AERIS' BIRTHDAY PARTY!
Author: Hello there, people! Yes, YOU! If you don't like cussing then go somewhere and cry about it, Cid's in this one kiddies! Oh yeah, and I've got 2 really wise words for you! MOO MOO! I crack when I hear those words. Especially when old people say it. yeah. Anyway, READ ON! I'll shut up now. Oh, and I don't own anyone except myself and Sephiroth's soul, Mwahahahah!
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CHAPTER TWO
Aeris was again staring at her cake. She did not notice Sephiroth prancing about in the garden, picking flowers and placing some in his hair. He was obviously singing a happy little tune as he danced about gaily. It was when he was running around in circles making giggling sounds that Aeris looked out the window and noticed. He then began to sing the West Side Story song at the top of his lungs when she came out to see what the hell had happened to him. "I'M SO PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY, SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND FINE!!!!!"
"What in holy hell are YOU doing?! Oh. I get, so Cloud was right, you really ARE gay." It was with those last few words from Aeris that Sephiroth stopped his singing and dancing.
"No, I'm not gay. Can you not see it? I'm a changed man! No longer shall I slaughter hordes of somewhat innocent people that had no meaning in life in the first place! Or stalk the shadows to slit a passerby's throats of to obtain keys to a simple door that I could probably knock down with a single punch yet I choose to make it more fun with a few deaths! Or fly down like an angel of death upon beautiful women such as yourself with my Masamune, impaling them like a knife in butter only with blood spewing about the place! No longer am I the insane meglomaniacle fiend that takes pleasure in wielding the tapestry of creation to focus pure energy into reality through nothing more than my own will, the rush of electricity through my being, the power of being godly! Dear gods! The Power!!! IT'S THE ONLY TIME IN WHICH I FEEL ALIVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Sephiroth howled with his arms raised in a 'I-am-godly-fear-me' sort of way. He finished with several tides of maniacal evil laughter. Aeris interrupted him by clearing her throat, causing Sephiroth to be brought back to the real world. "Eheheheh. Soooooo, now that I'm a changed man, that means I'm free to leave, right?
"Ahahahah no. No, I don't think you are truly ready to be released into society." Aeris said before going into a mock delightful tone. "But, do you truly think I'm. beautiful?"
"Err. Well, I guess soooo... Yes, yes you are! You're so hot, I would do you. Now am I free?!" His eyes were full of eagerness.
"Oh Sephy!!! I love you too!" Aeris was crying out in more mock delight as she leapt into Sephiroth, knocking him to the ground, all the while grasping onto him. " Oh, we can get married, have lots and lots of children! Better yet, WE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND FILL IT FULL OF OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!"
"Are you serious, you want to take over the world with me?! Why the hell DID I kill you?! YES! NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! SEX, GODLY POWER, AND WORLD DOMINATION!!! Let us go and advance further in this evil plot!" Sephiroth shouted out loud as he picked himself up with Aeris in his arms. (He's still wearing the stripping cop costume.)
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!! TAKE YOUR OBSSESIVE DEMONIC HOBIES AND SHOVE IT!!!" A neighbor on the other side of Aeris' garden was heard screaming at them. A long silent moment passed with Sephiroth holding Aeris in his arms and them both staring at where the voice came from. 'Sweat drops.'
"YOU'RE THE FIRST TO BE IN THE LINE OF THE SLAUGHTERING OF HUMANS!!!" Sephiroth screamed back. Aeris jumped out of his arms and produced her battle staff, only for it to collide up the side of Sephiroth's head. Sephiroth twitched on the ground in front of the convinced driven Aeris who then leaned on her staff.
"I knew the whole 'I'm a changed man, I should be free' act was all put on as a last and desperate resort to escape my grasp. All I needed to do to prove my assumption was true was to put on the little act that would not even be turned down by you. HA! Like I would want to rule the world with a jerk like you!" Aeris said, kicking his arm harder than she meant to.
"Y, you. are. purely evil. or good. aw, shit. Damn and I was so close." Sephiroth said, rubbing his face. " If you see any teeth, they're mine."
"You didn't fool me for a second, and you're not missing any teeth. Although, you did make me think you were queer, that would have explain the Panteen Pro-V hair." Aeris said, stroking her staff unconsciously.
"I. AM. NOT. GAY!!!" Sephiroth growled as he slowly sat up. She let out a sigh and cast Cure 2 on him. "You wanna go upstairs and see just how 'gay' I am?! When I finish doing you, you'd be coming back for more!
"In your dreams and my nightmares!" Aeris' face went as red as her jacket before she slapped him.
"What?! I'm just trying to prove I'm straight!" He whined, a bit disappointed with her rejection. Aeris only turned back towards the house and walked inside shaking her head in disgust. He yelled more after her." I'll even strip before you before the sex! Yeah, that's right! I'll give YOU a 'happy birthday present' that you'll never forget!"
"You're so disgusting, you pervert!" Aeris screamed at him from within the house. "Don't make me use the shock collar!"
"Whatever." Sephiroth muttered with a smug look plastered on his face. He too, went inside.
Several minutes later within the house of Aeris Gainsborough.
"Come ooon." Sephiroth pressured. "No" Aeris replied as she fixed dinner. "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No"
"Damn it, YES!" Yelled a third voice from the bushes outside under the window. Aeris and Sephiroth looked at the window, then each other, and then back again. The bushes rustled slightly.
"Shhh! I think they heard you! Yet another sin will be added upon my soul if they find us." Said another familiar yet daunting voice, a bit lower toned than the first.
"Shit! Shut your own mother *$#^ing face, I'm *&%$#ing tired of hearing your damn melancholy shit!" the first voiced snapped back. A lighter could be heard snapping on then off and a few seconds later, cigarette smoke could be seen rising up from the bush. "Why the hell are we here again?"
".To give Aeris her Birthday present!" the disconsolate voice whispered with a hint of annoyance. "It's quiet in there, too quiet.Hmm. I'll be sinning if do, so you take a peak and see if they ARE having sex."
"WE AREN'T HAVING SEX!!! BOTH OF YOU, GET IN HERE NOW!" Aeris fumed, both Sephiroth and her heard everything the two had whispered. The bush rustled violently and the top of a blonde head and a raven-haired head could be seen bobbing outside of the window towards the front steps.
"Dammit!" the blonde said. Smoke trailed behind his head from the cigarette.
"I have sinned. when shall I atone?" the raven-haired one said.
"And get rid of the cigarette, Cid." Aeris said in a calmer tone.
"Dammit!"
Once the door opened two tall men walked in holding a wrapped box each. The blonde one was putting out his cigarette on the back of other gloved hand that held a rectangle yellow box with white ribbon. He had a rugged look and was in his early thirties, though he seemed a bit older. He placed the half-used cigarette back into the pack latched to his head by his goggles for later use. He had two twelve packs of beer under both arms.
"Hello Cid." Aeris greeted him with a warm smile. Though she knew, she pried at him with a conceited smile. "What brings you to the happy house of Aeris?"
"What the @$^&? Happy House Of Aeris?! That makes it sound like you own some kinda (*&$ing cult that molests kids! Anyway, got you some damn crap for your birthday. We were the only @%#$ing ones that had the goddamned balls to bring you yer presents! All them damn pussies, spiky ass blonde shit wouldn't even show his little *$%$ing head. Holy hell! I'm ganna whoop their ass when get back." Cid continued to ramble on as threw the two twelve packs of beer and Aeris' present on the counter and went into the living room and sat on the couch. One of the packs was already open and the missing beer could be found in Cid's hand, who was busy chugging it down already. Aeris was the first to break the silence after the awkward moment.
"Ooookay." Aeris said out loud, she turned to the other man that stood there silently with his usual blank expression, half-hidden by his blood- red collar of his and his black hair, woven under his headband. He wore attire of black and red with the exception of his golden claw arm on his left shoulder down and his deathly pale skin. His scarlet eyes didn't blink as Aeris stared at him for a while. "How are you Vincent?"
"A day has not gone by without my black heart present. I apologize for my presence, it tends to bring nothing but sorrow and misery." Vincent answered with no hint of emotion in his voice. He was holding a small black box with blood-red ribbon and a black rose tied down by the ribbon. He held it up to Aeris. "This Pandora's box is for your date of birth into this cruel world."
"Right. um, I thank you, Vincent. I'll open it with the other presents." Aeris said, taking his offered gift as well as Cid's and putting them next to her stairs next to the other gifts she had received from the other members of Avalanche in the mail. She looked back at Cid then Vincent, smiling. "Please, make yourself at home."
Sephiroth had been leaning on the counter the whole time, observing the two men that helped Cloud fight against him back in the Crater a while back. He didn't like the one that cursed a lot, yet as for the other man. He was OK. But he hardly spoke to him. Aeris continued cooking while Cid cursed at the TV in the other room. Vincent walked over and sat on the stool at the counter, opposite side of Sephiroth. He looked at Sephiroth, and Sephiroth looked back. Vincent nodded in an emotionless greeting. Sephiroth did the same in return. Vincent raised an eyebrow when he studied what he was wearing.
"If I may ask, why are you wearing that Sephiroth?" Vincent had a bit of enthusiasm in his voice that time he spoke.
"Oh! He's my bitch. That's his stripping outfit." Aeris smiled with a few giggles. Sephiroth hung his head in shame and pouted silently.
"..?!" Vincent stared at her with sheer disbelief, before trying to suppress his laughter, which caused Aeris to stare at him because he never laughed before. He quickly excused himself and went to the room where Cid was. Aeris and Sephiroth could both hear Cid burst into laughter as he rushed into the room with Vincent at his heels.
"So, heheh, Sephiroth, is this your new job? Aeris' birthday party entertainer?" Cid asked before erupting into laughter. Vincent hid behind him snickering madly. Even Aeris couldn't hold it in any longer. Sephiroth stood there, using all his will power to not attack them and kill them all. Cid continued making fun of Sephiroth for several minutes as everyone laughed after each comment. "Hey, Oh mighty general, I like your hat!" He shook with rage when he turned to Aeris who had tears in her eyes from all the laughing.
"Hey Aeris, make this guy shut up!" Sephiroth growled at the giggling girl. She couldn't stop laughing.
"Hey Aeris, make this guy kiss my ass!" Cid said in response. Sephiroth threw up his hands and let out a howl of fury.
"UHHG! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL!" Sephiroth said before he ran off crying, which only caused more tides of laughter.
"Would you two like to stay for dinner and some cake?" Aeris asked once the laughter died down.
"Well, I do not-" Vincent began but Cid cut him off.
"Yeah! I want some damn cake, looks good. Could I also make some tea?" Cid said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author: Hello there again, how are you? I'm fine, thank you for asking. Why of course I would like some tea and candy, why thank you.
Legolas: Why is she talking to herself?
Sephiroth: She's not, she's talking to the people out there. I hope.
Link: What people?
Kuja: Why the bloody hell are we here again? Oh, and by the way, I like the both of your hair.
Sephiroth and Legolas: (fumbles with their hair at the same time) thank you.
Kain: I like blood.
Author: You really do like my fanfic? Why I am ecstatic to hear that, thank you.
Link: . There is no one out there, Miss Aeris.
Vincent: I think she lost it.
Kain: I'm thirsty, where's blood. Someone gimme blood.
Kuja: I chipped a nail (sniffles)
Legolas: Fate is so cruel.
Vincent: That's my line, elf boy.
Sephiroth: At least we have our own cage now.
Kain: blood.
Author: Maybe I should let people ask questions of my little specimens- I mean friends.
Vincent: She sorta reminds me of Hojo (cringes)
Kain: Blood.
Dante: I want to say something cool.
Author: Yes I shall. Allrighty then! People can send in questions for any one of my (kidnapped against their will and caged up in my miscellaneously located evil castle) hot, and/or, pretty guys: Sephiroth (FF7), Vincent (FF7), Kain (Blood Omen 2), Link (Zelda), Dante (Devil May Cry), Kuja (FF9), or Legolas (Lord of the Rings) I've got more down in the dungeon but they're not worth mentioning. So like, email me at: thehotmageaeris@hotmail.com or just click that pretty button on the very bottom and review the questions. I like questions.
Kain: Blood!
Legolas: . 'the hot mage Aeris?' What the crap is that?
Author: Yes, Kain. I'll give you blood. later tonight. Mwahahahaha! And Legolas watch it, or you don't get any lembas bread!
Dante: Let's rock baby! (Poses dramatically)
Author: Ooookay! Anywho. I'll need 5 more reviews! I'll be back. (Goes out and burns down the nearest Safeway.) They said it was my store and I hated it. Okay! Who's up for strip poker?
All: ME!
Author: Hello there, people! Yes, YOU! If you don't like cussing then go somewhere and cry about it, Cid's in this one kiddies! Oh yeah, and I've got 2 really wise words for you! MOO MOO! I crack when I hear those words. Especially when old people say it. yeah. Anyway, READ ON! I'll shut up now. Oh, and I don't own anyone except myself and Sephiroth's soul, Mwahahahah!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER TWO
Aeris was again staring at her cake. She did not notice Sephiroth prancing about in the garden, picking flowers and placing some in his hair. He was obviously singing a happy little tune as he danced about gaily. It was when he was running around in circles making giggling sounds that Aeris looked out the window and noticed. He then began to sing the West Side Story song at the top of his lungs when she came out to see what the hell had happened to him. "I'M SO PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY, SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND FINE!!!!!"
"What in holy hell are YOU doing?! Oh. I get, so Cloud was right, you really ARE gay." It was with those last few words from Aeris that Sephiroth stopped his singing and dancing.
"No, I'm not gay. Can you not see it? I'm a changed man! No longer shall I slaughter hordes of somewhat innocent people that had no meaning in life in the first place! Or stalk the shadows to slit a passerby's throats of to obtain keys to a simple door that I could probably knock down with a single punch yet I choose to make it more fun with a few deaths! Or fly down like an angel of death upon beautiful women such as yourself with my Masamune, impaling them like a knife in butter only with blood spewing about the place! No longer am I the insane meglomaniacle fiend that takes pleasure in wielding the tapestry of creation to focus pure energy into reality through nothing more than my own will, the rush of electricity through my being, the power of being godly! Dear gods! The Power!!! IT'S THE ONLY TIME IN WHICH I FEEL ALIVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Sephiroth howled with his arms raised in a 'I-am-godly-fear-me' sort of way. He finished with several tides of maniacal evil laughter. Aeris interrupted him by clearing her throat, causing Sephiroth to be brought back to the real world. "Eheheheh. Soooooo, now that I'm a changed man, that means I'm free to leave, right?
"Ahahahah no. No, I don't think you are truly ready to be released into society." Aeris said before going into a mock delightful tone. "But, do you truly think I'm. beautiful?"
"Err. Well, I guess soooo... Yes, yes you are! You're so hot, I would do you. Now am I free?!" His eyes were full of eagerness.
"Oh Sephy!!! I love you too!" Aeris was crying out in more mock delight as she leapt into Sephiroth, knocking him to the ground, all the while grasping onto him. " Oh, we can get married, have lots and lots of children! Better yet, WE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND FILL IT FULL OF OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!"
"Are you serious, you want to take over the world with me?! Why the hell DID I kill you?! YES! NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! SEX, GODLY POWER, AND WORLD DOMINATION!!! Let us go and advance further in this evil plot!" Sephiroth shouted out loud as he picked himself up with Aeris in his arms. (He's still wearing the stripping cop costume.)
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!! TAKE YOUR OBSSESIVE DEMONIC HOBIES AND SHOVE IT!!!" A neighbor on the other side of Aeris' garden was heard screaming at them. A long silent moment passed with Sephiroth holding Aeris in his arms and them both staring at where the voice came from. 'Sweat drops.'
"YOU'RE THE FIRST TO BE IN THE LINE OF THE SLAUGHTERING OF HUMANS!!!" Sephiroth screamed back. Aeris jumped out of his arms and produced her battle staff, only for it to collide up the side of Sephiroth's head. Sephiroth twitched on the ground in front of the convinced driven Aeris who then leaned on her staff.
"I knew the whole 'I'm a changed man, I should be free' act was all put on as a last and desperate resort to escape my grasp. All I needed to do to prove my assumption was true was to put on the little act that would not even be turned down by you. HA! Like I would want to rule the world with a jerk like you!" Aeris said, kicking his arm harder than she meant to.
"Y, you. are. purely evil. or good. aw, shit. Damn and I was so close." Sephiroth said, rubbing his face. " If you see any teeth, they're mine."
"You didn't fool me for a second, and you're not missing any teeth. Although, you did make me think you were queer, that would have explain the Panteen Pro-V hair." Aeris said, stroking her staff unconsciously.
"I. AM. NOT. GAY!!!" Sephiroth growled as he slowly sat up. She let out a sigh and cast Cure 2 on him. "You wanna go upstairs and see just how 'gay' I am?! When I finish doing you, you'd be coming back for more!
"In your dreams and my nightmares!" Aeris' face went as red as her jacket before she slapped him.
"What?! I'm just trying to prove I'm straight!" He whined, a bit disappointed with her rejection. Aeris only turned back towards the house and walked inside shaking her head in disgust. He yelled more after her." I'll even strip before you before the sex! Yeah, that's right! I'll give YOU a 'happy birthday present' that you'll never forget!"
"You're so disgusting, you pervert!" Aeris screamed at him from within the house. "Don't make me use the shock collar!"
"Whatever." Sephiroth muttered with a smug look plastered on his face. He too, went inside.
Several minutes later within the house of Aeris Gainsborough.
"Come ooon." Sephiroth pressured. "No" Aeris replied as she fixed dinner. "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No"
"Damn it, YES!" Yelled a third voice from the bushes outside under the window. Aeris and Sephiroth looked at the window, then each other, and then back again. The bushes rustled slightly.
"Shhh! I think they heard you! Yet another sin will be added upon my soul if they find us." Said another familiar yet daunting voice, a bit lower toned than the first.
"Shit! Shut your own mother *$#^ing face, I'm *&%$#ing tired of hearing your damn melancholy shit!" the first voiced snapped back. A lighter could be heard snapping on then off and a few seconds later, cigarette smoke could be seen rising up from the bush. "Why the hell are we here again?"
".To give Aeris her Birthday present!" the disconsolate voice whispered with a hint of annoyance. "It's quiet in there, too quiet.Hmm. I'll be sinning if do, so you take a peak and see if they ARE having sex."
"WE AREN'T HAVING SEX!!! BOTH OF YOU, GET IN HERE NOW!" Aeris fumed, both Sephiroth and her heard everything the two had whispered. The bush rustled violently and the top of a blonde head and a raven-haired head could be seen bobbing outside of the window towards the front steps.
"Dammit!" the blonde said. Smoke trailed behind his head from the cigarette.
"I have sinned. when shall I atone?" the raven-haired one said.
"And get rid of the cigarette, Cid." Aeris said in a calmer tone.
"Dammit!"
Once the door opened two tall men walked in holding a wrapped box each. The blonde one was putting out his cigarette on the back of other gloved hand that held a rectangle yellow box with white ribbon. He had a rugged look and was in his early thirties, though he seemed a bit older. He placed the half-used cigarette back into the pack latched to his head by his goggles for later use. He had two twelve packs of beer under both arms.
"Hello Cid." Aeris greeted him with a warm smile. Though she knew, she pried at him with a conceited smile. "What brings you to the happy house of Aeris?"
"What the @$^&? Happy House Of Aeris?! That makes it sound like you own some kinda (*&$ing cult that molests kids! Anyway, got you some damn crap for your birthday. We were the only @%#$ing ones that had the goddamned balls to bring you yer presents! All them damn pussies, spiky ass blonde shit wouldn't even show his little *$%$ing head. Holy hell! I'm ganna whoop their ass when get back." Cid continued to ramble on as threw the two twelve packs of beer and Aeris' present on the counter and went into the living room and sat on the couch. One of the packs was already open and the missing beer could be found in Cid's hand, who was busy chugging it down already. Aeris was the first to break the silence after the awkward moment.
"Ooookay." Aeris said out loud, she turned to the other man that stood there silently with his usual blank expression, half-hidden by his blood- red collar of his and his black hair, woven under his headband. He wore attire of black and red with the exception of his golden claw arm on his left shoulder down and his deathly pale skin. His scarlet eyes didn't blink as Aeris stared at him for a while. "How are you Vincent?"
"A day has not gone by without my black heart present. I apologize for my presence, it tends to bring nothing but sorrow and misery." Vincent answered with no hint of emotion in his voice. He was holding a small black box with blood-red ribbon and a black rose tied down by the ribbon. He held it up to Aeris. "This Pandora's box is for your date of birth into this cruel world."
"Right. um, I thank you, Vincent. I'll open it with the other presents." Aeris said, taking his offered gift as well as Cid's and putting them next to her stairs next to the other gifts she had received from the other members of Avalanche in the mail. She looked back at Cid then Vincent, smiling. "Please, make yourself at home."
Sephiroth had been leaning on the counter the whole time, observing the two men that helped Cloud fight against him back in the Crater a while back. He didn't like the one that cursed a lot, yet as for the other man. He was OK. But he hardly spoke to him. Aeris continued cooking while Cid cursed at the TV in the other room. Vincent walked over and sat on the stool at the counter, opposite side of Sephiroth. He looked at Sephiroth, and Sephiroth looked back. Vincent nodded in an emotionless greeting. Sephiroth did the same in return. Vincent raised an eyebrow when he studied what he was wearing.
"If I may ask, why are you wearing that Sephiroth?" Vincent had a bit of enthusiasm in his voice that time he spoke.
"Oh! He's my bitch. That's his stripping outfit." Aeris smiled with a few giggles. Sephiroth hung his head in shame and pouted silently.
"..?!" Vincent stared at her with sheer disbelief, before trying to suppress his laughter, which caused Aeris to stare at him because he never laughed before. He quickly excused himself and went to the room where Cid was. Aeris and Sephiroth could both hear Cid burst into laughter as he rushed into the room with Vincent at his heels.
"So, heheh, Sephiroth, is this your new job? Aeris' birthday party entertainer?" Cid asked before erupting into laughter. Vincent hid behind him snickering madly. Even Aeris couldn't hold it in any longer. Sephiroth stood there, using all his will power to not attack them and kill them all. Cid continued making fun of Sephiroth for several minutes as everyone laughed after each comment. "Hey, Oh mighty general, I like your hat!" He shook with rage when he turned to Aeris who had tears in her eyes from all the laughing.
"Hey Aeris, make this guy shut up!" Sephiroth growled at the giggling girl. She couldn't stop laughing.
"Hey Aeris, make this guy kiss my ass!" Cid said in response. Sephiroth threw up his hands and let out a howl of fury.
"UHHG! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL!" Sephiroth said before he ran off crying, which only caused more tides of laughter.
"Would you two like to stay for dinner and some cake?" Aeris asked once the laughter died down.
"Well, I do not-" Vincent began but Cid cut him off.
"Yeah! I want some damn cake, looks good. Could I also make some tea?" Cid said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author: Hello there again, how are you? I'm fine, thank you for asking. Why of course I would like some tea and candy, why thank you.
Legolas: Why is she talking to herself?
Sephiroth: She's not, she's talking to the people out there. I hope.
Link: What people?
Kuja: Why the bloody hell are we here again? Oh, and by the way, I like the both of your hair.
Sephiroth and Legolas: (fumbles with their hair at the same time) thank you.
Kain: I like blood.
Author: You really do like my fanfic? Why I am ecstatic to hear that, thank you.
Link: . There is no one out there, Miss Aeris.
Vincent: I think she lost it.
Kain: I'm thirsty, where's blood. Someone gimme blood.
Kuja: I chipped a nail (sniffles)
Legolas: Fate is so cruel.
Vincent: That's my line, elf boy.
Sephiroth: At least we have our own cage now.
Kain: blood.
Author: Maybe I should let people ask questions of my little specimens- I mean friends.
Vincent: She sorta reminds me of Hojo (cringes)
Kain: Blood.
Dante: I want to say something cool.
Author: Yes I shall. Allrighty then! People can send in questions for any one of my (kidnapped against their will and caged up in my miscellaneously located evil castle) hot, and/or, pretty guys: Sephiroth (FF7), Vincent (FF7), Kain (Blood Omen 2), Link (Zelda), Dante (Devil May Cry), Kuja (FF9), or Legolas (Lord of the Rings) I've got more down in the dungeon but they're not worth mentioning. So like, email me at: thehotmageaeris@hotmail.com or just click that pretty button on the very bottom and review the questions. I like questions.
Kain: Blood!
Legolas: . 'the hot mage Aeris?' What the crap is that?
Author: Yes, Kain. I'll give you blood. later tonight. Mwahahahaha! And Legolas watch it, or you don't get any lembas bread!
Dante: Let's rock baby! (Poses dramatically)
Author: Ooookay! Anywho. I'll need 5 more reviews! I'll be back. (Goes out and burns down the nearest Safeway.) They said it was my store and I hated it. Okay! Who's up for strip poker?
All: ME!