DISCLAIMER: You know the drill … Oh, the chapter title came from the back of one of my West Wing videos. I don't own the Beatles or Monty Python either.

Chapter 23: State-of the-Unions and States of Disunion

Back at Hogwarts the next day, Gryffindor Tower was extremely quiet, as only a couple of first years and the seventh years (minus Adele and Sophie) had remained for the holidays.

"Lovely and peaceful, isn't it?" Lena remarked, curled up in a large armchair with Sirius.

"Perfect," Sirius replied, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger. She lifted her head up for a kiss, and Remus looked away, only to be confronted by the sight of James hanging mistletoe over Lily's favorite seat. He rolled his eyes.

"Sickening, isn't it?" Kim whispered, sitting down beside him. He nodded.

"I never thought that they'd get this soppy," he said.

"They're happy, though," Kim said.

"Yeah," he said. The truth was, Remus was a bit jealous of what his two best friends had. Before, when they weren't serious with their girlfriends, it hadn't mattered to him. He did flirt a bit, but he could never bring himself to get involved with anyone. He would be hiding too big a secret from them. And he felt that he'd never be able to achieve the closeness Sirius had with Lena, or James with Lily. To get there, he would have to tell whoever she was, and he knew how most people reacted ...

"… so, are you looking forward to Christmas?" Kim was asking. He nodded. All of a sudden he remembered that she had asked him to help her study before, not in the Room of Requirement, where any book they needed would appear, but in the library. It was possible that she had wanted to meet him alone … but he didn't want to dwell on it.

"Yeah," he said. "The break will be nice." Kim snorted.

"What break?" she asked. "Have you noticed the amount of homework we have?"

"Well, yeah," Remus admitted, "it is a lot. But I plan to spent two straight days doing it, and then spend the rest of the holidays doing absolutely nothing."

"Good plan," Kim said, pulling some of his parchment nearer to her. "How far have you got?"

"I have my Defense, Charms, and potions out of the way," he sad. "And I've made a start on my Transfiguration."

"Not bad," Kim remarked. "You're very organized." Remus smiled.

"I'm a control freak," he admitted.

"I wouldn't say 'freak'," Kim said. "More of a nut."

"Thank you," Remus said, as Kim attempted to hold a straight face. The first years that had remained were sitting, rather uneasily, in the corner. Kim's eyes fell on them and she smiled.

"Were we ever that small?" she wondered.

"Probably," he said, noticing that they seemed to be fascinated with the pattern on the carpet. "Hey, you two," he called to Sirius and Lena, "give it a rest, would you? You're not the only two in the Tower." Sirius whispered something into Lena's ear. She giggled, and jumped up. They headed quickly up the boy's staircase. The first years looked up again, apparently relieved. Remus and Kim walked over to them.

"Sorry about those two," Kim said.

"They're so used to just being with us, they forget," Remus added.

"That do that in front of you?" one boy asked, his eyes wide. Remus nodded.

"Ew!" they exclaimed together.

"Why would anyone want to do that?" a curly-haired boy wondered.

"They really like each other," Kim said.

"Have you ever wanted to do that?" the only girl present asked. Remus and Kim appeared startled. Remus felt like hitting her, as he had spent the last few days convincing himself that he didn't want it. And there was also an ambiguity to the question, but he didn't know if he was questioning the context of her query because she was a girl and could somehow sense the vibes he was trying desperately to conceal … he didn't know if she meant to ask whether they wanted to kiss different people, or each other. For a split second, he entertained the image of being curled up with Kim beside the fire, playing with her hair … then the image of what he suspected her face would be like when he eventually had to tell her that he was a monster …

She was looking at him with an expression that scared him witless … a smile was playing at the corner of her mouth and she had a calculating look in her eyes. He had seen that expression before, on the faces of Lena and Lily, when they looked at Sirius or James. It was almost always followed by displays to rival that evening's act by Lena and Sirius…

"Oi, are you two coming to dinner?" Peter called. Remus stood up quickly.

"Saved by the bell, eh?" the first year girl asked. Remus stuck his tongue out at her. "Mature," the eleven-year-old replied.

*****

 "Hi," Kim said, flopping onto the couch beside her best friend.

"What's got you grinning so wide?" Ally asked.

"Nothing," Kim replied.

"Looking forward to Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"You'll have lots of time to flirt with Remus," Ally mused.

"I know," Kim said, smiling. "We were talking earlier with the first years …," she went on excitedly, recounting the conversation.

"What did he say?" Ally wanted to know.

"Well, he did look as if he was considering it," Kim said. "At least, I think he was. But she meant with other people, and he jumped to conclusions. That can't be a bad sign, can it?" Ally smiled.

"Probably not," he said. "So what do you do now?" Kim watched as Remus took out his chess pieces and prepared to play with Sirius. She winked at her friend and went over to sit beside him.

"Hello," Sirius said. "Come to watch me beat Remus?"

"No, I'm not delusional," she replied.

"Ouch," Sirius said. "Lena!" he called.

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up from her Potions homework.

"I need some support," he said.

"Bugger off," she replied.

"But that's your job," Sirius told her, "to support me and all that."

"I'm not dropping everything to sit beside you while Remus wins," she replied.

"I'm going to win!" Sirius exclaimed. "Now get over here and cheer me on! Come on, it's only fair, Kim's here to gaze longingly at him, I've got no one."

"I'm not gazing longingly at anyone," Lena replied, smiling.

"Nor am I," Kim added.

"Why not?" Sirius asked his girlfriend.

"I got over that," she said, walking over to him.

"Then why are you coming over?" Sirius challenged, grinning.

"I've finished my homework now," she explained.

"Then what was the fight for?" Remus wondered. Lena shrugged.

"The principle of the thing," she said, sitting beside Sirius. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Can we start?" he asked, hiding his jealousy very well, he felt.

"Now Remus, don't be bitter," Sirius said. (Perhaps he hadn't hidden it as well as he had thought.)

"He's not bitter," Kim corrected. "Just eager to get on with creeling you." she winked at Remus, who smiled distractedly and moved a pawn.

Sirius ended up victorious, as Remus was far too distracted by Kim's presence. Lena squealed and made to congratulate him as if he had caught the Snitch at a World Cup Final, but Kim cleared her throat. Lena's hand froze midway to somewhere (Remus didn't want to know where), and instead grabbed his hand and lead him up to her room.

"We'll have them housetrained soon enough," Remus muttered.

"Hard luck," Kim commiserated. "You'll beat him next time." Remus smiled, uncomfortably aware that there was a complete lack of people in the common room … Lily and James had sloped off to their usual place (wherever that was) … Ally was gone to the library, and Peter was in bed. Kim was now holding a record player that until now had been his Transfiguration book. She rummaged in Lily's bag and extracted a record.

"Don't tell Lily that it's rubbed off," she whispered, "it'll go to her head if she thinks she's conquered the whole school." Remus managed a smile as the opening lines of Come Together played.

"You never answered the question before," Kim reminded him.

"What?" he asked, as he had been plucking an imaginary guitar and hadn't really heard what she said.

"The question that first year asked earlier," Kim repeated, grinning. "If you ever fancied having what Sirius and Lena have."

"With anyone?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," Kim said quickly. He shrugged.

"It would be nice, I suppose," he said. "But I reckon  … oh, never mind."

"No, go on," she urged.

"It's rare, though, isn't it?" he said. "I mean, not everyone can have that kind of connection."

"Lily and James have it, too," Kim reminded him.

"They're lucky, I suppose," he said.

"I think you're wrong," she said.

"Really?" Remus was not enjoying this conversation one bit.

"I reckon anyone can have what they have," she went on. "All they have to do is find the right person."

"I don't know," Remus said.

"Why? Do you not think that everyone can fall in love?" Kim pressed.

"Listen, I really don't know," Remus said.

"You don't think—"

"Not everyone is – sometimes there are – things that make – can we just drop it, please?" he finished, the closest to being angry that he could even remember. Then he deflated and realized what a complete bastard he'd been. But she'd kept pushing it, and he hadn't asked her to come over here and talk about all that mushy stuff … he stood up and hurried to his dorm, where he took out his guitar and played whatever his fingers felt like playing … back in the common room, Ally had returned and was attempting to console Kim, who was feigning stoicism, but looking confused and a little bit hurt.

"It doesn't really matter," she said. "It was only a bit of fun."

"He had no right to blow up at you like that," Ally said. "I thought he was decent."

"No, its my fault, jumping into the deep end talking about love and fate and all," Kim said, forcing back her tears. "Oh, Ally, I'm such and idiot!" she sobbed, finally giving in.

"He's the idiot," Ally said, enveloping her friend in a hug.

"What's wrong?" Lily's concerned voice called from the portrait hole, as she hurried over to her friends. Ally told her the story.

"Remus Lupin?" she said. "Shy, polite, thoughtful prefect Remus Lupin? How can he do this to her?" She turned to James. "Did you know he was this cruel?"

"He's not cruel," James said. "Let's get that perfectly clear. He is all those things you mentioned, he's the best friend you could ever ask for."

"So is Kim," Lily replied in a voice she hadn't used since they'd started going out.

"Don't come down hard on him," James warned.

"Why shouldn't I?" Lily challenged.

"Listen, he'd never intentionally hurt a fly, "James said. "But … there are things he's been through – things that make it hard for him to open up – things you can't even begin to comprehend." James gave up and headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked.

"To see if my friend is ok," he said, and he headed up to the room. Remus was sitting on his bed with his guitar, strumming Yesterday distractedly.

"She's crying, isn't she?" he said in a hollow voice.

"It's not like you did something really terrible," James said. "I've done way worse. There's no way you'll ever be a big a rat as I used to be."
"It was enough to make her cry," Remus said.

"Don't beat yourself up," James said. "You were just a bit of a git, that's all. It's not a hanging offense."

*****

"Lee?" Sirius asked. They were sitting on her bed, listening to one of Lily's albums (Please Please Me)

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok with the way things are moving?" he wondered. She turned her head to look at him.

"That's a strange question," Lena remarked. "More like something I'd ask."

"Sorry, I was just wondering," he said.

"There's nothing wrong with it," she assured him. "If you want to have a State-of-the-Union, that's fine with me."

"A what?"

"Oh, that's what me and the girls call it," Lena said. "The Muggle American President is required every year to give Congress information on the State of the Union. So when we are talking about boyfriends, and how things are going, we call it the State-of-the-Union conversation."

"Oh – yeah, I suppose that's what I mean," Sirius said. "Without the talking to the girls bit, though that's too much to ask, isn't it?" Lena nodded, and he smiled. "We're not going too fast or anything, are we?" he blurted. Lena looked puzzled.

"We haven't done anything serious yet, though," she said.

"We do more than we used to," Sirius said. "And I was just wondering if you were ok with it."

"I've learned my lesson, Siri," she said. "I'd say if I wasn't ok with anything. Besides, with you it just seems like natural progression."

"Are you sure?" he checked. Lena smiled.

"Yes," she went on. "I'm positive. I quite enjoy some of the new stuff."

"Really?" he asked, grinning.

"I do," she said. "You know, you're amazing," she went on. "Every time I think I've seen the extent of you're sweet, caring side, you do something like this and I just want to cover you in sprinkles and eat you all up."

"We haven't done that yet," he said, and Lena laughed. "Sorry for bringing it up," he went on.

"No, it's probably good that we did have this talk. It helps, you know, I know that what happened last time won't happen again. We're not leaving it 'till five minutes beforehand, either."

"That would not be a good time to have this," he agreed.

"Yeah, this way we'll have discussed all the things that you are meant to discuss and there will be less awkwardness."

"I have it sorted," Sirius said.

"Ok," Lena said. "All we need are the sprinkles, so, and we're all set." He grinned and kissed her forehead.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," he added, knowing that he must be looking at her in an incredibly soppy way. But he found that he didn't care much.

"Lets go downstairs," Lena suggested.

"Ok, one more thing," he said, and grabbed her for a kiss. "Because Remus won't let us down there," he explained afterwards. "I don't know why, it never seemed to bother him before."

"Yeah, there's definitely something up with him," she said, and upon her arrival in the common room, her suspicions were confirmed. Lily told them the story, paying particular attention to James' defence of Remus. Kim, who had almost stopped crying, sniffled.

"Lily, I told you, I don't want you to start a row with James over this," she said. "I'll be fine." Lena felt torn between Lily, who was urging her to take Kim's side, and joining James in sticking up for Remus.

"I'm not going to take sides," she announced. Lily rolled her eyes.

"How can you not be angry with someone who does this to your best friend?" she asked. Lena sighed.

"He's my friend, too, and I'm sticking to my decision," she said firmly.

*****

"Welcome!" Mrs. Black said, as another gaggle of guests arrived into the hall of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. "So lovely to see you! Kreacher, take their coats. Won't you come up to the drawing room?" it was exhausting, being a hostess, but she felt herself swell with pride as she noted the array of witches and wizards mingling in her house ... the Malfoys, the Notts, representatives of the Lestrange and Avery family … and of course, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, well, most of it. Her brother-in-law Regulus, after whom her son had been named, and his twin daughters, Bellatrix and Narcissa, who were currently in their seventh year of school, after which it looked as if they would be marrying into the Lestrange and Malfoy families respectively … She headed over to her nieces.

"Merry Christmas," Bellatrix greeted.

"Thank you for inviting us," Narcissa added.

"How are things?" Mrs. Black asked, with a significant glance at Lucius and Rodulphus, who were standing in a corner.

"Excellent," Narcissa replied.

"Wonderful," Mrs. Black said, taking a goblet of wine from Kreacher who was passing. "You couldn't do better." She absent-mindedly traced the crest on the side of the goblet. "I did worry that you'd take example from your sister."

"No," Bellatrix said shortly. "We're nothing like her."

"I can tell," her aunt said. "Every litter has its runts. I now know that siblings are seldom like their elders. Regulus never fails to make me proud."

"Yes, I'm sorry about Sirius," Bellatrix added, suppressing a smile.

"What on earth do you mean?"

"His girlfriend," Narcissa added.

"What about it? He's had lots, it's never serious," Mrs. Black said.

"This one is," Bellatrix said with relish. "Ask Rodulphus. It's been going on for ages; they're hardly ever apart. Oh, and they're rumored to be extremely close ... too close, almost."

"I don't take any interest in his sordid affairs," Mrs. Black said, taking another sip.

"She's a half-blood," Lucius said, coming up behind the girls. Mrs. Black choked on her wine, while Bellatrix and Narcissa exchanged amused looks. "Her mother worked for you a bit – Helen white. You transferred her to some useless department, and then she was murdered," Lucius went on. Mrs. Black's lips were pressed together in a straight line. "We thought you deserved to know," he added.

"Thank you," she said. "Excuse me." She turned around and sought out her husband to tell him the story.

The rest of the party passed quickly, and it wasn't until all the guests had left that Mrs. Black sat down with another goblet of wine, staring at the crest as Kreacher began to tidy up.

"Well?" she asked as soon as her husband entered the room. "What are we going to do about this?"

"I thought we weren't going to bother with him anymore?" he said. "Why the sudden interest? You weren't this worried about Andromeda."

"Andromeda gave up the name Black when she married that thing," Mrs. Black said. "She will take the name. For four centuries, this family has displayed impeccable breeding. I'm not letting that little mongrel ruin the honour that the name Black has built up."

"How do we know it will come to that?" Josef asked. Mrs. Black tapped the liquid in the goblet and handed it to her husband. On the surface of the liquid, two figures appeared, lying on a couch whispering. Music was playing in the background, and one of the figures, a girl, was singing along softly …

" …and Rocky said: doc, it's only a scratch

and I'll be better, Doc, as soon as I am able … sounds like you, Siri," she said, smiling. "Not going for help when you're injured. You're worse than the Black Night in the Holy Grail. 'Its only a scratch' and all that."

"Yes, Lee, the Beatles wrote Rocky Raccoon especially for me, and put it on an album that was released – when?" he asked.

"1968," she told him.

"When I was eight," he continued, "about something that happened when I was seventeen. How logical."

"Something stupid you did," Lena corrected. "That could've been dangerous."

"I'll never do it again," he promised.

"Good," Lena said. "Though you'll come running to me for treatment every time you get a paper cut." He smiled.

"Yeah, quick, give me more long sharp branches to impale myself with," he said. The song had finished and the next one started. "Sing this one," he said.

"When at last I find you,

You're song will fill the air,

Sing it loud so I can hear you

The things you do endear you to me …

I will …"

"Lovely," he said.

"Even though it's a Beatles song?" she checked.

"They're not all bad, I suppose," he said. "Especially the one that was on before. Why don't we do it in the road?" he sang.

"See?" Mrs. Black said, waving her wand and clearing the image.

"Fine, we'll do something," her husband said. "But what?"
"I have an idea …"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Hello, took a while for this, sorry. I was down where I'll be going to college house hunting! I got into the campus accommodation. It's off-site, but there's just a short walk. I'm looking forward to it sooo much!! I start in one month!!!

Oh, by the way, the Black Night is from the Holy Grail movie: he gets both his arms and legs chopped off by King Arthur, and insists 'It's only a scratch!! Come back and fight like a man! I'll bite your legs off!!' Hilarious!!

Thanks to the reviewers who congratulated me!! Mwah!! Love you all!!

WaNdA: No, I don't play anything. I'm slightly tone deaf, much to my disappointment. No rhythm whatsoever. My dad is really musical, but my sisters inherited all his talent.

linaeviel: I just liked the name Orion, nothing more to it …

kevin luver: I'm going college at a city about an hour away from where I live. I can't wait!!

Smudged: awwww … thanky!!

aniangel: I agree with everything you said in your email!! I adore the White Album too!! I love Martha My Dear!! The piano bit is so cool … I wish I could play piano … oh well, thank you!!

allie: My cousins name is Allie … she's one year old and officially the cutest thing in the world ever. Very musical, too. I've taught her to sing Hey Jude. (Arggghhh!! I'm turning into Lily!!) Don't know where that came from, sorry!!

lillee92: I could never ever stop writing, even if I tried!!