I'm back! Mauhahaha. When my friends read this, they interrogated me. So, yes, I will admit, Lily is based on me. Most of the stuff in here is from my diary, or from notes in class, or from some other personal source. Hehehe. And I know, I caved. I wanted eight reviews before I updated, but I only have four. -sob- But I have deicided to write this for me- not for reviews. Yes, reviews would be nice, but for once, I'm not pushing for them.

Oh, and if anyone thinks I own Harry Potter, than they are sadly mistaken. Believe me, if I owned Harry Potter, Scarhead would be dead and Draco would be dancing the conga on his grave. Voldemort would be drinking Vodka Cruisers, Wormtail would be dead, Luna Lovegood would be Minister of Magic, Neville would spit in Snape's face (who would have washed hair), Lily, James and Sirius would come back and not cry over Harry,Umbridge would shoot herself, as would Cho, Ginny would rejoice that she doesn't have to go out with Hairy Pothead, Pansy Parkinson would drown mysteriously, Cedric woud rise from the dead and party like there's no tomorrow, and well, the Harrp Potter world would be so much cooler!

Hmmm.A rather long disclaimer. Meh. On with the story!

8:00, On the Floor

I looked up at the person lying on top of me, and almost puked. Filch. FILCH! George, my darling George, have you heard of a more disgusting sequence? Yeah, I thought not. Oh god, I'm hyperventilating again. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, brea- oh screw it! Filch jumped off me and continued to run down the corridor to where Dickweed and his comrades were. I sighed in relief, and stood up, turning around to go back into the prefect common room. I was mortified to see that every one had stood in the doorway and saw me be bowled over by our new caretaker. Well, at least it wasn't Pringle; that would have been psychologically traumatising. I felt myself go red, and I looked down at my feet, barely aware I was still on the cold floor. The Ravenclaw male prefect for my year, Greg Davies, put his arm around me comfortingly, though I could sense that he wanted to laugh. Damn him. I think dinner is over, there are people coming round the corner.

5 minutes later, still on the floor

Please, let the ground swallow me up! When the entirety of Hogwarts (okay, I exaggerated a teensy bit. There was 20 people at the most) came round the corner, they saw a giggling mass of nerds deemed geeky enough to wear a shiny badge (Oh so shiny! My Precious…) and me, sitting in the middle of it, with a rather hot Ravenclaw hugging me. Yep, utter mortification. Okay, it wasn't that bad. But when I tried to stand up I managed to fall back down which set the nerds off again. My friends (coughminionscough) ran up to me, and began talking loudly, mostly about the ultra sexy Ravenclaw who was still next to me, looking bewildered at my boy-crazy friends. I managed to weakly smile at him and he stood, helping me up with him. I leaned on him, trying to regain balance, which I don't have. Aaw, crap. Dickweed's back.

Yet another five minutes later, laughing too hard to stay up

Hehehehehehe! Excuse me while I regain my composure. Hahaha. Sorry, had to laugh. Turns out it wasn't peeves, it was the Marauders. When Dickweed tried to intervene with their game (which I think was just outdoing each others burps and poking Dumbledore's gargoyle) they hexed him so he is currently bright pink with green spots and tentacles. Hmmm, he seems to be in pain. I could kiss the marauders! But not. Because that would be wrong. Very wrong. Because they're evil. So it would be like kissing the wicked witch of the west- which is so wrong it's almost right. I shudder at the thought. Anywho, Dickweed looks rather vicious right now, so I think I might be going……

8:17, Empty Classroom

Snuck off with Greg, who's very sweet actually. We were running for ages, and now I think we're lost. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. CRAP. Hmmm, we seem to be near the Transfiguration Department. Greg is looking at me. Why is he looking at me, diary? Why? SAVE ME, DIARY! GREG IS NO INNOCENT PREFECT! HE LURES GIRLS INTO EMPTY CLASSROOMS AND…AND…OH GOD! "Er, lily, why are you looking at me like that?" that would be what Greg said. Sadistic rapist. Grr. "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SICK, PERVERTED FREAK! STAY AWAY I SAID! BACK, YOU FIEND! I HAVE A BLACK BELT IN…UH…TAI CHI!" oh my lord, he's looking at me again. Wait, he "Tai chi? Isn't that like a calming exercise or something? Lily? What's wrong? Are you hallucinating? I know Filch on top of you would have been bad, but I didn't think it messed you up this much." Is Greg not a twisted paedophile? Hmmm, must ponder that.

…

Just had conversation with Greg. Turns out he isn't a sadistic rapist. Well, a girl has to be careful. Never know what sick mind is behind a gorgeous body and sweet gestures. Anyway, we are now walking aimlessly through the halls chatting. I like Greg. Very nice boy. And it doesn't hurt that he is a complete stud muffin. Fine male specimen. Oh god, I can imagine Izzy's reaction if she ever reads this. George, my darling George, can you imagine the amount of comments about my "love for Greg"? I can.

8:30, the kitchens

We eventually reached the kitchens, and since our dinner was cut short for the prefect meeting, we stopped for some food. The house elves are quite nice. Odd, but nice. Slightly schizophrenic, but nice. I was surprised but happy to see that Greg is kind to the elves and asked them for food politely instead of ordering them around. I am liking Greg more and more. Not that way, diary! Anyway, some very nice food and mindless chatter has brought my night to a quiet and calm end. Am currently walking back to my dorm; Greg insisted on walking me back. Very, very sweet boy. Got the chivalry thing down pat. "Hey lily," Greg suddenly said to me. "Yeah?" ah, crap, just tripped over. Greg is pulling me back up. "Thanks Greg!" hey, he's looking at me weird again. Oh lord, what if he is a sadistic rapist and murderer? I'm too young to die! Nah, he's too sweet to be a murderer. Phew! "Wanna sit with me and my friends tomorrow? Just as mates?" I nod and smile, but inside I'm squealing with delight. Even if it's just sitting with him for lessons and lunch as friends, it's still Greg! The Greg! Sweet, kind-to-house-elves, gorgeous, smart, non-klutzy Greg!

Alright, am now making my way to the portrait. I love our password. "Life's pretty straight without Twisties" yep, the Fat Lady likes Twisties too. I don't know how she got hold of some though. Hmmm. Weird. Maybe there is a painting here with millions of Twisties packets. Maybe that's why she's...bigger than average; she ate too many Twisties and didn't exercise them off. Wait, I am talking like a crazy person, too many Twisties? No such thing. Anyway, I turn and wave to Greg and head in. Time to face the wrath of my friends. Brace yourself, Lily! Wait, did I just speak to myself in third person? Maybe I have split-personality disorder. Maybe one of my personalities isn't a klutz! I am content.

12:30, recovering from interrogation, girl's dorm

Honestly, my friends should be detectives or something. They immediately knew I had something to spill and started their interrogations. Izzy is supreme at grilling people, especially if it has to do with teenage girl issues. Like when I got that huge pimple and I refused to leave my bed, she questioned me and figured it out. George, remind me to buy some of that pimple cream that Izzy used on me then. Anywho, the questioning started immediately, and Jade, sensing I was weaker with my defences from lack of sleep, went in for the kill. "Does your pathetically goofy grin have to do with that sexy Ravenclaw?" Hmmph, she figured it out. Damn! Lily, just deny it. Just deny all the claims. Feck, I need an alibi! Feckity feck shit! Oh my sweet Merlin, I just re-read that sentence and I sound like a trash-bag! Oh god! I am a gutter mouth! I know I'm off the subject of Greg, but I can't help it! Oh lord, I think I'm hyperventilating again! I need a paper bag!

Inhale

Exhale

Paper bags? Where to look? WHERE TO LOOK?

Inhale

Where are all theSODDING paper bags?

Exhale

Slightly desperate right now.

Inhale

Okay, lily, think. If I were a paper bag, where would I be?

Exhale

Inhale

Oh, I know! I'd be in a paper bag packet!

Exhale

And where would a paper bag packet be?

Inhale

In Jade's trunk!

Exhale

Sensible voice in head: and why would it be in there?

Inhale

Well, why wouldn't it! Brain, don't question me!

Exhale

Okay, opening Jade's trunk. Searching through and swearing at regular intervals. Wait, what's that? Under Jade's Quidditch magazine?

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

I've got it! Yes! I am the best! Take that brain! 'Not in Jade's trunk!' -scoffs-

Exhale

I'm alright now, thank god.

Note to self: buy paper bags; therefore can keep them in bedside table, never know when they will come in handy. Oh, and buy beside table for aforementioned purpose.

Oh lord, my friends are coming nearer to me, with evil grins on their faces. Help! HELP! I am a defenceless little girl! Don't hurt me!

Well, that wasn't so bad. I shall now recount the sad tale. They practically tackled me, demanding to know what happened between Greg and me. I told them in what I thought was a calm, level voice; though later on, Billie told me I sounded like a constipated cow. Oh. She just added that the aforementioned cow had high, shaky voice, almost like a dying pig. Where did all the farm animals come from?

Anyway, after I had answered their questions Izzy jumped on me, saying I was the luckiest girl in the world. I had (probably due to my love of being overly dramatic) left out the part about Greg asking me to sit with him. Hehehe, I'm so evil. I told them and I got quite amusing reactions. Jade got all wide-eyed, Billie's jaw dropped then she came over and hugged me, and Izzy made me laugh at loud. She blinked a couple of times, and by the look on her face I thought she was going to slug me. She didn't, by the way. Then she said, laughing, "put in a good word to Andy Greens, for me, won't you?" we all ended up lying on Jade's bed (hers is largest. She charmed it to Queen Size- King wouldn't fit), and gossiping. I know, I know, gossiping is bad. I can't help it! It is one of my many sins. After awhile, we noticed the other girls in our dorm weren't actually sleeping, and we invited them over to our big circle.

They're quite nice, there's Elle Richards, slightly hyperactive blonde; Adrienne Cresswell, pretty much a walking dictionary, but still has an interesting personality; Melissa Smith, sweet, rather innocent; and Alicia Sanders, shares my predicament of being vertically challenged.

We chatted for a couple of hours, but now everyone is going to bed. Think I might too. So tired. -yawn- wish me luck for the morning George. Sweet drea-

-snore-

lots of love and penguins,

Amy