Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

The ride back to the plaza was unbearable. He could feel Eames' eyes on him, hear her question before she even asked it.

"Are you ok?"

There it was. Bobby couldn't count the number of times that he'd heard her utter those words, and the fact that he'd known they were coming was enough to make him sick.

"Bobby?" He could hear the concern in her voice and immediately felt guilty. Turning to face his partner, he managed to give her a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine."

His response seemed to satisfy her, and she smiled back before returning her attention to the road. Bobby went back to staring blankly out the window, thoughts flitting in and out of his busy mind.

…there was so much blood…

Rain began to fall, and he could hear the gentle swish, swish of the wipers when Alex flicked them on.

Bobby shuddered as he tried to ignore the voice. But he couldn't.

Bobby nearly jumped out of his skin when Alex slammed the door shut. Looking around, he realized that they were back at the plaza. He could see his partner looking at him quizzically outside the car, and he mentally scolded himself for being so jumpy. But it had sounded so much like the gun firing…

"C'mon Goren. Ballistics is gonna need to see your gun, then we can start in on the paper work. We'll be lucky if were outta here by sunup."

Bobby nodded and followed Alex to the elevator, and once inside, he could again feel her watching him.

He blinked, trying to keep the tears in check, trying so hard to hold onto anything that was real so he wouldn't lose it.

At there desks, Bobby tried to focus on the mountain of paperwork, subconsciously trying to justify his actions.

Alex watched him from the corner of her eye. She could honestly say that she'd never seen him like this. Bobby Goren was a complicated man who rarely let anyone into his head. His personal thoughts were his alone, and he tended to guard them rather jealously. Times like this were infuriating to Alex. She could see him struggling, drowning in his own feeling, and she was helpless to do anything about it.

"Eames." Looking up, Alex saw that Deakins was beckoning her into his office. Giving Bobby a quick reassuring look, she wearily made her way to Deakins office.

Closing the door behind her, the older man smiled. "Rough night?"

Alex sighed. "I'll say, though more for Bobby than me."

Deakins' smile faded and he nodded gravely. "I need to hear what happened in there. Hector Ramos is supposed to be sitting in lock-up right now. And I need to hear it all now before someone tries to pin it on you or Goren."

Alex took a deep breath. She had nothing to worry about. Hector had come close to killing Bobby. Her partner's actions were purely self defense.

"Bobby got up to the apartment first and had his gun drawn. We'd already heard the shots." She began, unsure of why she was feeling so nervous all of a sudden. "The kids were in one of the back rooms, and Bobby had Hector on the floor in the living room. The kids were screaming that he'd shot their sister, so I ran back there to help and radioed EMS."

Deakins interrupted her. "Did Bobby have Ramos cuffed?"

Alex nodded. "I saw him put the cuffs on him."

Deakins nodded for her to go on. "Anyway, the little girl wasn't breathing, so I started CPR. A few seconds later I heard the shot and ran back to the living room and found Hector dead." She shuddered, remembering the fear she had felt for Bobby when she heard it, and the image of him with a bullet hole in him, falling lifeless to the ground, had flashed through her brain. Instead, the scene that met her eyes was Bobby standing as if frozen, shirt covered with blood, staring down at Hector Ramos' body.

Deakins looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Make sure that's what the report says. I don't need any trouble from downtown on this. Is Goren alright?"

Alex nodded. "He said he was fine."

Her boss arched an eyebrow. "Somehow, I doubt that." Looking beyond the glass walls of the office, Alex could see that Bobby's chair was vacated, his coat gone, and paperwork neglected.

"I'll go talk to him."

Grabbing her own coat and hurrying toward the elevator, Alex hoped to find her partner somewhere within the vicinity of the building. He couldn't have gone far. He just wanted to get out of his head for a few minutes, get some air, she told herself.

Sure enough, Bobby was hunched over on a bench, holding his head in his hands. Coming up behind him, Alex gently placed a hand on his shoulder. She was startled when he shrugged it off and growled something inaudible at her.

"What?"

"Go away." He snapped. He looked up, and Alex could tell he'd been crying. Taking a seat next to him, she looked into his face.

"Bobby, seriously, you're scaring me. What the hell is wrong?"

He managed a dry chuckle. "Yeah, you think I'm scary now. You should have seen me earlier today."

"Hey, what are you…?"

"I said you're under arrest."

But he was too late. Hector lunged backwards at him before he could get the cuffs on. Bobby heard rather than saw the gun Hector pulled from his belt. He didn't have time to look for it, he knew it was there and could have sworn he heard the man pull it out of his belt. It took him only a split second to pullout his own piece and fire two rapid, close-range shots into him. Then he had watched him fall to the floor, an expression of surprise on his features. Bobby stared at the body. There was so much blood. It covered the carpet and the back of Hector's shirt, and it began to soak his pants and the gun that was still tucked into his belt. Swallowing, feeling his heart going like a trip hammer in his chest, Bobby pulled the gun out and examined it. There was no clip in it. Horrified, He dropped the useless weapon to the ground wondering what he'd done.

"Bobby…?" The concern in Alex's voice was too much for him to bear. He didn't deserve her sympathy. He had shot a defenseless man because he thought he had heard him draw a weapon.

"Eames, I..I..I killed him." He stated, and began to sob uncontrollably. He felt her wrap her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Bobby, the guy had a gun. You had no way of knowing that it wasn't loaded."

"Alex, he didn't even have the gun out. And if those kids statement are true, then Hector was innocent. I killed him." He managed to choke out, feeling the guilt begin to overwhelm him.

Alex felt for the big man. Only half an hour after the incident, Deakins had informed them that they'd apprehended a suspect whom the children had identified as their sister's killer. Hector had indeed been innocent.

Bobby rose suddenly. "I need to get outta here." He mumbled.

Alex nodded. "Go home. I'll finish all the paperwork. Try and get some rest, huh?"

She knew he wouldn't, but felt better anyway when he nodded and assured her that he would.

"Detective Goren!" As he was turning to leave, he heard the woman calling his name, and was tempted to pretend not to hear. He recognized the voice. It was Hector's wife. Drawing a shaky breath, he turned to look at face her, prepared to accept responsibility for her husband's death.

Halfway back into the building, Alex's head snapped around when she heard the screaming.

"You bastard! You killed him! Now what am I gonna do?"

She never gave him the chance to answer. Wiping the tears from her face, she pulled out a gun and fired four quick shots into Bobby.

Alex was moving before Bobby had even collapsed in a heap on the ground, her gun out. Raising it, she called "Mrs. Ramos, put the weapon down." The woman turned around sobbing her eyes out, and dropped it. Other officers came swarming out of the building to take her into custody. She offered no resistance, but kept screaming at Bobby's still form.

A sickening feeling began to form in Alex's gut as she sprinted across the plaza towards her partner. Bobby was on his back, a pool of blood spreading around him as he struggles to get air into his lungs. His eyes were glazed over, staring wonderingly at the sky as rain pelted the sidewalk all around him.

Reaching Bobby, Alex knelt down next to him, shoving her hands into the oozing wounds on his chest to slow the bleeding. "Somebody call the paramedics!" she screamed, tears mixing in with the rain as they streamed down her face.

TBC…