Reality Sinks In-Part Five
Notes: Sorry for the long break, but I forget to post a lot during the summer when I'm really busy. During the year it'll be a lot better and I'll submit more regular. This chapter picks pretty much where we left off. Clark has ran from his home after discovering the news about his father's decision. He's gone somewhere to make sense of it all. Here it goes.
Lana waited for the lawyer to leave before she got in her car and set out to search for Clark. Martha had gone straight to her room after the lawyer left and locked the door. Lana needed to find Clark and find out what happened. She almost had convinced herself to ease drop, but in the end her conscience won that battle and she remained in Clark's room until she heard him slam the door downstairs and watched him drive away. Lana got in her car and started searching every possible place that her boyfriend could be. She went to the cave first and found no Clark. She then went to the school, to Chloe's house, Pete's house, and then to the Talon. All these places had no sign of Clark. As it started to get dark, she got back in her car in front of the Talon and closed her eyes and it just came to her. The last time she felt free was when her and Clark had climbed the tower in Chandler's field. That was where he was. She drove as fast as she could and ran into the field with her flashlight. When she came to the field, she had a wave of relief as she saw his legs dangling from the tower.
Lana startled Clark from his deep thought as he heard her shoes clank as she climbed the ladder. Clark lent her his hand as she pulled herself onto the platform. "It's a very stupid question but, hiding?"Lana asked. Clark only nodded. Lana began to shiver in the night air because she was only wearing a tank top. Clark noticed this and immediately took off his jacket and put around her shoulders. "Thank-you,"Lana said. She noticed Clark was holding a piece of paper in his hand. "It's totally okay if you don't want to talk about it, but what happened downstairs?"She asked. "I thought you would've ease dropped,"Clark said staring off into the field. "The thought crossed my mind believe me, but you guys deserved privacy,"Lana said looking down at the ground that was so far away. The orange light still only barely lit the sky and was being overwhelmed by the purple in the sky. On any other occasion this would be a great spot for a date. "The lawyer . . .said that my dad made me legally responsible for his medical decisions and in this case . . . that means whether to leave the machine on or . . .not,"Clark's said with a weak voice. "Why? Why would he do that?"Lana asked confused. "It's supposed to be in this letter. Along with instructions about what I'm supposed to do. I can't open it,"Clark said. Lana was at a loss for words. This didn't fit. It didn't seem right and she somehow knew that was exactly what Clark was feeling. She knew the doctors were encouraging them to shut the machine that kept Jonathon alive off and she knew they would be in debt for a very long time if he stayed on it. Clark was now the one in control of another life. "Would you do me a favor?"Clark asked. "Anything. I'll do anything for you,"Lana replied holding back the tears. "Read it to me . . .please,"Clark said handing her the envelope. She turned on her flashlight and pointed it to the paper.
She read to him:
Dear Clark,
If you're reading this then I'm laying in a hospital bed and incapable of making whatever choices are going to have to be made about my life. Before I get to my wishes I want you to remember that I love you son and I always will.
Clark let his tears stream down his face while Lana read the letter.
The one personal wish I have for you is that you do not blame yourself for my condition. That is the only way I could ever be disappointed in you. You are the best son a man could ask for and you are gift from God. I cherished everyday I had to get up in the morning and spend it with you and your mother. I have no regrets. Listen to me son. I have no regrets about the decisions I had to make. There wasn't one day that I've regretted you coming to us. I want you to always use your gifts for good and helping people like you always have. Don't change that. I want you to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with and enjoy what I found with your mother. You choose your destiny and what choices you make. Your parents, your friends, and your race cannot choose these decisions for you. I'm sorry that I won't be there for the good times to come. I know there will be many. I want you to know that if you are blessed to be married and have children, I'll be there with you always. I'll watch over you and smile at how my son has made me so proud. I've entrusted you with these critical decisions because I trust you son and I know that you will do what I ask of you because it's how I raised you. I know your mother will not understand and will be adamant about changing your mind or preventing you from making these choices, but with time she will understand. Give her time to understand, no matter what and she'll come to you. This is why I didn't choose her. I know she would sell herself and everything she had to keep me alive in some hospital bed. This is not living son. I lived my life an active man and there's no use prolonging an inevitable outcome. If it comes to pass that I'm not able to live or make these decisions on my own and I'm laying in bed hooked to a machine or something like this I don't want my life to prolonged. If I cannto live on my own and function I don't want to at all. Son, I need you to be strong for me and let me go. Remember always, especially in the happy times. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty for making this decision that I'm asking you to make. If I thought you couldn't handle this I wouldn't have let you. Don't fail me son.. Also, don't take your friends for granted. I want you to promise me that you will protect your secret but you will make yourself happy because life goes to fast. I don't know how long you will exist but I do know you will have a great existence. I want you to always be there for your mother if she will let you. Take care of her for me and remind I will love her forever. Take care son. I love you.
Dad
As Lana set the letter down and wiped her eyes she put her arm around his back. He let himself lean into her shoulder and though she tried to be strong she ended up crying into his t-shirt. Since she had never knew her father, in the past few years Mr. Kent had seemed like the next best thing as someone to look up to. These days any pain that Clark felt, she shared in. Her heart started to ache in that moment and she felt more emptier than she had ever felt. She couldn't imagine how Clark felt. The next 24 hours would be the hardest of his life and possibly her own.