Hey ppls I'm back again. Same disclaimer applies as in the other chapters...you get the point. Now thank you everyone for reviews and KEEP DOING SO! I feel sad without reviews...it means I'm doing a bad job weeps anyways onward!

Don't wake me just yet

I want to dream a little more

I want to feel a little more

I want to be.

Anonymous

She was floating, flying, spinning. The world was her room in which she wasn't an occupant, she was too far to come back down. It was faultless. Sanity and insanity had melded into one perfect universe where there were no boundaries, no authority, nothing but the ultimate liberty. There was nothing surrounding her, yet there was everything, it was addicting. A feeling of unadulterated euphoria became her body, her mind, it became her. The sounds, the sights, the smell, the taste they were both amplified and slurred, and with blurred swoosh it all ended. Worlds crumbled, and perfection was destroyed. She enjoyed this part, roaring back to reality, the ground meeting, greeting, wrapping around her body shivers of pleasure and pain contorting her into a hideous but elegant distorted figure. This feeling was even better than the first. This feeling surpassed all the others of this process, it was glorious. There was a distinct buzzing running through her head, a dizziness that intensified the simplest whisper of breath. Her breath. It had disappeared, because this feeling had left her breathless.

She heard the footsteps first, then the muffled voices. Something told her that a conflict was following those sounds, but she didn't care, she couldn't care, because she was drifting now. On the border between one broken world and the next and they were fighting battling seeing who would win, who would command for a time. When they burst into her sanctuary they expected complaints, protests, and they got them, however they were half-hearted coming out only as petty whines. It was controlling her now, demanding her attention and she listened, then she followed. The angry voices were to far away to be heard…

—————————————————————————————————————

Yukari Uchida disliked many things: relish, Minnie Mouse, sports, grape juice. However Wednesday's she abhorred, because Wednesday's were the days when she had to tutor that idiotic male. She shuddered. He was so vile, so disgusting, that her stomach threatened to remove all of its healthy contents. The truth was she was afraid of him, the way he his slithered into her parents mind as a trustworthy character, the way he was physically clean but underneath that sparkling exterior lied something so sickening it oozed through his pores giving him a revolting sort of aura.

This he. that stood in front of her, was named Amano Nakano. She was his tutor. He gave her his trademark grin it would cause any other girl to swoon, but she knew that grin, it was oily, rehearsed and with that grin his mind had already started undressing her. Sex crazed bastard. Now let me say that he had yet to literally touch her in a physical sense, but he had touched her, raped her mentally. There was so much innuendo and filth that came out of his mouth curling around her making her feel dirty thus she would run home and take a shower, vainly trying to scrub away his words from her skin, from her mind.

She tolerated the grin, grinded her teeth and said told him about the weather. He didn't want to know about the weather, he wanted to get straight to work, and they busied themselves with math equations while Amano's blue socked feet ran absent-minded patterns across Yukari's calf. She held her tongue, refraining from insulting him; it would probably make his hormones even crazier, something she didn't want. So instead she moved up to get herself a coke from his fridge, he told her to never ask for anything just go and get it. Life was simpler if he wasn't obligated to be a gentleman apparently. 'Why did half of the female population have lust filled dreams about this pig?' She wondered vaguely as she heard the popping hiss of the can being opened.

He asked her to come back then, he had a question to ask so she would have to be true to her duty and answer. Tucking her navy coloured school kilt beneath her and crossing her coveted legs she began to explain the steps in figuring out a "complicated" trigonometry question. He leaned closer to her as she talked, therefore, thinking to preserve her innocence she shifted her body so that her head was closest thing to him, but it didn't matter, she still could feel him. The nearness was bordering unbearable and she could feel her voice shake in the midst of her explanation, but she refused to clear it, it would have been a sign of her weakness. He might think she was attracted to him.

He had been watching the paper for a while the, without warning he turned to face her, ginger coloured eyes piercing her skin. She felt it before she saw it. "What's wrong?" she inquired, eyebrows furrowed.

"You're beautiful, did you know that?"

This was a shock, 'It was nice to be called…,' wait a second where had that thought come form? He said that same line to every girl, her mind wouldn't be confused so easily, "Excuse me?"

"I said you're beautiful, and I'll tell you why: you've resisted every advance, every flirtatious pass I've ever made at you," he clarified.

It was a simple case of wanting what you couldn't have, men where so predictable sometimes. "You think I'm beautiful because I'm not attracted to you?" she asked not the least bit of astonishment ringing through her tone. He wanted that, he was expecting that. She'd never give him what he wanted.

"Yes and I promise you I won't say anything dirty if we can just be friends," he informed her smirking. There was something different about it; it was playful, friendly, genuine.

Pick. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Pick! Time was a-ticking and she had to make a decision. To trust or not to trust, that was the question. Well… "Okay, friends, nothing more or nothing less," she agreed warily. And she noticed his shoulders relax and that aura seemed to slither itself away.

——————————————————————————————————————

I'll be coming home

Just to be alone

Cause I know that you're not there

And I know that you don't care

That was day that everything fell and life got harder. Her parents stopped understanding, and they started yelling, started pushing, and started gripping. She was going to strangled if she didn't find some way out, an escape, freedom. That's when they started, the addictions, and she never wanted to stop. They were too wonderful all the experiences they brought with them. It was relaxing after hearing her parents whine and complain about this or that. Satisfaction was difficult to come by these days, and it seems that her parents knew this and therefore proceeded in pushing her harder and harder. With more force every time. They were threatening and screeching and on and on the voices went. They pressed on with this ridiculous method thinking that if they screamed loud enough their voices would be constantly berating her, until that shriek was imprinted eternally in her mind. Oh it was but that didn't stop her it drove her, the propelling force behind her actions, she needed to leave the boundaries of her mind and explore the surreal world around her, if they didn't squeal like mad sows she would have never discovered what a great world was in ones imagination. God bless their greedy, unsatisfied hearts.

No matter how hard I try

You're never satisfied

This is not a home

I think I'm better off alone

They were going to back soon, so she fed herself her delightful poison again—such a appealing thing it was—and turned the on her radio and the pounding music poured violently into the house, satiating every corner ever crease from the eerie quiet that filled it emptily before. Her world extended beyond infinity and existed in only a tiny atom, spinning, zooming and accelerating all at once. She heard the door slam but she didn't care it just shook the air surrounding her, reverberating and carrying her farther into it's beauty. They snapped off the throbbing music but it didn't matter because by then it was the only sound she could hear. It consumed her and she devoured it, and their voices carried into her universe but it just tingled sending her body into a magnificent spasm. Holy shit. She couldn't breathe, she didn't want to breathe, she only needed to feel.

By the time you come home

I'm already stoned

You turn off the T.V

I can hardly wait

Till you get off my case

Sometime later when the superb pollutant was discarded from her body she had been caged to the confines of her room. In the immense space she heard everything echo, the rush of cars outside flooded her thoughts, and the streetlights gleamed and shone in slits through her curtain. She breathed, barely a whisper, but it seemed to fill the room with something. A longing came out with that breath, a wanton sort of need that had floated through her without her permission and without her notice. She wanted to leave. And for the first time in a year she was filled with a purpose, she felt motivated. It was energizing this thought…but wait what about all those that she was leaving behind? Wasn't this sudden departure self-centered? She thought about the friends that she had gained, or lost in the past year maybe she should…Her parents screeching voices clanged and rambled in her mind, like large church bells that announced her every sin. She grabbed her money which she was saving it should take her to her god-mother's house in Liberty. Scrambling through a few drawers she found her address book and after piling as much as she could into her duffle bag she left her house. Waiting at the bus station she vowed not to return, a new life was waiting for her in Liberty. The bus hissed to a stop and stepping onto the vehicle confidently, Yukari Uchida didn't even bother to say goodbye.

This house is not a home

I think I'm better off alone

———————————————————————————————————————

She hated it. It held a steady rhythm, a rhythm that was dripping with impatience. The thought behind dar-ra-rat, seeped through filling her mind with a foul stench, because it was insistent. Insistent in its explaining. This constant resounding noise was explaining—no bluntly stating—how generous they were being, to actually listen to her tell her story. Like she wasn't worth the time, like they had something better to. Those drumming nails were despicable. Condescending. Patronizing and she was tempted to scowl. She had been ignored long enough and therefore she needed someone to talk to, they were her only option, Chid had scampered away somewhere…Damn friends, where were they when you needed a compassionate listener? This was why she ignored these French-manicured things, and those rolling eyes, all they held was ice.

But she smiled in spite of them, flashing her somewhat pearly whites, she did have her dignity, and she refused to let these plasticized beings have the satisfaction of knowing they had annoyed her. Never be weak, weakness meant that they would win. She would lose; she was determined not to lose to these dim-witted ladies that had become a frosted society. So then why was she still here? If she cared so little about their opinion why was she sitting there babbling on and on about something they had no idea about and therefore didn't care? Because there was no one else… No one else who she would allow to know, Van couldn't know because he was the problem.

She had been pining away for him a little over two months and somehow their relationship had morphed itself into brother and sister, a deep friendship that had grown into an intense connection. She felt as if they had become integrated, synchronized with each others beings. Normally she would have relished in that fact, but this bonding on his part had been purely platonic, it was pure, crystallized, and virgin. Just like his burdened heart, oh sure she knew that he wasn't perfect he was a bit (very) anti-social, distant, and well just detached with most people—Hitomi in particular—but with her there was some internal warmth that exuded through it made the hard lines, the one caused by the constant brooding frown that ornamented his face, seem softer almost elegant. Like for a moment he wasn't just a splintering piece of glass that would cut you in a second and so transparent you couldn't tell if he was truly there or not, he became layered, an opaque solid substance that had an unimaginable depth. The ocean, cream, a warm bowl of chocolate sauce, that's it he transformed into some infinite liquid that saw only sunshine and he glowed. But only for moment, as soon as anyone that wasn't her decided to drop by he was that piece of glass again. It was amazing really, how quickly the alteration took place, it was practically visible though, she could see that impassable wall rectified itself and BAM; he was Van the thing, not Van the human being. Then again she could be reading way too much into his emotions.

She wished she had the courage to tell him where he was placed in her mind. But no, she was too feeble to do that, too cowardly, and she sighed a little at that thought. No matter how much she would try, she would always be too weak.

In the middle of her speech she just got up and left. It was slightly surprising to those seated at the table, and they possessed the insolence to ask her where she was going, like they had been listening all along, as if they would have noticed her if she hadn't moved. She just replied with a shrug and told them that she had to go to the library for some reason or another, she'd be back. 'Yeah,' she thought idly as she began to walk away, 'like they wanted me to stay. I'm just a bother, no they're just a bother.'

Without she came face to face with large deep blue depths like her own, and short platinum blonde hair spilled over to cover them. "Oh sorry," she murmured in surprise, then her eyes squinted didn't she know this girl, she looked dimly familiar. "Um, I'm do I know you from somewhere?" it was weird but this girl was giving her a weird case of déjà vu.

"What?" the eyes looked down, they were absent and broken, and for some reason Merle felt a well of sympathy for their possessor. It was weird, but there was just something so lonely about them, it nearly made her cry. "Oh I'm sorry, uh no, I don't thi―"

"Celena! Hey Celena!" called a familiar voice interrupting the girl's speech. Merle turned, but already knew who it was, on occasion Hitomi was the person she'd talk to while waiting for Van at his locker, since Van attempted to be a mute around the girl. She couldn't understand what was so horrible about her; she was one of the kindest and without a doubt most decent people she'd ever met. It was impossible not to like her, albeit her prudish or bookish ways and unimaginable curiosity made it somewhat difficult, she was a great person, and besides everyone has character flaws.

"Oh hi Merle, how are you?" despite the somewhat frosty countenance she was a very cheerful girl. And then her face dropped upon seeing Celena, "'Lena is everything alright?" the young woman inquired, worry present in her voice, Celena had always had this sort of despondent atmosphere around her, but today it was tangible: you could smell it, you could taste it, you could see it. It was disgusting, and Hitomi wanted to wash it away.

Celena smiled it didn't do anything to that God-forsaken aura that had wrapped itself around her, in fact it seemed to get worse. "Me? Yeah I'm fine I just blanked out there for a second, sorry 'bout that. So what were you calling me for?"

"Nothing…never mind it's okay, do you wanna got get lunch?" she asked it was strange actually all her determination that she had possessed just evapourated becoming one with the atmosphere surrounding them, vainly trying to pretend that it didn't—doesn't exist. Merle noticed it, like Hitomi had suddenly become uncomfortable about something, or unsure if she should press the matter of Celena's state. She blinked randomly a few times at the pair and then made some excuse about having to meet someone in the library and scuttled off. But before the other two were out of sight she glimpsed at Celena, the girl shivered and pulled the sleeves of her floral yellow sweater farther down on her arms, reaching her palms. That was odd because despite the chilly weather outside the school was quite warm. However Merle just shrugged the action off and made her way to her destination.

Journal,

Warning this is anmush filled poem but I'm feeling rather thoughtful today so I thought I might write it out, see how it looks.

Do you see me?

Oh I'm sorry I forgot I'm wearing a blindfold

You can't see me through the mirror

That is you

Have you discovered what I'm trying to hide?

That's right it's in you

You'll never find it unless you search there

Did you lose my soul?

It's alright I can thrive

If you continue to live

You breathe for me,

So I don't need this false supply I gave myself

You live for me

So I don't need to survive

Speak for me,

So I can talk to you

Read for me,

So you can understand my mind

But please don't let me die

Because I can't lose you

And I'll try to remember you

So I won't forget myself

You are me

And I am you

But can you see the truth?

It exists solely in me

The part I won't let you be

I can't let you keep it

Because I'll forget

I won't remember to tell you

How much I love

But do you know who?

Okay, it's more romantic than anything else but to tell you the truth…it's how I feel I can't explain to them that they are— you read the poem you understand. Ah who am I kidding this poem is stupid see what love does to your brain? It makes you spout nonsense on pages, well then goodbye page with foolishness on it. God I feel like such a girl. Anyways I'm ripping you out now, Sayonara!

She had no idea where it came from; it was simply lying there scrunched up in a half-made paper ball. How could someone throw away something that was blooming with potential? Where in the world was this writer, she wanted to know so that she could slap them for calling such a thing foolishness. Didn't they know that she was feeling the exact same way, that she had become a part of someone else, that they were the one who carried out her functions for her? Was her problem that universal that so many had to deal with this feeling of…of longing, just an insatiable craving for being so near barely a hairsbreadth apart yet that was more painful than the thought of there being a larger separation? That the phrase 'so close and yet so far' was just a clichéd understatement, that it went so much farther than physical being, that mentally and emotionally they possessed each other and now he was incessantly with her? It conveyed everything, every last thing she felt for the teenager named Van. And she wondered with a girlish romanticism that it was him who wrote that poem, thinking of her. Impossible though it seemed it was only a fantasy, picking up the poem she expected it carefully, hmm…the handwriting did look familiar…Brushing off the strange feeling she decided that she was going to turn the poem into a song, she'd get Lily to help with the revision, and maybe she could sing a duet with Chid.

Where was Chid anyways? That kid was always disappearing at the most inconvenient times, and she wished that she had a diary or a notebook to write things in, it would make life a whole lot easier for her. Wandering the halls she kept on searching for her friend her booted feet making an echoing thump throughout the stone walled school. Nearing his locker she heard sniffling, was Chid…crying. That notion made her laugh—inwardly—this was Chid she was talking about he had only three modes: happy, angry and irritated, so what was with all the weeping sounds that seemed to be springing from that one point, it was confusing and she began to tread softly in case whoever she pounced on wasn't Chid.

Pallid coloured hair hid the beginning of a face and the sallow coloured sweater shielded the rest. Her fingers gripped tightly to the inside of the sweater, as if it was a cocoon, a shell that could protect her from the prying world, the ones that wanted to know how she was and if she was going to be alright. She would always be fine if she stayed here, if she could just stay in this place, this haven, inside herself she'd be content. She was mumbling something to herself so quiet it was just a tremble of sound, just a petit disruption in the air waves, that its true impact was never felt. Merle wanted to know what she was saying, it would have made it easier to draw near her. Then again she probably wanted her privacy which Merle was undoubtedly going to disrupt if she approached the girl maybe she should back away. An unlikely character took the chance to show themselves, and she blinked a few times to see that she was seeing right.

Theteen had slid down beside the girl, and didn't even bother to question her about what was wrong, he just nudged her and offered his earphone which was playing a haunting tune of music to her, said something along the lines of it being soothing. Celena stared in shock at first possibly speculating about where the kindness had been spurred from in the indifferent teenager sitting beside her. He didn't even smile, not even in the slightest form, but there was something compassionate in his voice, behind his closed eyes that Celena grinned and she accepted, and for a fragment of time she looked not content or happy, simply satisfied. Satisfied by the fact that there was at least one person who cared so much that they didn't make her talk they merely offered an escape. To Merle the sight of Van being an empathetic was just so awe-inspiring that if she didn't want to ruin the comforting atmosphere between the two she would have engulfed him in one of her many bear like hugs. Even though the adolescent hated any sign of affection he returned it when it was from her, and despite how many times he tried to display how aloof he was, looking at the picture of two almost strangers sharing some music at a locker that wasn't their own displayed every bit of sweetness that he had locked up in him.

She was so ecstatic she could hug herself, or Chid who materialized out of nowhere, and turning around she ran and threw herself into him. The poor boy was nearly knocked over, and stumbling a little he hugged her back a look of pleased confusion placed on his face, "Did I do something?" he laughed.

"No, but don't trouble your mind about that hug, being your friend I am permitted to show any display of affection towards you without notification," she stated grinning, and she began to pull him along to the second level when he started to walk in the direction of his locker (which Celena and Van were 'occupying').

"Merle where are we going? I have to go to my locker," he began to protest Merle being as stubborn as she was refused to let him go, and continued to drag him up the stairs, he practically falling over himself.

"You are not going to your locker! Not until the bell rings, there is an act of sympathy being displayed there and I refuse to let you ruin it!" she informed, and Chid reluctantly surrendered, there was no use fighting her she was unbelievably determined, plus she had more perseverance and he was too free-flowing to contend with her. "Besides I have something to discuss with you, Lily as well. I have found a wonderful item that someone decided to throw away. Ridiculous people why won't they except talent when they see it?" she grunted and lamented all at once. Chid was still very lost as he was being towed along, most likely to where Lily spent her spare, on the roof. They weren't allowed to mingle there, it was strictly forbidden by the school policy since they didn't want to be responsible for the accidental death or injury of a student, but Lily was a born to be rebel. She refused to accept authority, and how she was even permitted to have a spare still amazed him.

Once again trekking up a set of stairs, then heading out to the far east corner the duo discovered that Lily wasn't there. Merle plunked herself down regardless, weighing down Chid down also. Odd really, the fact that they, throughout all of their climbing they hadn't released each other's grasp on the other, yet the action went unacknowledged by both. "Sit," she commanded, sounding very much like an aggravated mother at that moment. 'What happened to that great mood she was in earlier?' Chid huffed in his mind. He obeyed nonetheless. "Now," she started fishing something out of her skirt's many pockets, "I want you to read this creation, and tell me if it has capability of being transformed into song."

He looked at her and sighed she always did this, she was always unsure about herself and he had told her countless times that she was one of the best poets, lyricist that he had ever met, he'd have to tell her again. "Merle you know what I think about anything you write I don't―"

"Darling Chid, I didn't write it," she confessed while shoving the piece of paper in his face. Upon seeing the paper the phrase 'what the fuck?' just didn't do. But wasn't this the…oh Lord it was, how did she get this? He was panicking, Merle had probably recognized the handwriting but hopefully she couldn't place it, the words had been somewhat scrawled in flash of feeling, if he didn't know who wrote it he wouldn't have had the vaguest idea who it belonged to. This was bad, terrifyingly bad, if he said this was poem was a disgrace to the art she'd begin to argue with him, begin to discuss why it was so good. Why it held so much potential, then he'd have to listen to it, listen to her discuss her feelings, and he would listen because he was compelled to do so, he'd endure it with indomitable restraint because no matter what the disheartened poet, who wrote that piece felt, he would listen. She was more important, she always had been, and her innocently stumbling across this goddamned piece was just twisted act of fate. He already had a reckoning of who she imagined expunged this lunacy.

He'd have to leave this one for Lily to approve of this, because he couldn't, just could not… He looked down at the thing that was spiting him, he was motivated to crumple it up and burn it, but he wouldn't do that she would figure out too much for his liking if he did something so stupid.

Merle couldn't read his reaction it was too—too what? She couldn't figure it out, he was usually so clear so expressive that there was no problem in understanding what he was thinking, but now? He had a sudden changeling experience, he had become an enigma, sheltered and hidden. His face, his body expression, his eyes didn't allow his thoughts to permeate to the world where she was, they were locked like the door to his thoughts had been slammed in her face then barred so that she couldn't review them, or even speculate at what was the reason behind them. She had always loved to do that, analyze him because she too was so easy to read, and she had never learned the art of hiding what she was feeling. That's why she needed him around, there was a certain comfort in being with someone that was so much like one's self yet complete opposites. "Chid?" the voice that emitted was tentative, unsure about how to approach her dear friend.

"Huh?" she wanted to wipe that look away it was unknown, but behind it there was the indescribable, it bewildered her even more. There was something, some feeling that skulked behind that she wanted to show itself, but she only saw its shadow. Contact covered eyes squinted a little, they saw right through her, understood what was inside her, why wouldn't he let her see him? "Is there something wrong Merle?"

"No, why?" she knew he knew why, her mind was one easy to read, to understand to see.

"Merle my pearl, when you twirl your hair curls!" he spouted and puzzled look overtook her face before she laughed. He was telling her not to worry about the feeling that hid behind the door, it would be better if she didn't know, he didn't want to hurt her, to crush her dream. So never worry, just laugh, laugh away the uncertainty. "I, without a doubt, believe that that poet whoever they are is better than I am," he chuckled.

"Well, of course my dear friend, you can sing, you must not expect yourself to also be able to write. Why that's just inconceivable!" she teased, smiling at him.

"So who do you think wrote it?" he had to be sure, you see, he had to be certain that she didn't know. His mind was murdering him inside, here it comes…

A lethargic smirk graced her pretty features, "Well…" and she told him about her wish, her dream world that the true poet could never be a part of. But he wanted her to be happy, wanted her to keep smile. 'Keep smiling Merle. The world becomes a better place when you do.'

Weird. Yes that's what it was. Basically it was the oddity of the day, to see Van Fanel sharing with someone who wasn't Merle Hoshino, and his music, something had been forbidden knowledge for her. Maybe that bastard had a heart after all. Yeah sure he did, that was like saying she had the perfect home life, which as she knew perfectly well she didn't possess. The silences where becoming denser and the fights more explosive the neighbours were being more generous, and if she looked closely she could spot a hint of pity, like a tiny glint of sunshine in their expressions. She hated that, their pity, it wouldn't do anything for the situation it only infuriated her further. But she would just have to ignore it, like everything else she would dive deeper into whatever she was doing, so that the touchy voices that commanded the attention of the others around it simmered down to a background noise. That's just the way she liked it, the fact that she could runaway when a task came up, those voices were her momentum, like a slave driver that strode to have her achieve the best possible results in the minimum amount of time. In fact all their arguing had caused her marks to increase, and in her mind she encouraged them to continue, it was contriving magnificent results.

Now back to the reason she was there watching a rarity unfold…that's right Celena had told her she needed to use the bathroom but didn't return so she went out to search for her. After a thorough combing of the bathroom (she swore that half the female population in her school lived in there) she decided to search through the rows of lockers, she was about to head back to the cafeteria when she had spotted the pretty yellow sweater that had adorned Celena. Hitomi wondered where she had gotten it and had asked her about it. Come to think of it that was around the time Celena had retreated to the bathroom—or wherever she was at that point in time. Then there they were Van and Celena sort of resting on two lockers, like they had been friends forever, like there was some incommunicable understanding between the two. It made her eyebrows shoot up, and she questioned her eyesight to make sure she had been seeing correctly. The scene nearly gave her a heart attack. So now she was there just, hiding cautiously behind a wall, she hated how juvenile she acted sometimes.

"Is there something you want Hitomi?" he queried, the tenor voice rippling through the sound of students in the cafeteria. How the hell had this kid spotted her was what she wanted to know.

"No," she scowled at him, "I just wanted to make sure Celena was alright." Then sat beside Celena looking at her friend anxiously, all morning she had this feeling, a foreboding one, that something was wrong with her companion. Glancing at her eyes she noted the barely visible ring of red that outlined it, but inside those azure pools there was something hiding something so forlorn that Hitomi just had to give her some sort of comfort. Embracing her she had forgotten that Van was still connected to Celena by the headphones, Van came cascading down and with Celena's added weight Hitomi toppled over.

The first thing to come from this display of clumsiness on Hitomi's part was a laugh, it was Celena's. Clear, happy, beautiful, they had cheered her up, it may not have been permanent but it was enough to take her mind off the problems that were shrouded within it. So although she was blushing Hitomi giggled along at her own stupidity, it had been a while since she chuckled, truly chortled at her self and the world. This, whatever it was made her shine with such exuberance that she couldn't help but want it to continue. So she turned around and her digits ran along Celena's stomach in attempt to tickle her. Celena laughed even harder and reciprocated.

Our lowly Van Fanel simply took the earphone out of Celena's ear placed it back in his own. Celena would be fine for now, that laugh had proved it. However…he sighed, he wasn't her therapist or counselor but he had felt sorry for her, he hadn't even inquired about her problem, he simply knew, knew from the song she had asked him to replay again and again. Shoving his hands in his pockets and bowing his head in an attempt to hide himself from the rest of the peering world around him, he raised his glove covered hand as a goodbye. Goodbye for now…he'd come by and rescue her again when she needed it.

"He's a nice guy, I don't understand why you hate him so much," he heard her remark, it made him chuckle and it made Hitomi scoff. Celena just laughed louder.

So fathers be good to your daughters…

The wind was howling again, she wanted it to stop, at least halt its noise when she was participating in illicit activities. All it ever did was remind her of the how empty the house was, it was another reason to do just this, but she didn't want another reason. 'What do you want?' she demanded, 'I want…this, yes this is what I want, I want his hands I want everything about him. I want it now.' "Are you sure?" the question in her mind voiced itself through him. Are you sure? Are you sure! She paused for a moment yet she knew the answer. She had memorized the response, yet it was caught there suspended in the act of formulizing. It sat there in her throat, strangling her, suffocating her, she spat it out anyways refusing to stop. "Of course I'm sure," her voice slithered back. Slithering through the silence of the room and piercing through the howling atmosphere around her.

Are you sure? Yes, she had already exclaimed that, it was there it hung in the ominous, lusting, and uncertain. It had curtained her, coating her heart and saturating her mind with it. Are you sure? No she wasn't it, she never was. She was never certain, but in saying so she would become it. Become assurance, become a calculation taking her lack of confidence and convert it into an ego—a large self-esteem—and with every breath that streamed across her skin, with every incendiary word uttered it would multiply. She was a simple scientific equation give it what it wants it would become a positive energy, reinforce it and it would produce. This beautiful system had been so that her hollow world could be filled with the sounds of her manufactured love. Truth be told it was as vacant as this house. She didn't care though she was too immersed in the object of her desire. It was okay for now because this hole, wherever it may have been, was temporarily filled.

Settling down, she could feel the artificial warmth wrap around her, and snuggling it she began to relax. She loved this feeling of comfort, fabricated comfort. Whatever it maybe she didn't care she enjoyed it and she would continue to because for her there was no other choice. Then the phone rang, it nearly scared her, slicing evilly through the soothing quiet that had washed over the two bodies occupying her bed. She picked it up so that one of the few servants that loitered around didn't have to, "Hello?" she sighed, she was becoming tired, whoever was on the other line better make it quick.

"Good night, may I please talk to my father?" the other voice chirped sweetly, Millerna nearly slammed the phone down to the receiver, she new that voice, she hated the owner of it, more than she hated her false mother.

"I'm sorry Marlene, he's unavailable at the moment on one of his many business trips. Isn't that why you ran away?"

"I beg your pardon," the feministic voice sounded truly offended, and Millerna oppressed the opportunity to snicker at her sister. "Who am I speaking to? I will report you for verbal harassment and he'll have you thrown out!" she retorted with such conviction that Millerna let out a giggle.

"Don't you remember me Lene? Oh yeah, you haven't seen me in about six years…well now we could make this a game. Guess wrong once and I'll hang up the phooone," she replied singing away in her frosty voice. She was smiling, if Marlene guessed wrong she wouldn't have to talk to her again for another two years when she was graduating. Then again she didn't even have to go to that graduation.

"There are a lot of people I haven't seen in six years, I moved away to university then," remarked the voice, it almost sounded nostalgic, she didn't like it. She was reminded of the way things were six years ago.

"Uh-oh wrong answer, well buh-bye!" she practically chuckled, the piece of plastic moving away from her ear, she would ask her father for a second line tomorrow, if Marlene or Eries wanted to call this house she didn't want to pick it up.

"WAIT!" the voice called and even though Millerna loathed the person on the next line she realized that they could phone this house tomorrow. She wouldn't be in a good mood if she had to hear that voice again.

"What is it?" she surrendered.

"Please tell my father that me and my boyfriend will be joining him for Christmas and New Years."

"No," it was the only word that registered in her mind. This was just like her, just when she was becoming accustomed to her surroundings, this sibling of hers would just skip in, happily, and ruin it all. She could already see the Christmas dream that she had created with her father crumble. It was disgusting the way that Marlene could do that, poison everything before it had a chance of even existing. Then again her father would probably be off on some business expedition that he had to attend. Something always needed to discussed, not that she was complaining or anything, but if Marlene just decided to show up… "NO, you cannot come here." It was a simple statement, an order and Marlene, Millerna knew, disliked being ordered around.

"Who am I talking to?" Marlene demanded, the little controlling tattle-tale personality shining brilliantly.

"Oh my god Marlene you are stupid, don't you know this is your little sister," Millerna announced frown lines set in place.

"Eries! Oh my, well hello, I'm sorry for being so silly," Millerna noticed immediately Marlene unwound at the thought of talking to Eries. They always had that, this sisterly bond that had kept them attached, grounded and just…close to one another. She didn't share that with either of them. Marlene was babbling about something or another, and Millerna just snapped. She despised tweeting bird voice, that males thought were cute, but was just…revolting.

"This is Millerna you fucking idiot. Not Eries, and not some servant that you harass non-stop. Don't you remember the kid sister you abandoned six years ago?" she yelled, the pressure in her head was building up, she was going to need an Aspirin after this.

The phone was quiet for a moment, not even the breath that should have been inhaling and exhaling seeped between the small holes. "Millerna? Are you living there now?"

"You don't need to know sister, I just want you to fuck off. Don't call back, and don't come for your little Christmas visit, because I don't wanna see you. I don't care what our father wants."

"I'm coming Millerna whether you―"

"Hi Marlene, what did you want?" it was her father's voice it rang clear, cutting off Marlene's about to be clichéd words. That sentence was so overused it was actually starting to grate her nerves. Her father had said the exact same thing a couple of nights back. She listened to them converse happily about things and heard her father agree immediately to Marlene's visit, promising that he would remain off work. She never had that either, the closeness that seemed to be shared between their voices, meant things. Things that she never had, not that she was complaining… She placed the phone back where it belonged. Looking at the body in the bed, she realized she didn't care. Didn't care if her father found them together, didn't care if her sister was coming to disrupt the peace she had found, didn't care if she had someone who sincerely loved her back, because there was him—there were many "hims" actually ones that no matter what would always think of her, throughout their experiences. She would become a standard, women would be measured against her. And she was content with this, because this was what she wanted, wasn't it? Besides if her sister could get a boyfriend she could get one too and she had a month.