Second Chance

LHOP inspired fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos

Part 5

Laura opened the door to the house quietly in case Mary was still sleeping. When she entered, she found Mary sitting in Ma's rocking chair. Mary turned her head trying to figure out what was going on in the room around her. It was strange to see the sister she had always been so jealous of feeling alone and afraid of the world around her. Laura was ashamed of the jealousy she harbored so often. As she walked over to her sister, she placed a hand on Mary's arm. Mary jumped.

"Oh Mary, I'm sorry. I should have let you know I was here."

"Don't touch me!" Mary hollered.

Laura felt the anger rise inside her. But how could she be angry with poor Mary. Laura paused before speaking again. "Mary, I really am sorry. I just wanted to see if you needed anything."

"No. Leave me alone."

"Are you thirsty? I could get you some water."

"I said leave me alone!"

"How about I brush your hair?"

"I can do that."

"I know, but you haven't. And I thought you might want to get dressed."

"Why do I need to get dressed?"

"I saw John Jr. in town this morning and he's coming for a visit later." Laura hoped that the cheery sound of her voice would lighten Mary's mood.

"No, he can't. I don't want him to see me like this," Mary said in alarm.

"He's worried about you. As soon as he found out, he wanted to come right away, but I told him you might be sleeping."

"How could you Laura?" Mary scolded her sister. "How could you tell him I was…blind?" Mary began to cry.

"He asked how you were. After I ran into Seth I…"

"You saw Seth? Laura please tell me you didn't say anything to him."

"Well…I…I blurted it out by accident. I'm sorry."

"Laura!"

"For pete's sake Mary, people are going to find out. You can't stay inside the house forever."

"Why not? There's nothing for me now. I can't read or go to school. I won't become a teacher. Everything I ever wanted is gone. All I have left is the darkness…the never ending darkness."

Laura softened towards her sister. She had never heard Mary talk that way. "Is that really how you feel Mary?"

"Yes…it is."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

By the time John had reached home he was out of breath. He had run most of the way. He knew Isaiah and Grace would want to know about Mary. Isaiah was out in the field working. John walked over to meet him.

"Hey Pa," John said as he stood there with his hands in his pockets and looked down at the tilled soil. "I thought you should know…" John's voice became raspy and he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. "I thought you should know that Mary's blind."

Isaiah reached over and hugged his son. They stayed that way, in silence. Isaiah stroked John's hair as John broke down into tears.

"Why Pa? Why? I keep asking myself why this happened."

"Don't have the answer to that one son. Sometimes things happen that we don't rightly understand. How's everybody holdin up?"

"I don't know. Laura told me when I ran into her in town this morning. She was pretty upset."

"Well, I'm bout finished here. Let's say I wash up and we take a ride out there to see if they need anythin."

"Sure, I was planning to go anyway."

"I'll see if your Ma wants to come along. Maybe Caroline could use a hand."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Charles stepped out of the barn and heard the sound of wagon wheels. As he looked up the hill, he saw Isaiah, Grace and John Jr. coming towards him. Isaiah stopped the horses alongside Charles.

"I was wonderin if there was anythin we could do."

"I can't imagine what," Charles responded in discouragement.

John got down from the back of the wagon. "Is Mary awake?"

"Yes John, but she doesn't want to see you."

"Why?"

"Laura told her that she saw you in town. Mary doesn't want you to see her this way."

"Gosh Mr. Ingalls, it's not like she's going to regain her sight. She'll have to face me sooner or later."

"I know John. She's just not ready yet. Give her some time."

"Is Caroline in the house?" asked Grace.

"Yeah, she's…a…fixing dinner."

"I think I'll go in and see if I can give her a hand." With Isaiah's help, Grace got down from the wagon seat. She grabbed the basket of food that she brought for Caroline and headed towards the front door.

"Grace," Charles called after her. Grace turned around to face him. "Be prepared. Mary's in the front room. She might not talk to you and if she does, it won't sound like the Mary you're used to."

"Don't worry Charles. I'm sure we'll be fine." Grace knocked and went inside.

Charles and Isaiah decided to go for a walk. "Want to come along son?" asked Isaiah.

"No thanks Pa. I think I'll stay here."

After Charles and Isaiah disappeared over the hill, John walked towards the house and looked in the window. Mary sat in the rocking chair next to the fireplace. Grace and Caroline were next to the cook stove making dinner while Laura and Carrie set the table. As the others worked and talked, Mary would turn her head, perhaps trying to make out the noises and conversations around her. Maybe even wondering if they were whispering about her. John had never seen Mary look so sad – not even on the day he left Walnut Grove to go to school in Chicago.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

As promised, Doctor Baker returned a couple days later to check on Mary. After his examination Caroline and Charles followed him outside.

"How is she Doctor?" Charles asked.

"Physically, she's fine. But she's living in anger and fear."

"She barely speaks to anyone," Caroline said with worry.

"She's got to get up and start doing things for herself."

"She's blind Doc. We have to help her," Charles argued.

"If you do too much, she'll stay in that chair forever."

"I've tried. But I can't even convince her to get dressed," Caroline said in dismay.

"I'm not trained in the care of the blind and neither are the two of you. There are schools though, that teach the blind how to do for themselves. The closest one is in Burton, Iowa."

"But how could we send her away after what's happened. She needs us."

"Trust me Caroline, with the proper training Mary will be a different person."

Charles looked at his wife. "She has to go; you know that as much as I do."

"Yes," Caroline nodded, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Can you contact them for us Doc?"

"Certainly; as soon as I get back to town. Believe me; you're doing what's best for Mary. She might even thank you for it one day."

Charles and Caroline said their goodbyes to Doctor Baker and went inside to break the news to Mary, hoping that one day she would know it was the right decision.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Isaiah had stopped by the Ingalls place on his way home. Things were still tense there. Mary resented that she was being forced to go to Iowa and Charles and Caroline were still hoping that it was the best decision. Laura and Carrie were being careful not to give their parents anything else to worry about.

As Isaiah reached his farm he saw his two younger children outside doing their chores. After he unhitched the team he headed into the house.

"Afternoon Grace," he said and walked over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Grace smiled at him. "Afternoon Isaiah. Did you get a chance to stop by and see Charles and Caroline?"

"Sure did. Didn't stay long though. Tension's so thick you can cut it with a knife." Isaiah shook his head. "Such a durn shame what happened. John around?"

"He's reading in his room."

"John, can you come out here son?" Isaiah called towards John's room.

A second later John opened his door and joined Grace and Isaiah in the kitchen.

"You wanted to see me Pa?"

"Yeah, why don't you sit down a second." John sat down at the kitchen table and Isaiah picked a chair next to him."

"I stopped by the Ingalls place on my way home."

"How's Mary?" John asked softly.

"The same." Isaiah rubbed his hand over his bearded chin. "Charles and Caroline are sending Mary to Iowa."

"Iowa! What's in Iowa?"

"They got a school for the blind there. Doc Baker thinks they can help Mary."

"When does she leave?"

"End of the week."

"That's so far away. How long will she be gone?"

"Don't know yet."

"I have to see her before she leaves Pa."

"I thought as much. I spoke to Charles about it. He still doesn't think she'll talk to you."

"I have to try Pa. I can't let her go without seeing her at least one last time."

"I know. Charles said you should stop by day after tomorrow. That will give him time to talk to her."

"Thanks Pa."

Isaiah smiled. "Aww, wasn't nothin."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Two days later, John found himself walking the familiar road to the Ingalls place. He wasn't sure what to expect. It seemed so ironic that it was now Mary leaving him behind. How different their lives might have been if he had never gone to Chicago.

As John reached the barn, he became nervous. A million things ran through his mind. What if she wouldn't see him? What would Mary be like now that she was blind? How long would she have to stay in Iowa? How would she feel when she came home? He shoved those thoughts aside and made his way to the front door. He rapped lightly.

Charles was on the other side of the door when it opened. John thought Charles suddenly looked old. He hadn't noticed it the other day.

"Hello Mr. Ingalls. May I speak with Mary?"

"Sure John. Come on in." Charles opened the door wider to let John enter. Mary was sitting on the bed Charles had brought down from the soddy. "Caroline and I will be outside. Grace is sleeping in the other room."

"Thanks Mr. Ingalls." Charles nodded at John as Caroline and he went outside, closing the door behind them.

Mary was dressed in a pink calico print. Her long blond hair had been brushed until it shined. Her packed travel bag sat at the end of her bed.

"Hello Mary."

She stood up and turned to face him before answering. "Hello John."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine and yourself?"

"I'm fine too." John didn't know what to say to her. Should he bring up her trip to Iowa or should he wait until she mentioned it? "I'm glad your Pa let me come by today."

"Me too. I've been meaning to stop by your parents' place but I've been busy getting ready to go to school in Iowa."

"My Pa told me. How long will you be gone?"

"Just until this nonsense with my eyes clears up."

"What do you mean?" a confused John asked.

"Well once I can see better again, I'll probably come home."

John walked towards her and spoke softly. "Mary, you don't believe you're going to see again, do you?" He went to place a hand on her shoulder, but stopped.

"I'm sure everyone has blown this whole thing out of proportion. With the proper rest my eyes will be fine." Mary smiled as she spoke to him.

John's voice became raspy as he fought to hold back the tears. "For gosh sakes Mary, you're blind. It's not going to clear up."

"Don't say that! I will see again," Mary said defiantly.

"Mary it's… it's not good to fool yourself like this. You have to face the fact that you've lost your sight."

"I should have expected this from you. You never believed in me," Mary accused. "You never believed in us…not enough to stay in Walnut Grove anyway." She began to cry. "No, you had to go off to Chicago and make a name for yourself… while I stayed here and thought of you night and day. And when I finally got a chance to see you…you broke my heart." Mary angrily wiped away the tears.

"It wasn't like that and you know it," John answered in his defense.

"All I know is that I never want to see you again. Get out." When she didn't hear him leave she screamed, "I said get out!"

John walked towards the door. His eyes were so full of tears that he had to wipe them away so he could find the door handle. He turned back to her and shook his head in disbelief.

"Goodbye Mary." Sure that he would never see his dear Mary again, he walked outside and left the door open behind him.

Charles saw John leave the house and called after him, but John didn't look back. He felt it was over now and that coming home was the biggest mistake of his life.