Foreword: Oh look, another one! Same rules as before, etc etc.
1
Sunagakure--the Village Hidden in the Sands--has a history that eerily parallels Konoha's. In a lot of way, the two are broken mirror images of each other. Their clans are proof enough of that, to say nothing of their Kage.
The Ijoufu Clan was originally formed from a combination of soldiers, peasants and artisans. The Arankagiri were their masters and the Kouya their sworn rivals. The Chuugai came from a long line of pest control specialists, and the Nekoteinei came from circus performers with a habit of sticking their heads into the mouths of big, angry cats and a rather pressing need to be able to tell the cats to not bite down. In fact, there are still dozens of small families of circus performers that claim Nekoteinei heritage; they are technically the largest clan in the Hidden Sand.
The Bloodline Clans, once numbering five, now virtually extinct due to the inherent prejuidices that the Sand shares with the Mist when it comes to such people, also share an eerie parallel history to their Konoha brethren. The Higan Clan were originally derived from burglars and would-be Robin Hoods with ears said to hear the human heartbeat from miles away. The Gekka Clan were originally a bunch of monks broken from their calling by the world around them. They are the ones who first created Tekken--the Iron Fist style now practiced, in some form or other, by ninja around the world--and although Rock Lee and Maito Gai will never know it, they hold the last vestiges of the original art as it was performed by the Clan's first head.
Everyone knows that the Sansai Clan were originally bodybuilders, but nobody remembers that the Dakatsu Clan were once poison specialists. That particular secret died with Chiyo and Sasori, the last people to dissect a Dakatsu member.
2
The only thing Jiraiya hates Dan for is that he died and left Tsunade to mourn for him.
Consequently, the only reason Naruto is angry at Sasuke is that he left and made Sakura cry.
3
Every single one of the Sound Six gave Orochimaru some sort of wound when he first found them, whether he liked it or not.
Jiroubou knocked out half of his teeth. Ukon and Sakon blackened his eye. Tayuya stabbed him in the hand and Kidoumaru shot an arrow through his shoulder. Kimimaro broke his nose. Although most would never admit it--and Orochimaru himself is among that number--the lesser five of his Six were actually quite competent. Genius-level in fact. At certain things, anyway.
Jiroubou adapted to an Advanced Bloodline more skillfully than Kakashi. Ukon and Sakon were masters of sneak attacks and mindgames. Tayuya was the brightest Genjutsu expert that the Hidden Cloud had produced in decades. Kidoumaru was simply brilliant. Compared to them, the only reasons Kimimaro was more appealing to Orochimaru were simple: He was as beautiful as a woman without being one, slavishly devoted with no goals of his own to live on in Orochimaru's mind, and his Bloodline could've been refined with Kinjutsu to make him virtually indestructable...
And perhaps, with help from Kabuto and those like him, immortal as well.
To this day, Orochimaru still privately mourns Kimimaro. Not out of any sincere, heartfelt grief, but because compared to him, Uchiha Sasuke is nothing but a bucket full of problems with half the looks and none of the devotion. Kimimaro was Orochimaru's chance at true perfection. Sasuke is just a silver medal.
4
Of Yakushi Kabuto, one thing can be said with the utmost certainty: He likes to screw with people.
5
Although relations managed to cool off between the Yondaime Kazekage and Hokage enough that, by the time of the Hokage's death, the two were at peace, the two always differed on a few key aspects.
Where the Hokage treasured his family, the Kazekage saw tools. Where the Hokage gained his rank through courage and valor, the Kazekage became such through subterfuge and manipulation. Both men left weapons as their legacies, but where the Hokage sacrificed himself for his village and is remembered with reverence for it, the Kazekage was murdered by a foreigner and no-one mourns him because of it.
6
Eerily enough, the pattern of opposites for the Kazekage and Hokage holds true for their legacies as well.
Gaara grew up in splendor and wealth, his uncle there to provide care for him at all times. He had a brother and a sister. Until two years ago, both feared and hated him, though neither would admit it to his face. He killed his first man at six. Naruto grew up in abject poverty, only gaining any sort of parent when he made one out of Umino Iruka. He only has one brother--adopted and violently estranged--and no-one can say for certain how he views his other teammate. Until two years ago, both loathed his existence, and were more than happy to admit it to his face. He killed his first man at twelve.
Everyone knows that Gaara is the son of the Yondaime. No-one will admit whether or not Naruto claims the same heritage.
7
Haruno Sakura has, for the past two years, viewed Uzumaki Naruto as being her unofficial silver medal; her grand backup plan if Sasuke never comes back for whatever reason. She does not hold this view out of self-importance, nor does she hold it out of pity. She doesn't know why she thinks this way, but after staring at herself in the mirror for twelve minutes one day, she stopped caring.
Coincidentally, that was the same day she cut her hair short and left it that way.
8
Konoha Tekken, as practiced by Lee and Gai, relies on strong legwork above all else. The hands can be completely shattered and the practitioner can continue fighting with little real effect on the kind of damage they can do.
The reason for this is that its originator--the last member of the Gekka Clan, a refugee to Konoha--was a woman. Due to injuries brought on by life as a kunoichi, she could have no children of her own. She compensated for this by teaching dead last losers who had no hopes otherwise. This tradition, like her legwork and her style of dress, has carried through to every dedicated Tekken Ninja ever since. Prior to Tsunade, the legendary kunoichi that Konoha's little girls looked up to was named Aian Aika; she forsook her Gekka name upon becoming a refugee.
It is because Aika wore green spandex--and looked good in it--that Lee and Gai do the same. Coincidentally, it is also because Aika wore spandex that TenTen tries not to mind that Lee and Gai do the same. She likes to think that they do it to honor Konoha's first great feminist for her glorious ideals.
... She gives them too much credit of course, but hey; can't win 'em all.
9
One night, on the bridge they used to meet on when they were actually teammates, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura have a short, brutal heart-to-heart. The words exchanged are not screamed, nor are they insults and neither one of them cry when it's all said and done.
"Hokage is not a silver medal," Naruto tells her. "And I'm not your shattered prince."
He ends the conversation on that note. The last thing Sakura sees of him that night is his back, outlined in moonlight, shoulders sturdy and upright with the pure force of determination that has kept him alive up to now.
10
Akimichi Chouji gives the best gifts of any ninja in Konoha. He bested his father for the title for the simple reason that he makes no distinction among who he gives gifts to, and whether the gift is expensive or cheap, it is always what someone wants or needs.
For Shino, he gets a new pair of sunglasses. For Kiba, cologne to mask the smell of dog. For Hinata, a three-sizes-too-big hooded sweatshirt to replace the old jacket she's grown out of, and for Kurenai, he gives a brush that can survive her hair.
For Sakura, he gives a pair of gloves to make sure she doesn't break a nail or bust a knuckle when she's fighting to the death. Since Sasuke is gone, Chouji simply gifts him by breaking into the Uchiha estate and tipping the old Team Seven photo upright, leaving a note to be read only when Sasuke finally returns here. It says simply, "Complete." For Kakashi, Chouji provides copies of the new Icha Icha books, to replace all the ones Naruto burned.
For Naruto, who never seems to get gifts from anyone, Chouji buys him a potted plant and, when he's gone, waters it as necessary for him. His father, Chouza, does not approve, but doesn't say anything to stop him either.
For Asuma, Chouji gets a new lighter. For Shikamaru, he gets earplugs--nice, discreet, hard-to-see earplugs.
For Ino, he simply buys her dinner and gives her the bluntest truth that any man has ever, or ever will give her: Diets don't make for attractiveness. Skimpy clothing and a good figure do.
Coincidentally, Ino quits dieting and starts wearing a short skirt, fishnets and a skimpy top the next day.
11
The death knell for the Team Ten Jackets--the white or grey jackets worn by Hinata, Shino and Kiba--comes shortly after the failed mission to bring back Uchiha Sasuke. Akamaru shreds Kiba's and it falls to Kurenai to get a replacement for it. In the end, she selects a jacket not for who the boy is, but who he's going to be.
It's black and leather. Kurenai doesn't know--nor does she want to know--but it is because of this jacket that Kiba catches the eye of a blond-haired Nekoteinei girl, eventually culminating in the one night stand where he loses his virginity.
Shino ditches his own jacket a few days later, instead grabbing a long, stylish coat that makes him feel more protected because of the many armored plates he can--and does--sew into it. Hinata is the one who gives him the hooded sweatshirt he wears over it, and although neither is the same as the old jacket, he doesn't mind the transition so much.
Hinata gets her hoody from Chouji. It's a birthday present from out of the blue; he simply walks into the Hyuuga compound with no warning whatsoever, tracks her down with the aid of her younger sister and gives it to her without even wrapping it. When she asks why, he shrugs and says that Neji told him about the Hyuuga ability to see through solid objects. Then he gives her a polite wave and lets himself out.
Later, when Kurenai sees her team reassembled for the first time, all of them Chuunin, she wonders whether or not they're still close enough to call each other family without the visual similarities that the jackets gave them.
Then Kiba randomly tackles Shino and tries to noogie him while Hinata does her best to jump out of the way, only to crash backwards into Akamaru, fall to the ground and end up with a face full of dog slobber.
It's at this moment that Kurenai realizes that her team no longer needs the jackets. She sleeps a little easier at night because of it.
12
Maito Gai is the closest thing any of his students have to a father.
TenTen was raised by a single mother; a former kunoichi who retired due to becoming pregnant during a spy mission. She is the illegitimate heir to the throne of an entire country, but knows that she can never seek to claim this heritage because the country in question treats its women as little more than a man's property. This is why she wants to become a famous kunoichi on the same level as the legendary Tsunade.
Neji is an orphan. His father died to save his uncle, and the corpse is likely still being studied in the Hidden Cloud. His mother, an Uchiha, was forced into the Main family and died within minutes of her second daughter's birth.
When asked about his own family situation, Lee just has an odd way of smiling and changing the subject. Nobody has ever pressed him about it, because the smile he makes doesn't reach his eyes and they don't want to know what caused it.
So, in his own way, Gai has become their father. He scares TenTen's boyfriends--and when Gai wants to genuinely frighten someone, he is alarmingly good at it--and gives her a source of male encouragement to reach for her dreams. He gives Neji an unbreakable source of optimism to counter the gloomy nature of the life he's had since he was four years old, and when the Hyuuga prodigy can't stand being at the family estate, Gai is the one he lives with for weeks on end.
To Lee, Gai is more than a stand-in. He is a father. Their relationship is close enough that TenTen and Neji privately envy it at times.
So when Gai acts like an idiot, and when he intrudes upon their personal lives, weirds out the people who might otherwise be their friends and generally makes life interesting in ways they didn't intend, none of his students fault him.
They love him for it.
And that is all the reward he needs.
13
Amusingly, the day Shikamaru offhandedly mentioned to Ino that Chouji could alter the size of any part of his body at will was also the day she first found him attractive.
14
At least three times in her life, Tsunade has kissed women. Every single one of them was Jiraiya's fault.
Once, while on a mission, she and Orochimaru had to imitate a married couple. Circumstances kicked in and it was Tsunade who became the man and Orochimaru who became the woman. They had to stay that way for the better part of sixteen hours while Jiraiya was sneaking into their target zone and planting Blast Slips. Tsunade won't admit it, but she enjoyed it. Orochimaru will admit it, because he had the time of his (first) life with it.
The second time was during a drunk game of post-grief poker with Jiraiya, Orochimaru and about a dozen other ninjas of their day. Tsunade and another woman lost so much money that Jiraiya made them kiss to pay off the debt. Since she was going to have to do it anyway, Tsunade downed a half a bottle of sake, took the other woman by the back of the head and locked lips for three minutes straight.
When she was done, she honestly thought Jiraiya would die of a massive heartattack. Orochimaru, on the other hand, was completely unphased.
The third time, she just wanted a confidence fix. So she waited for Jiraiya to enter the room, grabbed a random female Jounin--Kurenai or Anko, she can't really remember which since it had been such a long day--and kissed them.
When it was all said and done, Jiraiya just regarded her with his head cocked to the side. The Jounin was completely red-faced and Tsunade was waiting impatiently.
Then Jiraiya just gave a shrug and said, in so many words, "I've seen better."
Tsunade hasn't felt more enraged at him since then, and she doesn't know why.
15
Of everyone in the world, there are only a select few who have never and will never look upon Orochimaru and be frightened or hindered by his ability to use killing intent as a weapon. The youngest of this lot is Uzumaki Naruto, and although Orochimaru will never admit it, the boy scares him almost as much as death itself because of this.
16
When Itachi gets word of the Battle at the Valley of the End, where Sasuke and a Jinchuuriki beat the daylights out of each other, and where Sasuke emerged victorious, he is proud. With his limited set of emotions, it doesn't show on his face, but he is still proud.
Then he hears that Sasuke didn't kill the Jinchuuriki. He doesn't understand it, but the resulting flood of emotions makes him want to put a fist through a wall and scream. At the same time, it makes him want to jump for joy. The Jinchuuriki--the demon he wants--is still attainable.
But his brother has now strayed from the path to true strength. He has gained too much hatred, and it has blinded him to what he should've done.
Itachi won't admit to it when Kisame finally asks as they're eating lunch one day, but Sasuke is now out of his grasp. For the first time in almost seven years, Itachi feels worried.
17
In addition to being one of the best sewers of his generation, the Yondaime Hokage was also a masterful origami artist. So skillful and talented, in fact, that the Hidden Leaf's councilmembers still keep his works around as a momento. He initially took it up as a hobby to escape paperwork.
Coincidentally, every single piece still in existence used to be an unsigned document.
18
One day, Utatane Moegi makes it to the final round of the Chuunin Exams.
It's hot, and her opponent is another girl. A Hyuuga, no less. At first, they spend a little time walking in circles around each other; Moegi and Hanabi sizing one another up. Then, Moegi throws her first fireball of the battle.
Coincidentally, it's her only fireball of the battle. Hanabi powers through with a moving half-Kaiten, makes it to point blank and disables her with one blow to the face. Moegi is left blind, unable to smell or taste and completely mute so that she can't even surrender. For a few minutes--what feels like an eternity--Hanabi beats the living Hell out of her, until the world goes completely frigid.
She wakes up an hour later in the infirmary. Udon is at her bedside, having a staring contest with another Genin. He informs her that Konohamaru is fighting and if she wants to see, she's going to have to hurry up because his opponent is Hyuuga Hanabi.
Moegi makes it back right in time to watch her former opponent crash into the stands. Even bleeding internally, she manages to give a loud, brazen cheer for her teammate.
Then Hanabi gets up, angry, missing her shirt and somehow more beautiful than any girl who's just been set on fire should be, and storms back down into the fighting ring. She tells Konohamaru something about a date.
It's at about this time that Moegi first believes in destiny: She can't beat Hanabi. She never will.
19
Every other saturday, Konoha's Jounin community--small as it is--holds a get-together downtown. The staging area is typically downtown, in the very steakhouse frequented by the InoShikaCho team. For these gatherings, the house essentially closes its doors to non-Jounin, putting most of the tables together in squares and rectangles until there is a maximum of space on the floor. Then they dim the lights and put on music; one CD's worth from each Jounin, randomly cycled through on a new jukebox that all of them pooled spending money on.
At the get-togethers, things happen. Not the kinds of things one might expect of amoral killing machines with legs, but the kinds of things you'd see at a regular get-together among friends. People get drunk, play cards and gamble away chumpchange, dance on the floor and the ceiling, toast to fallen comrades and hold prayers to ensure that those still living would continue to do so.
The most frequent standouts in these get-togethers are Asuma and Kurenai, who first introduced the idea of dancing and dating at these things. It was all a random happening; Asuma lost a bet, Kurenai challenged him to pay it with a dance and somewhere between the floor, the ceiling, the walls and common sense, it was revealed that Asuma actually can dance. Better than Kurenai, in fact. Ino taught him how to swing and how to ballroom dance.
After them, Anko is the most frequent center of attention. She is undefeated in dango eating, but Shiranui Genma managed to best her once at a drinking contest. His liver has been trying to murder him in his sleep ever since.
Relatively new to the get-togethers are Hatake Kakashi, Shizune and Hyuuga Neji. Kakashi joined up shortly after his team fell apart. No-one ever asked him aloud, but he casually explained it with something along the lines of: "If I don't have some company, I'm gonna go insane and kill you all." Complete with that unnerving one-eyed smile of his. Since then, he's been hanging out with Ebisu at the end of one of the longer tables, legs kicked up next to a usually-emptied(and God only knows how) plate of something or other. To date, only Anko has actually seen him eating, and she's still googly-eyed like a lusty schoolgirl because of it.
Shizune joined the get-togethers shortly after Kakashi. To date, Raidou and Ebisu have gotten into fist fights over who gets to dance with her, Gai has bested her at throwing darts while blind and using only his feet, and Anko still refuses to give her the time of day. She fits in, but she's a wallflower and she tries to stay that way.
Neji is the most recent addition to these parties. He became a Jounin on the very day they were holding one, and his 'initiation,' as it were, became the happening of the night. Within the span of six hours, a grand total of thirty-two soy sauce-filled water balloons busted on his head, ten dango sticks--courtesy of Anko, mostly--somehow came within two inches of his crotch, every drink he had was laced with alcohol and at least four people used a Genjutsu to make him think he was naked in a room full of violent prison inmates.
It took the steakhouse owners two days to put the roof back on. Chouji still hasn't fully forgiven Asuma, and he probably never will.
20
Coincidentally, the day after Neji made Jounin was the day Rock Lee first defeated him. No-one is quite sure how the two started fighting or what they fought over. Neither will say, but according to TenTen, it involved a massive hangover, the wreak of soy sauce and the funny look Neji was giving to Lee everytime he mentioned an explosion of youth.
The fight itself, on the other hand, is widely known. It involved lots of screaming, internal bleeding, Initial Lotus and a public toilet. While Neji continues to attend the semi-weekly Jounin get-togethers, he does it with his Byakugan activated and his eyes laced with killing intent for anyone bringing sake within two feet of him.
To date, only Kakashi, Anko and Ibiki have found it funny.
21
Uchiha Sasuke will never admit it, but every night, he dreams of home. Not of the Sound, not of the Uchiha, but home. A place where a stupid girl with pink hair declared undying love for him. A place where a blond dumbass was willing to throw his life away to prove that he could scratch Sasuke's forehead. A place where a Bloodline thief he should have hated more than almost anything somehow became the closest thing he had to a father since the real one was murdered in cold blood.
When he dreams, all of them are there. Naruto and Sakura have grown; she isn't much taller, but she's filled out and looks more like the woman she's going to become. Her hair is down to the backs of her knees though, and her skills as a shinobi are still subpar at best. Naruto, on the other hand, is still a runt with scruffy hair, clad in the exact same color jumpsuit as before and still too goodhearted to want to kill anyone. Kakashi though, is exactly the same.
When he wakes up though, Sasuke is left with a terrible feeling that everything is just plain wrong...
22
Eventually, when Team 7 reunites, Sasuke is able to put a finger on what felt wrong.
Naruto and Sakura have grown. She isn't much taller, but she's filled out and looks more like the woman she's going to become, but she cuts her hair short now and has a gleam in her eyes that looks like she could take on the world and actually win this time. Naruto has gotten bigger; still scruffy haired but the jumpsuit is gone, replaced with a jacket and pants that are both darker in color and loaded with weapons that carry the faintest smell of human blood. He has killed, probably more times than Sasuke himself, and yet he still looks completely unweathered for it.
Kakashi though, is exactly the same...
Until Sasuke sees his Sharingan evolve in the heat of battle.
It's at that moment that Sasuke is genuinely able to figure out what felt wrong: He never had to leave in the first place.
Author's Note: I'm probably running out of steam on this, huh?
All the Sand Clans are random inventions I came up with based on the huge panel at the end of chapter 279 of the manga. Feel free to use and abuse them if you want. In addition to that, the reference to Neji's mother is also a reference to another story of mine: Red-Eyed Hyuuga. Go give it a read.
That's all. Either permanently or just for now. Hope you enjoyed!
Regards,
The Sh33p