Review if you must stay away if you can.
Dearest reader you must be a very optimistic person to wind up on chapter seven. Let me be the one to tell you spoil it so to say there isn't a good ending in fact it is very depressing so I beg you to stop and go read about Mr. Potter I hear he has a new book out.
"I just can't" Standing on Damocles docks Montgomery Montgomery listened to his fiancé's murmuring. "You are just so…so..risky and Ike understands me, he-" "He understands you?" Monty had to cut her off he didn't like doing that sort of thing for it usually made her uncomfortable considering it was bad grammar but he couldn't see how he was any more risky than the next average Joe.
"Well he listens to me when I-"
"I listen to you sweet heart." Monty made an attempt to touch Josephine, she waved away his hand with a gray handkerchief. "You don't understand me Monty I use to think in time we would work it out but now I see…" Monty began feeling queasy, was she trying to break up with him? "We can make it sweet heart we don't have to let it go, I'll move in with you and we can sell our summer home. My designed home." Monty's voice seemed to waver. "Really," He began again, "I can be every bit as good as Ike-" Josephine shook her head, her eyes darting about as the wood underneath her gray boots creaked. "Montgomery you are chasing brown bunnies." His nerves were being stretched. "Brown Bunnies? I thought the saying was chasing rabbits?" "No, no brown bunnies, ten times harder to catch." "Josephine! Josephine come off the docks before they collapse underneath you!" Monty's nerves like rope began to break and unravel as he turned to see the timid man in brown at the beginning of the docks. Ike. Josephine's face brightened at the sight of him, she touched Monty's shoulder, "I hope you understand and that we can still be friends." She kissed his cheek and dropped a ring into his pocket. With that she turned and hurried quickly but not to quickly over to Ike where they departed full of caution from the sad place. Monty picked the ring out of his jacket pocket and laid it flat on his palm. Snap. "I will catch a brown bunny and I will prove you wrong my dear." He gave an warm smile to try and prevent tears.
The sky was an unusual ruby with pink outlining on round gray clouds, Beatrice moved a few random strands of hair out of her face as she sped down a rolling hill. She was seventeen and on her way home from a secret mission on vertical fresh drop a rather perturbing place where you could quite easily fall to your death. Climbing off her bike she noticed a tall man in front of her home holding a envelope, "Hi there," She huffed moving her bike to the inside of the fence, the man's thin lips twisted into a smile. Beatrice dusted off her green dress and grabbed her duffel, "Hello Hello Hello Beatrice," His voice was horse and deep like he had been shouting all day. "Is that for me?" His eyes became very shiny as he bent down to hand it to her. "Yes," She pulled the letter from his firm grip and put it in her skirt pocket, "You all right?" Beatrice always tried to be polite even to rather uncomfortable people, he nodded than fixed his pants, "My new play," "Really new play what is it called?" "Shout till the can shout no more and I am the main character." Beatrice figured, she decided not to ask anymore questions but to wait till Lemony reviewed it. "Well I must get going the show can't go on with out its main actor." The man pulled his bike out of her mother's petunias and strolled out to the side walk. "See you Beatrice," Beatrice managed a light hand wave before stepping into the home. I might add that it was not a good play at all.
"So lets go over this again you say someone is stealing your recipes and selling them for money?" The Baudelaire son was dressed up as an auctioneer in front of long pink hard candies. "Yes well I'm just not sure what to do, what would you do?" A high pitched voice responded, he nodded turning over his orange common book than flipping through a few pages, "You say," He read, "You say they have stole your ice cream that never melts, bubble gum that never losses its flavor and-" "What does it matter!" The voice suddenly blurted, lavender eyes darted around the factory floor, "I know who they are, spies!" the Baudelaire paused, "Spies from Fickelgruber, Prodnose, and Slugworth's candy factories!" The voice seemed to find its owner as well as the eyes for from out of a small door came a rather pale fragile looking man in a dull green jacket. The man signed taking off his hat, " I appreciate your interest in trying to help me little boy," the auctioneer flinched, "but I think I have to well never mind you may leave go home." The man slumped his shoulders and walked away leaving the Baudelaire's only son to debate what to do. He decided to catch the train and maybe on the way home find out a way to help the famous candy whiz. Besides he missed his sweeter than any candy on earth Beatrice.
Uncle Monty was out in his front yard of his home watering the plants and any nearby reptiles in need of a good wash. It was mid morning and Monty couldn't see better weather to be outside in, Linda was still sleep and would be for the next three hours plenty of time for him to water the front and go into the back to work on the garden, tend the great tree and make sure the maze was keeping the toads content. Ring! Ring! Monty peered out from behind his bush frog to see Beatrice Hissssss riding her bike down the street, she pulled over as she caught sight of his vivid green home. Monty let Nancy wind up his left leg as Beatrice came to a complete stop. "Montgomery?" "Well hello Beatrice!" Her lush brown hair was freely cascading in thick curls around her face and her smile illuminated the whole garden. Monty sprayed a nearby bush as she made her way up to his front steps, "How are you?" "I'm good Beatrice I'm so glad to see you." "Don't go out there! THAT MAN IS OUT THERE!" A voice cried from next door, Beatrice frowned at Monty, he smiled and waved her over as he turned off the hose. "Mrs. Luckett fire ball next door, her husband must be leaving for work, only reason she would be up so early. Come inside!" Beatrice pointed to her bike, "Oh leave it Rupert will keep watch." "Rupert oh!" Beatrice covered her mouth in shock as a lively purple snake roughly the size of a willow tree wrapped comfortably around her bike.
"Come in! You can help me if you don't mind."
"Oh no not at all I wasn't doing anything today, I thought I would just ride my bike around maybe go to the beach. You know I leave tomorrow for-" Beatrice trailed off as they stepped into the reptile room. Her voice totter as she tried to express her overwhelming ah of the huge lab. "You like it?" "Wow, It's beautiful" Beatrice breathed peering up at the sea serpent's skeleton. "This is my pride and joy my life's work I call it the Reptile Room." Monty tucked his hands in to his vest pockets surveying the room with enjoyment, he had never had anyone tell him it was beautiful. Beatrice slowly walked past cages and exotic nets, glass cases, bottles of blues and blacks, wall hangings, large maps and reptile theme lamps. "This room is amazing:" Beatrice tapped the glass a fish looking creature crawling out from under a thin rock and smiled at her. "It smiled at me!" Beatrice giggled in surprise. Monty stood in the arch of the double doors watching Beatrice become accustom to the lab. Brown hair. Beatrice moved her hair out of her face as she bent of a tank full of slimy green toads, the sun sandwiched between two clouds beamed down making her brown hair glow. Monty tipped his head…Brown bunny…"Beatrice! Dear come over here I have a bit of a puzzle concerning my purple toads and yellow snakes that I would like you to help me with." "Oh sure!"
How beautifully depressing.