open a door to reveal the only one inside the kitchen was Lindir, who looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown as he tried to find something. Cupboards were thrown open and various goods were in piles on the floor. Emily started grabbing things that looked appetizing and handing them to Erestor.

"What're you doing?" Emily eventually asked Lindir, who now looked on the verge of insanity.

"Trying to cook without making anyone else sick," he replied. "And find something called... oregano."

"Makes sense," Emily said. "So don't mind us." She resumed picking through the kitchen's contents.

"What exactly are you doing?" Lindir asked Emily, who has just handed Erestor a box she'd picked up.

"Robbing you," Erestor answered for her. "This was entirely her scheme."

"I was hungry!" Emily protested, hoping to defend herself.

"She has a very one-track mind," added Erestor.

"I see…" Lindir nodded. "Enjoy yourself. Maybe if there's nothing left here, I won't have to cook; I can not even stomach my own cooking. I am not a chef, nor have I ever been one. I do not know what has overcome Lord Elrond."

"Oh, I see a box of crackers," Emily chimed, not completely oblivious to Lindir's distress, but rather trying to ignore it. She was now sitting on the ground so that she could reach further into the lower cupboards. After almost emptying it out (there hadn't been too much left after Lindir's raid) she stood up and dusted herself off.

"Are you satisfied?" Erestor asked, looking at the brightly-coloured box of crackers that Emily had handed him. "In the morning, everyone will think that some wild animal was loose in here."

"I guess so," Emily mumbled. "Wait, what's in here?" Frowning in puzzlement, she pulled open a heavy door to reveal a set of stairs. Cold air hit her face as she stared down.

"Have you not seen a cellar before?" Erestor asked.

"Of course I have," Emily said, pushing the fruits that she was holding into his hands. Once she had rid herself of those, she started down the steps.

"Emily," Lindir shouted down to her. "Come right back up if you find any oregano down there!" After a few moments of silence, Erestor and Lindir exchanged an uneasy glance.

"Could we just leave her?" Erestor asked. "What trouble could she get into in a cellar?"

"What if she fell?" Lindir asked, worry clearly on his face. "Lord Elrond will blame us!"

"Erestor, Lindir!" Emily shouted up from the cellar. "Come down here!"

"If she has done something stupid, I swear I will hurt her," Erestor muttered, stalking down the stairs. Lindir paused to light a candle, and then followed after Erestor. When he saw what was going on, he found he was feeling mixed emotions; relief that the girl was okay, and anger that she had scared them for nothing. The anger was already taken care of, though, as Erestor was giving her a rather stern talk.

"We thought that you had fallen or been hurt!" He shouted.

"You aren't my parent," Emily said. "Also, I never even said that I was hurt, I just wanted you guys to come down here."

"And why is that?" Lindir asked, moving closer to the arguing duo, so that all three of them were in the small circle of light given off by the candle. He frowned. "What are you holding behind your back?"

"Oh, just the means by which to drown your sorrows at being a shitty cook," Emily said quickly, grinning all the while. "Which is, naturally, alcohol."

Erestor snatched the bottle from her. "Who do you think you are walking into here and stealing?" He quipped. "This is not free for anyone to take and use as they will. This is one of the finest wines in this cellar." He frowned and moved to put the bottle back.

"And I keep getting told that I'm one of the greatest guests here, so I guess it all works out well." Emily stood her ground. "I will sleep in this cellar if I have to, I'm not leaving sober. Anyways, it's more for Lindir than me..."

"Let her have her drink, Erestor," Lindir said, smiling. "It has been a long day."

Before Erestor could continue to argue, voices came from upstairs. They were in the kitchen, and by their tone clearly appalled at the mess. Emily couldn't make out the words, but they seemed to be getting closer. Lindir moved to a back corner of the cellar so that the candle's light would not be seen. Then, to the dismay of all three, the sound of a door swinging shut reached their ears. That was followed by the sound of a bolt sliding into place.

Erestor stood in shock for a long moment before he opened the bottle in his hand and took a long drink.

-

This is deffinately my favourite chapter! It was so much fun!