A/N: Hello!! Here it is …
DISCLAIMER: "Good writers borrow from other writers … Great writers steal from them outright." So said Sam Seabourne in The West Wing … And I have stolen that line, aswell as the characters and worlds of JK Rowling, and the songs of Lennon/McCartney and just McCartney … It doesn't automatically make me a great writer, unfortunately …
Chapter 19: Actually Moving on … and catching Beatlemania!
Lena wondered why Sirius had left. Remus was sitting on Lily's bed, holding an old-looking photograph. Lena looked at the back of it.
"Do you want to see it?" Remus asked. He handed it over. Two young boys, about five, and completely identical, were playing on toy broomsticks. She recognized their eyes the slightly tired look that was almost always present in Remus' eyes. They had his hair, too … they looked remarkably like Remus, actually …
"Yeah, that's me on the right," he said. "And that's my twin, his name was—"
"Romulus," she guessed. Remus nodded. She was speaking, which was more than he had expected. "After Romulus and Remus, who founded the city of Rome. Dad told me the story …" She trailed off, feeling the lump rise in her throat, and practically willing it to make her cry, but she couldn't ...In the picture, Remus chased his brother in and out of the boundaries of the picture, attempting to seize a Quaffle (that was almost bigger than both boys) from him. Lena felt a question forming in her head, but didn't think she could ask it.
"Always been a Chaser, then?" she asked instead. Remus grinned.
"Yep. I wasn't born holding a Quaffle, like you or James, but we played with our older brother Toto's from an early age. He was Keeper," Remus explained, "when he was at Hogwarts. He moved to Italy after school, he works at their Ministry now. My mum's Italian, she moved to England when she was younger, but we have lots of family there. That's where the names Salvatore, Romulus and Remus come from. Toto would have been Luca, after our grandfather, but Luca Lupin – well, you know. So instead he was named after our great uncle, who was Italian Minister for Magic."
"Is Toto much older than you?" Lena wondered.
"About 16 years," he told her. "He comes back at Christmas and that, to see me, tease me mercilessly, all that," Remus went on.
"What else are big brothers for?" Lena said. Remus laughed.
"He's great, if a bit annoying," he said. Lena couldn't stop staring at the picture of the young boys ...they were so alike … she'd know if Romulus was at Hogwarts, and he definitely wasn't … So where was he?
"Was he always picking on you when you were younger?" Lena asked.
"Yes," Remus said without hesitation. "Constantly. 'Course, we used to gang up on him, but it was never much of a competition: two five-year-olds versus a twenty-one year old. And then, after Romulus died, it was just me, and needless to say, I never won by myself." Lena was shocked.
"How old—" she started to ask.
"We were nearly six," he answered. She was about to raise another horrible question, but he answered it before she had the chance.
"Toto was home from Italy, and brought his girlfriend, Andrea," he started. "He was going to propose, and bought her this beautiful ring … He left it in our living room, and Romulus found it and put it in his mouth, and choked on it," he said. "It was horrible afterwards, Toto blamed himself for leaving it out, Mum blamed herself for taking her eye off us, and dad blamed himself for not getting him to the hospital on time. I just wandered around, looking for my brother for a while …" Silence greeted his story.
"But," Lena said after a while, "don't you feel guilty?"
"I didn't really understand what had happened, I was only five," he said. "I did wonder that I'd done something wrong, sometimes."
"No – not because he died, but because you're alive?" Lena asked. "Because – because you're getting on with your life and they can't? And because – sometimes you think that you might be ok without them?" Remus knew now what Lena was worried about.
"Honestly … sometimes," he admitted. "But I am alive, for some reason. And I know that he'd want to live life to the full, so that's what I try to do. I realize I'm lucky to be here. And – Lena, believe me – you'll never forget them. There's nothing wrong with moving on. That's what your parents would have wanted." The tears that Lena had been searching for the past few weeks suddenly bubbled up from within her, and she started to cry. Remus sent a jet of red sparks down the stairs, and went to comfort her. Sirius came bounding up the stairs and took over. Sirius shot Remus a grateful look as he collected his photograph, and left.
"You helped Lena," he told himself as he sat down in a quiet corner of the common room. He thought some more about his brother, and the bits he hadn't told Lena … how they were bitten on the same night, and gone through all those early full moons together … been inseparable … and the ring, which hadn't choked his brother, but poisoned him … the silver ring, that no one, not even Remus himself, had seen him swallow, and so no one knew why the life was slowly draining from his five-year-old body …
He almost felt like crying himself. But instead he stood up to go to bed early. As he stepped on the stone staircase, the portrait hole swung open.
"Remus!" Lily called. He turned around reluctantly. "Sorry I wasn't back earlier, I had to do a runes essay, but someone else had the book I needed," she said breathlessly, and the look in her eyes gave Remus a fair idea as to who it was. "How is she?"
"Sirius is with her," he replied. "She was crying when I left."
"Thanks," Lily said, surveying him with her green eyes. "It wasn't easy for you, was it?" Lily asked. Remus shrugged. She gave him a quick hug, and he grinned.
"That's the first time anyone's hugged me after I made their best friend cry," he said.
"It'll help," Lily said, "I know it will." She smiled and headed up to her dorm.
*****
It did help Lena, though she still felt slightly guilty. Sometimes, when she was alone with Sirius, she thought that things might just be ok, because he was there. But then a part of her brain would complain, protest that it couldn't be ok.
But that voice was getting smaller, she did feel a lot better since her chat with Remus. And she could be alone again; she didn't need someone with her constantly. And she was talking more.
But she still wasn't back completely. She knew that she'd never could be exactly like she used to be, but he did think she could get just a little closer to her old self. She hovered in and out, sometimes feeling fine, other times feeling like the walls were about to close in.
On one night when she was feeling particularly depressed, she was sitting on her bed, staring into space when she should have been writing a Transfiguration essay. Seventh years were being assigned alarming amounts of homework as November wore on, and Lena was still behind since she'd gone to London …
Lily was in the library, looking up something for an Arithmancy essay Lena should have started already. Lena hadn't noticed her absence much. Lily had left one of her records playing, but Lena wasn't listening. She was absorbed in a memory that had just leaped to the surface, of her dad reading her a Muggle fairy story, which Lena could legitimise fully. The wicked Queen just brewed a poisonous potion, not the kind that Mummy made, the four-year-old said. And she used Polyjuice to turn into an old woman …
She snapped back to the present, suddenly realizing that the music was still playing … she pushed her parchment away and went to turn it off … As she did, a song started, and though she'd probably heard Lily play it a thousand times before, this was the first time she had listened to it …
'There are places I'll remember,
All my life,
Though some have changed,
Some forever not for better,
Some have gone
And some remain
All these places have their moments,
With lovers and friends I still can recall,
Some are dead and some are living
In my life,
I've loved them all'Lena sat on her bed, drinking in every word. So this was what Lily meant when she said that the Beatles could read minds. The song described exactly what she was going through, and even explained it …
'But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you
And these memories loose their meaning
When I think of love
As something new
Though I know I'll never loose affection
For people and things
That went before,
In my life,
I love you more …Lena realized that they were right. They had said the same thing as Remus, but they convinced her that it was ok to love other people. It was ok to move on, to love Sirius more … She smiled, still shocked at the effect that the song had on her.
Sirius entered and hurried over to her.
"Lee, are you ok?" he asked worriedly. She smiled, taking him completely by surprise.
"I'm ok," she said, throwing her arms around him. "I'm ok, just like that!" She gave a surprised sort of laugh and kissed him.
"What—" Sirius asked, looking at her as if she were mad. "Lee, you need to sit down."
"I am sitting down," she said. "Listen." She put the song on again. Sirius stared at her, still not understanding. "Really listen," she said. "Don't you get it?"
It was quite clear from the look on Sirius' face that he didn't.
"It doesn't matter that I'm happy with you," she went on. "Because I'll always love them. But … 'in my life, I love you more' …" Sirius' jaw dropped. Lena's eyes widened. "No – I didn't mean—"
"Didn't you?" Sirius whispered.
"Yeah – but I didn't mean to say it,"£ she said.
"I mean it," he said softly. His voice was hoarse, he couldn't believe that he was admitting this ...a voice in his head told him to shut up, yet he swallowed and whispered: "I love you, Lee."
"Don't call me Lee," she said, smiling.
"That's your response to my declaration of love?" he said.
"You known I love you," she said. He nodded. She kissed him.
"Lily was right, then," Sirius said.
"Lily's always right," Lena replied. "The answer was right there on that little piece of plastic … well, it was actually a culmination of many things …"
"So you're going to be ok?" he checked.
"As long as I've got you," she replied.
"Then you'll be fine, 'cos I'm not going anywhere," he promised.
"I know," she said. "You've been amazing – you and Lily and Ally and Kim and James and Peter and – Remus. How is he?"
"He's ok," Sirius assured her.
"He's amazing," Lena said. "He really helped. It was hard for him, I could tell."
"Should I be getting a teensy bit worried?" Sirius joked.
"No, you'll always be the only man for me," she said, kissing him.
"And you're the only girl for me," he replied, returning the favour. As Lena thought how brilliant it was to be with Sirius like this again, to be talking to him and kissing him, the song finished and the next one started. She heard the Beatles sing ...
'It's been a long time, no I'm Coming back home …'And she knew that she was officially a Beatles fan now, she had caught Beatlemania.
There would be no looking back
*****
Lily came back from meeting James that night to see Lena and Sirius talking and laughing very cozily on her bed.
"I have to do my homework," she was half-protesting, as Sirius wrapped his arms around her.
"I'm sure that McGonagall would understand," he said.
"Yes, sure she would," Lena said. "Sorry, Professor, I couldn't do my homework as Sirius fancied a snog."
Lily was taken aback. Like Sirius, she didn't understand at first why Lena hugged her happily and grinned broadly. Unlike Sirius, however, she understood completely what Lena had heard in the song.
And she didn't waste any time in further initiating her best friend into the Evans Family Beatles Fan Club. She had been trying to get Lena to listen for six years, and finally, she had been bitten by the Beatle bug.
That was two converts in a month, because James was a fan, too. Sirius would be soon, Lena was seeing to that. And then there would be four people to teach Ally, Kim, Remus and Peter. She was proud to be educating the wizarding world about the Beatles; she almost felt a sense of duty … so she sometimes took her record player with her when meeting James in the room off the Astronomy Tower. They could sit there for hours, doing homework together (at Lily's behest) talking about nothing, and doing other things …
"Why didn't we do this sooner?" she wondered aloud one night.
"We were idiots," he replied. They still hadn't told anyone, not that they cared what people would say anymore. They just liked to have their own secret, just the two of them …
Lena and Sirius were all anyone cared about anymore, anyway. The school was still in awe of them: half waiting for it to blow up any second (as it had already lasted about four times longer than any other relationship Sirius had been in), the other half still wondering what had really happened the night that Lena's parents died (most believing Sophie and Adele's original version of events, though the girls had told everyone it wasn't true). But Lena and Sirius seemed unperturbed by all the attention.
"Water off a duck's back," was all Lena said when Lily asked her about it.
"Are you still there?" James was asking. Lily snapped back.
"Yeah," she said. "Sorry." James grinned.
"Orion just brought this," he said, holding up a pillowcase similar to the one that Lily had been sending him. Lily squealed.
"It's from my dad," she explained, "we exchange records like this all the time." She pulled out the record. "It's the new Wings single," she said excitedly.
"That's Paul and Linda, isn't it?" James asked.
"Yeah," Lily said.
"What's it called?" James wanted to know.
"Mull of Kintyre," she said. "It's where his farm is, in Scotland."
"Anywhere near Hogwarts?" James wondered. Lily smiled.
"Well, Hogwarts is Unplottable, so I don't know," she said. "It could be."
"Yeah, just think, we could have a really interesting next-door-neighbor," James said.
"Our next-door-neighbor is Hagrid," Lily reminded James.
"Oh, he's interesting enough, anyway," James said, laughing and looking out the window at the caretakers' cabin. "I haven't been to see him in a while," he mused.
"Do you normally visit him often?" Lily setting down the record and picking up her Herbology homework again.
"Yeah, but we haven't since he got that bloody fire crab," James said.
"When was this?" Lily wondered.
"Last May," James replied. "He didn't have a license, though, so he had to give it up. We're kind of afraid of what he'll have next time we go down."
"He's not that bad, surely?" Lily said reasonably.
"I'm surprised that his hut didn't catch fire," James said. "Although the fire crab wasn't as bad as Albert." Lily gave him a curious look. "His Tebo. That was ill, missed the jungle, I presume, so he had to get rid of it. He used to have a Quintaped, the only one to ever leave the Isle of Drear, but it ran back again. Then there was Oliver, his Occamy … the list is endless." Lily was scribbling the last line of her homework with a smile on her face. She rolled up her parchment and pulled her wand out, her face screwed up.
"You ok?" James asked.
"I've never been able to Transfigure something simple, like a book, into something complicated, like …" she started.
"A record player?" James guessed. Lily nodded. "What you do is …," he said, launching into an explanation. After about half an hour, Lily had mastered it.
"Wow," she said. "Thanks. You're amazing." James blushed, a thing he only ever did in front of Lily.
"Not really," he mumbled.
"You're the best I've seen at Transfiguration," she said. "You know, I'd say you'd be able to become an Animagus, if you wanted to," she went on.
"Well, you're ten times better than anyone I know at charms," James said quickly, hiding his smile. "Including Professor Deschanel."
"Come off it," she said, placing the record on the record player.
"I'm serious," he said. "You've never needed more than one try top master a charm. You're silencing charm on Sophie lasted way longer than the one I did on Adele." She hadn't started the record yet. "I've seen you being bored to death in charms, just like Lena is in Potions."
"And you in Transfiguration," she went on. "And Remus in Defence, and Sirius in Care of Magical Creatures, and Ally in Arithmancy. And Frank in Herbology, and Kim in History of Magic. We all have a subject that we're good at, so drop it." She started the record, and her brow furrowed. She checked the sleeve, apparently surprised at the song. She rummaged in the pillowcase and extracted a letter from her dad.
Lily,
I'm not sure … it's selling really well, it's been number one for two weeks … but, well, I think its rubbish. How about you?
Love,
Dad.
"I agree," Lily muttered, shaking her head. She looked at James, who was having trouble holding back his laughter. She laughed first.
"Proof that even the greatest men are not immune from stupidity," he said, holding up the sleeve. Lily giggled harder, shaking her head again. She sighed.
"Well, best get back to the tower," she said. "To the real world." James grinned.
"We'll have to have an argument again soon," he said.
"Oh, yeah!" Lily exclaimed. "How about before Potions?"
"No, let's leave it 'till Defence, make a big scene," James suggested.
"Ok," Lily said, kissing him on the nose. "Lena's helping me with Potions tomorrow night, so we're going to the library," she told him.
"Come here, then, if it's going to be ages 'till we get together again," he said, pulling her closer. "Quidditch practice is going to be nightly next week, because of the game."
"Oh, yeah," Lily said. "Are you nervous?"
"To tell you the truth, we're excited. We can't wait to see if we're as good as we think we are," he said. "And it sounds like we're arrogant, but up there, it feels so good, we feel we're playing well." He grinned. "Well, we'll see what Ravenclaw think next Saturday, eh?"
"Yeah," Lily said. "You'll do fine," she said, attempting to flatten his hair. He smiled. "What?" she asked.
"Here, running your hand through my hair," he said, quoting the Beatle's song, Here, There and Everywhere. Lily smiled.
"Each one believing that love never dies, watching your eyes, and hoping you're always there," she continued. She wouldn't have minded staying there forever …
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Aww … aren't they adorable!! I don't like Mull of Kintyre much, about the only McCartney song I don't like.
Anyway, next chapter: the Quidditch match, and Lily and James get found out!
If you'd like me to email you when I update, you know the drill!!