Title: PROBLEM NO. 1 by darktsuzukiasato

Genre: Romance/Humor

Characters: Kakashi/Iruka, Sasuke/Naruto

Rating: PG for words

Status: polly more chapters to come

Comments: Iruka had stalkers and spouse wannabees, then he met naruto and their numbers dispersed, until naruto met sasuke, and then it starts…

Disclaimer: if they were mine, the only missions they'll have are imitating bunnies and their sx drives

Prologue

Ever since Umino Iruka found out that his Naruto was steadily dating Konoha's Number One Rookie, he's been living his life in constant paranoia. You would think his state of mind was the most normal and stable as the qualities for a shinobi's normal and stable mind should be, however, behind the smiles and the blushes lays a restless soul. Iruka just can't seem to relax. Constantly looking behind his back stealthily, walking as silently as he could to listen for any sound of another's footsteps following him, and making sure he gets home after work at exactly 8 o'clock pm. At home, he's no different. He quickly locks the door (doesn't leave said door without at least checking it twice), checks every room in his apartment for any signs of intrusion, and letting the curtains of each room fully cover the window. One would think the highly respected academy teacher has lost his mind. But one doesn't know that there is a reason behind all these. And one can't guess that the one that contributed the largest to his fear would be the one that would help him get through it.

It all started when Naruto was first acknowledged by Iruka. "The Mizuki incident" was one of the most mind-boggling events in the village as it was famous for Naruto's graduation and abandonment of his prankster days. Well, at least the pranks he used to do to get attention (read: involves vandalizing of hokage monument, stink bombs and paint traps in various areas, especially in the academy, etc.). It had been mind boggling for the townsfolk that their favorite academy teacher, the same gentle (except when enraged), kind (except when enraged), and patient (except when enraged) shinobi they've ever met, started hanging around the demon child. What's worse, letting the abomination squeeze the life out of him in those bear hugs (in public even), and actually spending his time and money to the kid (all those ramen nights has not gone unnoticed to the villagers). But as the man was Iruka, the… read description above, Iruka… they started to wonder if his judgment around Naruto was right and that they, themselves, should start treating the boy with a little bit more kindness.

The same effect could be said about the shinobis of the village. They of course, knowing Iruka's reputation, were also beginning to show a sort of acknowledgement for the kyuubi no gaki (but not as much that the boy would realize so soon, they would also want him to work for it). Their logic?… Who the hell were they to question the actions of Iruka? The gentle (except when someone dares to pull a prank on him, especially his students… or if someone makes fun of his mother-hen tendencies), kind (except when certain jounins and chuunins fail to submit their report on time… or someone messes with his paperwork), and patient (except when die-hard, stubborn, perverted jounins, sannins or naruto would start pestering him with porn jokes or otherwise… or if the hokage escapes from her paperwork duties to satisfy her gambling and drinking needs), Iruka. With this state of thinking, again, who the hell were they to question Iruka?

Iruka's rather fearful rage tendencies, plus his extremely kind aura, multiplied by him being the first to actually reach out to the demon child, equals to his charms and respect gauge amongst shinobis go up a couple of more notches. Officially making him Konoha's number one, most popular bachelor. His rankings almost exceeding the one's of the fourth hokage, the legendary bachelor! Mothers and fathers from different families (with or without blood limit) would push their only too happy daughters (with permanent hearts for eyes) and some sons (with permanent drool on their jaws) to the said bachelor. But Iruka would not have any of them. Fellow teachers and a number of chuunins/jounins also tried to get to the young man's heart, only to be turned down. But did any of these stop the "Umino, (insert first name here)" wannabes? Oh no… This only triggered for them to try harder…. (to the teacher's dismay).

Going back, as Naruto finally graduated, Iruka and the boy were inseparable; it even came to the point wherein they would spend the night in each other's houses, sometimes if they fail to eat ramen together either because of a mission (Naruto) or too much work (Iruka). Even as Iruka's fans (read: they refuse to make a fans club because of the intense competition amongst themselves as to who Iruka would want, and therefore would result in a silent war between individuals and their promise of a most horrific death to everyone else in the unformulated club), were showing Naruto a pinch of kindness, ergo no ill talk about him when he could hear it, they still couldn't bring themselves to completely be comfortable with the boy. Especially as said boy would attach himself like a belt on their Iruka's pretty little waist. So while Naruto was around the academy teacher, the whole Konoha would lessen their drooling and stalking to the teacher.

Unbeknownst to them, Iruka was well aware of their infatuation for him, and thankful that Naruto was around to scare off his nocturnal stalkers. Naruto, in return was only to happy to scream not so bashful words at anyone who dare approach his father-figure with a not so innocent motive in mind.

Every passing day seemed to be going well for the chuunin, and Naruto couldn't be more content in finishing the day's task and telling every detail to his former sensei over ramen. Beginning with gushing over his pink-haired crush, which in turn ignores him for her stoic crush, which in turn ignores her to annoy the blond loud-mouth, who in turn insults stoic boy just to receive a smack on the head by pink haired girl. And process repeats until their lazy, late-ass, porn-reading liar of a teacher arrives in a cloud of smoke no less than at least three hours late every day.

Definitely, Iruka couldn't be happier… until stoic boy, ice-prince Sasuke confessed his adoration for the dead-last. And Naruto, only too happy to finally have someone be in love with him, even if it is his rival-- learned to fall for the Uchiha heir through the time spent together in both trainings and mission. Eventually they started dating, which became more and more frequent. To Iruka's dismay however, Naruto didn't tell him anything about his relationship with the other boy. He feared that Iruka would not approve of Sasuke as they are both boys. Still, on Iruka's part, he decided to turn a blind eye to the nights when he would wander off to Ichiraku only to find the two boys in another establishment… together… and… looking like … a … couple… Yes, a blind eye was the best choice in his mind. Because on his part, if the two boys announced that they were a couple, his not so far fans would start swarming over back to him… tenfold…

To his shame, there were nights wherein his selfish side would start formulating plots to separate the two boys, but his love for Naruto's happiness would never let him do any of those "perfect plans".

He learned to adjust to his favorite student's seldom visits, as long as he made sure that his paranoia plus his shinobi skills were there to protect him from those "used-to-be-deprived-now-turned-obsessed-fans". Then everything was now conditioned to him and for three months of this, he felt content again. No one has entered his house yet, someone tried to hit on him in broad daylight but was saved by his other fans by beating the shit out of that person, and most of all, his Naruto was happy with Sasuke. Everything seemed to be back to normal again…..

Until…