Chapter Twelve!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Author: (whispering and holding a candle in the dark) Well, I'm sitting her in the dark because the power went out due to insane ice problems and snow. Not that I don't like the darkness. Mmmmmmm, darkness. SUBMIT! From darkness, all hearts were born, even yours! But I have to thank you all for so many reviews! We're at a hundred now! Yeah! Stupid snow, it's because of that I have to sit here in the dark. So I'll just -
Sephiroth: (turns on the lights and startles her) Uh, what are you doing in the dark with a candle? ...
Author: The power went out, you idiot! (The others came in next to Sephiroth)
Vincent: .... No it didn't, well it did but it came back on so there isn't any use to sit in the dark anymore.
Author: Well I was just trying to raise some excitement in the audience, but oh well.... (tosses candle over her shoulder, hitting Kain and setting him ablaze)
Kain: (screaming and running around insanely) IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!! IT BUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! (Runs into the wall and falls to the ground, still burning.)
Kuja: Oh my!
Dante: Is he dead?
Sephiroth: If he did, I would so almost shed a tear. But I don't feel like it.
Author: (sniffs) Well I do, he bought me a lot of nice stuff like chocolates and candle lit dinners. I'll miss him terribly, even if he did try to drain me of all my blood after every time.
Legolas: You could have done that all with me and not have worried about the biting.... (turns away and chuckles evilly) Much.
Link: Kinky.
Author: (sniffles)
Dante: I GET TO START THE CHAPTER OFF THIS TIME!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!! START!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 12, which I already said. Duh. I love banana nut bread.
Aeris sat up in her nightgown, facing the morning sun that peaked in through her demented curtains of the spooky inn. She leisurely got dressed into her usual pink attire, distraught about what was to come once she left the confines of her room. However, she believed that it would be better just to get it over with. She put on her boots and stood up with a boost of determination.
"HA! I will get this done with and -" She was cut off by a scratching noise outside her door. She hastily walked over to the door and heard distinct whispering of men she knew all to well. When she flung open the door, six guys jumped back in shock as she glowered at them each. They gulped and stared back.
"What the hell are you six doing at MY door?!" Aeris demanded. When none of them spoke she looked at the closest. "WELL?! Sephiroth? Speak!"
"We were just seeing if you were ready." He replied. They had Sephiroth, Kuja and Legolas draw straws. Legolas stepped forward in his prettiest silver blue tunic that all the pretty elves wore when they went dating.
"He got it, right?" Aeris made sure. The rest of the guys, with the exception of Legolas nodded solemnly. Her enraged expression faded into a happy and cheerful one instantly. "Oh! Okay!"
Legolas held out his arm in escorting fashion and she took it and they almost skipped out of the hotel. The five remained at the door of her room, watching them go down to the graves and jumping down one. The group dispersed and four of them went off in their own direction while one just stood. Kain stood, covered in bruises and bandages from last night's misunderstanding, and he looked rather put out from the reaction of the other three.
"So, I take it that you four aren't going to go spy on him while he's with her, and yet you came and interrupted our date, eh?!" Kain said, almost shouting. The others looked at him suspiciously.
"Legolas is too much of a goody-goody elf, like Link here. He wouldn't dare put the moves on her." Dante said, for once sounding civil, maybe the beer wore off.
"Yeah, no need to bother." Sephiroth agreed. Cid walked into the room, half awake and no where near sober, interrupting the argument that was beginning to flame up.
"Dude...... Dude? ...... DUDE! Where is Aeris?!" Cid asked, half spastic on the question and at the same time, half confused as hell.
"Um, she's out dating Legolas." Kuja said. Cid looked at him, swaying as if he was going fall down, then looked at his cigarette-less hand.
"F(%#, I need a smoke!" Cid muttered, staggering out of the room.
"I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed there would be no more war..... Anyways... Where was I? Ah, yes! Well let me tell you something from experience!" Kain began. "It's always the good little boys that cause the most trouble! Just like how King William the Just and he ended up being the Nemesis, but you wouldn't know this. I'm older than all of you!"
"OH YEAH?" Dante asked challengingly. He pointed at a confused keebler elf. "Are you older than elf boy here?"
"Of course!"
"NO you are NOT! He's an elf! He's immortal so he's older than you!" Dante remarked.
"Phhht! He's not older than me! I'm a couple hundred years older! SO RESPECT YOUR DAMN ELDERS, BOY!"
"Actually, he is older, I'm only nineteen." Link pointed out shyly. Dante looked at him dumbfounded with surprise. "And I'm not immortal, that is Leggy-Chan."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Legolas: DON'T EVEN F(^$ING START THE NAME THINGY AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Aeris: Want some cotton candy, Leggy-poo? (Snuggles up to his chest)
Legolas: (blushes) Why certainly!
Elisha: (walks in with Jack Sparrow) HEYA!!! How's it going, my fellow alien baked goods?
Jack: (mumbles something like Ozzy Osborne while waving about his hands as if he were drunk) Savvy?
Elisha: OH I LOVE YOU TOO! (huggles him, snaps Aeris' bra and runs off with Jack, leaving Aeris and Legolas to stare after them)
Aeris: What the ^($#ing hell was that?! They're not supposed to be in here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"BUT YOU'RE AN ELF!" Dante cried.
"And you're idiots." Kain muttered
Kuja, Link, Dante and Sephiroth all looked at each other and then looked at Kain.
"Let's get him!" Kuja said, they all let out a war cry and attacked. Kain was prepared and he pulled out his Soul Reaver and attacked them. Soon they were dog piling each other, sticking one another with their weapons and everyone was getting hurt. Blood was spewing, bones splintering, internal organs rupturing.... Ah, the after holiday effect. Who's up for left over eggnog?!
Not Far Off in Gold Saucer....... Something is tickling my eye... IT'S THE LAWN GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris was busy smiling and hugging Legolas' arm as he walked her around Gold Saucer. It was rather pretty in the morning with the sky a bright pink and the stars fading from the sun's light while the moon hung transparently in the dawning sky. She let out a sigh and thought that this would be the best date of all with the handsome elvish prince that was the first to pop out of nowhere. She couldn't wait for the fun to start. She mindlessly cuddled to his arm as they walked about directionless for about twenty minutes. Finally, Legolas was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to do something.
"Uh, when are you going to decide where to go?" Legolas asked, timid about angering the girl.
"Oh! I thought you were leading. Fine, let's go to the roller coaster ride, we probably will have only enough time for one ride since we spent half the date enjoying the sunrise. Then, we can go on the Gondola. It will be so fun!" Aeris giggled and almost literally dragged him to the entrance of the traveling tubes (that's what I'm going to call them from now on! Damn it!) Aeris stopped short, however, when she noticed a young girl dragging gagged and chained up men, about four of them. She wondered briefly how a teenage girl her size could haul that much weight until she recognized the approaching girl.
"YUFFIE?!" Aeris cried out in astonishment as the young ninja jumped at her name being called and noticed Aeris. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Errr, uh, um, shopping?" Yuffie lied. Aeris noticed that Yuffie had somehow kidnapped and gagged Vincent, Tseng, Kuja and Cloud.
"Why do you have Vincent, Tseng, Kuja and... Oh! Hey Cloud, long time, no see!" Aeris waved to him before turning her attention back to Yuffie. She squinted at her, and eyed her carefully, feeling that something was out of whack. Suddenly, she gasped and grabbed Yuffie's face and pulled. Sure enough, it came off, revealing another someone that she knew. "ELISHA?! What the hell?! You aren't supposed to be here!"
"Yeah, well, what the hell, here am I though. And grabbing a few guys." Elisha said, pointing a thumb at the four guys. Kuja was trying to scream but his shrieks for help were muffled by the gag in his mouth. Cloud looked as if he had a mixture of a pleased and also a distressed look when he saw Aeris. Tseng sounded as if he was trying to scream something like 'The Clones!' as he looked at Legolas but the gag restricted it. Vincent, however, was calm and looked rather annoyed.
"Uh, okay? Well, we're off on our date, so have fun! But I'm going to need Vincent and Kuja for later on in the story." Aeris told her, "So drop 'em off at the inn at, let's say.... Two?"
"Sure! Though, I will have them again after you're through with them... MWAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" Elisha cackled evilly, causing the gagged men to be terrified at what horror the young teen had in store for them. Though I don't think they'd mind, since they're men and Elisha is quite beautiful and irresistible... (When I say that, does that make me a lesbian?) THE TROGDOOR! They exchanged their goodbyes and parted. Finally, Aeris and Legolas were before the roller coaster and buying tickets. The employee woman strapped them in and the ride began. Aeris realized that it might not have been a great idea, remembering how Link blew chunks earlier yesterday. She just hoped he wouldn't. Soon, they were speeding through the ride.
"WHHHHEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Aeris squealed and turned to Legolas as the ride slowed a bit. "Hey! Having fun?" He shrugged. "You know, you're supposed to shoot the creatures that appear up ahead" She turned back and took the laser gun and aimed at the balloon-like things that appeared. She began to hear a twang-twang sound from behind her. When she turned, she saw Legolas launching off arrows from his bow, shooting everything with a layer of arrows. He seemed to have hit something electronic, setting it igniting a fire. Aeris blink before screaming at him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?"
"I'm killing them like you said to!" He replied, the ride sped up and did a few twirls on the tracks or whatever before coming up to the exit area. They hurried off and walked away, trying not to get noticed as the employees ran to see why the ride was on fire and everything shot with arrows. They got to the travel tube and jumped down the one that led to the Gondola.
At the Gondola....
Aeris and Legolas boarded it and sat down. The ride began. The fireworks exploded. Legolas made a move on Aeris. Aeris got uncomfortable and smacked him hard, knocking him out. The ride stopped. Aeris dragged Legs all the way back to the haunted hotel. Aeris dropped the elf onto the ground once she arrived. The next date had been selected. The boys wondered why Legolas was unconscious. The chosen one escorted Aeris out of the hotel.
In the Hotel still......
The boys were looking over the beaten unconscious body of Legolas, poking it every now and then with a stick. Kain let out a 'ha!' and stuck up his head. The other guys knew what he was going to say.
"I told you so! But will you listen?! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Screw the vampire, you say! The vampire's always wrong! Idiots." He walked off. The manager of the hotel walked up to them and cleared his throat, which had a noose securely around it for costume.
"Excuse me, sirs, but I must ask you to leave for the next two hours." The manager said.
"What? Why?" Link asked.
"It's been reserved for one of our VIP guests. Please, I must ask for your cooperation." He said in reply.
"Fine, we'll leave. C'mon guys! Let's go party somewhere!" Dante yelled, they gathered up Legolas' body and left after Kain.
Back with the Aeris and her date.......
"Soooooo... What're we going to do?" Aeris asked her date. He turned to her slowly with a seductive smile upon his lips, beautiful silver locks caressing his equally beautiful complexion, and enchanting green eyes that glowed with the power of mako infused into his strong body. (yep, it's SEPHY!)
"Come with me." Sephiroth said smoothly, sending a chill down her spine as he took her hand and led her off to the traveling tubes, leaping into one. They came to the arcade area which was back to normal. Nobody seemed to notice Sephiroth as he and Aeris went over to the newest game which Aeris begged Sephiroth to try with her: the Dance Dance Revolution Pad!!!! There was a long line, but Sephiroth went directly to the front of it, Aeris followed. A lady was at a booth next to the game as a person paid her to try the game. Sephiroth pushed the person out of the way and went for the dance pad, dragging Aeris with him.
"Excuse me, sir! You have to pay for the use of the game and you must wait your turn!" the woman said, angrily.
"My woman and I shall be playing it free of charge tonight, so hold your tongue, wence!" Sephiroth spat at her.
"SIR! I must ask you to wait in - " She started up again but Sephiroth cut in.
"Do you not know who I am?!" Sephiroth demanded of the employee.
"Uh, Sephy, dear, I don't think this is - " Aeris put her hand on his arm to try and calm him.
"I am the former general of Shinra! I am Sephiroth!" Sephiroth raised his voice a bit louder. "You WILL let us through!"
"I'm sorry sir, the Cosplay convention in being held tomorrow night in the Event Square. I'm afraid you can't just waltz in her without paying." The employee woman said calmly. Dante just happened to walk by with Link. The woman noticed him as the two waved at Sephiroth and Aeris.
"MY GOD! IT'S SEPHIROTH! HE'S COME TO KILL US!" the woman screamed at the sight of Dante in Sephiroth's uniform, pointing at him crazily.
"Sup." Dante said as he now stood next to Aeris and Sephiroth with Link.
"WHAT THE F(%#?!?!?!?! I AM THE GREAT LORD SEPHIROTH, BITCH, NOT HIM!!!!!!! REMEMBER THAT WHEN IT WILL BE I THAT BRINGS DOWN UPON YOU AND ALL THE DESTRUCTION OF MAN AND THIS PITIFUL PLANET!!!!!!!" Sephiroth drew his Masamune as he roared at the employee, who was just staring at him, forgetting about Dante for a split second. When he stop screaming at her, she refocused back on Dante and let out a scream and ran. Everyone else besides Sephiroth, Aeris, Dante and Link ran out screaming too. Sephiroth was furious. 'Mental note to self: slaughter the employee woman and kill everyone in Gold Saucer after I'm finished with this date!!!!'
"Well, now that there's no line; let's play, Sephy!" Aeris chimed, grabbing him and pulling him up with her to dance. They played for about twenty minutes and left, leaving Dante and Link to enjoy the game. Aeris and Sephiroth went back to the travel tubes, chatting on the way. "I must say, Sephy, you did rather well on the game. I'm surprised, now wasn't that fun?"
"Sure." He replied as they hopped down the tube followed by Aeris. "It was rather childish, I think. It's no more than a pattern of erythematic footwork. It's quite common in some sword play." They came out of the tube in front of the Haunted hotel.
"Why'd we go here? I thought Dante said that this place was being used by some VIP guest or something." Aeris said. Sephiroth turned and bowed to her and held out his arm in a charming manner.
"I am the one that reserved it for our date." Sephiroth told her. 'After promising them I would spare their pitiful little lives, Mwahahahah!'
Aeris saw him shake from his internal laughter and was a bit worried, yet took his arm anyways. They walked up to the doors, which opened up for them by the employees and were escorted to the dining room by a man, presumably some hired butler. Sephiroth disappeared for several minutes as Aeris sat down. He reappeared wearing a black tux and a billowing cape-like thing, something that you'd expect a count to wear. Aeris gave a nervous little laugh as he approached the table and bowed.
"What's with the get up? Is Kain rubbing off on you, Count Sephiroth?" Aeris asked playfully, he only laughed at her reply.
Once he was seated, the food came piling out from the kitchen and placed on trays around the small round table that Sephiroth and Aeris occupied. Aeris was allowed to choose from all the food that she wanted as the butler served her. Sephiroth didn't pick and choose, however, the butler before hand served him. Aeris wondered if he had already told the butler what he wanted. They ate in silence, Sephiroth watched her every move with great care, making her a bit more nervous. The butler served them the finest wine and waited on them hand and foot until they were through, taking the dishes into the kitchen once the couple was finished. Finally, Sephiroth stood and took Aeris' hand.
"So you like to dance?" he asked as he led her out to the entranceway, which was cleared out for the purpose, or so it seemed. The butler put on various eighteen century music pieces and they started waltzing. This waltzing didn't stop until half an hour later, and Aeris was totally wiped out. He asked if she needed a rest and when she said yes, he agreed and joined her at the table again. Intently gazing at her, he spoke again. "Let us go to the Gondola, I have something I wish to say to you."
"Um, okay." Aeris replied, not sure what would happen. She felt a bit strange that she was on a date with someone that murdered her relentlessly. She thought to herself a bit. 'Well, this is totally ironic.'
Ten minutes later inside the Gondola, Aeris and Sephiroth sat on the wooden benches. He watched her as she gazed at the fireworks like she always did. He looked away, his heart pounding wildly in his chest and his face blushing madly as the fireworks went off in the background rather obnoxiously, yet he pushed himself to speak.
"Um, Aeris? I know this might be a bit weird for you right now, since I did kill you, but I just... I just wanted you to know that you... Um, you, uh... I really, really like you. Ugh! I sound like a fool, I know and I'm sorry, but I can't hold it in any longer. Actually, I don't just like you, I think I'm in love with you, if this is love. You're so beautiful and cheerful and smart and... I'm so sorry, you probably hate me for me being so evil, and if you do hate me, I can understand. I'll just leave you alone if you do, but if you have any feelings for me at all, I'm willing to try and-" At last, Sephiroth had the courage to look up at her to see her expression. However, his heart slumped when he saw her still looking out the window squinting in pain as she was plugging her ears as the fireworks began to die down. She turned back to him and unplugged her ears.
".... Did you say something a bit ago? I'm sorry, the fireworks were really loud." He let out a low cry of anguish and buried his face in his hands. The ride stopped and Sephiroth hurried off and walked back towards the travel tube with his head hung in humiliation. Aeris knew he must have said something and kept prodding at him for whatever it was. "What?! Are you feeling okay? If you said something, I'm listening now. What did you say? Come on! I said I'm sorry, what did you say? Please! Say it! I'm right here. What did you say?!!!"
"NOTHING! I SAID NOTHING TO YOU, DAMMIT! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!" Sephiroth snapped and ran off crying. Aeris stared after him in surprise and gave a shrugged.
Aeris got back at the hotel and saw no Sephiroth, but heard faint sobbing in one of the room upstairs. The hotel was back to normal and the guys were all there and Kuja was also wearing a tux and holding flowers as he waited for her. She was happy for two things: One, that he was wearing something made for a man and two, that he was the last date. Aeris and Kuja left together and the rest of the guys slumped down on the floor.
"Do we have to worry about Aeris with him?" Link asked Kain who was sitting in a chair.
"Nah, he's too gay, he won't last at all in this date." Kain told them.
Several hours later...... (I'm eating a graham cracker; they're good for the soul!)
The guys had fallen asleep while playing cards but were awoken when the hotel doors were kicked open. A laughing Kuja was carrying a drunken laughing Aeris who was holding flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in another. Legolas, Kain, Link, and Dante couldn't believe what they saw. Kuja's once tidy tux was completely messy and opened and his face, neck and the upper section of his chest was covered with lipstick from various kiss marks. Aeris' lipstick. Sephiroth walked down the stairs, saw this and ran back to his room crying again. Aeris and Kuja were singing the Yo Ho pirate song for no reason what so ever.
"How... When.... How... HOW?!?!?!" Legolas stuttered. Kuja carried Aeris past him and up to her room. He came back a minute later.
"I thought you were going to go do her." Dante said, regaining his wits.
"What kind of sick bastard takes advantage of a drunken lady?!?!" Kuja asked sharply. "NO! Besides, she past out when I put her on the bed."
"How the hell did YOU score and not us?!!?!? Eh?!?!?" Kain demanded viciously.
"Well, my brother, snot faced as he is, thinks he's smooth with the ladies, but he's nothing when compared to me. I know what the women really like." Kuja told them as he buttoned up his shirt with an evil grin on his pretty face. He went off up to his own room for the approaching night.
"How paradoxical." Legolas said, staring after him. "Well I'm turning in early."
"I'm getting something to eat." Dante said, heading for the kitchen. Legolas went upstairs as well.
"Me too." Kain said, heading for the nearest populace. Link just sorta walked around like a moron. Sephiroth is still crying in a closet somewhere in the hotel. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author: SO! You like chappy? Hmmmmmmmmm? Well, I think it sucked, personally.
Sephiroth: You wrote it.
Author: That's why it sucks.
Kuja: You really shouldn't put yourself down like that, it causes stress, and you know what that means....
Author: Getting drunk and eating three cans of chili and two vats of ice- cream in one sitting while pondering the meaning of life?
Kuja: uh, no... Wrinkles, love, wrinkles.
Dante: Hahah! Aeris/author's got wrinkles! SHE'S AN OLD BROAD!
Author: Kain, sic him. (Kain flies and topples the laughing Dante) Good boy! Well, it seems someone has a question for me.... It's from Marksman. YO! (goes into a spasm of laughter and sounds like Alfred Ashford from Resident Evil Code Veronica Director's Cut Hyper Slash Dualshock Flash Edition...... X.)
Alfred: MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!! Clair Redfield! How dare you try to destroy my family's company, Umbrella.INC?! I'm going use my sniper riffle; Aim; AND MISS! MWHAHAHAHAH! (Dresses up in drag and runs off laughing like my insomniac-like grandma)
Nemesis: STAAAAAARRRRSSSSSSSSS!
Author: Anyways, the question is for Sephiroth. AHEM! "Will you fight me for the love of Aeris?"
Sephiroth:....
Author: (Blinks at him innocently with her eyes all glassy and irresistible looking) Well?
Sephiroth: .... Hell no! You can have her! She ain't worth it though.
Author: ...WHAT?????????!?!?!??!!?!!!!!!!!!!?!?!???????!?!?!?! (Picks up a possum and beats him with it.)
Vincent: You know? I wasn't in this chapter much.
Link: I know how you feel.
Cloud: Well guess what! I WAS ONLY IN THIS WHOLE FIC ONCE SO FAR! GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!!
Vincent: I'm surprised, I thought Cloud would be wearing the dress.
Sephiroth: (gets up and pushes Aeris/Author away and draws his sword) CLOUD!!!
Cloud: (Now wearing a dress. Draws his Ultima weapon) SEPHIROTH!!! (They immediately attack one another like that cool Kingdom Hearts clip that only I saw, because I have people that know things. HA!)
Legolas: Uh, shouldn't we stop em?
Kuja: Nah, sooner or later, they'll have bled enough for them to faint, then we can take care of the bodies. I like his dress, I wonder if it'd fit me?
Kain: (is watching Interview with the Vampire) .... Lastat is da man! I have a new role model now!
Author: Well until next chapter (does Spock's hand gesture) Live Long and Prosper, as the space elves like to say. Ten more reviews! Later!
Author: (whispering and holding a candle in the dark) Well, I'm sitting her in the dark because the power went out due to insane ice problems and snow. Not that I don't like the darkness. Mmmmmmm, darkness. SUBMIT! From darkness, all hearts were born, even yours! But I have to thank you all for so many reviews! We're at a hundred now! Yeah! Stupid snow, it's because of that I have to sit here in the dark. So I'll just -
Sephiroth: (turns on the lights and startles her) Uh, what are you doing in the dark with a candle? ...
Author: The power went out, you idiot! (The others came in next to Sephiroth)
Vincent: .... No it didn't, well it did but it came back on so there isn't any use to sit in the dark anymore.
Author: Well I was just trying to raise some excitement in the audience, but oh well.... (tosses candle over her shoulder, hitting Kain and setting him ablaze)
Kain: (screaming and running around insanely) IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!! IT BUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! (Runs into the wall and falls to the ground, still burning.)
Kuja: Oh my!
Dante: Is he dead?
Sephiroth: If he did, I would so almost shed a tear. But I don't feel like it.
Author: (sniffs) Well I do, he bought me a lot of nice stuff like chocolates and candle lit dinners. I'll miss him terribly, even if he did try to drain me of all my blood after every time.
Legolas: You could have done that all with me and not have worried about the biting.... (turns away and chuckles evilly) Much.
Link: Kinky.
Author: (sniffles)
Dante: I GET TO START THE CHAPTER OFF THIS TIME!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!! START!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 12, which I already said. Duh. I love banana nut bread.
Aeris sat up in her nightgown, facing the morning sun that peaked in through her demented curtains of the spooky inn. She leisurely got dressed into her usual pink attire, distraught about what was to come once she left the confines of her room. However, she believed that it would be better just to get it over with. She put on her boots and stood up with a boost of determination.
"HA! I will get this done with and -" She was cut off by a scratching noise outside her door. She hastily walked over to the door and heard distinct whispering of men she knew all to well. When she flung open the door, six guys jumped back in shock as she glowered at them each. They gulped and stared back.
"What the hell are you six doing at MY door?!" Aeris demanded. When none of them spoke she looked at the closest. "WELL?! Sephiroth? Speak!"
"We were just seeing if you were ready." He replied. They had Sephiroth, Kuja and Legolas draw straws. Legolas stepped forward in his prettiest silver blue tunic that all the pretty elves wore when they went dating.
"He got it, right?" Aeris made sure. The rest of the guys, with the exception of Legolas nodded solemnly. Her enraged expression faded into a happy and cheerful one instantly. "Oh! Okay!"
Legolas held out his arm in escorting fashion and she took it and they almost skipped out of the hotel. The five remained at the door of her room, watching them go down to the graves and jumping down one. The group dispersed and four of them went off in their own direction while one just stood. Kain stood, covered in bruises and bandages from last night's misunderstanding, and he looked rather put out from the reaction of the other three.
"So, I take it that you four aren't going to go spy on him while he's with her, and yet you came and interrupted our date, eh?!" Kain said, almost shouting. The others looked at him suspiciously.
"Legolas is too much of a goody-goody elf, like Link here. He wouldn't dare put the moves on her." Dante said, for once sounding civil, maybe the beer wore off.
"Yeah, no need to bother." Sephiroth agreed. Cid walked into the room, half awake and no where near sober, interrupting the argument that was beginning to flame up.
"Dude...... Dude? ...... DUDE! Where is Aeris?!" Cid asked, half spastic on the question and at the same time, half confused as hell.
"Um, she's out dating Legolas." Kuja said. Cid looked at him, swaying as if he was going fall down, then looked at his cigarette-less hand.
"F(%#, I need a smoke!" Cid muttered, staggering out of the room.
"I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed there would be no more war..... Anyways... Where was I? Ah, yes! Well let me tell you something from experience!" Kain began. "It's always the good little boys that cause the most trouble! Just like how King William the Just and he ended up being the Nemesis, but you wouldn't know this. I'm older than all of you!"
"OH YEAH?" Dante asked challengingly. He pointed at a confused keebler elf. "Are you older than elf boy here?"
"Of course!"
"NO you are NOT! He's an elf! He's immortal so he's older than you!" Dante remarked.
"Phhht! He's not older than me! I'm a couple hundred years older! SO RESPECT YOUR DAMN ELDERS, BOY!"
"Actually, he is older, I'm only nineteen." Link pointed out shyly. Dante looked at him dumbfounded with surprise. "And I'm not immortal, that is Leggy-Chan."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Legolas: DON'T EVEN F(^$ING START THE NAME THINGY AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Aeris: Want some cotton candy, Leggy-poo? (Snuggles up to his chest)
Legolas: (blushes) Why certainly!
Elisha: (walks in with Jack Sparrow) HEYA!!! How's it going, my fellow alien baked goods?
Jack: (mumbles something like Ozzy Osborne while waving about his hands as if he were drunk) Savvy?
Elisha: OH I LOVE YOU TOO! (huggles him, snaps Aeris' bra and runs off with Jack, leaving Aeris and Legolas to stare after them)
Aeris: What the ^($#ing hell was that?! They're not supposed to be in here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"BUT YOU'RE AN ELF!" Dante cried.
"And you're idiots." Kain muttered
Kuja, Link, Dante and Sephiroth all looked at each other and then looked at Kain.
"Let's get him!" Kuja said, they all let out a war cry and attacked. Kain was prepared and he pulled out his Soul Reaver and attacked them. Soon they were dog piling each other, sticking one another with their weapons and everyone was getting hurt. Blood was spewing, bones splintering, internal organs rupturing.... Ah, the after holiday effect. Who's up for left over eggnog?!
Not Far Off in Gold Saucer....... Something is tickling my eye... IT'S THE LAWN GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris was busy smiling and hugging Legolas' arm as he walked her around Gold Saucer. It was rather pretty in the morning with the sky a bright pink and the stars fading from the sun's light while the moon hung transparently in the dawning sky. She let out a sigh and thought that this would be the best date of all with the handsome elvish prince that was the first to pop out of nowhere. She couldn't wait for the fun to start. She mindlessly cuddled to his arm as they walked about directionless for about twenty minutes. Finally, Legolas was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to do something.
"Uh, when are you going to decide where to go?" Legolas asked, timid about angering the girl.
"Oh! I thought you were leading. Fine, let's go to the roller coaster ride, we probably will have only enough time for one ride since we spent half the date enjoying the sunrise. Then, we can go on the Gondola. It will be so fun!" Aeris giggled and almost literally dragged him to the entrance of the traveling tubes (that's what I'm going to call them from now on! Damn it!) Aeris stopped short, however, when she noticed a young girl dragging gagged and chained up men, about four of them. She wondered briefly how a teenage girl her size could haul that much weight until she recognized the approaching girl.
"YUFFIE?!" Aeris cried out in astonishment as the young ninja jumped at her name being called and noticed Aeris. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Errr, uh, um, shopping?" Yuffie lied. Aeris noticed that Yuffie had somehow kidnapped and gagged Vincent, Tseng, Kuja and Cloud.
"Why do you have Vincent, Tseng, Kuja and... Oh! Hey Cloud, long time, no see!" Aeris waved to him before turning her attention back to Yuffie. She squinted at her, and eyed her carefully, feeling that something was out of whack. Suddenly, she gasped and grabbed Yuffie's face and pulled. Sure enough, it came off, revealing another someone that she knew. "ELISHA?! What the hell?! You aren't supposed to be here!"
"Yeah, well, what the hell, here am I though. And grabbing a few guys." Elisha said, pointing a thumb at the four guys. Kuja was trying to scream but his shrieks for help were muffled by the gag in his mouth. Cloud looked as if he had a mixture of a pleased and also a distressed look when he saw Aeris. Tseng sounded as if he was trying to scream something like 'The Clones!' as he looked at Legolas but the gag restricted it. Vincent, however, was calm and looked rather annoyed.
"Uh, okay? Well, we're off on our date, so have fun! But I'm going to need Vincent and Kuja for later on in the story." Aeris told her, "So drop 'em off at the inn at, let's say.... Two?"
"Sure! Though, I will have them again after you're through with them... MWAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" Elisha cackled evilly, causing the gagged men to be terrified at what horror the young teen had in store for them. Though I don't think they'd mind, since they're men and Elisha is quite beautiful and irresistible... (When I say that, does that make me a lesbian?) THE TROGDOOR! They exchanged their goodbyes and parted. Finally, Aeris and Legolas were before the roller coaster and buying tickets. The employee woman strapped them in and the ride began. Aeris realized that it might not have been a great idea, remembering how Link blew chunks earlier yesterday. She just hoped he wouldn't. Soon, they were speeding through the ride.
"WHHHHEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Aeris squealed and turned to Legolas as the ride slowed a bit. "Hey! Having fun?" He shrugged. "You know, you're supposed to shoot the creatures that appear up ahead" She turned back and took the laser gun and aimed at the balloon-like things that appeared. She began to hear a twang-twang sound from behind her. When she turned, she saw Legolas launching off arrows from his bow, shooting everything with a layer of arrows. He seemed to have hit something electronic, setting it igniting a fire. Aeris blink before screaming at him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?"
"I'm killing them like you said to!" He replied, the ride sped up and did a few twirls on the tracks or whatever before coming up to the exit area. They hurried off and walked away, trying not to get noticed as the employees ran to see why the ride was on fire and everything shot with arrows. They got to the travel tube and jumped down the one that led to the Gondola.
At the Gondola....
Aeris and Legolas boarded it and sat down. The ride began. The fireworks exploded. Legolas made a move on Aeris. Aeris got uncomfortable and smacked him hard, knocking him out. The ride stopped. Aeris dragged Legs all the way back to the haunted hotel. Aeris dropped the elf onto the ground once she arrived. The next date had been selected. The boys wondered why Legolas was unconscious. The chosen one escorted Aeris out of the hotel.
In the Hotel still......
The boys were looking over the beaten unconscious body of Legolas, poking it every now and then with a stick. Kain let out a 'ha!' and stuck up his head. The other guys knew what he was going to say.
"I told you so! But will you listen?! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Screw the vampire, you say! The vampire's always wrong! Idiots." He walked off. The manager of the hotel walked up to them and cleared his throat, which had a noose securely around it for costume.
"Excuse me, sirs, but I must ask you to leave for the next two hours." The manager said.
"What? Why?" Link asked.
"It's been reserved for one of our VIP guests. Please, I must ask for your cooperation." He said in reply.
"Fine, we'll leave. C'mon guys! Let's go party somewhere!" Dante yelled, they gathered up Legolas' body and left after Kain.
Back with the Aeris and her date.......
"Soooooo... What're we going to do?" Aeris asked her date. He turned to her slowly with a seductive smile upon his lips, beautiful silver locks caressing his equally beautiful complexion, and enchanting green eyes that glowed with the power of mako infused into his strong body. (yep, it's SEPHY!)
"Come with me." Sephiroth said smoothly, sending a chill down her spine as he took her hand and led her off to the traveling tubes, leaping into one. They came to the arcade area which was back to normal. Nobody seemed to notice Sephiroth as he and Aeris went over to the newest game which Aeris begged Sephiroth to try with her: the Dance Dance Revolution Pad!!!! There was a long line, but Sephiroth went directly to the front of it, Aeris followed. A lady was at a booth next to the game as a person paid her to try the game. Sephiroth pushed the person out of the way and went for the dance pad, dragging Aeris with him.
"Excuse me, sir! You have to pay for the use of the game and you must wait your turn!" the woman said, angrily.
"My woman and I shall be playing it free of charge tonight, so hold your tongue, wence!" Sephiroth spat at her.
"SIR! I must ask you to wait in - " She started up again but Sephiroth cut in.
"Do you not know who I am?!" Sephiroth demanded of the employee.
"Uh, Sephy, dear, I don't think this is - " Aeris put her hand on his arm to try and calm him.
"I am the former general of Shinra! I am Sephiroth!" Sephiroth raised his voice a bit louder. "You WILL let us through!"
"I'm sorry sir, the Cosplay convention in being held tomorrow night in the Event Square. I'm afraid you can't just waltz in her without paying." The employee woman said calmly. Dante just happened to walk by with Link. The woman noticed him as the two waved at Sephiroth and Aeris.
"MY GOD! IT'S SEPHIROTH! HE'S COME TO KILL US!" the woman screamed at the sight of Dante in Sephiroth's uniform, pointing at him crazily.
"Sup." Dante said as he now stood next to Aeris and Sephiroth with Link.
"WHAT THE F(%#?!?!?!?! I AM THE GREAT LORD SEPHIROTH, BITCH, NOT HIM!!!!!!! REMEMBER THAT WHEN IT WILL BE I THAT BRINGS DOWN UPON YOU AND ALL THE DESTRUCTION OF MAN AND THIS PITIFUL PLANET!!!!!!!" Sephiroth drew his Masamune as he roared at the employee, who was just staring at him, forgetting about Dante for a split second. When he stop screaming at her, she refocused back on Dante and let out a scream and ran. Everyone else besides Sephiroth, Aeris, Dante and Link ran out screaming too. Sephiroth was furious. 'Mental note to self: slaughter the employee woman and kill everyone in Gold Saucer after I'm finished with this date!!!!'
"Well, now that there's no line; let's play, Sephy!" Aeris chimed, grabbing him and pulling him up with her to dance. They played for about twenty minutes and left, leaving Dante and Link to enjoy the game. Aeris and Sephiroth went back to the travel tubes, chatting on the way. "I must say, Sephy, you did rather well on the game. I'm surprised, now wasn't that fun?"
"Sure." He replied as they hopped down the tube followed by Aeris. "It was rather childish, I think. It's no more than a pattern of erythematic footwork. It's quite common in some sword play." They came out of the tube in front of the Haunted hotel.
"Why'd we go here? I thought Dante said that this place was being used by some VIP guest or something." Aeris said. Sephiroth turned and bowed to her and held out his arm in a charming manner.
"I am the one that reserved it for our date." Sephiroth told her. 'After promising them I would spare their pitiful little lives, Mwahahahah!'
Aeris saw him shake from his internal laughter and was a bit worried, yet took his arm anyways. They walked up to the doors, which opened up for them by the employees and were escorted to the dining room by a man, presumably some hired butler. Sephiroth disappeared for several minutes as Aeris sat down. He reappeared wearing a black tux and a billowing cape-like thing, something that you'd expect a count to wear. Aeris gave a nervous little laugh as he approached the table and bowed.
"What's with the get up? Is Kain rubbing off on you, Count Sephiroth?" Aeris asked playfully, he only laughed at her reply.
Once he was seated, the food came piling out from the kitchen and placed on trays around the small round table that Sephiroth and Aeris occupied. Aeris was allowed to choose from all the food that she wanted as the butler served her. Sephiroth didn't pick and choose, however, the butler before hand served him. Aeris wondered if he had already told the butler what he wanted. They ate in silence, Sephiroth watched her every move with great care, making her a bit more nervous. The butler served them the finest wine and waited on them hand and foot until they were through, taking the dishes into the kitchen once the couple was finished. Finally, Sephiroth stood and took Aeris' hand.
"So you like to dance?" he asked as he led her out to the entranceway, which was cleared out for the purpose, or so it seemed. The butler put on various eighteen century music pieces and they started waltzing. This waltzing didn't stop until half an hour later, and Aeris was totally wiped out. He asked if she needed a rest and when she said yes, he agreed and joined her at the table again. Intently gazing at her, he spoke again. "Let us go to the Gondola, I have something I wish to say to you."
"Um, okay." Aeris replied, not sure what would happen. She felt a bit strange that she was on a date with someone that murdered her relentlessly. She thought to herself a bit. 'Well, this is totally ironic.'
Ten minutes later inside the Gondola, Aeris and Sephiroth sat on the wooden benches. He watched her as she gazed at the fireworks like she always did. He looked away, his heart pounding wildly in his chest and his face blushing madly as the fireworks went off in the background rather obnoxiously, yet he pushed himself to speak.
"Um, Aeris? I know this might be a bit weird for you right now, since I did kill you, but I just... I just wanted you to know that you... Um, you, uh... I really, really like you. Ugh! I sound like a fool, I know and I'm sorry, but I can't hold it in any longer. Actually, I don't just like you, I think I'm in love with you, if this is love. You're so beautiful and cheerful and smart and... I'm so sorry, you probably hate me for me being so evil, and if you do hate me, I can understand. I'll just leave you alone if you do, but if you have any feelings for me at all, I'm willing to try and-" At last, Sephiroth had the courage to look up at her to see her expression. However, his heart slumped when he saw her still looking out the window squinting in pain as she was plugging her ears as the fireworks began to die down. She turned back to him and unplugged her ears.
".... Did you say something a bit ago? I'm sorry, the fireworks were really loud." He let out a low cry of anguish and buried his face in his hands. The ride stopped and Sephiroth hurried off and walked back towards the travel tube with his head hung in humiliation. Aeris knew he must have said something and kept prodding at him for whatever it was. "What?! Are you feeling okay? If you said something, I'm listening now. What did you say? Come on! I said I'm sorry, what did you say? Please! Say it! I'm right here. What did you say?!!!"
"NOTHING! I SAID NOTHING TO YOU, DAMMIT! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!" Sephiroth snapped and ran off crying. Aeris stared after him in surprise and gave a shrugged.
Aeris got back at the hotel and saw no Sephiroth, but heard faint sobbing in one of the room upstairs. The hotel was back to normal and the guys were all there and Kuja was also wearing a tux and holding flowers as he waited for her. She was happy for two things: One, that he was wearing something made for a man and two, that he was the last date. Aeris and Kuja left together and the rest of the guys slumped down on the floor.
"Do we have to worry about Aeris with him?" Link asked Kain who was sitting in a chair.
"Nah, he's too gay, he won't last at all in this date." Kain told them.
Several hours later...... (I'm eating a graham cracker; they're good for the soul!)
The guys had fallen asleep while playing cards but were awoken when the hotel doors were kicked open. A laughing Kuja was carrying a drunken laughing Aeris who was holding flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in another. Legolas, Kain, Link, and Dante couldn't believe what they saw. Kuja's once tidy tux was completely messy and opened and his face, neck and the upper section of his chest was covered with lipstick from various kiss marks. Aeris' lipstick. Sephiroth walked down the stairs, saw this and ran back to his room crying again. Aeris and Kuja were singing the Yo Ho pirate song for no reason what so ever.
"How... When.... How... HOW?!?!?!" Legolas stuttered. Kuja carried Aeris past him and up to her room. He came back a minute later.
"I thought you were going to go do her." Dante said, regaining his wits.
"What kind of sick bastard takes advantage of a drunken lady?!?!" Kuja asked sharply. "NO! Besides, she past out when I put her on the bed."
"How the hell did YOU score and not us?!!?!? Eh?!?!?" Kain demanded viciously.
"Well, my brother, snot faced as he is, thinks he's smooth with the ladies, but he's nothing when compared to me. I know what the women really like." Kuja told them as he buttoned up his shirt with an evil grin on his pretty face. He went off up to his own room for the approaching night.
"How paradoxical." Legolas said, staring after him. "Well I'm turning in early."
"I'm getting something to eat." Dante said, heading for the kitchen. Legolas went upstairs as well.
"Me too." Kain said, heading for the nearest populace. Link just sorta walked around like a moron. Sephiroth is still crying in a closet somewhere in the hotel. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author: SO! You like chappy? Hmmmmmmmmm? Well, I think it sucked, personally.
Sephiroth: You wrote it.
Author: That's why it sucks.
Kuja: You really shouldn't put yourself down like that, it causes stress, and you know what that means....
Author: Getting drunk and eating three cans of chili and two vats of ice- cream in one sitting while pondering the meaning of life?
Kuja: uh, no... Wrinkles, love, wrinkles.
Dante: Hahah! Aeris/author's got wrinkles! SHE'S AN OLD BROAD!
Author: Kain, sic him. (Kain flies and topples the laughing Dante) Good boy! Well, it seems someone has a question for me.... It's from Marksman. YO! (goes into a spasm of laughter and sounds like Alfred Ashford from Resident Evil Code Veronica Director's Cut Hyper Slash Dualshock Flash Edition...... X.)
Alfred: MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!! Clair Redfield! How dare you try to destroy my family's company, Umbrella.INC?! I'm going use my sniper riffle; Aim; AND MISS! MWHAHAHAHAH! (Dresses up in drag and runs off laughing like my insomniac-like grandma)
Nemesis: STAAAAAARRRRSSSSSSSSS!
Author: Anyways, the question is for Sephiroth. AHEM! "Will you fight me for the love of Aeris?"
Sephiroth:....
Author: (Blinks at him innocently with her eyes all glassy and irresistible looking) Well?
Sephiroth: .... Hell no! You can have her! She ain't worth it though.
Author: ...WHAT?????????!?!?!??!!?!!!!!!!!!!?!?!???????!?!?!?! (Picks up a possum and beats him with it.)
Vincent: You know? I wasn't in this chapter much.
Link: I know how you feel.
Cloud: Well guess what! I WAS ONLY IN THIS WHOLE FIC ONCE SO FAR! GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!!
Vincent: I'm surprised, I thought Cloud would be wearing the dress.
Sephiroth: (gets up and pushes Aeris/Author away and draws his sword) CLOUD!!!
Cloud: (Now wearing a dress. Draws his Ultima weapon) SEPHIROTH!!! (They immediately attack one another like that cool Kingdom Hearts clip that only I saw, because I have people that know things. HA!)
Legolas: Uh, shouldn't we stop em?
Kuja: Nah, sooner or later, they'll have bled enough for them to faint, then we can take care of the bodies. I like his dress, I wonder if it'd fit me?
Kain: (is watching Interview with the Vampire) .... Lastat is da man! I have a new role model now!
Author: Well until next chapter (does Spock's hand gesture) Live Long and Prosper, as the space elves like to say. Ten more reviews! Later!