Bubba Go Home!
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Sharan tell Bubba where Bubba can go. Don't tempt Sharan.
"Why has Bubba been moping around in his cave lately?" Mr. McDuck asked Huey, Dewey and Louie one fine afternoon.
"Ah, it's the silliest thing! You remember Julie, that dopey girl who used to live next door- the one Bubba was mushing out on? Well, she got a new boyfriend now and Bubba's out of the picture! He's been dragging his club ever since!" Huey said.
"Hmm- I better talk to Bubba. Maybe I can cheer him up. I had girl trouble in my day." Mr. Mc Duck said.
"Bubba, I hear you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?" Mr. McDuck asked Bubba, in his cave on the mansion's grounds.
"Bubba dumb. When Julie no longer lives next door, Bubba forget about Julie. Not bother talk to Julie at school. Too busy playing sports." Bubba began.
" Julie get mad and start playing with other boy. Now she his girl. Bubba try to fight him. Him wrestle champ. Lick Bubba good. Worse, him NICE. Not hurt Bubba when he could. Not make Bubba look dumb when he could. How Bubba stay mad at him? Bubba mad anyway." Bubba said.
"Smarter people than you have made that same mistake, Bubba. Taking someone for granted is all too easy to do. Bubba, what do you say you and me play football in the park- just the two of us? Would that make you feel better? " Mr. McDuck offered.
"Tootsie come too?' Bubba asked.
"Yes, Bubba, Tootsie can come, too." Mr. McDuck said.
Meanwhile, do you remember the Lost World from the Ducktales episode "Dinosaur Ducks"? Other pilots have taken over flying for the dinosaurfaris there. A tourist managed to get away from the group long enough to steal a souvenir. A dinosaur egg. To be precise, a triceratops egg.
When momma Triceratops found her egg gone, she followed "people" tracks to the edge of the desert that surrounds the Lost World. No dinosaur had ever tried to cross said desert. What for? Nothing but sand, sand and more sand. Not enough food, not enough water. But Launchpad managed to cross it, and as determined as he is, worried moms can be worse.(1) She followed her instincts across the desert to Duckberg.
You can imagine the panic the arrival of a full-grown Triceratops caused in Downtown Duckberg! Even people who know a Triceratops is a vegetarian panicked due to her sheer size- a full-grown Tri is HUGE!
Momma Tri's instincts told her egg was here, someplace. But there were so many "people" and so many animals. (She thought the cars and trucks were animals) and so much noise. She was frightened and confused and worried about her egg. Peaceful as she was, she might have attacked people in frustration, if she did not spot Duckberg Park.
Seeing the trees and lakes reminded her how hungry and thirty she was. She forgot her egg and her anger long enough to get something to eat and drink.
Naturally, she soon happened upon Mr. McDuck, Bubba and Toostie. She might have hurt them (NEVER get between an wild animal and its food) if it wasn't for Tootsie. She ran up towards Momma Tri and stared at it. No way Momma Tri was going to hurt a baby Tri. Even if it wasn't her baby.
Just then, Launchpad came along in his copter. He was tracking the Momma Tri so she could be captured and brought back to the Lost World before she hurt somebody or she could be hurt. Spotting Mr. McDuck, Bubba and Tootsie below, he dropped down a rope ladder.
Tootsie could not climb it, of course, and when Bubba try to pick her up, she nipped at him! She wanted to stay with the other Tri. She was only a baby and she missed her real mom. This was so close to her real mom- she wanted to stay.
"She won't hurt Tootsie, Bubba. She's a Tri, too." Mr. McDuck said.
"Bubba come back for Tootsie later." Bubba said.
And Bubba climbed the rope ladder up to Launchpad's copter.
Meanwhile, back in the Lost World- a young, but full-grown Tyrannosaurus Rex found Mamma Tri tracks leading out over the desert. He had no yet claimed a hunting ground.
Other predictors were crowding him out. He had seen strange birds (helicopters) flying from the desert. Now he found Tri tracks leading over the desert. He decided to follow the tracks, hoping to find a new hunting ground to claim. So over the desert to Duckberg he went!
Now, if a full-grown Tri-, which is after all a vegetarian-, caused panic in downtown Duckberg, the arrival of a full-grown Tyrantaursus Rex caused total chaos.
Luckily, the Rex had found an illegal garbage dump on the edge of town and had stuffed himself silly.(2) He wasn't the slightest bit hungry, in fact he was so gorged he might have gone to sleep if people had not panicked. Not that I blame them. As it was, all the screaming and sirens and screeching brakes kept him awake when he wanted a nap and made him rather irritable.
A fire truck came along and forced the Rex back by turning the hose full-blast on him. They kept the ladder extended and they kept it between him and them (just because you're brave doesn't mean you're stupid) so the stupid Rex kept attacking the ladder, thinking it the head of another animal.
Far above in his copter, Launchpad and the rest of the gang saw all this.
"Great! Another Bigfoot! Who invited him? What a tyrant! I'll drop you off at the mansion, Mr. McDee. You better stay there while I go back and see if I can help" Launchpad said.
Launchpad did drop them off, then flew to where the construction crane- the one disguised to look like a sea monster from "Merit-time adventure" had ended up. Mr. McDuck sold it to a smart cookie who re-disguised it, put it on wheels, and rented it out to movies, TV show, monster truck rallies, that sort of thing.
Launchpad rented it and drove it to where the Rex, Tyrant, was. He used the crane to attack the thing and got it to follow him. He immediately started driving out of Duckberg, back toward the Lost World.
Now, you did not think for one minute that Mr. McDuck and Bubba were going to stay at the Mansion and take up knitting or something, now did you? Of course not. Mr. McDuck went to one of his smaller safes and found a small vial of the growth water- all that was left after the "Attack of the 50 Ft. Webby" fiasco. He grabbed the vial and he and Bubba hotfooted it back to the Momma Tri.
Bubba tracked her down in nothing flat. Mr. McDuck snuck up on Tootsie and splashed one small drop of the growth water on her. In a minute, Tootsie was the size of a full-grown Tri!
"Now she stands a chance against that Rex. The two of them, together, should be able to fight him if they have to." Mr. McDuck began.
"But she'll have to go back to the Lost World. She was going to get too big to stay in Duckberg sooner or later, Bubba." Mr. McDuck said.
"Then Bubba stay with Tootsie. Bubba will miss Scrooge. But Bubba miss Tootsie and home more. Duckberg no Bubba's home. " Bubba said.
"I'll see to it you find a new home in the Lost World, then, Bubba. And I'll visit you when I can. I promise." Mr. McDuck said.
While this mushy scene was going on, Launchpad- you remember Launchpad? I'd think it would kind of hard to forget someone willing to take on a full-grown Rex in a costumed construction crane.
He was racing full-speed in the crane with the Rex at his rear bumper. He was heading out of town towards the Lost world, trying to keep Tyrant from having half of Duckberg for dinner.
Launchpad was worried. Tyrant was starting to lose interest in chasing him. Sooner or later, Tyrant would get bored, give up and try to make Duckburgers out of some Duckbergians.
Three guesses where Launchpad ends up? If you guessed: right near Mr. McDuck, Bubba, Tootsie and Momma Tri you MAY have read as many comic books as I have.
Launchpad took that route on purpose because it led thru the park on the edge of town and was little used. He figured he be less likely to encounter other people that way. But the road led right past the rest of the gang. And the Rex saw the two Tris.
And all that running had mad the Rex hungry. Rex attacked the two Tris, thinking he catch the slowest. But they had no place to run. And even a mouse will fight back if you back him into a corner. The two Tris fought Rex together. Launchpad used the crane to join the fight.
No way were Mr. McDuck and Bubba going to let Launchpad have all the fun. Bubba climbed up onto Tootsie, which was a good deal harder than it used to be.
"Ooo. Tootsie gain weight." Bubba joked.
Bubba clobbered Tyrant with his club.
"Bubba clubba!' he waxed eloquely.
Mr. McDuck, being just a tad older, had to act with a bit more caution. He climbed an oak tree and pelted the Rex with acorns, first from one angle, then another.
Tyrant thought unseen enemies were attacking him from all over! Not having hands, the idea of throwing things was unknown to him. He could not see Mr. McDuck, he was looking at the ground, not in trees. He tried to smell out his enemy, but Mr. McDuck had been playing football with Bubba and Tootsie. Mr. McDuck had been wallowing in mud. All the dinosaur could smell was mud and grass.
To everybody surprise, Tyrant started eating the acorns.
"I thought they only ate meat? Wait a minute, do they have nuts in the Lost World? Maybe he thinks they are eggs- they have a shell and "meat" inside." Launchpad thought.
Launchpad ran and got a wagon and hitched it to the crane's 'tail', then he shook all the oak trees except the one Mr. McDuck was in and acorns fell out.
Launchpad gathered them up and dumped them into the wagon. Mr. McDuck saw what Launchpad was up to and he told Bubba to help keep Tyrant busy until Launchpad was done and they did.
Then Mr. McDuck yelled:" Go! I'll get Tyrant to follow you!"
Mr. McDuck lobbed acorns right in front of Tyrant's nose, which gobbled them up. Tyrant followed the acorns till he was right behide the crane as Launchpad sped away. Acorns fell out of the wagon, right in front of the Rex. Tyrant gobbled them up to and followed behide.
Launchpad just kept on going till he reached the Lost World. Mr. McDuck, Momma Tri and Tootsie were right behide.
Luckily, they entered the Lost World in an area that lacked a proper predictor. Grass-eaters were already starting to go hungry because there were too many grass-eaters and no proper predictor to cull out the sick, weak, and old. Hunger was a much more painful death than a predictor. But Tyrant would take care of that problem.
Tyrant the T-rex saw all the grass-eater and no other predictor, forgot about the acorns and got to work. The Ducktales Ducks scramed.
After some searching, Mr. McDuck found a tribe of cave ducks with too many females and not enough males. They were glad to adopt Bubba. Toostie and Momma Tri stayed close. Mr. McDuck promised Bubba he would visit whenever he could.
In fact, he came back the next day. The "person" who stole the dinosaur egg realized that must be why Duckberg was invaded by dinosaurs in the first place and left the egg on Mr. McDuck's doorstep with an apology note.
So Mr. McDuck returned to the Lost World to give Momma Tri her egg back and check on Bubba. Mr. McDuck was a little hurt when he revealed that Bubba was happier in the Lost World with his new family, but Mr. McDuck knew that was good.
The End.
1) Even dinosaur experts argue if they looked after their babies or not.
(2)There were both rats and garbage in that illegal dump and I don't want to know which Tyrant ate.