Asylum

By Katsuya Kaiba

"…Mahado!" Zahra whispered as loudly as he could, and when Mahado didn't look up he leaned over further and spoke just a little louder. "Mahado!" Mahado did look up this time, and Zahra waved at him, motioning for him to come over into the temple. Zahra pulled his head back through the doorway that led from the temple into the palace, and he waited for Mahado to enter into the hallway, not wanting to go into the throne room while all the priests were there, seeing Mahado off. Mahado ducked into the doorway and looked at Zahra silently, waiting for him to speak.

"You still haven't told him, have you?" Zahra put his hands on his hips and glared at Mahado, and Mahado's eyes widened, thinking that Zahra was truly angry.

"I…I couldn't. I though that it would be bad to say it right before I leave."

Zahra smiled and let his arms fall, showing Mahado that he wasn't really angry. "That was good…I didn't think about that. But I had the greatest idea…why don't you get him something in Hermopolis and bring it back for him? That way you could give it to him when you get back before you tell him."

Mahado blinked and quietly thought the idea out in his head. "It's a good idea…but he has everything he needs."

"Well…get him something that he wants. It doesn't have to be anything too extravagant. Just find something that you know he'll like. I know that you know what he likes." Zahra grinned at Mahado, who smiled back weakly, but he didn't say anything at first and Zahra held up his hands to Mahado, showing him his bracelets. "Look, Mahado…it worked for Sethe. Why wouldn't it work for you?"

Mahado smiled, the first real smile that Zahra had ever seen on him, and Zahra pushed him out of the doorway. "I want to see it when you get back, okay?" Mahado nodded and then waved good-bye to Zahra, who waved happily back, congratulating himself for a job well done.

I just hope he knows what to get him…but I'm sure that he does. I can't wait until he gets back. I want to see what he picks out. Oh…and we'll have to work on what he's planning to say to the Pharaoh…I'm sure that he'll need help with that.

Zahra wandered cheerfully through the dim hallways of the temple, wondering where Sethe had run off to. He hadn't been gone long, but Sethe wasn't where he had been, in the library, and Zahra frowned and wandered around the temple, trying to find Sethe and finding nothing but empty rooms.

He isn't in the main shrine, that's for sure…but he doesn't seem to be anywhere else, either.

He strolled casually through the halls towards the front of the temple, hearing voices from a distance suddenly, accompanied by the familiar feel of Sethe's irritation. Zahra crept up slowly and heard the voices getting louder, and he flattened himself against the wall and peeked around the corner, seeing Sethe and the Pharaoh standing face to face in the sunlight, speaking in calm voices. Zahra knew that Sethe wasn't happy with the conversation, and he listened closely, able to make out what they were saying clearly.

"Sethe, I don't have time for this right now. Mahado is about to leave, and I want to be there to see him go. But I will come back, and I want to hear the truth when I do. If this is Zahra's fault…we'll talk about this later."

That was the Pharaoh, and he sounded pretty upset, although his voice was level. Perhaps it was the way that he felt. Zahra instantly knew what they were talking about, and he wasn't sure what Sethe was going to say, but he knew that he'd probably try to cover up what really happened. Zahra cringed, the relentless feeling of guilt sneaking back up in him quietly. He heard footsteps slowly dissipating into the temple, and as soon as he was sure that the Pharaoh was gone, he stepped out from the hall he hid in and hesitantly approached Sethe, who watched the Pharaoh go and didn't even see Zahra coming. Zahra snuck up behind him and leaned against his back, holding onto to Sethe's waist, and Sethe started slightly at the unexpected contact.

"Oh, good. You were listening." Sethe's tone was dry, but Zahra knew that he was only upset, not angry. At least not at Zahra.

"You're not going to tell him the truth." It wasn't a question, and Zahra already knew the answer, anyway.

"I can't. I don't want to lie to him…but he just doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, and he just doesn't care anymore. I feel as though things have changed between us…but I'm not sure when that happened." His voice fell as he spoke, sounding irritated at first but then changing slowly into a confused sort or sadness, and he paused briefly before continuing. "It's as though…he's beginning to feel the same way about us as everyone else. Perhaps he always did, and I just didn't see it."

"No…" Zahra let go of Sethe and walked around to face him. "He's worried. He knows that I…that I'm the one that hurt your eye." Zahra held on to his arms and looked away, knowing that any sort of conflict between the two had most certainly been caused by him, and only him. "Maybe you should tell him the truth."

Sethe frowned and took Zahra's hand quickly, almost forcefully, and led him back into the depths of the temple. "No. I can't, and I won't. It's too risky…he might try to send you away, and I won't allow it." Sethe's voice was louder now, and he spoke confidently, as though he weren't at all worried about the situation. Zahra had to walk quickly to keep up with his pace, and he stumbled a bit and pulled himself back up by the hand that Sethe held onto tightly.

"But…wouldn't it be even riskier to lie to him? He is the Pharaoh…and what if he asks me about it? What would I do?"

"You would tell him exactly what I'm going to tell him, that it was my fault, and my accident." Zahra stopped walking suddenly and pulled his hand out of Sethe's grasp, standing still in the hallway and staring at Sethe in disbelief.

"You want me to…to lie to him? Sethe…I can't! I can't lie to the Pharaoh. Are you crazy?" Zahra instantly fell into a panic the moment that he realized what Sethe wanted for him to do, and looked at Sethe, waiting for him to respond. Sethe appeared angry, for just a moment, and then he cooled off into frustration, but when he spoke to Zahra his tone was much sharper than Zahra had heard in months.

"Yes…you can, and you'll have to. Do you think that I want to lie to him? I don't…I really don't want to, but I have to. And so do you."

Zahra suddenly felt as though Sethe wasn't even giving him a choice in the matter, which he wasn't, and he reacted on his initial feeling of being backed into a corner with no way out. He already felt guilty enough, and to lie about what he'd done, to the Pharaoh, no less, was something that he wasn't sure that he could do. "No. I…why are you being like this? I don't want to. I can't!" He took a deep breath and watched as Sethe's eyes narrowed, and he subconsciously stared at the shattered part in Sethe's eye as he waited for Sethe to explode, feeling sure that it was coming. Sethe opened his mouth, but then he closed it again and looked away for a few seconds, speaking to the wall in a calm and empty tone.

"Perhaps you don't understand. If I tell him what truly happened, it will only prove to him that he was right before, and that you're too dangerous to keep in the temple. If he decides to send you away…there won't be a thing that I can do about it. I'm willing to do anything I can to make sure that it doesn't happen. But if you'd rather that happen, then tell him whatever you wish." Sethe closed his eyes and turned away, walking further down the hallway, and Zahra didn't follow him, not knowing if that was what Sethe wanted him to do or not. It didn't look that way.

Zahra watched him go and blinked angrily at the tears in front of his eyes, wiping them away irritably with his arm. Sethe hadn't ever been angry with him, and Zahra wasn't sure what he should do, but he thought that maybe it was best to wait until Sethe wasn't upset any longer. And that could take hours, Zahra remembered with a sigh. He felt worse than he had before, when all he had done was hurt Sethe. Now he had hurt Sethe, made him upset, and had to lie to the Pharaoh so that he wouldn't lose Sethe forever. Nothing could ever be simple. There never seemed to be a day when it was just he and Sethe, being together with no troubles and nothing to worry about. Nothing to look forward to and nothing to fear. Zahra wished for a day like that, one where there weren't any shadows creeping in the farthest recesses of his mind, waiting to strike out the moment that Zahra wasn't looking.

Zahra stared nervously at the open doorway, sitting at the table in the library. Someone was coming, and it wasn't Sethe. Zahra hadn't seen Sethe for hours, and he'd been moping around miserably the entire time, trying to work up the nerve to go and look for him to apologize. But now this someone had his attention, and he wasn't too surprised to see the Pharaoh walk inside the room, his eyes falling on Zahra immediately. He came to stand in front of the table Zahra sat at, and Zahra straightened his posture and smiled a cheerfully as he could, but the Pharaoh was too preoccupied to smile back, and he began to speak immediately.

"Zahra…Sethe told me that there has been an accident, and he's lost his sight in one eye. He claims that it was entirely his fault…is that true?" Zahra blinked and swallowed hard, knowing that he had to make his decision, and it had to be now. Sethe suddenly walked quickly into the room and his eyes widened as he took in the situation, but he stood behind the Pharaoh silently and watched. The Pharaoh turned quickly and saw Sethe, but he said nothing to him and instead turned back to stare at Zahra, who had his mouth open and was trying to get the words out of his mouth.

I can't leave…I won't leave… Zahra looked at Sethe quickly to see if he was still angry, but he only looked desperately at Zahra with a stricken look on his face, and Zahra looked back to the Pharaoh and nodded.

"I was there…but it wasn't me." Zahra tried his absolute best to appear calm and collected, but he was almost positive that the Pharaoh could see right through his lie, and he picked at his nails nervously and tried to think of other things, and ultimately failed. The Pharaoh made an odd noise, a frustrated sigh, and he turned back to look at Sethe, and Zahra glanced up again to watch them. The Pharaoh opened his mouth to speak, and before he could even get the first word out Zahra already knew just how unhappy he was.

"Sethe…it isn't that I believe that you would lie to me…but I do believe that you would do anything at all for Zahra, even if it meant betraying your position. If you are…please do not let me find out." He closed his eyes and walked out of the room, and Sethe watched him go silently, looking very calm and thoughtful as he stared. Zahra felt as though he would scream for all of the tension in the room, but Sethe turned his blue eyes back to his and he froze, remembering that Sethe was angry with him. He stood up abruptly and tried to slip past him out of the room, but Sethe's arm reached out suddenly and caught Zahra by the waist.

"…Don't go." Zahra paused where he was and looked up at Sethe, who hadn't moved, and wasn't yet looking back at Zahra. He stared quietly at the floor for a moment, and then he pulled on Zahra's waist and brought him to stand in front of him. Zahra moved willingly, and watched Sethe's face as Sethe brought his eyes to Zahra's slowly.

"I didn't know what you were going to say." His voice was small and filled with uncertainty, but Zahra closed his eyes and pressed the side of his face into Sethe and held on closely.

"…I did." Sethe said nothing to that and instead pulled Zahra closer. "I'm sorry…please don't be angry with me."

"I wasn't ever angry. I was scared…that you might have to go…" Sethe trailed off into silence and remained still for a moment, but then he suddenly sprang into action and leaned back to look at Zahra, who lifted his head with a smile. "But there isn't anything to be afraid of. Not when we're so close…it won't be long now until you belong to the temple. Then you won't be able to leave. Not until you die." Sethe took Zahra's hand and pulled him through the doorway, smiling softly. "Come on…let's go and seal the shrine."

"How long now until Mahado gets back?" Zahra was impatient for his return, and it felt as though he had been gone forever.

"He's only been gone for five days…it'll be at least another five." Sethe sat down on the edge of the bed after he had changed into his sleeping clothes, and he watched Zahra curiously as he sat down on the other side. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

Zahra smiled to himself and shrugged. "Mmm…when he gets back, he's going to tell the Pharaoh. And I promised to help him."

Sethe smirked at that and swung his legs onto the bed, lying down next to Zahra. "Oh…so he's really going to go through with this? And on your advice? He's more smitten that I thought." Zahra frowned at Sethe and lay down on his side to face him.

"You're so mean. For your information, my advice is perfectly fine…and I don't see you trying to help him any. You would have just let him go on like that forever, wouldn't you?"

"It isn't any of my business what he does or who he's on about. It's his problem if he can't work up the courage to tell the Pharaoh, and I still don't think that he will."

Zahra grinned at Sethe and poked him in the arm. "Oh, right…you're one to talk. I seem to recall a certain someone who acted just the same."

Sethe watched Zahra poke him with an upturned nose, and then turned to look at the ceiling, defeated. "Hmph. Well, you know now. And it isn't my fault that you found out."

"Someone had to say something…" Zahra moved over and lay on his stomach beside Sethe. "…And you weren't going to."

Sethe glared downwards. "I was."

Zahra laughed at that and kissed Sethe quickly on the mouth. "Right." Sethe grinned and moved suddenly, flipping Zahra over on the bed until Zahra lay on his back and Sethe was above him, and Zahra kept on laughing until Sethe kissed him again, a bit miffed at Zahra's amusement.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter so much." Zahra watched Sethe's eyes and lowered his own, hearing the shift in Sethe's voice, and Sethe moved in closer and bit down on Zahra's ear. "I took what I wanted."

Zahra drew his breath between his teeth and closed his eyes, feeling a change in himself as well, and he lifted his arms and set them on Sethe's shoulders and pulled him down closer. His heartbeat immediately picked up speed, and he smiled slightly when he felt teeth grazing down his neck and he turned his head to the side.

"Ekh kua tuau, Desher Merew." Sethe smirked at that against Zahra's neck and whispered into his skin.

"Maku-a ka-ek." He lifted his head and kissed Zahra slowly on the mouth, and Zahra shifted his legs slightly and lifted his knees, so that Sethe lay between his legs. Sethe pressed his mouth increasingly harder against Zahra's, and after a few moments had passed Zahra felt one of Sethe's hands running over his chest and down further slowly, searching for the ends of the fabric that Zahra wore, and Zahra moaned deep in the back of his throat as Sethe bit down on his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and Sethe kissed him deeper, slipping a hand underneath Zahra's clothes and trailing his fingers over his ankle and up his calf, over his bent knee, and then Zahra noticed something and his lips paused under Sethe's and he listened closely, unsure of what he had felt or heard exactly. It had sounded like someone was calling him, and Sethe's hand came to a slow halt along Zahra's thigh and he raised his head, watching Zahra closely. "Hereret?"

"Shhh…" Zahra placed his fingers lightly on Sethe's lips and shook his head, whispering quietly. "Didn't you hear that?"

Sethe only paused long enough to give Zahra an odd look and a short sentence. "There was nothing." He smiled softly and touched the side of Zahra's face for a moment, then moved his fingers to his chin and pushed it slightly to the right. Zahra complied, still feeling uneasy but unable to hold on to the feeling as Sethe leaned over and passed his tongue over the hollow at the base of Zahra's throat, moving over to the side and catching the skin of Zahra's neck between his teeth. Zahra cringed at the sudden pain but he allowed Sethe to do it, feeling the sharp twinges of a bruise begin to form on the side of his neck.

The pain began to recede suddenly, and Zahra thought that Sethe had moved away but when he lifted his hand to run it through Sethe's hair he found that Sethe still had his skin, only Zahra couldn't feel it anymore.

"Sethe…" Zahra pushed lightly on Sethe's shoulders, and he realized in a small panic that he could barely feel that, as well, and he gripped tightly to the fabric that Sethe wore, trying to find the feel of it against the skin of his hands. Sethe pushed himself up by his hands and looked at Zahra dazedly, trying to pull himself out of a haze.

"What's wrong?"

Sethe was so close, yet the sound of his words barely reached Zahra's ears, and he had to strain to hear them. His eyes widened as he realized this, and he opened his mouth to speak but he stopped, suddenly feeling just as though pieces of himself were breaking away, and although he couldn't see it or hear it, he knew that something was wrong, something was happening to him and he panicked. He couldn't hear himself speaking, but he spoke just the same and hoped that his voice was working so that Sethe could hear him. His breaths began to come quicker and less evenly, and his face felt streaked with terror.

"Sethe, Sethe, something's wrong…I can't hear, I can't hear myself…I can't feel you." Zahra looked up into Sethe's eyes and felt as though he might have cried, had he been able to. Perhaps he was, and he just couldn't feel it happening. "…I'm scared."

Sethe looked scared, as well, and he sat up on his knees and pulled Zahra forward, and Zahra tried to pull himself up but he found that he was too weak, but Sethe leaned forward and held him by the waist, pulling him against his chest and holding him there. Zahra let his head lean on Sethe's shoulder and lost the last of his awareness right then, sinking into an odd sort of unconsciousness that wasn't unconsciousness at all. It was like being fully awake, only deprived of every sense that he had. His eyelids seemed to slide shut, but Zahra suspected that they hadn't, and thought that his eyesight had merely faded away, just as his hearing and his sense of touch had moments ago. He was strangely aware of the fact that Sethe still held him, was still speaking to him, but there wasn't any way for Zahra to receive it, any of it, and instead he simply existed on a basic level, unaware of the world around him. His mind desperately reached out for anything at all that was familiar, and before too long, or maybe hours instead, Zahra felt himself growing weak in his mind, as well, and he slipped even deeper into something that made him forget where or who he was, drowning in the absence of something crucial within him.

Zahra came back into himself suddenly and without any warning at all, and it startled him so badly that he gasped aloud and sat upright, blinking with wide eyes and searching all around him. He almost couldn't remember who he had been, but the sight of Sethe brought everything back and he remembered his fear and felt his heart immediately begin to beat uncontrollably. Sethe looked more tired and worried than anything and had been sitting right beside him on the bed, and he started when Zahra came back so suddenly.

"Zahra…what happened?" Zahra shook his head wordlessly and reached out to Sethe with tears of fear in his eyes, and Sethe took him close and waited for Zahra to respond. Zahra closed his eyes against Sethe's chest and tried to remember what had happened to him, but nothing came.

"I don't know…I just slipped away. I couldn't stop it…" He blinked away the tears and took deep breaths, trying to calm his heart. "How long ago…?"

"At least an hour…maybe more. God, I was so worried…I couldn't do anything to stop it." Sethe's arms tightened and Zahra relaxed a little more, thinking of what could have possibly happened, and coming up with nothing. "It was as though your Ba just up and left your body…on it's own. But that doesn't make sense…if it was here, I would have seen it. And anyway, Ba does not do that. Never while you're awake. But there isn't any other explanation…Zahra do you remember seeing anything?"

"No…I couldn't see a thing."

…What's wrong with me? I just passed out, for no reason. But it was more than that…something left me, something important. Zahra felt Sethe move back and he lifted his head and stared into his eyes. Sethe studied him for a moment, and then smiled weakly and kissed him lightly on the forehead, brushing back his bangs a bit.

"It's okay…I'm just glad that you're alright." Zahra smiled back, feeling as though things couldn't be as simple as Sethe thought they were. Just because Zahra was back didn't make everything alright.

"Sethe…I think it's bad…whatever it is. I don't feel very good about this." Sethe shook his head and pulled Zahra back against him.

"I know…but there isn't anything we can do. Not right now. If it's your Ba, we'll figure it all out when Mahado returns. Can you sleep?" Zahra nodded his head against Sethe, although he knew that he had been gone for awhile, he felt more tired than ever before. But he hadn't done a thing…

Sethe sat back slowly and laid down, taking Zahra along with him, and Zahra could feel his weariness immediately tugging on his eyelids, although he frowned at the sensation before giving in. None of it made any sense, and Zahra felt that it wasn't likely to, not right away, at least. He prayed that it didn't have anything to do with his Ba, because if it did…Zahra squeezed his eyes shut and curled up closer to Sethe, willing the thought away. He would never be that thing. It wasn't who he was inside, and Sethe had said that your Ba is what makes you who you are. Zahra had never felt so sure about anything, and he tried to smile but found that he was just too tired for that, and instead he let himself fall asleep.

I know who I am…I'm Zahra, and I've never been anything else. I would remember it, if I had. And even if not…I know that I am not the sort of person who would do the things that the Lord of Red has done. No…it must be somebody else. I'm not afraid…I can't be afraid. When Mahado returns, I'll tell Sethe that it's alright to draw out my Ba, and then everything will be over, and there won't be anything left to worry about. Nothing that concerns the Lord of Red, anyway. He might as well not even exist, for all I care. It's only a story, a dead story that no one knows anymore. It can't hurt me.

"Hey…where's Mahado? He supposed to be here…" Zahra laid his head on the table and sighed, feeling the hour of the day. It was almost time to seal the shrine, and still no sign of Mahado, which left Zahra feeling irritable and overanxious. Sethe looked over across the table at Zahra's frustration and frowned, having nearly forgotten about the time.

"Well…it is a bit strange. Mahado wouldn't ever stay away from the palace a second longer than he needed to. Maybe those idiots in Hermopolis gave him a hard time. They haven't got the slightest idea of what they're doing over there." Sethe's voice trailed off and he sneered at his book, showing his contempt for the priests who ran the other temple to Amun-Ra. Zahra smiled and lifted his head from the table, not at all surprised to hear that Sethe thought little of others who held the same profession as he did.

"I bet they're just fine…but they're nowhere near as good as you are."

Sethe smirked to himself and leaned back into his chair, and Zahra went to rest his head on the table once more, but something held him up and his heart held still for a second. He reached up to touch his chest, but a feeling of absolute horror filled his heart, and he looked up at Sethe and spoke, hearing himself as he did and having trouble understanding the words. "Sethe…the Pharaoh…he's…something's happened. We have to go." Sethe watched as Zahra stood up from his chair and ran out the door, hoping that Sethe would follow him to the palace. He heard something coming up behind him, but he didn't look back and kept running, all the while hearing the same thing in his head, over and over again, and he couldn't see or hear why it was.

I have to go…I have to go and see what happened.

Zahra ran through the doorway to the palace with Sethe just behind him, but both of them stopped as soon as they were close to the center of the throne room, and Zahra stared silently and tried to understand what was happening. The very first thing that he saw was the Pharaoh, on his knees with his face in his hands, and Isis was kneeling just behind him and trying to get him to stand, but he wasn't having any of it. There were two priests standing solemnly in front of the Pharaoh and they were avidly looking elsewhere, as though they knew that they didn't belong.

I've never seen those priests before…they're dressed differently than the priests here. Where are they from? And what's wrong with the Pharaoh? He's crying…

Sethe moved suddenly, walking past Zahra and approaching the Pharaoh slowly, eyeing the strange priests suspiciously, and he knelt in front of the Pharaoh and glared at Isis, who had the good sense to back away, although it was begrudgingly. Sethe set his hands on the Pharaoh's shoulders and he looked up suddenly at Sethe and then fell forward, and Sethe held him as he cried. Zahra watched everything happen as though it weren't really happening, and then Sethe glanced up at Zahra and motioned towards the strange priests who stood just behind him, and Zahra moved towards them cautiously, taking care not to look at the priests that he knew, who were awkwardly standing a few feet away from where the Pharaoh and Sethe knelt, looking at one another in fear.

"Excuse me…what's happened?"

The younger of the two priests looked to the older, and then he spoke solemnly.

"Hermopolis is gone."

Zahra looked behind him to see if Sethe heard, and from the wide-eyed look that he gave Zahra, it appeared that he had. He swallowed hard and then turned back to the priests, forcing himself to speak.

"…Gone?"

The younger priest nodded. "We're from the temple of Asar in Abedju, and Hermopolis is less than a day's walk away. It…it must have happened sometime in the night. One day it was there, and the next, it was nothing but ashes."

"We came as soon as we could to tell the Pharaoh of what had happened. It's just the same as Memphis…" The older priest looked at the ground as he spoke. "Heliopolis is now the last sacred city left in Egypt. The last temple to Amun-Ra." Both of them fell silent, looked at one another, and then stepped back from Zahra. Zahra turned slowly, as if in a dream, and watched the Pharaoh as he cried inconsolably, despite Sethe's best efforts. Zahra knew that if Sethe couldn't help him, then no one could, and his single thought was the same as the Pharaohs, which echoed louder in his mind that anything else ever had. Zahra hadn't even thought to read the Pharaohs mind, but the sound of his thoughts was something that Zahra couldn't escape from, and as he realized what was truly wrong, his eyes widened and filled with tears of disbelief.

Mahado. Mahado was in Hermopolis…and he never came back. Zahra met Sethe's eyes and they stared silently, Zahra standing motionless and Sethe trying to calm the Pharaoh, and Zahra blinked and then broke their gaze and walked out of the throne room, knowing exactly where he was going before he could even think of it. Sethe didn't follow him, and Zahra didn't want him to. It wasn't something that he wouldn't have been able to do with Sethe watching over him.

Zahra unconsciously held onto to his necklace as he walked through the doorway of the main shrine and lit himself a torch, taking it down the hallways until he reached the darkest of them all, and he strode firmly through the shadows and past the spellroom, pushing open the door to the shrine of Suti confidently, knowing that it wouldn't ever be locked against him. The darkness was deep but he didn't care any longer, and he walked into the room and lit the fire against the back wall, leaving the stick in the flame to burn. He turned and walked across the room, shutting the door behind him, and as soon as he took one last shaky breath he knelt in front of the shrine itself and closed his eyes.

I'm as ready as I'll ever be…and now, more than ever, I need to remember.

He knew that there were tears on his face, and they weren't going to stop falling anytime soon. He didn't ever bother to try and brush them away. He didn't question what had led him here, and he didn't do anything for a very long couple of moments, collecting himself and trying to wrap at least some of his mind around the situation. That night…had been the night. He was almost positive. But he had to know for sure. He kept his eyes closed and opened his thoughts, reading the shrine in the same way that he read everything else, and he knew that he wasn't alone.

"Mahado is gone." He spoke without thinking, and the first thing that popped into his mind was the silent response he sought, disguised as one of his own thoughts, but it was thought in such a manner that Zahra had never placed his thoughts before, and he knew immediately that it was not his own.

It isn't a question…he's met his Ka.

"It was my Ba that killed him.

It was the Lord of Red.

Who... Zahra took back his thoughts and breathed deeply before he gave them up again. I'm sure…I need to know.

"Who is the Lord of Red?"

…

There was nothing. No thoughts, and no answers, and Zahra nearly screamed in frustration. Why didn't anyone have the answer to that question? It seemed as though he had asked it a million times to a million different people, and each answer was just as different and just as cryptic. And now, the one person who should have known more than anyone wasn't going to answer. He frowned and spoke loudly, knowing that this was his last resort.

"Who is he…is it me? Did I do all those horrible things? Am I the one responsible for everything? Tell me…no one will tell me."

No one can tell me who I am.

Zahra nearly gasped aloud, but he knew what was meant by it and he knew what to say in response. "No one can…but I know already."

Try it again.

Zahra bit his lip and held back a sob. "I am the Lord of Red."

Of course I am. There wasn't ever any doubt.

"But…I did not do those things."

That much is clear. I wouldn't ever do a thing like that. I know who I am.

"But…" Zahra kept his eyes closed, afraid of what he might have seen had he opened them, and he continued. "But if I didn't do them…"

Then who did?

Zahra had no clue. "I've never been able to call out my Ba. But didn't Sethe say that-"

That there were others who could.

"Sethe is one of them…but there must be more. But can they draw from anyone, at anytime?"

Not from me. The Lord of Red is more than just Ba. He cannot be called out without this.

Zahra lost his balance for a second and he caught an image of something in his mind, keeping his eyes closed as he looked at it and steadied himself on his knees. It was something that he had never see before, and although he didn't understand what it was, he knew that he would see it soon enough.

Soon enough…the one who holds it is near. And in his grasp lies the end of Egypt.

Zahra's breath caught in his throat, and he frowned into the darkness. The end…of Egypt? But that would be the end of everything. "No…it can't be. This can't be the end. I don't understand."

There isn't anything to misunderstand. There was a beginning, and now there is an end. It is the same with all things. The Book of Hours is closing, and nothing will remain.

"But…but why now?"

Memphis…Hermopolis…they are both gone. Out of all three sacred cities, only one is left standing. As soon as Heliopolis falls, Egypt will follow. And so will I, and everyone else who lives in the Black Land.

There had to be some other way. Zahra refused to accept it. "But what about Sethe? I won't let him go."

He won't let me go. He will choose his end, just as selfishly as I will. The fate of Egypt is in his hands, but he will choose me instead.

The end of Sethe…Zahra's tears fell freshly through his closed lids, and his head hung low, knowing that there most likely wasn't a way to fight this, the will of the god that he was bound to. "…Please…I don't care…about Egypt. I only want to keep Sethe. Isn't there any way that I can have that? I would destroy Egypt myself, if it meant that I could hold on to him forever."

There was only silence at first, and Zahra held his breath and waited for an answer. Let Egypt fall…Zahra had no connection to it anyhow. He didn't even belong there, and neither did Sethe. Why should they have to fall for its sake?

…You may have this. Zahra's mind cleared in that moment and he saw the exact form and path for a spell, a spell that he knew he was capable of performing. In that second he knew what the spell would do, and what it meant, and he smiled briefly and took it, along with the Heka that was offered.

Only this Heka will do. Without it, you won't be able to cast the spell, since your Ba will leave you tonight for the last time. To cast this spell would be a mistake…but you will cast it anyway.

Zahra nodded his head. It was all that he had. He had no control over anything, not even himself or his Ba, but even if it killed him he would keep the only thing that he had ever wanted. He might not have ever been allowed to control his own life, but he would choose his death, and whatever came afterwards, as well. "How much time is left?"

It has already begun. The one who holds the key is in the palace.

The one who controlled Zahra's Ba was already there. There was no time left…Zahra clenched his fists and steadied his mouth, determined to stay strong, if only just this once. There wasn't anything he wanted more than to just let Sethe fix everything for him. But that wasn't possible, and there wasn't anything left to fix. And in just a short while, there wouldn't be anything left at all. Was it something that he wanted, to know how and when he was going to die? Perhaps not…but then, he could be sure to tell Sethe everything he needed to say…if he got the chance. He realized that he needed to leave.

"Who is it…who is controlling my Ba? What does he want with it?"

He wants what is, the end of Egypt. The leader of the Shemsu-Suti from the Red Lands, a descendant of the ones cast out of Egypt long ago. They have been waiting for you to be born, clinging to the anger of the Old Kingdom. He will have his way, and take revenge on the followers of Amun-Ra.

"Who…who is right and who is wrong?" Zahra knew everything there was to know about the situation, and yet he still hadn't found the answer to that. It was something that had been lying underneath the face of Egypt since it had begun, and it seemed foolish almost, at least to Zahra, that something so full and rich should come to such a petty end. And who was to blame…? The Shemsu-Suti? Or the Shemsu-Amun-Ra? If it was the Shemsu-Suti, that would mean that everyone around Sethe and Zahra had been correct, and they were undeserving of the life that they led. But they hadn't ever done a thing wrong to anyone, ever, and bore a burden that had been given to them by names and faces that they had never met, being long since dead. But if it was the Shemsu-Amun-Ra, that would only make people like Mahado responsible…and that didn't make any sense, either. Why couldn't it all just be forgotten? The Red Lands and the Black Lands…why couldn't it just be Egypt?

Everything is right, and everyone is wrong. Their quarrel is only a means to the end. A kingdom built on betrayal will surely fall, no matter how powerful it becomes. The foundations of Egypt began to crumble the moment that the gods learned what it was to hate one another…and that fault lies in each of them. It will all be forgotten soon…but you will remember. And so will Sethe…if you cast that spell.

"I will…the moment that I have the chance." Zahra shifted on his knees, knowing that things were happening somewhere without him, and that Sethe was there, waiting for him. "I have to go."

You do…and you should. But don't forget…Sethe still does not know, but he will know before everything falls apart. You can't keep it from him any longer.

"I know. But he will love me, regardless."

He will. And he will play my part, as you have played the Lord of Red, and he will turn his back on Amun-Ra, just as I did. You never told him how the story ended, but he will learn it on his own. Everything is better this way…this dissension has gone on long enough. Will you end it?

"…I'll try…" Zahra knew in his heart that he did not want to. He wanted to forget what he knew…until he realized that it would mean to forget Sethe, as well, and he opened his eyes and found himself kneeling in the center of an empty shrine. He had forgotten where he was. He stood up silently and wondered if it had all been just him, thinking to himself, but he was almost positive that it as impossible. He hadn't been aware of all that.

Well…it doesn't matter. Whatever happens now…Sethe can't take it away. And neither can I. No one is going to see tomorrow…but if I use this spell, I can take Sethe with me, no matter where I go in death. Zahra swallowed hard at the thought, and pushed open the door to the shrine, shutting down the various parts of his mind that screamed at him to run for Sethe in a blind panic, to deny what he had heard, or to simply run, as he had run all the way here. But even then, he had admitted the truth to himself, on that very day that he had escaped and met Sethe in the temple entryway. He had known that this was the last place left for him, and if he couldn't stay here, then he would most certainly die. He had only prolonged the inevitable…and the time that he had bought with his actions was short. But it had been worth it. The mere months that he had lived in the temple were worth infinitely more than the seventeen years that he had spent wandering aimlessly in servitude, not knowing what he was or whom he loved. No…everything was better this way. Zahra had no idea how it was that he was able to stay so calm as he left the room and walked back towards the palace, but he knew that it wouldn't last. He wasn't strong, and he wasn't selfless, and he was going to cast that spell.

AN: Second to last chapter, up...I feel so sad. It's so over...but hey...oh...I've got nothing. It's real sad. There's nothing for it. For those of you who read Clear Vision (btw, sorry for that. All I can do is sincerely hope that I have somewhat improved as a writer since then...it was a LONG time ago...yeah. I can't make up for it. Oh, but anyway, for those of you who have read Clear Vision, you know what the spell is, so that sort of blows. But remember the dream? The dream that Joey had, that made him remember all of this? It finally happens. One more chapter. Let me know what you're thinking. It means something. Hey, maybe tonight, you'll have a dream, and remember your past life. If you do, you have to tell me all about it. It sounds fascinating.

Aigh...so sleepy. Review...if you wish. It's quite helpful to see how all of this affects you, or does not affect you...you see where i'm going with this.