Standard disclaimer here.
No Happy Endings
She isn't the type of girl that likes to dwell on every little touch, every look they share. It doesn't seem important to her, not when there is paperwork to be done and a world to be saved. It they brush shoulders in the hall, the moment isn't magical; she doesn't engrave it into her memories to blush at and giggle over later. She isn't that type of girl, and she doesn't think she ever was.
She wonders if she should feel something when he smiles at her- it isn't often that she gets a genuine smile from him anyway. Of course, it pleases her when he does, because she doesn't really care to see that sad and wistful expression he sometimes wears (he stares out the window and sees the rain pounding against the glass, when he thinks that no one is watching). She likes the way he smiles; the way the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly, his dark eyes seem to sparkle (but maybe that's just the girl inside of her, imaging that there is something when really there is not)…
Their conversations are generally arguments, and happen too often for her to be able to remember those either. They usually begin civilly enough, until she realizes he's avoiding his duties and whips out her pistols. It might take a bullet hole or two in his desk or walls or door before he seriously gets to work, but it's a usual enough occurrence and she would be disappointed if it took anything less.
Sometimes, sometimes the things he says stay with her. Not his comments about miniskirts, nor his ambitions to create a harem within the military, but the things he says when his eyes are serious and his expression grim. Those are the things that really matter, after all; that is what won him her loyalty and unconditional love in the end.
'I'm going to change this government, Hawkeye. Will you help me?'
Yes, of course she would. Who could argue with his determination and his dreams? She was a sinner and a murderer, trying to repent for the deaths she caused during the war. There was no better way for her to do so than to make the deaths actually count, actually mean something.
'I am going to go to Central. Are you coming with me, Hawkeye?'
He didn't even need to ask. She would follow him anywhere (to the ends of the world and the depths of hell if she had to), and he knew that just as well as she did. If going to Central would bring him one step closer to achieving his goals, then she would follow him without question, because he had her heart and her aim at his disposal.
'I thought… I was going to lose you. I was afraid… that maybe I was too late…'
And even though she knows he's thinking of his dead, decaying best friend when he says this, she takes it to heart and locks it away (because it's the only indication he's ever given that maybe he loves her too). She's covered in blood that mostly isn't hers, and neither of them are smiling because they both almost lost each other, and she's scolding him because it keeps her from crying, and… and… She wants to wrap her arms around his waist and hold him close, because he's stupid and arrogant and an idiot and she's never loved him more, but she's really not that type of girl and she doesn't think she ever was and it's unprofessional and people are watching them both right now and it scares her just a little bit.
For a moment, one brief and horrifying moment, she loses her will to live. She lets her guard down, losing faith in herself and in the man she loves; believes that the enemy is telling the truth and that her superior officer is gone forever. How did it ever come to this? she wonders. She hates the person she's become, with her long blonde hair and trembling hands. That scares her more than anything. He makes her weak and vulnerable, and she hates that too.
'What are you going to do when this is all over with?' he asks her one day, looking up suddenly from his paperwork.
She barely manages to hold in her sigh, replying in her normal, clipped tone, 'I haven't given it much thought.'
But that's a lie, and she knows exactly what she's going to do after his goal is achieved and the corruption is rooted out of the government. Because maybe he loves her just as much as she loves him, and maybe everything will work out in the end, but maybe not.
The day after he becomes Fuhrer, she hands him her resignation, and he stares at her with his one good eye, completely confused.
She smiles slightly, sadly, looking out of place and unfamiliar with her short hair and casual clothing. 'Goodbye.'
Riza Hawkeye isn't a little girl anymore, and there is no such thing as a happy ending.