One Mixed Up Mary-Sue
Chapter Twelve
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"Leave me alone," Emily whined, covering her head with a pillow.
"We should," Elladan said, turning towards his brother.
"Legolas could always come to teach her," Elrohir added, smiling. "I have other things to do today."
Emily pulled the pillow off of her head. Sighing, she sat up and glared at the duo. "I didn't even want to do this is the first place, you know..."
Oo
"Today… was such… a living hell…" Emily said, pushing open the door to her room. She collapsed on her bed, exhausted and near sleep. All morning she'd been 'learning' archery (and failing miserably). All afternoon, Legolas had tried to start a conversation about their feelings. That, also, had failed miserably. But he had been especially persistent today, only accomplishing to further annoy Emily.
Emily wasn't sure how long she'd fallen asleep for, but the next thing she knew, she was being awoken quite violently. Susan was shaking her, all the time scolding her about falling asleep.
"Wha…?" Emily mumbled, opening her eyes.
"It's time for dinner," she said. As soon as Emily stood, Susan made her way over to the wardrobe and started fishing through dresses. She pulled out a peach-coloured monster and smiled. Emily sighed in defeat as Susan started on her hair.
Oo
Emily was feeling quite self-conscious as Susan practically pushed her into the dining room. Susan was chattering away madly about hair and males and clothing and all kinds of 'fun and interesting' things.
"Emily, it is good to see you again." Emily cringed. She'd been so happy when Susan had told her that Legolas was going to be late, that she'd forgotten about Aragorn.
"Don't touch me, don't come in my personal space and do not talk to me." She said flatly, sitting down for dinner.
"How did it go?" Erestor asked.
"Oh, great," she said sarcastically. She grabbed a roll and bit into it. "But this is good."
"What happened?" Lindir asked.
"She failed miserably," Elladan answered for her.
"It's true, I couldn't hit a thing. But I think I scared the shit out of someone, I swear it was an accident, though. Hey, at least it didn't hit them; it was close, but I didn't hit them."
"That is good to know," Glorfindel said, laughing.
"Oh yeah, all of you just laugh at me," Emily mumbled, finishing off the rest of her roll. And that is exactly what they did; it wasn't often that someone was almost shot at Rivendell. It also wasn't often that Emily was in as good a mood. She actually considered today a good day; she hadn't seen Legolas yet, Aragorn hadn't talked to her since she'd told him not to, and she had yet to be attacked by flying hobbits. So she hadn't done to well- okay, she'd done terrible- earlier today, but maybe that meant she would be sent home.
"May I please have everyone's attention?" Elrond yelled, standing. "Tomorrow there will be a… secret council! Everyone is invited. Thank you; that will be all."
"That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard…" Emily said. She shook her head in grief for the death of intelligent dialogue.
"Emily!"
"Damn it," she muttered, recognizing the voice of a certain annoying blonde. Legolas smiled and sat down beside her after threatening the guy sitting beside her. Emily slowly moved her chair away from him.
"You look very pretty today, Emily." Legolas said, playing with her hair. Emily yelled and jumped out of her seat.
"Stay the fuck away from me! I don't even know why I come down for dinner anymore, someone always finds some way to do something stupid and piss me off. Good job."
"See what you've done?" asked a very angry-looking Aragorn.
"Shit…" Emily said to herself, rolling her eyes.
"It was not my fault! She is only upset because you are here!" Legolas protested.
"Oh, really?" And that was about all the Emily stayed for. So, twice in two days, she had left the room angry and wanting nothing more than to go to bed and wake up at home.
"Emily?"
"Leave me alone!" She yelled, quickening her pace.
"Young lady, that is no way to-"
"Well, that's fine because I am not your daughter!" She pushed open the nearest door, stepped inside, and slammed it shut. "Damn it!" Of all places, she'd picked a closet. She opened the door slowly and glared at Elrond. "Fine, what do you want, now?"
Oo
"Emily," Elrond said. "You must know; the fate of Middle-earth is in your hands."
"Right," she replied, finishing off her cup of tea. "Why don't I believe that? Oh yeah! It's a load of bull! Look, you guys really do not need me here. I can't fight, and I'm in no way strong enough to go on a long, perilous journey."
"Oh Emily, that is why you would not be going alone. Legolas and Aragorn will be there. I think that they both like you."
"I don't want them to like me! I want them to leave me alone!"
"Don't be silly," Elrond scoffed.
"I'm not," Emily replied. "I'm trying to be as fucking serious as I can after being stuck in some crazy fantasy book!"
"Emily," Elrond said. "You are not trapped here. You must only stay until you have fulfilled your part in the fate of the world."
"Huh?" But he only kept on going.
"You have a very important part to play in all of our fates. You must help us all, and that is why you are going on the quest. You leave the day after tomorrow." And ending on that note, Elrond stood and left the room. Eventually Emily followed suit and trudged back to her own room.
"Damn it! Why the hell is thins happening?" She muttered to herself. "This is so stupid, there was never supposed to be an extra in the fellowship…"
"Hey, Emily!" Contemplating how horribly the plot would turn out if both Aragorn and Legolas were dead, Emily slowly turned around.
"What the hell do you two want?" She asked.
"Emily, who do you love more?"
"Emily! Make Legolas shut up!"
"You don't really like him, do you?"
"Tell him that you love me!"
"Tell him that you aren't interested in him."
"Emily!"
"Emily!"
"Shut up both of you!" Emily yelled. "I don't like either of you, so just leave me the frick alone! Just stop following me, stop talking to me and stop trying to get me to like you; I don't now and I never will!"
Legolas looked on the verge of crying, Aragorn looked very angry. Suddenly, music started playing. Emily suddenly became even angrier.
"Don't you dare sing- either of you!" She yelled, pointing at them.
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
"Just stop it! Where the hell is the music coming from?" Emily demanded.
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy
But no one-
"Shut the frick up!" Emily yelled. "Whoever is playing that music is going to die!"
Can't I at least finish the song?
"No! And who the hell are you?"
A random plot hole.
"There are talking plotholes?"
You mean you've never noticed how every girl who comes to Middle-earth talks to herself? That's me!
"Oh holy-"
Language!
'Since when are you my mother?' For the sake of appearing sane, Emily had decided that she'd keep the conversations in her head.
I'm not- I'm you.
'I thought you were a plothole?'
Right- err… it's an inconsistency in the plot. Don't worry you'll be seeing a lot of them.
'Great…'
It will be great! Now, tell me, who do you like?
'What?'
Aragorn or Legolas, who do you like? Or if not, maybe we could pair you up with someone else.
'I don't like either of them! And I in no way want to be paired up with anyone else. Just leave me alone.'
Not until you save the world, Mary-Sue- I mean Emily.
The voice then went on to laugh, Emily continued to be angry and Legolas and Aragorn were trying to help Emily, who hadn't responded to them. Therefore, using all of their intelligence, wit and cunning, they had come to the conclusion that she must be dead or possessed.
"Emily, snap out of it!" Aragorn yelled, his hands had a firm grip on her shoulders and he was shaking her back and forth.
"Let go of me," she said, pushing his hands away.
"Emily, what happened?" Legolas asked, his voice calm, yet angry. "First you say you do not love me, and then you will not answer me! You are worrying me, Emily."
"Emily." The girl in question turned to see Erestor, looking quite impatient. "Your father wishes to see you."
"Why? I just came from talking to him."
You should go, maybe it's important.
'Shut the hell up, voice.'
"He didn't tell me, just hurry."
"Fine, fine, I'm coming." She said, pushing Legolas away from her and following after Erestor. "Does Elrond really want to talk to me?"
"No, you just looked like you were about to kill one of them."
"Aw, thanks, you really saved my ass. I have no idea how much more I could have taken."
He lied to you! He lied! What a meanie, mean liar!
'Just shut up.'
Meanie, meanie, meanie! Mean, mean, mean!
"Shut the hell up!" She yelled out loud. Giving her a worried and confused glance, Erestor slowly backed away.
See, he thinks you're crazy! He's a meanie! You should go see Legolas.
'I don't blame him; I think I am going crazy.'
Oh no, when you're going insane, I'll let you know.
'Gee, thanks so much…'
"Emily, are you alright?"
"Oh yeah, just great…"