Title: Goodbye, Mr. Grissom - Chapter 5
Disclaimer: These guys don't belong to me. "Be Yourself" is performed by Audioslave.
Spoilers: Conversation between Nick and Grissom from Eleven Angry Jurors, the letter from No More Bets, Sara's line to Nick from Crate 'n Burial.
Nick Stokes paused in his journey through the lab corridors. Peering in the lab where Greg was helping Jacqui, he noted the slumped shoulders and knew guilt lay heavily there. None of this was Greg's fault; but, how to get him to understand that?
Was it only this morning………
"Hey, Guys." You greeted as you returned to the break room a couple of hours after you and Warrick left to log in the evidence. Sara and Jacqui had gone. Archie sat huddled with Greg. Warrick had also left but you weren't all that sleepy and the idea of going home to sit around and remember didn't appeal. So, you decided to get a cup of coffee and get to work on the case, something Grissom would approve of. "Ironic." you thought. "Here I am, still seeking his approval."
You know you no longer require his approval but you've learned some of the most valuable lessons in your life from him. The biggest and hardest was to just stand on your own and be yourself. Drifting back through the memories, you remember the case. The one you investigated with Grissom, initially. He closed it because the physical evidence indicated the woman had just left town.
Someone falls to pieces
Sleepin' all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Her sister came forward two years later demanding the case be reopened. Eventually, you followed the evidence back to her. She killed her own sister then tried to frame her former lover for her murder. It seems he preferred the youngest sister and was planning to marry her.
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
When you went to update Grissom, you were angry and defensive because it was your empathy that led you to the correct killer. Grissom and all his preaching about objectivity had allowed the killer to go free until her jealousy caused her to force her own hand. Was he wrong? No, he had followed protocol. He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't right, or should the word be righteous? Yeah, righteous was the word to use. You can still hear the words you spoke ringing in your head.
"So what? You know, I'm always getting criticized for empathizing with the victims and their families, but that's who I am. That's how I do my job. And as far as the promotion goes, it's all good, Man. I can live without it. I'm not you."
"Good. We certainly don't need another me around here." He'd said it stone-faced, barely glancing up at you, in reply to your indignant outburst. You walked out, certain you'd just blown any chance of getting the key position you and Sara were competing for. You wanted him to say, "It's okay. I used to be just like you." But, he didn't.
Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only fame
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside their selfish brain
It wasn't until months later, when you sat reading the letter that you realized the only way to really obtain his approval was to not strive for it. He had recommended you, not Sara. The whole time, you told yourself there was no way you would win against his protégé. But, you weren't going to just give it to her and not even apply. Apparently, Grissom wasn't as blind to her faults as you thought. Or, was it from listening to all Sara's talk? She certainly thought she was more special to him than anyone else. From the very beginning, she took every opportunity to remind you. "Who did Grissom hand pick to work here?"
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?
Thinking about it now, you realized you were all hand picked by Grissom, probably with a little nudging from Catherine. They picked you, then Warrick, and now Greg from the lab to train as CSIs.
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
It seemed like it was just a few days ago when Grissom offered you the opportunity to become a CSI. You came into work and Catherine told you Grissom wanted to see you. She bestowed a dazzling smile on you as she pushed you toward his office.
"Gris? You wanted to see me?" You hesitantly asked, still a little afraid of entering his office.
"Nicky, my boy! How are you?" He greeted but kept his eyes trained at the microscope in front of him. He looked so young, back then - too young for the reputation that preceded him. You wonder where his youth and that infectious enthusiasm went.
"Fine."
"Catherine tells me you were a big help on the Spurlock case and you really seemed to enjoy getting out in the field."
"Yeah, it was great." You shifted from one foot to the other, waiting for him to get to the point.
"I'll be with you in just a second, just gotta make a couple of quick notes here." While he scrawled his observations in a notebook, you surveyed the room.
"New experiment?" You questioned, after a moment, gesturing to the one-liter beaker sitting atop a tripod with a Fisher burner hissing beneath it. Off-white masses were roiling in clear liquid.
"Ah, no. Dinner." He replied, glancing up. "Macaroni and cheese."
"It's a brand new beaker and I washed it." He justified, fully catching your skeptical look.
"Oh, okay."
"I think it's about done." He shut the gas off to the burner. "So, would you be interested in more field work?"
"Definitely!"
"Enough to want to be a CSI?"
"Yes."
"It means a pay cut."
"Doesn't matter to me."
"Congratulations! You start on Monday." He grinned and Nick could still see his blue eyes, dancing merrily behind the lens of his glasses.
And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose
But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
"Nick?" Returning from reverie, you realized Archie was trying to get your attention.
"Yes."
"Help me? He doesn't need to just sit here. I can't get him to go home."
"Come on, Greg. We're going to breakfast." You spoke with an authority you didn't know you possessed. To your surprise, he stood and shuffled out the door. Although food at a noisy diner was the last thing you were interested in, you shrugged and told Archie. "Let's go."
Two hours later, your pager went off. Archie's joined less than a minute later. The two of you stared at each other in astonishment at the message from Catherine. Greg's pager remained stubbornly silent and you remember the hurt look haunting his eyes.
"Greg, the boss needs us. You've chased those eggs around your plate long enough."
"She didn't page me." Huge puddles of tears had formed, threatening to spill down his cheeks.
"I'm sure it's just a glitch. Cath thinks the world of you. I'm sure she wants you there." You weren't sure of your words; Catherine had changed since being promoted.
But fortune smiled on you all, the Catherine of old - tough, determined and collected, greeted your return to the lab. She immediately took custody of Greg, keeping him close by, lest he should falter. You knew she must have backed the Sheriff into a corner and refused to take no for an answer. Had the circumstances been different, you would have rejoiced out loud. 'The Team' was back together but the joy of being reunited was short-lived because the missing patriarch was the sole reason you were all back together.
TBC