Chapter 25: A Gryffindor Christmas Carol

"Lily, I know who he is!" Kim maintained. "It makes perfect sense!" Lily sighed.

"Well, who is he?" she asked.

"I'm not saying," Kim replied. "He would've told us if he wanted us to know."

"The boys all think you're looney," Lily told her. "And you've scared them by putting them on werewolf-alert."

"The boys know?" Kim asked. "Why did you go and tell them for? What did they say? How did they react?"

"Why does it matter?" Ally asked. "Oh Kim, don't say you think it's one of them."

"Kim, you can't believe that," Lily said.

"But it makes sense-"

"I've never heard anyone make less sense in my life," Ally said.

"You can't go around accusing your friends of being werewolves," Lily said.
"I'm not accusing anyone, no one's done anything wrong!" Kim said defensively.

"There are no werewolves in Hogwarts," Ally said patiently, as if she were talking to a troublesome child.

"Yes, there are, well, one anyway," Kim retorted. "This isn't a mad idea I have - I came to a logical conclusion based on the evidence."

"Ok," Lily said, "I'll humour you. Which one of our best friends is a werewolf? Is there something I should know about James?"

"No," Kim replied.

"Well, who is it, then?"

"The one who is quiet and reserved," Kim said. "The one who is missing a lot. The one who was gone away last full moon."

"His mother's ill!" Lily exclaimed. "And how do you know that it wasn't just a coincidence that he went to see her at full moon?"

"He was ill beforehand, and afterwards, and the symptoms described by the author fit," Kim went on.

"Oh, and it isn't possible that he just had the 'flu?" Ally asked.

"He wouldn't go to Madame Pomfrey," Kim said.

"Yes, because boys always ask for help," Ally said.

"Ok, how do you explain the book, then?" Kim challenged. "The style of writing is exactly how he talks, it's got his mannerisms written all over it."

"And is the author still in school?" Lily asked. "Pretty young to be having books published, isn't it?"

"It didn't say," Kim said. "He wouldn't say he was, parents would go ballistic if they thought that there was a werewolf in the school. And there's his name."

"His name?" Ally asked.

"Yes. Remus was raised by wolves, and Lupin means werewolf," Kim said.

"Kim!" Lily exclaimed. "That doesn't prove anything! My name is Lily, am I a flower? Sirius isn't a star; James doesn't make plates for a living. Alice has never wandered around talking to rabbits or falling through looking glasses, and you're Kimberly, yet you're not a biscuit!"

"Ok, you lost me on the last two," Ally said, "but I can't see Dumbledore putting students in danger."

"No one is in danger!" Kim shouted. "And maybe Dumbledore isn't as prejudiced as you two!" She stood up and stormed over to Adele's bed, drawing the hangings roughly. When the others got back, Ally and Lily said nothing. Remus glanced briefly at the pink hangings before he climbed into Kim's own bed. He was just about to draw the yellow and orange hangings when Lily called him.

"C'mon Remus, we're getting a Christmas tree!" she called. He smiled as he heard Peter complaining from the next bed.

"I need some kip," he mumbled.

"Scrooge!" Lily and Lena exclaimed in unison.

"What?" James asked.

"Muggle fiction," Lena said. "Charles Dickens. Oooh, let's tell them A Christmas Carol!"

"You sing Christmas carols, not tell them," Sirius said.

"Shut up," Lily said to him. "It'll be fun!"

"You have officially overdosed on Christmas spirit," Ally said.

"C'mon, Siri, Remus, Kim, Peter!" Lena said. "Let's decorate the tree and we'll tell you all about Scrooge."

"Yeah!" Lily added. The nine teenagers were soon assembled on the festive rug, on which now stood a large fir tree. As Lily began to move fairies, she attempted to start the story. "Ok, how did it start, Lena?"

"There was a banker called Ebenezer Scrooge," she said, "at least, I think he was a banker. Anyway, he was really stingy and saved every penny. He was always grumpy and miserable-"

"Ooh, let's rename him Severus Scrooge!" Ally chipped in. Everyone laughed.
"Yes! And he had a business partner - Marley was his name, wasn't it?" Lily went on.

"How about Malfoy?" Remus suggested, as he draped tinsel around the branches of the tree.

"Yeah! But Malfoy had died, and now Snivelly was in charge," Lena said. "Being a miserable git, he hated having to stop work during Christmas. He made his workers work on Christmas Eve, and expected them back on Boxing Day."

"He paid them time-and-a-half, surely?" Sirius joked.

"Snivellus Scrooge? Never. His workers were only paid a Knut a day," Lily said.

"Scandalous!" James exclaimed in exaggerated indignation.

"Yes, and it was hard for his only employee to support his family."

"Lets call this honourable, hardworking man James," Lily went on. Sirius snorted.

"Why?" he asked.

"Fine then," Lena said. "Anyway, one of his sons was crippled, and his name was Tiny Tim. But he was the happiest boy you could ever meet, and never complained."

"Aww . adorable," Sirius cooed.

"Let's call his son Small Sirius," James said, grinning. Lena laughed.

"James was worried that his Christmas bonus of one Sickle just wouldn't stretch to buy Small Sirius a new broom."

"All he wanted was a Shooting Star .," Sirius lamented.

"Anyway, as James sat huddled at his desk in the cold bank (Snivelly didn't want to waste wood by lighting a fire), he heard his boss approaching. A local woman called 'Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge!' but all Snivelly said in response was a rather rude 'Bah! Humbug!'"

"He'd add a 'Mudblood' somewhere there," Kim remarked.

"Ok, 'Bah! Humbug, Mudbloods!' was Snivelly's response. He slammed the door behind him and grunted in response to his employee's greetings. At the end of the day, he handed a solitary Knut to James.

'B-but sir - the Christmas bonus-' James stuttered. Snivelly's face twisted into an evil sneer.

'See you on Boxing Day,' he said, heading into the back room."

"Git," Peter mumbled. Lily grinned.

"He sat in an armchair near a crackling fire, with a glass of Firewhisky-"

"Bad sign that," Sirius remarked. "Drinking alone."

"-and after a while he drifted off to sleep, until the sound of rattling chains from behind him woke him up. Standing in a shadowy corner, draped in heavy chains, stood none other than Malfoy." James, Remus and Sirius gasped dramatically. "'Severus, I have come with a message from beyond the grave,' Malfoy said with a theatrical rattle of his chains. 'Change your ways, Severus, change your ways! Don't end up like me, condemned to eternal damnation!'"

"Cheery sort of fellow, isn't he?" Kim remarked.

"'You will be visited tonight by three spirits, who will attempt to persuade you to change your ways,' Malfoy went on, shook his chains again, and buggered off. Shaken, Snivelly headed up to bed, convinced that it had been a nightmare."

"Not bloody likely," Ally muttered.

"Sure enough, just as Snivelly was falling asleep again, this time in his bed, the room became colder than normal and a grey figure floated through the door." Lena paused at this stage and grinned at Lily.

"'I am the Ghost of Christmas Past,' Professor Binns announced." The group laughed, and once they'd calmed down, Lena went on. "'I am here to show you what Christmas was like for you when you were younger.' The ghost pulled a Pensieve out and shoved Snivelly's head in it. Snivelly landed with a thud on the cold stone floor of a dungeon. A younger, even greasier Snivelly sat at a desk, adding ingredients while staring absent-mindedly at a far desk. He appeared to be looking at a young girl, whose name was-"

"Lily!" James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Ally and Kim chorused.

"NO WAY!" Lily objected.

"C'mon, Lily, he fancies you," Lena said. "Snivelly turned to Binns.

'I don't like this, let me out,' he said. But Binns shook his head, and Snivelly was forced to watch a younger version of himself clear up his potions things and hurry out of the classroom after Lily.

'Lily!' he called. She spun around.

'Yes?'

'I - I wanted to give you this,' he said, holding out a small present."

"Snivellus Scrooge giving a gift?" James said, feigning disbelief.

"A younger Snivelly," Lena reminded him. "Anyway, Lily looked at the gift.

'Sorry - Severus, I can't accept this,' she said.

'Please-'

'No, really, I'm touched that you care, but - Severus, I don't like you in that way.'"

"She loves somebody else," James supplied.

"'My heart belongs to James,' Lily said."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, if you're going to blame Scrooge on me, at least don't make me sound that pathetic," the real Lily complained.

"Fine," Lena said. "Lily looked young Snivelly in the eye and sang:

'You're making me say that I've got nobody but you,

But as from today, well I've got somebody that's new.

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want

For I have got another guy!' the Beatles song, Another Girl, with a twist." Everyone smiled.

"That's more like it," James agreed.

"Anyway, poor young Snivelly's face fell as she walked away, and the corridor dissolved. Old Snivelly found himself back in his bedroom with the ghost. Binns launched into a long lecture on not letting one disappointment turn him into a complete bastard, but Snivelly drifted off halfway through it."

"Understandable," Sirius commented.

"He was pulled out of his stupor by the sound of hooves approaching. He looked up to see a snow-white centaur draped in a black hood approaching.

'I am the Ghost of Christmas Future,' the centaur announced."

"A centaur?" Ally asked.

"They're brilliant at Divination," Sirius explained.

"'Follow me," the centaur instructed, leading Snivelly into the snowy street outside. The centaur looked up at the sky. After a few minutes of growing steadily colder, Snivelly cleared his throat.

'Are you going to get on with this vision, or are we just going to stand outside freezing our arses off?' Snivelly asked.

'Saturn will reveal all,' the centaur replied. When Snivelly rolled his eyes, the centaur sighed and waved his hand. They appeared in a graveyard, with the centaur still staring at the sky. Snivelly sighed and walked away.

Two people were hurrying through the graveyard, whispering.

'Good riddance, I say!' one whispered. 'Why we're doing this, I don't know!'

'Because after this we can forget that he ever existed,' the other replied.

'We'll miss the party,' the first complained.

'Oh, shut up! He's dead, they party won't stop for a week!'

The dark figures stood for a minute over a headstone, and then moved on. Snivelly followed them, wondering who on earth could be so hideous that the world would be so happy to see them go … he cast a quick glance at the headstone as he passed. It read: Severus Scrooge."

"Freaky," James said.

"Snivelly followed the figures to a pub, where Madame Rosmerta was serving free Firewhisky to everyone, and many were laughing and singing."

"Well, what does he expect?" Sirius wondered.

"Snivelly was shocked, and wandered back to the centaur.

'… and the shade of Venus indicates-'

'I've seen it, I'm dead, the world's rejoicing. Take me home.'

He sat on his bed, awaiting the third and final spirit. Soon he heard thundering footsteps on the stairs, and a seven foot tall, bearded man crashed through the door—"

"Hagrid!" everyone guessed.

"'Hello,' Hagrid said. 'Ghost of Christmas Presen'. I'm here to show yeh wha'll happen this Christmas if yeh stay the way yeh are.' He waved his hand and made an attempt at a spooky-sounding 'oooh' noise. Snivelly found himself standing in the Gryffindor common room, watching a group of people celebrating happily. James was there, with Small Sirius, but no broom."

"Everybody say 'aww'!" Kim instructed.

"Aww!" they said obediently.

"Snivelly watched as they ate a pitiful dinner and began to play games.

'Are you a person?' Small Sirius asked James.

'Yes.'

'Are you a nice person?'

'No.'

'Do I know you personally?'

'Yes.'

'Do you own a bank?'

'Yes.'

'Are you cruel?'

'Yes.'

'Mean?'

'Yes.'

'Ugly?'

'Very.'

'Stingy?'

'The stingiest.'

'Severus Scrooge?'

'Yes!'

The crowd applauded. Snivelly turned to Hagrid, who was grinning and clapping along with the crowd.

'Well done! Yeh got it!' he was saying. Snivelly cleared his throat. 'Oh - yeah. Oooh.' And Snivelly was back in bed." James shivered.

"There's a thought that's going to fester," he said.

"Him in bed gives you the creeps, but the idea of him lusting after me is perfectly ok?" Lily asked. James grinned.

"The next morning, Snivelly woke up with a smile on his face. He jumped out of bed and dressed quickly. He stopped at the first shop he came to, banging on the door until the owner agreed to open up. His arms laden with gifts, he proceeded to Gryffindor Tower.

'Merry Christmas!' he announced to a very surprised James returning from breakfast.

'Mr. Scrooge!' James exclaimed. 'Why, this is so unexpected! There is no canon evidence for this display of generosity.'

'Well, I have decided to turn over a new leaf,' Snivelly announced. 'I am now a kind, caring, generous man.' And with that, he pulled a brand-new Nimbus 1500 from behind his back and handed it to Small Sirius.

'Merry Christmas, everyone!' Small Sirius proclaimed. And from then on, you could not meet a nicer man than Snivellus Scrooge," Lena finished.

"What?!?" James exclaimed.

"What sort of stupid ending is that?" Sirius went on.

"Well, in the Muggle story, Scrooge changes his ways, because of the spirit of giving and such," Lily said.

"Snivelly would never do anything like that!" Sirius insisted.

"Fine, Snivelly gave James the bank, ran away to a desert island, and eventually washed his hair. We never heard from him again," Lena said. "Will that do?"

"It's an improvement," James said.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Snape turning good is about as likely as Lily meeting the Beatles." James and Lily exchanged an amused glance.

"Who's going to put the star up?" Remus wondered.

"Lena, of course," Lily said. "It's always the youngest." So Sirius hoisted Lena up so that she could place the star at the top of the tree.

"Go on, then, Small Sirius," Lena said.

 "Do I have to?" Sirius asked. Lily and Lena glared at him. "Fine," he sighed. "Merry Christmas, everyone."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

I've been extra super unnaturally busy with college and all that! Please forgive me! I don't have my laptop yet, so I don't really have a way to type, and I haven't got my betas totally sorted out yet. But I had to post this; I've been feeling really guilty. Please review! Sorry again!

And can I just say how sorry I was when Gryffindor Tower (an excellent H/G archive and absolutely hilarious site) disbanded. I loved that site, and it is so sad when best friends fight …