One Mixed Up Mary-Sue

Chapter 19

-

Trying to forget the day's activities, Emily pulled her bedroll tighter around herself. She didn't even mind that she was sleeping on the floor; it was enough to be able to rest her sore legs. Running around mines and forest had taken its toll. Yes, rightly, today's activities should have taken much longer, but Mary-Sue was apparently becoming impatient.

The first thing they'd done upon reaching Caras Galadhon was climb stairs— lots of stairs. Emily had lost count after one-hundred and nineteen. She'd expected some crazy Sue endurance to kick in, but apparently Mary-Sue, though impatient, was still angry with her.

Galadriel had played very well the part of a grandmother. She'd even gone so far as to bake cookies. Seriously, she had cookies… not that they weren't great cookies. They were actually pretty good. It was just strange to see her handing out cookies and wearing a frilly, pink and white apron.

There had been much conversing in gibberish (an attempt at Sindarin), none of which Emily had understood. At one point in the conversation, Legolas had turned to her and spurted off a long line of 'dsfnaai' and heerroiunssek' and other similar sounds. Emily had flipped him off and sat down on the floor. She'd managed to get a bit of fun in the day, though, when they were going down the many, many stairs. Sadly, the elves she'd nearly run over weren't so happy about her fun. When he'd turned away, Emily had grabbed Boromir's shield and slid down. Like you would when using one of those saucer snow sleds… except there wasn't any snow… But it was fun and nearly worth it.

In the end, it had been a bit fun, and she'd managed to avoid her stalkers for a while. But at the end of the stairs the shield had snagged in a hole or on a rock (she wasn't sure what exactly it had been) and she'd gone face first into the dirt. Learning from experience of falling over, she'd used her arms to protect her face, and had come out of it with minimal injuries: two scraped knees and a scraped right arm.

Two female elves had rushed over, and within seconds her hair was being washed, as was her face. Apparently 'princesses' shouldn't look messy. She'd yelled at them that she wasn't any type of royalty, but they didn't seem to notice.

That had been her lovely first day in Lothlórien. It had simply been a bucket full of fun. Legolas was off on a nature hike (yes, those were the exact words he had used), and Aragorn was arguing with Boromir somewhere, so at least she could sleep in peace.

She yawned and closed her eyes, turning over in her bedroll.

"Look what I did! Look, look, look at me!" A bunch of flowers were shoved in her face, and she went into a short sneezing fit. Glaring up at an energetic Legolas, she sneezed once more, and then wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Emily! That is most unsanitary.

'Well, I don't have anything better to use, do I?'

Fine, then.

With a twinkling noise, a bright pink puff of clouds and sparkling confetti appeared in her lap. Once the puff dissipated, she was left with a box of Kleenex.

'Um… thanks…'

She blew her nose, crumpled up the Kleenex and then tossed it away. An elf quickly ran over and picked it up and put it in a sparkly pink trash bag, which then promptly disappeared.

"Emily! You're not looking at me! I want attention!"

"What the hell is it?" She glared up at Legolas.

"Hi," he smiled, waved, and then pranced off.

"Good lord…" She pulled the bedroll over her head and quickly fell asleep.

-

"Wake up," was all that she got before the soft kick in the side.

"Oww…" she said, getting to her feet.

"You hurt her!" Legolas and Aragorn both yelled before tackling down the poor soul who'd tried to wake her up. She couldn't see who it was.

It's just a bit character. He's in this scene so that Aragorn and Legolas can prove their love for you.

'Oh…' She walked away, leaving the two to continue attacking whoever-it-was.

"Emily," Galadriel said, "come here and eat breakfast with us." She handed Emily a piece of Lembas.

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't eat any normal food around here?"

"Yes."

"You only eat this stuff?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"That's a lie… a dirty, rotten lie."

"Well, eat up. You only get one of grandma's secret recipe cookies if you eat your entire meal."

"Where would you get cookie ingredients if you didn't eat anything besides this?" Emily asked.

"Uh… magic."

"Magic?"

"Yes, elf magic."

"Elf magic?"

"Yes."

"Right…"

"Now, eat up your lumps bread."

"My what?"

"Lumps bread, it's the food that you're eating for breakfast." Galadriel smiled and gave her a pat on the head. "Kids can be so funny." She patted her head again, laughing. Emily visibly twitched.

"Emily," Legolas said. "We must leave quickly, please, eat your breakfast."

"You know what? Let's get going. I think I've lost my appetite after having to look at you." She got to her feet, handed him the bread and walked over to the water.

"Burn!" shouted Aragorn, pointing at Legolas. "I told you that she likes me."

-

As they all walked towards the boats, elves gathered to cry. One had a picket sign reading: "We Will Miss You, Emily!"

"I have to get the hell out of here." Emily muttered to herself, clenching her fists. Once they reached the bank of the river, a cloak was dropped around her shoulders.

Yeah, we're just going to skip this scene… it's kinda boring, if you get what I mean. Anyways, you get a lovely care package.

'What?'

Your gift is a care package. Like, cookies, hot chocolate, and other stuff. It's all wrapped up all pretty in a basket for you.

'Oh wow. I can barely contain my excitement…'

Hey! Be gratefull to your grandma. Geez, you're so horrible sometimes.

There was a quick flash of white light, and the next thing Emily knew she was in a boat, over the river Anduin.

Emily pulled the cloak that had appeared around her shoulders tighter. She wondered if it would have been better to have mentioned the fact that she got seasick before getting on the boat.