BLEED FOR ME

Author: Zefiros83
Disclaimer: Characters from BtVS belong to Joss Whedon. Or to Mutant Enemy. Or to whoever it is that owns them. g I'm just borrowing them for fun.
Distribution: Want, Take, Have. That simple.
Rating: R for some good amount of reason. And well, adult themes.
Summary: B/A. This story takes place in the middle of S3, beginning right after everyone's found out Angel's back from Hell. Buffy's saddened that her friends and family aren't supportive of her relationship with Angel. She's beginning to think they will never understand - when the latest nasty in town gives her a welcome distraction. Plz R&R.

CHAPTER 3. SWAN SONG

Welcome back says the voice on the radio
But I never left, I was always right here
In your hand
All the colours that you thought were kings
At the turn of a card can just disappear

- Quote from the song 'A Day Like Today' by Tom McRae -

Early the next morning, Buffy walked in through the library doors, in hopes of hearing the outcome of last night's reserch-party. Her friends - Xander, Willow, Oz and even Cordelia - were already seated around the wooden table situated in the middle of the room, idly flipping through some ancient-looking leather-bound books with Buffy's Watcher, Giles. There were books everywhere - stacked up in tall piles on the counters and even on the floor. Buffy had to walk around quite a few of the un-orderly mounds before she reached the obviously sleep-deprived scooby gang. She felt more than a little guilty for well, having had far more pleasurable things to do last night than digging her nose in this many books.

"Hey you guys. You haven't been here all night, have you?" She grimaced, and was greeted with tired eyes and some yawning.

"No, but it sure feels like it." Xander quipped, glancing up from the book he was reading.

"We've just been here a couple of hours, helping. Giles did most of the work." Willow explained, and scooted over on the bench to give Buffy somewhere to sit.

Buffy accepted the offered seat with a smile, and looked up at her Watcher questioningly. "Well, what have you got?" She asked.

Giles put down the book he was studying and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I rather fear the information we've been able to gather on Savina is rather.. unreliable to say the least." He sighed. "The most saliant books of demonology, which I would've needed to properly research her, have been lost by the Council. Most likely they were destroyed sometime during the second world war. Unless of course--"

"Giles, while we're young."

"Yes quite," He removed his glasses, to clean the lenses with his handkerchief. "Well.. To begin with, she's very old. Enhanced, in comparison to creatures we've encountered thus far."

"Enhanced? As in demon volume 2.0?"

"She's been on this earth several times over the course of millenia. Each time, she became revered among the inhabitats of this earth. However primitive they were at the time, they recognized her power. Savina is described.. as a feline creature, a goddess of war and.. carnal pleasures."

Buffy gave her Watcher a pointed look. "You could've just said sex, you know."

"Uh.. I-I-in any case," Giles stuttered, "We are to assume she possesses some power which allows her to shift between her corporeal and ethereal form. That, according to some volumes, will make her a tough opponent to annihilate entirely. I rather fear this demon is.. indestructible, for even when her corporeal form is slayed, she can remain dormant in her ethereal form, waiting for a new body to sustain her."

"So.. I guess since we haven't seen cat-woman running around, it's safe to say she's still lacking that shiny new body?"

"Yes, that would be my opinion. And that's where those five vampires you encountered last weekened come in. It seems they were part of the Order of Nefeon; a group of vampires dedicated to the worship of Savina. They're the ones attempting the ritual for her awakening. As of now, we needn't worry about Savina - before the demon can do us any substantial harm, the Order must find her a suitable body to inhabit. But who knows how strong she will become once the vessel is chosen. So I believe it would be our best course of action to stop her from acquiring one."

"But how do we know where to look? I mean, what are her preferences? Weight, height.. amount of tentacles?"

"That's where the information become's unclear. Some volumes speak of devouring of souls, while others refer to 'merging of the three spirits'. I doubt a creature as old and powerful as Savina would choose just any common--"

"Vampire." Buffy swallowed hard. Angel. What if the reason he hadn't lost his soul was the fact he was being targeted as a demon body to possess?

"Buffy, don't jump to any conclusions." Giles spoke up, having correctly read her distress as Angel-induced. "I must say there are no rational grounds to assume that--"

Buffy stared at him apprehensively. "Giles.." She addressed him. "Me and Angel.. Things have been weird. In the sense that something odd happened. Between us. Or rather, didn't happen."

Xander blinked at her. "OK, you're loosing us here."

"You slept together." Giles stated, the first to realize the ugly truth.

Seeing the tell-tale admission on Buffy's face, Xander bolted up from his seat by the table. "What? Are you out of your mind?" He exclaimed.

"Just don't OK, not now. We've got this thing to worry about." Buffy dismissed him, before turning her attention back to Giles.

"And his soul?" Her Watcher asked, refusing to meet Buffy's pleading gaze.

"Still intact. That would be the thing that was weird."

"Anything else."

"Giles, I know you're all disappointed in me, and you have every right to be - God, I've been wagging a finger at bad, bad Buffy for days! But.. It was like we had no control."

This seemed to peak Giles' interest. "Perhaps it was all a part of some creature's plan?"

"Hey, does goddess of carnal pleasures ring a bell?" Xander chipped in.

Giles immediatly came to the same conclusion and turned to Buffy. "If Savina has been meddling in your life, Buffy, you should try your best to refrain from.. temptation."

The Bronze was a large, dull looking building not unlike the warehouses that surrounded it in Sunnydale's small industrial district. But for Buffy and most other kids her age, it was the epitome of social intrigue and the perfect place to hang-out after school. Usually she went there with her best friends, but after her little exposé earlier that morning, Buffy had thought it best not to call them. She hadn't felt like confronting them and their accusations, not until they were over the initial shock. So instead of Will and Xander, she'd called Angel and arranged a date at eight o'clock.

As she walked in past the bouncer and entered the shadowy, cavernous realm of the Bronze, Buffy realized she was running a little early for her date. She decided to buy herself a latté, since she had at least twenty minutes before Angel was likely to show up. As she waited for her drink by the counter, Buffy suddenly noticed Faith - her brunette sister Slayer - smoozing up to some blond haired frat boy. Faith managed to pick up on her stare, and glanced back at Buffy over her shoulder. She grinned lewdly as their eyes met, and then made her way over to the counter, leaving her newest conquest staring after her like a lost puppy.

"So B.. Is this a bad time? Are you waiting for you demon lover to show up?" She drawled.

"Hi Faith." Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister Slayer's blunt remark. "So you heard about Angel and me, huh?"

"Well duh. Since you boinked the undead, the rest of the bloodsucking population have gotten their hopes up. I've been getting some weird proposals lately."

"Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable." Buffy cast Faith a lopsided grin.

"Nah, 's cool. Nothing bad with leading them on until you stake 'em." She grinned, her chestnut brown hair swirling around her shoulders.

"Talk about staking," Buffy said pointedly, "There's a new girl in town. One that bites. You might wanna watch out for her and her entourage."

"Come on B, Cordelia's not new in town, is she?"

"Faith. I'm serious." Buffy warned. "This could get ugly. Giles seems pretty wigged over this demon."

"Relax. Haven't you always bounced right back up when someone knocks you down? I doubt this time's any different."

"I don't know. Luck tends to have that nasty habit of running out." Buffy lamented. "Just promise me you'll be careful?"

"Yeah, sure. You just watch out for your own back." Faith's arrogant smile stayed firmly in place. "Look, I better go reel in the catch of the day. I'll see ya 'round?"

"Sure." Buffy nodded, and watched the dark haired girl disappearing to the swarming crowds. She turned her eyes into her latté, and stirred it a little with her spoon.

Faith was nice enough, but in so many ways completely different from her. She couldn't be trusted with responsibilities, after all she had skipped patrol in favour of attending a party somewhere on more than one occasion. Lately, it had begun happening more and more frequently, and she rarely had any kind of an explanation to offer for her absences. But in a way, Buffy envied Faith's carefree lifestyle. Living independently, doing what she wanted when she wanted - on the surface it looked like a dream.

"Are you gonna drink that at some point or just stare it to death?" Angel asked her amusedly, having suddenly appeared next to her out of thin air. How he could do this to a slayer every single time was beyond Buffy's comprehension. Probably had to do with his age.. and her lesser experience.

"Well you never know where evil lurks here on the Hellmouth. If there could be mind-controlling bugs nestled in eggs, who knows what might jump out at me from this latté. You can't be too careful, you know."

"Personally, I draw the line at coffee." Angel smiled at her compassionately, and set his half-empty coffee cup down on the counter next to hers. "I take it your meeting didn't go well?" He asked.

"To say it went badly would be an understatement. I had to tell them about us. You know, as in what we've been doing? And if you thought they'd burst into song and do a little happy dance - you couldn't be more wrong. In fact, Giles pretty much forbid me to ever see you again. He thinks that.. the reason you haven't lost your soul has to do with this demoness in town. And that.. she might have us both under her influence."

"I-In what way?"

"Giles said that she 'lessens the restraint we have over our impulses'. That would explain a lot, when you think about it. Like why I haven't felt all that worried about your soul's permanence. This whole thing gives me the creeps. It's like.. If I can't control my own behaviour.. How am I supposed to fight her?"

Angel became very quiet, and stared down at the counter's surface. "This could mean trouble. If I lose control.. People get hurt."

"But so far, nothing bad has come out of this. In fact.. I've kinda liked the new, impulsive Buffy. She got me my Angel back."

"I'm just wondering what the price will be." Angel said thoughtfully. "A demon wouldn't bother playing Cupid. There's got to be something she wants."

"Apparently there is, if you take Giles' word for it. She wants your body."

"E-excuse me?" Angel choked.

Buffy smiled in spite of the severity of the situation. "Apparently ensouled vampires rate pretty high on the body-of-choice list. And why not, you being immortal and all." She told him.

"If it is my body she needs.. How do we stop her from getting it?"

"The jury is still out on that one. Giles promised me he'd have some answers by tomorrow but.. It doesn't look good. These vampires that worship her? They don't even need to be physically in the same room with you to perform the ritual. But that kinda makes you wonder why they haven't done it already."

"Maybe they're waiting for the right time, the right circumstances. Whatever the case, we have to act. Now, while we still can."

"W-what are you suggesting?" Buffy looked up at him fearfully.

There was a brief silence. "If I'm dead--"

"No! No, I won't let you do that!" Buffy proclaimed. "I won't go through that hell again!"

Angel stared at her darkly. "Buffy, it's the only way. She can't take my body if it doesn't exist."

"There's bound to be another way, there always is. We just gotta be patient, and wait. Promise me you won't do anything to yourself."

Angel sighed. "Buffy I can't be evil again. I won't."

"Promise me. Otherwise you know I'm just gonna chain you up in your bed until you change your mind." She insisted, her hands placed defiantly on her hips as she stared down her vampire boyfriend. Finally, Angel lowered his gaze as a sign of concession.

"Convincing argument." He grinned at her apathetically.

The music echoing from the dancefloor captured Buffy's attention. "I love this song, let's dance." She grabbed Angel by the hand and pulled, gently urging him to follow. Angel simply eyed her warily. "Well? Come on." She tried again, but he still wouldn't budge.

"I don't dance. I mean, I can't. Two left feet, I swear." He explained, looking a little embarrassed.

Buffy gave him a look. "You can't be as bad as Xander."

"It's just.." Angel winced.

"In your dancing days, the music was of the Waltzy variety, I know. Just humour me, will ya."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He sighed, but followed Buffy's lead into the crowd of dancing couples.

They settled to the far edge of the dancefloor, just as the beat of the song picked up to a deafening boom. Buffy observed Angel's very clumsy attempts at modern dancing. "You're not that bad.." She remarked, attempting to keept a straight face. Unsuccessful, she burst into giggles, causing Angel to blush bright red - which was pretty rare, considering he had no circulation to speak of.

"OK, I think my dept to society is paid. Can we go back now?" He asked, chuckling a little himself.

Buffy nodded, trying to stop laughing. They turned from the dancefloor and towards the opposite end of the club, when they unexpectantly bumped into into Willow and Xander.

"X-Xander. Will. Hi." Buffy stammered, taken completely by surprise. Both of her friends were looking extremely offended, and she had some idea why.

"Having fun?" Xander spat out.

Buffy tried to brush past him but Xander stepped in the way, effectively blocking her path. Buffy sighed and looked up at him wearily. How many times would she need to have this argument with him? "Xander, don't. I don't want to get into this with you. Not now."

Xander however, seemed to think otherwise. "I can't believe you're doing this!" He practically shouted. "What is it with you and vampires, anyway?"

Buffy gritted her teeth. "I'm not accountable to you. Who I choose to date is not your concearn."

"My life is my concearn! Who do you think deadboy's gonna come after once he jumps off the soul-train again? Some of us might end up having more than our feelings hurt, you know." Xander pressed on.

Buffy's whole body tensed in anger. How dare he treat her like some spoiled little girl!

"Xander, let's go." Willow tucked at his arm, seemingly uncomfortable in the tension of the room. "Come on, you don't want us to get kicked out." She pleaded.

Xander seemed to consider this for a while before he finally nodded at Willow. "Sure." He said, "Don't feel like watching this display, anyway."

"Willow.." Buffy called out to her best friend, but the red-headed girl wouldn't even glance back at her. Why is this happening to me, she thought. Do I really have to choose between love and friendship? She then felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around her waist.

"I'm sorry." Angel whispered regretfully.

"Don't be." Buffy told him, staring after her friends as they were leaving the club.

"I think I should go," Angel reckoned, and before Buffy could object he added, "You need to talk to them. And as long as I'm around it will be difficult.."

She glanced up at him. "No, Angel--"

"You need to do this. I'll always be there for you.. But I think you need them too."

"I'll see you later?" Buffy asked, smiling quietly.

Angel smiled back at her and kissed her hair. "Buffy.. I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." Buffy responded earnestly, and departed from Angel's embrace to run after her friends.

Buffy caught up with Willow and Xander in the alley behind the club. "Wait!" She yelled at their retreating backs, and they stopped expectantly upon hearing her voice. "You want to talk? Then let's talk. But don't dump your hurt feelings on me. My life is tough enough without your insults." Buffy told them matter-of-factly.

"Buffy.." Willow looked at her sadly. "Do you even want to be friends with us anymore? It's just that.. ever since last summer, you've been.. different. You never talk to me about anything! And you keep things from us, and don't listen to Giles and.. And the way you act with Angel.. It's almost like you don't care what happens to us, as long as you're happy."

"Willow! Of course I care! You and Xander.. you're my best friends. You have no idea how difficult it's been to not have you to talk to. It's just.. I don't want to hurt you. And lately, whenever I talk to you.. That's all I seem to do."

Xander's eyes burned with rage. "What do you expect, huh?" He ranted. "When you welcome back the creature that threatened us all with murder? Ever think about that? Are we supposed to just act everything's all fine and dandy, while he has you in his bed?"

"If you have to blame someone for Angelus, blame me. But don't take it out on Angel. It's not his fault."

"He killed Ms. Calendar! He tortured Giles! How is that not his fault?"

"Xander, you've known vampires exist for little over two years, and already you think you understand them better than I do? Have you forgotten what losing a soul does to a person?"

"I remember what it did to Jesse." Xander replied. "But I still killed him."

"And you think that makes you a Slayer, then? The expert on wielding a stake?"

"At least I could see past the person he used be!"

"You know Xander for all the accusations you throw my way for not being able to tell Angelus apart from Angel, I think it's you that has the problem. You've had it in for him from day one. Even when you had nothing to fear from him you used every opportunity to try and turn me against him. It's so disappointing how little things have changed since then. I thought by now, you would know the difference. Angel couldn't have done anything about Angelus and it's unfair to treat him like he should have."

Xander responded by huffing in annoyance.

"Look, I'm not saying either of you have to be madly in love with him, like I am. I'd just appreciate it if you could give him a chance to make up for what happened. Or at the very least, that you'd stop with the hating." Buffy requested both her friends.

"Buffy, I've never said I hated Angel." Willow told her softly. "I know what he means to you. I'm just a little concearned.. that maybe you've not thought this relationship through. He is a vampire. And even though things have been good for now.. there's no saying that that won't change. He might lose his soul still, or get possessed by this demon or who knows what. A-and even if none of that happens.. It won't change the fact that he'll never grow old or be able to father you children.. He can't even join you in the sunlight! I'm just afraid.. that you'll miss out on a lot because of him."

"Willow.." Buffy sighed, and fell silent for a spell. "I'm not like you. I don't get to have a normal life, nothing Angel could possibly rob me of. I get to feel guilty for killing things I'm not even sure are monsters, half the time. It's not like vampires don't feel pain or fear or whatever. Sure, killing them saves lives and is without a doubt the lesser of two evils but.. I still have nightmares about their faces. You have any idea what it's like, when I have to kill things that can talk back, night after night? I make light of it but.. Most of the time, it's just a front. Angel sees that. And.. I know he understands."

Willow and Xander stared back at her quietly, at loss of words.

Xander opened his mouth as though to apologize - when a growl rumbling from somewhere nearby interrupted him. Buffy's eyes turned towards the noise in alarm. She saw a dark figure crouching at the end of the alley, tilting it's head as the creature eyed her assessingly. Buffy assumed her battle stance, and pulled out the stake from her waistband. So much for a work-free evening. "Will, Xander, you better get out of here. I think this one's not gonna listen to reason."

"Hey," Xander uttered uneasily, "Try the language of violence. Bet he understands that."

"We'll be inside." Willow told Buffy, before she and Xander ran away from the forthcoming battle, leaving Buffy alone to face her opponent. Which was fine by her, since the less people she had to watch out for, the more she could focus on slaying this beast. Her stake firmly in hand, Buffy prepared for the vampires attack.

Meanwhile, Willow and Xander had already reached the relative safety of the Bronze. Behind the heavy, wrought-iron door that lead to the alley, they glanced worriedly at each other. "Now that was a weird vampire. Never seen one acting so.. bestial." Xander remarked.

"I know. But Buffy can handle herself. I mean, there's not much we can do to help. We'd just get in the way." Willow told him, reminding them both why helping Buffy with her work was sometimes a very dangerous decision to make.

"Bet Angel could, though." Xander scoffed, a hint of self-flagellation in his voice.

"Xander.." Willow tried to comfort him, but he was already breaking off a makeshift stake from an abandoned wooden crate.

"He's not here now.. but I am. And I'm gonna help her out. You coming?" Xander said, fidgeting in the doorway with his stake. He looked a little out of his element - but his concearn was very touching. Willow gave him a little smile, remembering just why she'd had an enormous crush on him for the better half of her life, until very recently. Xander always seemed to better himself when the chips were down, and become the unlikely hero to save the day. "O-Ok." Willow stuttered, and followed Xander out into the night.

It was very quiet outside, indicating that the battle between slayer and vampire had seized. Or, which was the more likely option, it had moved somewhere else. "Can you see her?" Willow asked from the doorway, afraid to walk beyond the reach of the bright white light of the nearby halogen-lamp. She could hear moths clinking against the lightbulb. The sound should have barely reached her ears but for some reason it drew her attention. Everything around her was suddenly too loud, too cold, too dark. She instinctively knew something was wrong, in a major world-off-it's-axis kind of way.

But what? Willow shivered in the cold and crossed her arms. "Xander? Maybe we should go back inside. I'm sure she'll come looking for us soon." Willow called in the direction her friend had taken off to. Only silence answered her. She couldn't see anything through the darkness, and was beginning to freak out from the adrenaline in her veins. The blackness of the night seemed to close in on her from all sides, as she kept standing in the only visible beam of light. The moths continued their desperate assault on the lightbulb. She could hear the wind, ruffling newspapers on the wet, gleaming pavement. Finally Xander melted out of the shadows, walking very slowly over to her. He looked ashen white and devoid of all his usual bravado.

"W-what is it?" Willow asked and grabbed hold of his hand. Xander's eyes darted up, wild and frightened.

"Will.. It's Buffy.. I saw her, she--"

"W-what is it? She's OK right?" Willow stammered, a sense of dread settling further into her stomach.

Xander shook his head, shock and disbelief written all over his face. "N-no. Will.. I think-- I think she's dead."

AN: Chapter 4 should be up within a week. That is, unless I get lazy. g