NC 17 ......... I MEAN Chapter 17....... Yea.......
Aeris/author: (is wearing pants, yes, not a dress but pants. And don't forget the shirt.) Yea, since I've been getting into the habit, I'm just ganna go with Aeris instead of Aeris/author. I'm working on my German homework right now so you people can like bugger off or something. (Opens German book and studies)
Link: (looks over her shoulder) ......... How do you fart in German?
Aeris: ......... -_-'
Kain, Dante, and Vincent: (walk in holding a few video game boxes)
Kain: Yea, I can't wait to play this game, the Suffering. And this game! And these other games that are extremely gory beyond compare.
Dante: Yea, these ARE extremely gory games! Especially this one; it's pretty gory, you can even blow the bits to bits!
Aeris: (keeps head down in German books) .......... Must..... Resist ..... Temptation.....
Sephiroth: (walks in w/ a piece of paper, reading it) Hmmmmmm.....
Vincent: What are you reading, son?
Sephiroth: I said to cut it out with the 'son' bit. But, I'm reading this invitation I found on a purple car.....
Akira Kijo: (walks in and begins to announce.) And then Aeris went to school that day and she got breakfast. Doodly doo, breakfast . Yum. She likes breakfast during WASL week, because her special lil' Gore-ughnor Monkey showed up early that day even though he's a senior, and doesn't need to be up that early. Anyway, she walked up to him that fateful day and handed over a pie to him, for she desires the Goughnour puppy, when he exclaimed—
Aeris: (slaps hand over Akira's mouth) SHADUP! That's too kinky! I've gotta keep the ratings down. THE RATINGS!!
Goughnour: (walks in, scratching head) I don't remember that...
Akira Kijo: Of course you wouldn't, you can't remember what's in a dream ^- ^
Aeris: Whyyyyyyyy....
Akira Kijo: Because!
Sephiroth: (clears his throat to get everyone's attention) Anyways! As I was saying.... I found this invitation on a purple car....
Goughnour: Waitaminute..... MY car is a purple color.....
Sephiroth: ANYWAYS! It's an invitation to a party in someone's pants..... (Looks right at Aeris)
Aeris: (still wearing pants, thank gawd) Eh?
Sephiroth: ............. (Smiles evilly)
Aeris: Ohhhhh, no, Ohhhhhhhhh no! That's not for you, Sephy....
Goughnour: Hmmmmmm...
Sephiroth: (reaches in Aeris' pants) WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Aeris: WHOA! Hey buddy, you weren't invited – I said MY hand, MY pants!!!!! (Smacks him with a frozen fish until he's bloody) That's known as sexual harassment!
Sephiroth: You know you liked it....
Dante: It's still sexual harassment, even if you enjoyed it.
Sephiroth: No it isn't.
Vincent: Oh that was sexual harassment all right, but in a good way, son.
Aeris: You are so not helping in this, Vinny.
Vincent: I know.
Kuja: I'm so turned on right now
Kain: O.o No, just... no, (shudders) no, oh gawds no.... (Turns around and sees Link)
Link: (sucking on a Popsicle) Hello.
Kain: (shudders again) Ewww. (Turns and sees Legolas)
Legolas: (finishes a glass of milk, leaving a distinctive white mustache) Yo.
Kain: o.O I can't take it anymore! This is too much for a straight guy to handle! I am so leaving now.
Aeris: Me too.
Goughnour: (Eats Thai food and krispy kremes) WOOT! Start the fic! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 17. I'm so confused right now, again....
Sephiroth could feel his heart pound within his chest as he slowly approached the woman of his dreams was standing before the sink in the kitchen, chopping up carrots for dinner. He used his ninja-like abilities to quietly make his way all the way behind her, as she was still unaware of his presence. She was humming a cheerful tune as he loomed up behind her like a predator on its unsuspecting prey. He swallowed the lump in his throat, bent over a bit and carefully reached for a lock of her brownish blonde hair. Suddenly, without any warning, Aeris turned around, ramming her face into his. Aeris blinked in confusion when she realized that Sephiroth's lips were on hers and he was wide-eyed and staring at her. She immediately pulled back and screamed.
"PERVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT!!!!!!!" her voice rattled things throughout the house. Sephiroth soon found the knife that she had been using on the carrots soaring straight at him. Yet, due to his matrixy reflexes, he bent out of the way, allowing the knife to stick into the wall behind him.
"WTF is wrong with you?!!? That was so not my fault!" Sephiroth screamed at her. She had her hand to her mouth with a look of confusion and rage in her eyes.
"You kissed me!" Aeris declared, still shocked.
"I didn't mean to! You turned around! I was going to give you these!" Sephiroth yelled in protest, throwing the flowers at her. She caught them and looked down at them.
"You do realize that dating game is over, don't you? Why are you wearing a Turks uniform?" Aeris asked in a calm manner as she placed the flowers on the counter.
"I'm not playing that game, I'm serious." Sephiroth told her, getting up. She stared at him, unable to speak.
'You've got her in the palm of your hand! Remember what Vincent told you!' Sephiroth's mind clicked. He tried to remember what he said.
Vincent's face float through his mind. 'Whisper sweet things to her.....'
'Sweet things?' Sephiroth was a bit confused but willing to give it a try. He stepped closer to her with his face blank, trapping her in the kitchen corner. She was quite nervous and couldn't look away from his calm face. He leaned down close, his face inches from her and softly he spoke. "Chocolate, cake, gum drops, candy, doughnuts....."
"What, are you hungry?" Aeris asked. He hung his head in reply.
'Try something else!' Sephiroth's mind screamed.
Vincent's face floated through his mind again. 'Give her your best smile.....'
Sephiroth looked back up into Aeris' eyes and did as he remembered. After a few seconds she raised an eyebrow. "Why are you glaring at me, Sephiroth?" She asked, he could hear the tension in her voice.
"I'm getting nowhere w/ this....." Sephiroth muttered. He turned around, facing away from Aeris.
"What is wrong?" Aeris asked, unsure if she wanted to know.
"Never mind. Here, I got this for you in Gold Saucer before we left." Sephiroth stepped back and pulled a box out of the Turk uniform jacket and offered it to her while thinking the whole time: 'Why isn't there some cheap and easy way to prove how much she means to me?'
Aeris opened the box and gasped at what was inside, she pulled out a small silver locket necklace from the box and lifted it up in front of her face. She smiled and put it on, touching it gently. It was shaped like a heart. She turned her attention away from the locket and back to Sephiroth smiling gleefully. Before he could say anything, Aeris leapt unto him with a squeal, toppling him to the floor.
"Thank you! It's so beautiful!" Aeris cried out.
"You're.....*gasp* welcome!" Sephiroth struggled to say while she squeezed him with her hugs. "Can't ..... breath....."
"Oh! Sorry." Aeris got off of him and stood up blushing. He got up and took her hand, leading her out of the house and towards the exit of her property. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
Ten minutes later, they were walking around the small-rebuilt section of Midgar. Several stores and shops were open and ready for costumers, as well as a few restaurants. Sephiroth led her to the entrance of a nearby Thai restaurant. He pushed the door open and guided her in. The aroma of different dishes greeted them as they looked around. Several waitresses wandered around from table to table while they waited. Sephiroth had a chance to glance around. He noticed a toy vending machine full of fake jewelry and toys. There were various wall scriptures that looked similar to Wutain décor. A waiter approached them and bowed.
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait a few minutes. All the tables are full right now but we'll have one ready in a second." He told them. Sephiroth shrugged as he turned back to her duty. Aeris was already at the vending machine, popping in gil.
"You know you only waste you money on those things, you did it enough at Gold Saucer." Sephiroth told her. She ignored him, struggling with the joystick towards what she wanted. She let out a giggle when the machine made a tick noise. She pulled out a cheap ring and frowned.
"You're just jealous because you never won one of them. Hmmm. I was hoping for a teddy bear but this is better than nothing." She looked at it. It had a smiley face on it. She looked over at him, remembering what he was doing for her and handed him the ring. "Better yet, I want you to have it."
"Wow. Thanks." He replied in a bored manner as he looked at it. She laughed at his reply. He pocketed it for later use. The waiter returned and guided them to their table. Soon enough they were dining and talking. Sephiroth had the waiter bring in candles and wine to make it more romantic. Aeris was too embarrassed to say anything about it, but just blushed and smiled. The dinner lasted for hours they had a great time. At last, they left and were back in front of Aeris' house. Aeris turned back and looked up at Sephiroth, pausing for a moment.
"You know, I never realized how tall you are." She laughed. He smiled.
"You're just short." He told her. Aeris blew away her bangs from her face.
"I'm not short, I'm just vertically challenged, okay?" Aeris told him, making him laughed. She bashfully smiled and looked away slightly. "I had a really great time tonight, Sephiroth. Thank you for everything."
"No problem." He replied in a cocky manner. "Thank you for having dinner with me."
Aeris nodded, her smile growing wider. She was about to turn back to the house, but Sephiroth caught her arm and stopped her. Their eyes locked on one another and slowly but surely, Sephiroth bent down closer to her. Her eyes widened in suspense as her heart pounded in her chest. His lips barely brushed against hers when—
"HEY YOU LITTLE LOVE BIRDS!!! TAKE IT TO A ROOM!!!!" A drunken voice yelled at them from a window behind them. Sephiroth and Aeris turned to see an intoxicated Vincent hanging halfway out the window with more drunk guys crowding the window with cameras. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"DAMN YOU ALL TO THE DEEPEST REGIONS OF HELL!!!" Sephiroth yelled at them, picking up a random nearby lawn gnome and chucking it at the window. They jumped back into the house right before the gnome smashed into the window.
"Ah, great, there goes my window too." Aeris muttered and folded her arms. Sephiroth hung his head. Will he ever get a kiss in? The guys could be heard laughing their asses off from within Aeris' house. Sephiroth looked up at the shattered window with a new burning determination in his eyes.
"Hahahah! Sephiroth is too shy! He can't kiss a girl! Sephiroth will forever be single! He won't get laid!" They drunken men sang together inside. Sephiroth knew Vincent was singing in lead and was now reaching his boiling point.
"............." Aeris wasn't sure what to say to it all but just stood there.
"Sephiroth is a sissy! He can't make smooth moves! Sephiroth likes Aeris!" they continued.
Sephiroth let out a howl of rage. Everyone went silent when he turned around to Aeris. In several swift motions, Sephiroth had dipped the confused girl over backwards and kissed her deeply. Soon, the intoxicated group came back to they windows with their cameras flashing and their voices cheering on the scene. At first, Aeris didn't know how to react but slowly she wrapped her arms around his neck and went along with it all. After several minutes and everyone running out of camera film, Sephiroth pulled her back up and broke away, blushing as red as Aeris was. They walked up and into the house, Sephiroth recovered from his bashfulness right as he stepped through the door and Aeris still blushing.
The both of them walked up to the drunken boys piled on the floor from laughter and drunkenness. They were all covered in red splotchy marks and some had blood smeared over them. Each of them didn't have a shirt on, but were thankfully wearing pants. (Hmmm, pantaloons...) Vincent and Cid were still holding tequila bottles, swigging every now and then. Link had a camcorder in his hot little drunk hands, yet was passed out at the foot of the couch. Kain was completely covered in blood and swaying back and forth in the kitchen. The pie Aeris had made had been hoarded and the remnants were still on Legolas', Kuja's, Cid's, Dante's, and Link's face.
"You guys.... Ate my pie! You're going to clean up this mess you made! Kain, you left a bunch of bloody tracks over my hard wood flooring!" Aeris told them. Some laughed a little after she spoke. "Speaking of which, why are you bloody, Kain? You didn't kill more hobos, did you?"
"Nooo. But we were at the strip club and then got drunk and then walked home and streaked in your garden and then we got all itchy and stuff. We thought it was the 'Plague' so we killed a couple of the neighbors for their organs. Then it turned out to be poison ivy... our bad."
"Whyyyy? ..... No, no, never mind, it's better not to ask." She said after staring at him for a few seconds.
"Dad, why did you have to sing that crap?!" Sephiroth growled, trying not to get too mad.
"Because..... You need to get some sugar, boy....." Vincent said as he stood up, swerving to and fro with his booze.
".........." Sephiroth just looked at him in disbelief. He never thought a man like Vincent could get so wild when drunk.
"Don't you talk back to me, boy! I f***ed your mother!!!" Vincent cried out, almost tripping on himself.
"Go to bed, dad, you're drunk." Sephiroth said. Vincent passed out and he let out a sigh, grabbing his father's feet and dragging him upstairs to the guestroom.
Aeris looked at each of them, shaking her head in disappointment. Surprisingly enough, Cid was the most sober one. He was too busy trying to find his bottle of vodka. Sephiroth came back down stairs and pushed a now unconscious Legolas off the couch and sat down, using the unconscious Link as a footstool. Cid found the twelve pack of beer that he brought to Aeris' house in the first place and snapped it open, chugging it down. He then looked at Sephiroth and Aeris and with a solemn nod, he spoke his wise words of wisdom.
"Now that you two *(^$*ing like each other, you can go and *^$@ when we leave." Cid told her.
"Nice..... Um, Cid, where are you going?" Aeris asked. Sephiroth was too busy considering the whole *$#%ing thing Cid suggested.
"well, you know how it is. When you accidentally (&%$ing kill a hooker/striper and you need to get rid of the (&%%#ing body..... Your flowers will get a lot of fertilizer." Cid told her and left the house.
"I......... think I'm tired. I'm heading up to bed." Aeris said aloud, rubbing her temples. She marched up the stairs and over to her crappily fixed bed room door. Right as she touched the doorknob, she felt a touch on her shoulder causing her to jump in alarm. It was Sephiroth. She smiled nervously, remembering the kiss he administered upon her not too long ago. "Oh, hello Sephiroth."
"Sorry about earlier, it was inappropriate of me." He told her.
"No, no, it's okay." Aeris laughed, not understanding why he'd apologize.
"Well, I just want you to—"Sephiroth scratched his head. Aeris got an insane idea and cut him off.
"Shut up, Sephy." Aeris told him, pulling him down by his bangs and kissing him sweetly. She pulled back to see his surprised expression, smiled and went in her room, closing the door behind her. Sephiroth stood, still staring at where she stood. He could hear her voice through the door, bringing him back to reality. "Goodnight Sephy."
Sephiroth turned towards his room and entered. As soon as the door was closed he jumped up and down giddily. "Yessss!" He then did a jig, singing 'I believe in a thing called love' by The Darkness. I'd pay big bucks to see that.
Meanwhile, in Aeris' room......... Cheetohs.
"That was very interesting....." Aeris said to herself. She then got ready for bed, all the while singing 'kiss me' by Sixpence None the Richer.
Meanwhile, again.... Somewhere, I don't even know yet, but somewhere a mysterious evil force was looming..... Hmm, let's just say it's evil and wants to annihilate Sephiroth and Aeris and everyone else. And they like....... Cheeeeeeese. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Link: Will any of that mysterious evil stuff actually be in the next chapter?
Aeris: Nah, it'll probably all be lost during post production.
Aeris: you know, the thing no one realizes about this fic is that it is so full of inside jokes; I don't think anyone understands it.
Goughnour: Why do you desire my puppy?
Aeris: (turns bright red) AKIRA KIJO!!!
Akira Kijo: heheheheh
Sephiroth: I'm lost now.........
Aeris: See? Hey, where's Ashley?
Kuja: trying to extract her revenge upon someone who had her fic removed. I hope he knows a good place to hide because he won't live long once she finds him.
Kain: I'll be there to clean up all the blood.
Legolas: You go ahead and do that.
Kain: Yay!
Link: I'm hardly ever speaking, why is this?
Vincent: Because, you're supposed to stand there, smile and look cute for the audience.
Sephiroth: HAHAHHA! YOU SAID CUTE!! (Gets smacked by a metal claw.) Ow.
Aeris: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL VAN HELSING COMES OUT IN THEATRES! IT LOOKS LIKE AN AWESOME MOVIE! I'd go this weekend when it comes out but I'll be busy with, um, things. Like prom. O.o YAY! I still want to go see it later though. Anywho... (Turns to Goughnour) ......... Are you a rogue in Dungeons and Dragons?
Goughnour: No, I'm a barbarian named Gore Monkey, duh! But I have played as a rogue in the past. Why?
Aeris: ......... Because you seemed to have stolen my heart with a dexterity score of 18.
Everyone except Aeris: .........HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: Quit laughing!!! I meant that!!! :'( (Runs away and hides in a miscellaneously located closet and cries... for a long time... long time as in hours... which will later turn into days... But no one cares now do they?)
Sephiroth: (Turns to Goughnour) She is supposed to like me!
Goughnour: But you see, I AM you... in an other dimension and in disguise.
Sephiroth: ....... You are a fugging weirdo...
Goughnour: A HOT fugging weirdo I might add.
Vincent: Um, that's enough, son..... Or sons. Whatever.
Legolas: No more crap. Wait till next chapter.
Dante: (Is handed a note by an anonymous guy named Ryan. [Hehehe, it's my turn to embarrass Akira now.] He looks it over and clears his throat) By the way, Aeris might be posting a special poem shortly after she emerges from whatever closet she's in. Go read it. Especially if you are a Sephiroth-in-disguise person. (Looks at Goughnour and coughs in a manner that is not at all noticeable. Not.) Yea. So, um, thank you for reading and please submit your souls to hell..... Um, did I say that last part out loud?
Aeris: (still crying in closet) sniff, meanies. (Don't worry, I'll later get hit by a cow named Moo and die from the ice weasels that come out at night. I won't suffer that much.)
Aeris/author: (is wearing pants, yes, not a dress but pants. And don't forget the shirt.) Yea, since I've been getting into the habit, I'm just ganna go with Aeris instead of Aeris/author. I'm working on my German homework right now so you people can like bugger off or something. (Opens German book and studies)
Link: (looks over her shoulder) ......... How do you fart in German?
Aeris: ......... -_-'
Kain, Dante, and Vincent: (walk in holding a few video game boxes)
Kain: Yea, I can't wait to play this game, the Suffering. And this game! And these other games that are extremely gory beyond compare.
Dante: Yea, these ARE extremely gory games! Especially this one; it's pretty gory, you can even blow the bits to bits!
Aeris: (keeps head down in German books) .......... Must..... Resist ..... Temptation.....
Sephiroth: (walks in w/ a piece of paper, reading it) Hmmmmmm.....
Vincent: What are you reading, son?
Sephiroth: I said to cut it out with the 'son' bit. But, I'm reading this invitation I found on a purple car.....
Akira Kijo: (walks in and begins to announce.) And then Aeris went to school that day and she got breakfast. Doodly doo, breakfast . Yum. She likes breakfast during WASL week, because her special lil' Gore-ughnor Monkey showed up early that day even though he's a senior, and doesn't need to be up that early. Anyway, she walked up to him that fateful day and handed over a pie to him, for she desires the Goughnour puppy, when he exclaimed—
Aeris: (slaps hand over Akira's mouth) SHADUP! That's too kinky! I've gotta keep the ratings down. THE RATINGS!!
Goughnour: (walks in, scratching head) I don't remember that...
Akira Kijo: Of course you wouldn't, you can't remember what's in a dream ^- ^
Aeris: Whyyyyyyyy....
Akira Kijo: Because!
Sephiroth: (clears his throat to get everyone's attention) Anyways! As I was saying.... I found this invitation on a purple car....
Goughnour: Waitaminute..... MY car is a purple color.....
Sephiroth: ANYWAYS! It's an invitation to a party in someone's pants..... (Looks right at Aeris)
Aeris: (still wearing pants, thank gawd) Eh?
Sephiroth: ............. (Smiles evilly)
Aeris: Ohhhhh, no, Ohhhhhhhhh no! That's not for you, Sephy....
Goughnour: Hmmmmmm...
Sephiroth: (reaches in Aeris' pants) WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Aeris: WHOA! Hey buddy, you weren't invited – I said MY hand, MY pants!!!!! (Smacks him with a frozen fish until he's bloody) That's known as sexual harassment!
Sephiroth: You know you liked it....
Dante: It's still sexual harassment, even if you enjoyed it.
Sephiroth: No it isn't.
Vincent: Oh that was sexual harassment all right, but in a good way, son.
Aeris: You are so not helping in this, Vinny.
Vincent: I know.
Kuja: I'm so turned on right now
Kain: O.o No, just... no, (shudders) no, oh gawds no.... (Turns around and sees Link)
Link: (sucking on a Popsicle) Hello.
Kain: (shudders again) Ewww. (Turns and sees Legolas)
Legolas: (finishes a glass of milk, leaving a distinctive white mustache) Yo.
Kain: o.O I can't take it anymore! This is too much for a straight guy to handle! I am so leaving now.
Aeris: Me too.
Goughnour: (Eats Thai food and krispy kremes) WOOT! Start the fic! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 17. I'm so confused right now, again....
Sephiroth could feel his heart pound within his chest as he slowly approached the woman of his dreams was standing before the sink in the kitchen, chopping up carrots for dinner. He used his ninja-like abilities to quietly make his way all the way behind her, as she was still unaware of his presence. She was humming a cheerful tune as he loomed up behind her like a predator on its unsuspecting prey. He swallowed the lump in his throat, bent over a bit and carefully reached for a lock of her brownish blonde hair. Suddenly, without any warning, Aeris turned around, ramming her face into his. Aeris blinked in confusion when she realized that Sephiroth's lips were on hers and he was wide-eyed and staring at her. She immediately pulled back and screamed.
"PERVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT!!!!!!!" her voice rattled things throughout the house. Sephiroth soon found the knife that she had been using on the carrots soaring straight at him. Yet, due to his matrixy reflexes, he bent out of the way, allowing the knife to stick into the wall behind him.
"WTF is wrong with you?!!? That was so not my fault!" Sephiroth screamed at her. She had her hand to her mouth with a look of confusion and rage in her eyes.
"You kissed me!" Aeris declared, still shocked.
"I didn't mean to! You turned around! I was going to give you these!" Sephiroth yelled in protest, throwing the flowers at her. She caught them and looked down at them.
"You do realize that dating game is over, don't you? Why are you wearing a Turks uniform?" Aeris asked in a calm manner as she placed the flowers on the counter.
"I'm not playing that game, I'm serious." Sephiroth told her, getting up. She stared at him, unable to speak.
'You've got her in the palm of your hand! Remember what Vincent told you!' Sephiroth's mind clicked. He tried to remember what he said.
Vincent's face float through his mind. 'Whisper sweet things to her.....'
'Sweet things?' Sephiroth was a bit confused but willing to give it a try. He stepped closer to her with his face blank, trapping her in the kitchen corner. She was quite nervous and couldn't look away from his calm face. He leaned down close, his face inches from her and softly he spoke. "Chocolate, cake, gum drops, candy, doughnuts....."
"What, are you hungry?" Aeris asked. He hung his head in reply.
'Try something else!' Sephiroth's mind screamed.
Vincent's face floated through his mind again. 'Give her your best smile.....'
Sephiroth looked back up into Aeris' eyes and did as he remembered. After a few seconds she raised an eyebrow. "Why are you glaring at me, Sephiroth?" She asked, he could hear the tension in her voice.
"I'm getting nowhere w/ this....." Sephiroth muttered. He turned around, facing away from Aeris.
"What is wrong?" Aeris asked, unsure if she wanted to know.
"Never mind. Here, I got this for you in Gold Saucer before we left." Sephiroth stepped back and pulled a box out of the Turk uniform jacket and offered it to her while thinking the whole time: 'Why isn't there some cheap and easy way to prove how much she means to me?'
Aeris opened the box and gasped at what was inside, she pulled out a small silver locket necklace from the box and lifted it up in front of her face. She smiled and put it on, touching it gently. It was shaped like a heart. She turned her attention away from the locket and back to Sephiroth smiling gleefully. Before he could say anything, Aeris leapt unto him with a squeal, toppling him to the floor.
"Thank you! It's so beautiful!" Aeris cried out.
"You're.....*gasp* welcome!" Sephiroth struggled to say while she squeezed him with her hugs. "Can't ..... breath....."
"Oh! Sorry." Aeris got off of him and stood up blushing. He got up and took her hand, leading her out of the house and towards the exit of her property. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
Ten minutes later, they were walking around the small-rebuilt section of Midgar. Several stores and shops were open and ready for costumers, as well as a few restaurants. Sephiroth led her to the entrance of a nearby Thai restaurant. He pushed the door open and guided her in. The aroma of different dishes greeted them as they looked around. Several waitresses wandered around from table to table while they waited. Sephiroth had a chance to glance around. He noticed a toy vending machine full of fake jewelry and toys. There were various wall scriptures that looked similar to Wutain décor. A waiter approached them and bowed.
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait a few minutes. All the tables are full right now but we'll have one ready in a second." He told them. Sephiroth shrugged as he turned back to her duty. Aeris was already at the vending machine, popping in gil.
"You know you only waste you money on those things, you did it enough at Gold Saucer." Sephiroth told her. She ignored him, struggling with the joystick towards what she wanted. She let out a giggle when the machine made a tick noise. She pulled out a cheap ring and frowned.
"You're just jealous because you never won one of them. Hmmm. I was hoping for a teddy bear but this is better than nothing." She looked at it. It had a smiley face on it. She looked over at him, remembering what he was doing for her and handed him the ring. "Better yet, I want you to have it."
"Wow. Thanks." He replied in a bored manner as he looked at it. She laughed at his reply. He pocketed it for later use. The waiter returned and guided them to their table. Soon enough they were dining and talking. Sephiroth had the waiter bring in candles and wine to make it more romantic. Aeris was too embarrassed to say anything about it, but just blushed and smiled. The dinner lasted for hours they had a great time. At last, they left and were back in front of Aeris' house. Aeris turned back and looked up at Sephiroth, pausing for a moment.
"You know, I never realized how tall you are." She laughed. He smiled.
"You're just short." He told her. Aeris blew away her bangs from her face.
"I'm not short, I'm just vertically challenged, okay?" Aeris told him, making him laughed. She bashfully smiled and looked away slightly. "I had a really great time tonight, Sephiroth. Thank you for everything."
"No problem." He replied in a cocky manner. "Thank you for having dinner with me."
Aeris nodded, her smile growing wider. She was about to turn back to the house, but Sephiroth caught her arm and stopped her. Their eyes locked on one another and slowly but surely, Sephiroth bent down closer to her. Her eyes widened in suspense as her heart pounded in her chest. His lips barely brushed against hers when—
"HEY YOU LITTLE LOVE BIRDS!!! TAKE IT TO A ROOM!!!!" A drunken voice yelled at them from a window behind them. Sephiroth and Aeris turned to see an intoxicated Vincent hanging halfway out the window with more drunk guys crowding the window with cameras. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"DAMN YOU ALL TO THE DEEPEST REGIONS OF HELL!!!" Sephiroth yelled at them, picking up a random nearby lawn gnome and chucking it at the window. They jumped back into the house right before the gnome smashed into the window.
"Ah, great, there goes my window too." Aeris muttered and folded her arms. Sephiroth hung his head. Will he ever get a kiss in? The guys could be heard laughing their asses off from within Aeris' house. Sephiroth looked up at the shattered window with a new burning determination in his eyes.
"Hahahah! Sephiroth is too shy! He can't kiss a girl! Sephiroth will forever be single! He won't get laid!" They drunken men sang together inside. Sephiroth knew Vincent was singing in lead and was now reaching his boiling point.
"............." Aeris wasn't sure what to say to it all but just stood there.
"Sephiroth is a sissy! He can't make smooth moves! Sephiroth likes Aeris!" they continued.
Sephiroth let out a howl of rage. Everyone went silent when he turned around to Aeris. In several swift motions, Sephiroth had dipped the confused girl over backwards and kissed her deeply. Soon, the intoxicated group came back to they windows with their cameras flashing and their voices cheering on the scene. At first, Aeris didn't know how to react but slowly she wrapped her arms around his neck and went along with it all. After several minutes and everyone running out of camera film, Sephiroth pulled her back up and broke away, blushing as red as Aeris was. They walked up and into the house, Sephiroth recovered from his bashfulness right as he stepped through the door and Aeris still blushing.
The both of them walked up to the drunken boys piled on the floor from laughter and drunkenness. They were all covered in red splotchy marks and some had blood smeared over them. Each of them didn't have a shirt on, but were thankfully wearing pants. (Hmmm, pantaloons...) Vincent and Cid were still holding tequila bottles, swigging every now and then. Link had a camcorder in his hot little drunk hands, yet was passed out at the foot of the couch. Kain was completely covered in blood and swaying back and forth in the kitchen. The pie Aeris had made had been hoarded and the remnants were still on Legolas', Kuja's, Cid's, Dante's, and Link's face.
"You guys.... Ate my pie! You're going to clean up this mess you made! Kain, you left a bunch of bloody tracks over my hard wood flooring!" Aeris told them. Some laughed a little after she spoke. "Speaking of which, why are you bloody, Kain? You didn't kill more hobos, did you?"
"Nooo. But we were at the strip club and then got drunk and then walked home and streaked in your garden and then we got all itchy and stuff. We thought it was the 'Plague' so we killed a couple of the neighbors for their organs. Then it turned out to be poison ivy... our bad."
"Whyyyy? ..... No, no, never mind, it's better not to ask." She said after staring at him for a few seconds.
"Dad, why did you have to sing that crap?!" Sephiroth growled, trying not to get too mad.
"Because..... You need to get some sugar, boy....." Vincent said as he stood up, swerving to and fro with his booze.
".........." Sephiroth just looked at him in disbelief. He never thought a man like Vincent could get so wild when drunk.
"Don't you talk back to me, boy! I f***ed your mother!!!" Vincent cried out, almost tripping on himself.
"Go to bed, dad, you're drunk." Sephiroth said. Vincent passed out and he let out a sigh, grabbing his father's feet and dragging him upstairs to the guestroom.
Aeris looked at each of them, shaking her head in disappointment. Surprisingly enough, Cid was the most sober one. He was too busy trying to find his bottle of vodka. Sephiroth came back down stairs and pushed a now unconscious Legolas off the couch and sat down, using the unconscious Link as a footstool. Cid found the twelve pack of beer that he brought to Aeris' house in the first place and snapped it open, chugging it down. He then looked at Sephiroth and Aeris and with a solemn nod, he spoke his wise words of wisdom.
"Now that you two *(^$*ing like each other, you can go and *^$@ when we leave." Cid told her.
"Nice..... Um, Cid, where are you going?" Aeris asked. Sephiroth was too busy considering the whole *$#%ing thing Cid suggested.
"well, you know how it is. When you accidentally (&%$ing kill a hooker/striper and you need to get rid of the (&%%#ing body..... Your flowers will get a lot of fertilizer." Cid told her and left the house.
"I......... think I'm tired. I'm heading up to bed." Aeris said aloud, rubbing her temples. She marched up the stairs and over to her crappily fixed bed room door. Right as she touched the doorknob, she felt a touch on her shoulder causing her to jump in alarm. It was Sephiroth. She smiled nervously, remembering the kiss he administered upon her not too long ago. "Oh, hello Sephiroth."
"Sorry about earlier, it was inappropriate of me." He told her.
"No, no, it's okay." Aeris laughed, not understanding why he'd apologize.
"Well, I just want you to—"Sephiroth scratched his head. Aeris got an insane idea and cut him off.
"Shut up, Sephy." Aeris told him, pulling him down by his bangs and kissing him sweetly. She pulled back to see his surprised expression, smiled and went in her room, closing the door behind her. Sephiroth stood, still staring at where she stood. He could hear her voice through the door, bringing him back to reality. "Goodnight Sephy."
Sephiroth turned towards his room and entered. As soon as the door was closed he jumped up and down giddily. "Yessss!" He then did a jig, singing 'I believe in a thing called love' by The Darkness. I'd pay big bucks to see that.
Meanwhile, in Aeris' room......... Cheetohs.
"That was very interesting....." Aeris said to herself. She then got ready for bed, all the while singing 'kiss me' by Sixpence None the Richer.
Meanwhile, again.... Somewhere, I don't even know yet, but somewhere a mysterious evil force was looming..... Hmm, let's just say it's evil and wants to annihilate Sephiroth and Aeris and everyone else. And they like....... Cheeeeeeese. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Link: Will any of that mysterious evil stuff actually be in the next chapter?
Aeris: Nah, it'll probably all be lost during post production.
Aeris: you know, the thing no one realizes about this fic is that it is so full of inside jokes; I don't think anyone understands it.
Goughnour: Why do you desire my puppy?
Aeris: (turns bright red) AKIRA KIJO!!!
Akira Kijo: heheheheh
Sephiroth: I'm lost now.........
Aeris: See? Hey, where's Ashley?
Kuja: trying to extract her revenge upon someone who had her fic removed. I hope he knows a good place to hide because he won't live long once she finds him.
Kain: I'll be there to clean up all the blood.
Legolas: You go ahead and do that.
Kain: Yay!
Link: I'm hardly ever speaking, why is this?
Vincent: Because, you're supposed to stand there, smile and look cute for the audience.
Sephiroth: HAHAHHA! YOU SAID CUTE!! (Gets smacked by a metal claw.) Ow.
Aeris: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL VAN HELSING COMES OUT IN THEATRES! IT LOOKS LIKE AN AWESOME MOVIE! I'd go this weekend when it comes out but I'll be busy with, um, things. Like prom. O.o YAY! I still want to go see it later though. Anywho... (Turns to Goughnour) ......... Are you a rogue in Dungeons and Dragons?
Goughnour: No, I'm a barbarian named Gore Monkey, duh! But I have played as a rogue in the past. Why?
Aeris: ......... Because you seemed to have stolen my heart with a dexterity score of 18.
Everyone except Aeris: .........HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: Quit laughing!!! I meant that!!! :'( (Runs away and hides in a miscellaneously located closet and cries... for a long time... long time as in hours... which will later turn into days... But no one cares now do they?)
Sephiroth: (Turns to Goughnour) She is supposed to like me!
Goughnour: But you see, I AM you... in an other dimension and in disguise.
Sephiroth: ....... You are a fugging weirdo...
Goughnour: A HOT fugging weirdo I might add.
Vincent: Um, that's enough, son..... Or sons. Whatever.
Legolas: No more crap. Wait till next chapter.
Dante: (Is handed a note by an anonymous guy named Ryan. [Hehehe, it's my turn to embarrass Akira now.] He looks it over and clears his throat) By the way, Aeris might be posting a special poem shortly after she emerges from whatever closet she's in. Go read it. Especially if you are a Sephiroth-in-disguise person. (Looks at Goughnour and coughs in a manner that is not at all noticeable. Not.) Yea. So, um, thank you for reading and please submit your souls to hell..... Um, did I say that last part out loud?
Aeris: (still crying in closet) sniff, meanies. (Don't worry, I'll later get hit by a cow named Moo and die from the ice weasels that come out at night. I won't suffer that much.)