Second Chance

LHOP inspired fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos

Part 13

Mary had practiced her words a million times, but standing before John she knew somehow whatever she said, it would come out wrong.

"Are we near that big rock?" she asked. "I could use a seat."

"Oh, sure; it's right over here."

John took Mary's hand and led her to the rock. Mary used her fingers to find a flat spot and then sat down. She heard John sit down on the grass in front of her.

"You said you came to a decision," John reminded her.

"Yes, I did," said Mary. She glanced up at the sky, as if she were searching for divine guidance, clasped her hands together and looked into John's face.

"John, what would you say if I told you I have a teaching job waiting for me?"

"A teaching job…where?"

"Winoka, in Dakota Territory."

"That's so far away…and Winoka's a big city. Wouldn't you be better off here with your folks?"

"You sound just like my Pa," Mary chuckled.

"Aren't you scared to be all alone in Winoka Mary; especially when you're…"

"Blind?" she interrupted. "Yes I am blind, John. But I just spent months in Iowa learning how to take care of myself. Ma and Pa won't always be around."

"But I could be there Mary…if you'll let me."

"Can't you see…I don't want someone to help me. Before I went blind, I planned on becoming a teacher. My family and I had no idea where I would be teaching. It could have been Iowa or Dakota."

"I suppose."

"But now that I'm blind, you think I should give up on my dream so I can stay close to home, protected from the outside world."

"That's not what I meant Mary. I just think it's good to approach the world with caution. Besides, I don't like the thought of you being out there all alone."

"I won't be alone. Adam will be there."

"Didn't you tell me he was blind too?"

"Adam doesn't let his being blind stop him. He knows what he has to do and he does it. It's one of the things I like most about him. And because he feels that way, Adam is always encouraging me to try things I think I can't do since I've lost my sight."

John stood up and began to pace. "So are you telling me you want to go to Dakota because Adam said you should?"

"No, I'm telling you I want to go to Dakota because I can. And because other blind children deserve a chance to learn what Adam taught me."

Something suddenly occurred to John and he came to stand in front of Mary. "Are you in love with him?" he asked.

Mary stood up. "I don't know. I care for him…but I can't say that I love him anymore than I can say I love you."

She stopped and waited for a response. After a few moments of silence Mary called to him.

"I'm here," he answered in a low voice.

"I'm sorry John. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"It's all right."

Mary reached for John's hand. "John, listen to me. For months I thought about your proposal. There were many times I was sure I would come home, and we would pick up the pieces of our shattered relationship, mend them, and find a way to get back what we lost. But as I got closer to coming home I had doubts…and I realized I want to live my own life, without having to depend on anyone too much. And that just wouldn't be the case for us."

Mary let go of his hand and touched his face before continuing. "You would always want to help me, to protect me, and keep me safe. And while that's a wonderful way to show someone how much you love her; it's not what I want. We'd both be unhappy."

"You're probably right," John answered, his voice raspy from holding back the tears.

A few drops of rain began to fall.

"I guess I better get you home. It looks like all that rain we've been missing is heading our way."

Mary took John's arm and wrapped it around hers. They walked back to the wagon in silence. John helped her onto the wagon seat and then hopped up alongside her. John grabbed the reins and prodded the horses into a quick trot. He felt Mary's hand on his arm.

"No need to hurry…a little rain never hurt anyone," she said with a smile.

John smiled back and slowed the horses down before asking Mary if she wanted him to recite his latest piece of work.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Charles and Caroline heard wagon wheels outside the front door.

"Now remember Caroline, we're not going to ask Mary how it went. If she wants to tell us about it, she will."

"Yes Charles," Caroline replied as she nibbled on her right pointer finger – the telltale sign that she was contemplating something.

The front door opened and Mary walked in. She turned back, said goodbye to John again and waited to hear the wagon pull away before closing the door.

"So how's John?" Caroline asked. She glanced at Charles who was giving her a stern look.

"He'll be fine," said Mary. "I know he's disappointed, but I think he understands."

"What's he going to do now?"

"He's going back to Chicago. His job is waiting for him."

"Did he mention if Isaiah made a decision about leaving yet?" Charles asked.

"Mr. Edwards hasn't said so, but now that John is leaving he's pretty sure his Pa will pick up and move."

"Mary, why don't you sit down a minute. Your Pa and I would like to talk to you about something."

"All right." Mary walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down. "Is everything ok?"

"Everythin's fine darlin. Don't you worry," Charles answered and reached over to pat Mary's hand.. "It's just…I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to support this family now that almost every business in town is closed."

"I was in the Mercantile today…" Caroline interjected, "They're only staying open for people to buy last minute supplies. Then they'll be closing too."

"Without the Mercantile, I can't leave to find work. Your Ma and the girls wouldn't have supplies until I got back…and who knows when that would be."

"What are you going to do Pa?"

"I thought we could try settling down in Winoka for a while…if that's okay with you."

"Really?"

"Now Mary, I don't want you to think we doubt you can handle yourself in Winoka…" Caroline began. "But since we have to move anyway, we'd like to be close to you, if that's okay."

Mary's eyes widened and a big smile came to her face. "Of course it's okay. The hardest part about accepting that teaching job was knowing I might never see all of you again. When do we leave?"

"We should be ready by the end of the month," answered Charles.

Mary got up from the table and walked over to the ladder heading up to the loft. "I better write a letter to Adam so he'll know when to expect us," she said as she placed her foot on the bottom rung.

"Ma…"

"Yes Mary?"

"Was it wrong of me not to admit I love Adam when John asked me?"

"I don't think so. It would only have hurt him."

Mary took her foot off the ladder and turned to face her mother. "I wasn't even sure I loved Adam until we boarded the train in Iowa. As the train moved us farther and farther away…I found myself wishing I could run back and never leave him."

"I understand," Caroline said as she glanced over at Charles. "I felt the same way about a young man once. And even now, when we're forced by circumstances to be apart, my heart aches until he returns."

"Now Caroline, don't go filling her head with such nonsense," Charles teased. "She's got a letter to write."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

John walked in to find Isaiah and Grace having dinner. Carl and Alicia were away at school.

"Hello John," Grace said with a smile. "Let me get you some dinner; it's still hot." She stood up from her chair.

"No thanks Ma. I think I'll just go to my room."

The smile left Grace's face and she looked over at Isaiah who was still seated.

"When do ya leave for Chicago?" Isaiah asked as John was about to open the door to his bedroom.

"Two weeks. That will give me enough time to wire my boss and have him set up a place for me to stay." John turned to face them.

"I'm sorry John. I hoped it would all work out," said Grace.

"It did Ma…just not in the way I wanted it to. Mary's been offered a teaching job at a blind school in Winoka, Dakota."

"I can't believe she wants to be so far away from her family."

"She doesn't, but she wants to teach and that's where the job is."

"Did Charles say anythin about pullin up stakes and movin on?" asked Isaiah.

"I didn't talk to him much," John answered.

"I wish you didn't have to go John," Grace said with sadness.

"I'm sorry Ma, but I came back to see if Mary still loved me, and she doesn't. I don't want to follow Pa and you to some strange place that doesn't feel like home. Chicago's like a second home to me; so I'll go back there and start working for the paper again while I try to put aside my feelings for Mary."

"Are you sure there's no chance for the two of you?" asked Grace.

"There isn't Ma. Mary wants to live out her dream of being a teacher…and I don't fit into that dream. But it's okay. Not that long ago, Mary put her feelings aside and watched while I chased my dream of becoming a writer. I'm just returning the favor."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Isaiah rode out to visit with Charles after dinner to see if he planned to leave Walnut Grove. His wagon pulled in front of the Ingalls house and as he turned to get down from the seat he saw Charles coming out of the barn.

Charles smiled when he saw him. "Isaiah, what a surprise. Good to see you friend."

"Good to see you too Charles. Though I was wonderin how long I would be seein ya."

"Why don't you come into the house and we can talk about it. Caroline baked a strawberry pie today."

"Don't mind if I do."

The men sat down to pie and coffee and talked about Charles' decision to move to Winoka.

"Ya never seemed like the city type Charles. Ain't the noise gonna bother ya?" asked Isaiah.

"Not as long as we're together," Charles replied. "Besides, I need a job. There'll be jobs in a city like Winoka."

"That's true."

"And Caroline wants to go?"

"None of us wants to go Isaiah. But the railroad has given us no choice. Since we're being forced to pull up stakes and move on, we want to be close to Mary."

"John's goin to Chicago."

"Mary told me," Charles answered. "How's Grace handling it?"

"She don't want him to go, but he's a man now. He's gotta make his own decisions."

"They're not kids anymore. Mary is off to teach and John's going back to the newspaper. Soon enough it will be Carl, Alicia, Laura and Carrie headed out on their own. Sometimes I wonder if they'll remember all this."

"What do ya mean?"

"Will they remember the Big Woods, and how long we traveled after we left Wisconsin? Will they remember how we all pulled together to make a home in Kansas? The pioneering life will come to an end somewhere Isaiah…and I wonder what will be left behind for my children; so they can remember what it was like."

"Guess I never thought about it before. Don't think about the future too much. I'm too busy tryin to figer out the present," Isaiah laughed at himself. "Speakin of the present, can I have some more of that pie?"

Charles laughed from deep inside himself. The first real laugh he could remember having in months. Isaiah stayed and talked for a while longer and then left for home. Charles would be sad to leave his friend behind. But that was the way of the pioneer – leaving the old life behind to start a fresh and hopefully better life in a new place.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Two weeks later John Jr. stood on the platform at the train station in Sleepy Eye. The Ingalls family came along to say goodbye. Grace had promised she wouldn't cry, but she did in spite of herself. Mary and John walked arm in arm down the platform.

"I guess this is goodbye," John said.

"I guess so."

"You'll write won't you?"

"As soon as I get settled in Winoka. Don't forget, I want clippings of all your articles."

"I won't forget," John assured her.

They hugged for a long moment. Mary wiped a stray tear from her face. She stepped back and remembered how she had stood on the same platform to say goodbye to John before he left for college.

"God bless you John."

"You too, Mary."

John picked up his bag and headed towards the train.

"Go to a window…" Mary called to him. "I want to wave as the train leaves."

"I will."

John boarded the train and found an empty window seat. The train started to move and John leaned out the window so he could see everyone. As the train went around the bend, the last thing John saw was Mary waving her white handkerchief at the end of the platform.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

A week later Isaiah was out at the Ingalls farm to help Charles pack up his wagon.

"It's been a while since the family had to travel this far," said Charles. "I appreciate your help with packin up Isaiah."

"Aw, it's nothin. What time are you leavin?"

"First light. I want to get started right away."

Isaiah looked down at his feet before answering. "Makes sense."

Both men were trying not to cry. They had been friends since they had both lived in Kansas. It was hard to think of going separate ways again.

"Isaiah, have you and Grace decided where you're going to settle?"

"Naw, she's pretty broken up bout John leavin."

"Would you want to settle in Winoka?"

"Never gave it no thought."

"I'd appreciate the company on the trip. And like I said the other day, there will be jobs in a city the size of Winoka."

"I dunno Charles. I don't really want to go back to city life"

"C'mon on Isaiah, you know it's easier to settle down where there are friends than to go to a strange place where you don't know a soul. Our kids will love it too."

Isaiah thought a moment. "You got yurself a deal. But…a…your family better come over for supper tonight."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Charles.

"Well, somebody's gotta help pack my wagon," Isaiah chuckled.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The next morning dawned clear and bright. The Edwards family made their way over to the Ingalls place and helped Charles load the last few things onto the wagon.

"I made some extra biscuits for you Grace," Caroline said, and handed the basket up to her friend who was on the wagon seat next to Isaiah.

"Well then, it will be my job to make supper tonight."

Caroline nodded in agreement and then took her place beside Charles in their wagon. Charles handed baby Grace to Caroline and took hold of the reins. The Ingalls family took one last look at the house. It held so many memories; and of all the places they had lived, this was the one they considered home. Charles chirruped to the horses and both wagons began the long journey to Winoka, Dakota.

Charles didn't know if Winoka would be the last stop he and his family would make as pioneers. He hoped not. Even though it was an unspoken rule that the pioneer never backtracked, Charles hoped one day to return to Walnut Grove, and to the little house on the prairie.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

EPILOGUE

Winoka, Dakota wasn't the last stop for the Ingalls family. After a short time, the noise and chaos of the city drove Charles to make one of the most difficult decisions a father has to make. He left his daughter Mary and took the rest of his family back home to Walnut Grove. Charles and Caroline would travel back to Winoka to attend Adam and Mary's wedding.

The Edwards family moved east after their time in Winoka and Charles bid farewell to his dear friend once again. But this would not be the last time Charles and Isaiah saw one another. For somewhere in Chicago's future, deals were being made and money was exchanged. A young reporter for the Chicago Tribune would stumble upon these happenings…and it would cost him his life. Distraught and full of grief, Isaiah would contact his dear friend Charles to help him discover why John Jr. had been killed.

Note: Even though according to the series, Charles and Laura paid a visit to Mr. Edwards prior to John Jr.'s death, I have excluded that part for the purpose of this story.