Harry really loved having a good conversation with someone. That was what he lived for. He loved talking to someone who could talk to with him about his life, about books, about movies, about whatever. He wanted to be allowed to be smart and still fun. He loved the connection he felt when he would say something and a spark of recognition would light up the person's eyes and he would see them practically bursting with another idea to add or their own story to share. He was always amazed by how he and someone else could read the same book and take such different things from it or when he and someone else took the same things from the book and they would talk about it, each expanding on what the other had to say. He loved making a comment and getting an "exactly" or "that's how I felt" in response. It was one thing to talk about these things in class where people were forced to talk so they could get a good grade. It was interesting enough, but it lacked the passion of a heated conversation between two people interested in the same things.

He didn't often get to experience that though. He wasn't sure if he was maturer than his friends were of if he just didn't connect with them or what. The thing was that he knew Hermione was smart and that he could have discussed books and such with her, but something held him back. He guessed that it was his suspicion that she wasn't coming from the same place he was and that for all her moments of rule breaking, she was much too accepting of what she was told. He also guessed that when they were reading they paid attention to different things. He didn't know how to express it really, but he felt like Hermione read more to learn than to enjoy like it was the learning part of reading she enjoyed, not the reading itself.

Ron was, of course, all wizard which made things a lot more difficult. Even though his dad was fascinated by muggles, Ron knew very little about their culture. Harry also saw that Ron didn't read that much and when he did, he didn't pay attention to anything besides the story. He didn't revel in the mechanics or the language. He didn't understand how one word could change an entire sentence. True, it wasn't that books were the only things to talk about, but it was something Harry focused on.

Still, they were his friends, even if he had chosen them when he was eleven.

Harry fell into bed that night and tried to suppress the urge to vomit. He felt like shit. He'd had fun at the party, no question about it. He'd talked and danced. He loved the loud music that surrounded him and the anonymity of the crowd. He had truly had fun, but now he was paying for it. The mixture of heat, chocolate, cigarettes, and caffeine was now making him exhausted and sick. His head ached slightly and his stomach was churning. He was going to need a lot of sleep to survive all the shit he'd done. He knew he'd do it again. What could he say? He was an idiot, a masochistic, hedonistic idiot. He rubbed his nose tiredly and nearly threw up. His fingers smelt of cigarettes. He hated that.

He hadn't even gotten to talk to Draco. He'd watched the blonde surreptitiously all night, but never gotten to speak to him. He had wanted to so much that he'd almost asked the boy to dance, but something held him back. He had decided to leave soon after that, not knowing that had he stayed five more minutes, Draco would have approached him.

He couldn't believe it, he'd left the castle to try and find some peace. He'd even decided against flying on the quidditch pitch because hew as likely to run into someone. But now, circling the school, a few feet below the wards, just like Harry, was Malfoy, the last person Harry wanted to see given his current state of confusion over the boy.

Harry had a moment to watch the blonde before he was seen and in that moment he saw something amazing. He saw Draco smiling, not smirking, but actually smiling like he was thinking of some old, pleasant memory.

"Potter!"

Harry was pulled out of his reverie to find that he had been flying toward the wall of the Astronomy tower. He turned around to face Malfoy, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I thought you could fly."

"I can."

"Don't tell me you were trying to think and fly at the same time."

Harry blushed.

"Seems you had a good time last night."

"Very. It took a while to recover though."

"Well of course. The amount of time it takes to recover is directly proportional to how good the party was."

"Too bad you weren't there to tell my head this morning."

Draco snorted.

"Anyway, why are you out here?"

"What does it look like?"

"I mean, why not use the quidditch pitch?"

"Same reason you aren't there, I imagine."

Harry nodded.

"You left early."

"What? Oh, yeah, well…"

"Why?"

Harry shrugged.

"You could have come over to speak to me you know. I mean I put your name on the list."

"What? Malfoy, you hate me. I figured you wouldn't want anyone to know that we have spent moments approaching friendly together. Besides, in case you've forgotten, I'm Harry Potter, the boy who lives to be hated by Slytherins. If they hadn't been drunk, I would have been out of there faster than you can say quidditch. I'm surprised you even risked associating your name with mine when you put it on the list."

"Get over yourself, Potter. Slytherins couldn't care less that you are at those parties, as long as you fit in during them. And no one knows that I put you on the list. And, even if they did, I couldn't give a fuck. It's my prerogative and I will do what the hell I want."

"Look, Malfoy, I'm sorry if I offended you. For perhaps, the first time, that wasn't my intention. I'm just confused."

"About?"

"Give it a rest. We don't talk. Thanks for the party invite and all."

Harry turned and began to fly away.

"Potter!"

"What," Harry called over his shoulder.

"Would you stop for a second?"

Harry stopped abruptly and whirled around.

"What?"

"I don't know what's going on in your head to make you so moody, but let me explain a little. I'm on your side."

Harry's eyes widened.

"You mean?"

Draco rolled up his sleeve and showed Harry his bare, unmarked skin.

"And I plan on it staying that way. I think you should understand me a little better now. I'm confused too. I don't know what I'm doing or what's going on and I figure the only person who can give me some real answers to my questions is you."

Harry sighed and Draco watched as the expression on his face changed. It was as if a new person had emerged, a person with the weight of the world, or millions of lives, on their shoulders.

"I think we'd better go somewhere we can talk. I don't exactly feel like flying for as long as I'm sure this conversation is going to take."

Harry flew off and Draco followed.

Fifteen minutes later, Harry had taken Draco to the room of requirement. They were settled down in deep armchairs accompanied by cups of tea and ashtrays.

"Comfortable chairs, caffeine and cigarettes, anything else we need?" Draco asked.

"I've got a few headache potions in my bag so I think we're set."

"You think it's going to be that bad? Talking to me?"

"No. Oh! I forgot something."

Harry pulled out a quick notes quill.

"Don't worry this one is accurate. I thought you'd probably want a chance to go over this later so this will take notes for you. Anyway, can we just start without a prologue? Just ask me what you want and I'll answer what I can."

"Thanks, professor."

"Shut up."

"Ok. Why?"

"Why?"

"Why you? Why not Voldemort? Why is what I'm doing right?"

"Voldemort kills, that's why you shouldn't choose him. He doesn't just kill Muggles. He kills everyone. He kills muggles, half-bloods, pure-bloods, his supporters, everyone. He doesn't discriminate. If you don't do exactly what he wants, you die. If it serves his purpose you die. That's why you shouldn't join him. It's your life. You shouldn't give it up so easily. Who knows if its right? He could be right. Centuries from now magic might not exist, but are you willing to have thousands of lives on your conscience just to save magic. Really, if you think about it though, magic isn't going to die. There will still be those who marry within the community. There will still be Muggles born with magic. Either way, it's not up to us to say who can learn magic and who can't. I can't say you're right. I think you are. There are many others who do and there are many who don't, but it's up to you."

Harry picked up his tea and sat sipping it. He pushed himself further into the chair, covering himself with a blanket. Draco waited, but Harry didn't start talking again. In fact, he appeared to be falling asleep. Watching him, Draco realized that Harry had been looking a bit worn and pale.

"Harry? Harry?"

"What? Oh, sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"I've been a bit tired recently. I think I'm getting sick. Anyway, where were we?"

"Why you?"

"You think I know? I don't."

"What about the prophecy?"

"I shouldn't be surprised you know about that. I wonder that sometimes. If Voldemort hadn't heard some of that prophecy would I be famous or would I still have parents? Do prophecies come true because people believe them or are they real? That's a whole other debate."

"What's going on now? What are you doing to stop him?"

Harry laughed bitterly.

"You think they tell? They seem to think that if they tell me, I'll go off and try and end this all myself."

"Would you?"

"Probably. Anyway, I only know he's trying to get more supporters. He's moving around. He's random. He's not making plans and he's not sending messages. Our spies aren't able to warn us because he only gives orders that go in effect immediately."

"Spies?"

"Yes, we have some."

"Who?"

"Do you think I'm going to answer that?"

"No."

"Ok then. What else?"

"I don't know. Give me a minute."

"Ok."

Harry leaned back and closed his eyes, sipping tea as he did so. Draco watched him, a little worried.

He was still watching him when said boy fell asleep and dropped his empty mug in his lap. Draco got up and put the mug on the table. He pulled the blanket up around Harry and went back to his own chair where he sat keeping watch over Harry, not realizing that that was what he was doing. Eventually, he too fell asleep.