THROUGH THE YEARS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a/n: Sorry, I know I'm taking a long time between updates. I am very busy with the holidays. Please bare with me. I would have had this chapter up earlier, but my husband decided we needed to take advantage of the foot of snow we received this weekend, so we all went sledding. Now, I am incredibly tired and trying to finish this chapter and get it posted. Please ignore any mistakes I've made in this chapter. I apologize and blame Mother Nature and Father Time for all mistakes!
Please pay attention to the dates in this chapter, they jump a lot and you may get confused. The first cut from Jack to Sam is a whole year.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 19: All's Fair in Love and War
November 1989 Colorado Springs
Jack had been home for four weeks now. The base psychiatrist he was ordered to see refused to let him go back to work until after the holidays, so Jack spent his days reacquainting himself with his son. Shortly after returning, he had called up an old friend of his to track down Sam and was just awaiting his return call.
Jack was playing with Charlie in the living room when he heard a knock at the door. Getting up, Jack left Charlie on the floor and headed to the door. "Yes," he said after opening the door to a strange man standing on his porch. The man had long hair and a long beard. His clothes were ragged and multi-colored and the man reeked of cigarettes.
"Yo! Duuude! Is like, Sara home?"
Jack's eyebrows shot to his forehead. "No. Who are you?"
"Oh, sorry, man. I'm Randy. Are you like, her dad or something?" the weird man asked.
"Uh, no. I'm her husband," Jack replied, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring at the little man.
"No way! Sara said her husband was dead!" the man exclaimed, his eyes growing wide.
"I was MIA. Not dead. Now I'm back."
"No way! That's fucking cool!" the hippie man replied, rocking his head up and down as if to a beat.
"So, what do you want Sara for?" Jack asked, his curiosity overcoming him.
"Ah, no big thing, man. Just haven't talked to her in awhile. Was wondering if I swung it the wrong way, if you know what I mean. Ha, ha, ha," the man laughed.
Okay, so that pretty much sealed the deal, Jack was sure this man was on drugs. "Well, now that you know I'm back, I'm sure you can figure out why Sara is no longer calling you."
This caused the strange man to laugh out loud. "Yo, man, that's cool. I know how it is. I'll catch you later. Stay cool." With that, the man turned and swaggered off.
Jack watched the man and shook his head. 'What the hell was Sara doing hanging out with a junkie?' he wondered as he shut the door and headed back to Charlie.
A few days later, Jack walked in the front door after visiting the guys at the base with Charlie. "Sara, we're home," he called after walking in the door and setting Charlie down. Charlie immediately took off crawling to his toys in the other room.
"Hey, did you boys have fun?" Sara asked, walking into the room, wiping her hands off on a towel.
"Yeah, it was great to be back on base, even if just for a visit," Jack told her.
"You had a phone call today. Balinski."
This got Jack's attention in a heart beat. "What did he say?" Jack asked, his heart in his throat.
"He said Lt. Sam Carter is stationed at Edwards. Are you going to go find her?"
Jack looked at Sara. He knew their marriage was a sham, but could he really just come right out and tell her he was going to go find the woman he really loved and beg her to forgive him?
Before he could answer, Sara started back up. "If you leave me for her, you'll never see Charlie again."
"WHAT?" Jack roared. "Don't you ever try to bribe me with my son! He's MY SON! I have as much right to him as you do!"
"Do you really believe that? HA! You leave me and I'll fight you for custody. Do you really think any judge in his right mind would give custody to a washed-out special ops soldier who's in therapy? I'll get full custody of him and go where you'll never find him."
"Why? Why would you do that, Sara? What the hell have I ever done to you? I've given you everything you've asked for. Why do you continue to make my life a living hell?"
"Because," she replied in a frigid tone. "You made my life hell first."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know damn well what it means! This is NOT the life I had planned for myself. You're the son-of-a-bitch who knocked me up!"
"Then leave! We don't need you!"
"I'm not leaving my son! And, I'm NOT going to be a divorced mother! So, you'd better think about what you want, Jack. Sam or Charlie, because you better believe there's no way in hell I'm going to let you get both!"
"I don't want to be in a loveless marriage, damn it! This is the biggest lie of a marriage there ever was. My God, Sara! We haven't even had sex in a year!"
Sara lowered her head.
"But, you have, haven't you?" he questioned her, his stance turning defensive.
Sara looked up at him, no emotion on her face, whatsoever. "I had every right. I thought you were dead."
Jack's eyebrows shot up on his forehead. "Have you ever heard of the mourning period?" he asked, sarcastically.
"Oh, please!" Sara snapped.
"So, seriously, I'm just curious, who exactly did you get your jollies from?"
"Someone who's nothing like you!" she snapped again.
Jack laughed. "The hippie man! Oh my God! You slept with that loser! Sara, I thought you had better taste than that?"
Sara swaggered closer to Jack. "Let me tell you one thing, you might be bigger, but I've never gotten my jollies from you, O'Neill."
Jack glared at the woman he was supposed to love. "Well, when you're so rigid, I can understand why."
Sara slapped him across the face.
"You bitch!" Jack screamed as he snatched his coat back off the rack and slammed the door shut behind him as he stormed out of the house. 'What was he supposed to do now?'
Sara walked to the kitchen where the phone number and address Balinski gave her to give to Jack sat. She picked it up, ripped it into several pieces and threw it in the garbage. "There is no way I'm letting you have him, Samantha," she said to the empty room.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November, 1990 California
"Gracie, sweetie, come on! You're going to make me late for work!" Sam complained as she chased the 18-month old around the kitchen table.
"No work!" Grace squealed, running from her mom and laughing.
"Grace! Please, I have to go to work. Don't you want to play with the other kids at daycare?"
"NO!"
Sam sighed. "Well, too bad, you don't have a choice young lady," Sam replied, coming around the other side and snatching the little girl up in her arms.
Grace laughed as her brown curly hair fell in her face while she struggled to get her mom to release her.
"Grace, mommy will play with you later. Right now, I have to go to work, so stay still so I can brush your hair."
Grace giggled again but stayed still so her mom could brush her unruly hair. Sam couldn't believe how curly her daughter's hair was. Grace looked so much like Kelly O'Neill, that on several occasions, Sam actually called her Kelly on accident.
Grace looked absolutely nothing like Sam, which surprised a lot of people. Her hair was already long, reaching the middle of her back. It was a light brown color, with wisps of blonde streaked through from her infant days when it had all been blonde. Her eyes were a deep, chestnut brown and her skin was a much darker color than Sam's fair skin.
Sam quickly pulled the little girl's hair up into a ponytail and snatched her back up in her arms. "You're going to play with Miss Debbie and Miss Kate today. Does that sound like fun?"
"No, they no let me color!" Grace replied.
"That's because you colored on the walls. You broke the rules and you're being punished," Sam told the little girl as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door for work.
Sam dropped Grace off at the daycare and headed into work, making it there right on time.
"Carter, our unit's ordered to report to the auditorium," Lt. Cameron Mitchell yelled, coming up behind Sam.
"Oh, okay. Do I have time to put my things up?" Sam asked, looking at her long-time friend. She had been thrilled to see him when she was assigned to Edwards.
"Uh, I don't know. You'd better just bring them with you. Better safe than sorry."
Sam nodded and walked with Mitchell to the auditorium.
They took a seat with the rest of their unit, noticing the other units also in the large room.
"Do you know what this is about?" Sam asked, leaning towards Mitchell.
"I think it has to do with the Gulf," Mitchell whispered back.
Sam nodded her head as the general of the base walked in.
Everyone stood at attention until the general yelled, "at ease, take a seat."
Sam felt butterflies take off in her stomach.
"Airmen, as you all are aware, the UN has ordered an ultimatum for Iraq. Effective immediately, all air units on this base are being ordered to Kuwait. All units have the next 48 hours off. Report back here in 48 hours, prepared to go to war."
Sam closed her eyes. 'Damn! She knew this was going to happen!'
"Carter, you alright?" Mitchell asked from beside her.
"Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to explain this to a 1 ½ year old."
"Who's taking her? Your dad or your brother?"
"My dad. Mark thinks I'm selfish staying in the Air Force after having Grace."
"Your brother sounds like an ass," Mitchell replied.
Sam looked over at her friend. "Yeah, he is."
"So, see you in 48 hours," Mitchell said, standing up.
Sam gave him a half smile and headed back out, wondering how she was going to tell her little girl that mommy was going to war!
Sam got home, called her dad and packed Grace's things. Within two hours, she and Grace were on a plane heading to Louisiana where Jacob Carter had been stationed just after Grace's birth.
Sam spent the next 40 hours with her dad and daughter, trying to get in as much quality time as possible before having to leave for the middle east.
Forty-seven hours after the general gave them leave, Sam walked back on base, hold-all packed and ready to go to Kuwait.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 1991 Colorado Springs
Jack walked into the briefing room with the rest of his team. Since returning to active duty, he had been commanding officer of Cromwell's old team. He nodded for his men to have a seat and then took the seat he was in front of.
A few minutes later the general entered the room. Before the men could get completely out of their seats, the general said, "at ease, men," and took his seat at the front of the table. "So, our intelligence suggests that Saddam won't be pulling his troops out when the UN's mandate runs out on the 15th, so I've been ordered to send in officers who have adequate knowledge in Iraq. Colonel, you'll be taking your team in and leading a ground patrol unit if it comes to that, understood?"
"Yes, sir," Jack replied.
"Good, you leave in 24 hours, go home and kiss your loved ones good-bye. Dismissed."
Jack stood up. "You heard the man, get your asses home and get ready to go to war," Jack ordered his men, at the same time, fighting his own demons about having to return to the place of his nightmares.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February, 1991 Kuwait
"Damn, Carter! That was some sweet-ass flying you did up there, girl!" a colonel from another air unit called as Sam took off her helmet after climbing out of the cockpit.
"Thank you, sir," Sam replied, grinning from ear-to-ear. She had fired on the enemy and diverted a missile from the colonel's aircraft without getting herself blown up.
"Carter, you can fly with me, anytime," the colonel told her, shaking her hand and looking around for the lieutenant's commanding officer to voice his praise to her CO.
Mitchell came up behind Sam and tickled her sides. "Way to go, Carter!" he laughed, pulling her along with the rest of their air unit. "Let's go eat!"
"Yes, I'm starving!" Sam replied, wrapping her arm around Mitchell and one of the other men in her unit.
They headed to the makeshift commissary and stood in line for lunch.
"Jeez, Carter, where'd you learn to fly like that?" Captain Rick Murphy asked the still-beaming lieutenant.
"I was trained for special forces," she replied.
"Really? When?" Mitchell cut in, surprised by this new information about Sam.
"Over two years ago."
"So, then, why aren't you in special ops now?" Mitchell asked.
Sam looked at her friend and replied with one simple word, "Grace."
"Ah, okay, that makes sense."
"So, Carter," Captain Murphy began again. "This has bugged me ever since I found out you were a single mom. How did someone as hot as you, not end up married to the father of your child?"
Sam looked at the man with an evil smirk on her face. "Because he was already married," she told him, and then turned her back to start dishing out food, the evil smirk growing on her face.
The captain was speechless. He had no idea the clean-cut lieutenant would screw a married man. This made him wonder about the darker side of Lt. Carter.
Mitchell tried to hide his grin from the captain. He and Sam had never talked about the paternity of her daughter, but he knew who it was the moment he first met little Grace. She looked just like her dad.
The group finished in the line and then headed over to the table where the rest of their air unit was sitting. Sam sat down next to Mitchell and Murphy sat down next to Sam.
"So, lieutenant…" the captain started after taking a bite of his food. "I'm a married man," he finished, waggling his eyebrows in a playful gesture at Sam.
Sam and Mitchell both laughed.
"Sorry, Captain, you're not my type," Sam told him in between laughs.
"So, then, who is your type?" Murphy asked, not giving up the subject.
Before Sam could answer, Mitchell dropped his fork with a loud clang. Sam looked over at him to see what was wrong. "Cam, what is it?" she asked and then followed his gaze to the other side of the room. "Oh my God," Sam exclaimed when she saw what Mitchell was looking at.
Sam continued to stare at the man on the other side of the commissary. She was surprised she hadn't sensed him before now and wondered if that was a sign that they weren't meant to be together. 'Of course we're not meant to be. He's married to someone else!' Sam yelled in her head.
"Sam, does he know?" Mitchell asked, turning his gaze from Jack to Sam.
"No," Sam answered, knowing exactly what Cam was asking about.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know," she replied.
"What are you two on about?" Murphy asked, feeling left out of the conversation.
Sam was about to answer him when she recognized one of the officers with Jack look directly at her. She watched as Kowalsky turned his head and spoke to Jack. A second later she saw Jack's head shoot around and search out the room until his eyes locked on hers.
"Sam, I think you need to go over there," Mitchell whispered to her. He knew a scene in front of the entire unit was not something Sam would be comfortable with.
"Yeah," Sam said back in a low voice and stood up, her eyes never leaving Jack's eyes.
Jack watched Sam stand up and he started walking towards her, so many emotions coursing through his veins. By the time she cleared the table, he was at a slow jog. They met in the middle of the room. Without a word, he reached out and pulled her towards him. After holding her for seconds, he pulled back enough to stroke her face. "Sam," he whispered and then captured her lips.
Sam responded eagerly and for a brief moment, they were in heaven, both having forgotten about the situations that had forced them apart.
"God, Sam," Jack said after the kiss ended. He rubbed her cheek with his thumb and looked deep in her eyes. "I've been so worried about you. What were you thinking joining special forces?"
Sam cupped Jack's hand with hers. "How….how did you know I joined special forces?"
"I saw your name on the roster for 'Operation Grace'."
Sam lowered her head, breaking eye contact for the first time since the kiss broke. "I'm not in special forces, Jack. I joined, but never went on any missions," she told him, looking back up at him.
He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Good," he told her and then pulled her back into a hug. "God, I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," Sam gasped, holding on to him for dear life.
Jack let go a few seconds later and grabbed Sam's hand. "Come with me, let's get out of here."
Sam nodded her head in agreement and followed Jack out of the room, taking one second to look back at Mitchell.
Mitchell, who watched the whole reunion between Jack and Sam from his seat, nodded his head when Sam looked back at him.
"Who is that with Lt. Carter?" Murphy asked Mitchell.
"That is Carter's type," Mitchell replied, grinning as the couple left the commissary.
"Really? Huh, I thought he looked a little bit old for her."
This comment made Mitchell laugh hardily before swiping Sam's uneaten jello.
Jack walked at a quick pace out of the room, tugging Sam along. As soon as they were away from any prying eyes, Jack turned around, grabbed both sides of Sam's face and kissed her like he had been dreaming of for over two years.
"Oh, Sam," he moaned, releasing her mouth from his and kissing his way down her neck. "I've missed you, so much."
Sam didn't want this moment to ever stop. She had Jack and she didn't ever want to give him up! So what if he was married! So what if he had a son! So what if he didn't even know Sam had his daughter! Oh wait! She should probably tell him about that! "Jack," she tried to get him to stop but his name rolled off her tongue in a moan and made Jack attack her neck with his mouth with even more desire. "Oh, Jack, please," she moaned again, really not getting the point across that she needed him to stop so she could talk to him.
"Sam," he moaned between kisses. "Please, I need you, so bad, please."
Sam wasn't sure, but she may have nodded her head, getting herself caught up in the moment. Apparently Jack was sure she nodded her head because before she knew what was going on, he was pulling her towards his tent.
By the time they were in his small quarters, Sam had already managed to unzip his pants and the top of her fatigues had been dropped somewhere along the way to his tent. Half of her mind worried that she would be in trouble for losing her shirt, the other half just wanted to lose the rest of her clothes.
She really needed to tell him about Grace before they went any further. He was a married man, for crying out loud, they shouldn't even be doing this! "Jack," she moaned again as he laid her down on his cot and pulled her pants off her. "Please, Jack," she moaned, causing his arousal to increase. This really wasn't helping!
"Sam," Jack moaned as he laid on top of her, during her haze, their clothes had been completely removed. "I love you, so much," he whispered as he positioned himself above her.
Ah hell, she can always tell him afterwards…..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Carter, Carter, are you in there?"
Sam opened her eyes at the sound of her name being called.
"Psst, Carter, you in there?" came Cameron's voice through the thin tent wall.
"Uh, yeah, what do you want?" she asked, not moving out of the naked arms of Jack O'Neill. Jack seemed to be thinking the same thing because his arm tightened around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
"We've been ordered out for another air attack. We take off in ten minutes."
"Damn," Sam hissed, shooting up on the small cot. She jumped out of the bed and started gathering her clothes.
Jack sat up in bed and watched her, upset that the magic moment with the love of his life was ending so soon.
"Shit, Jack, what did you do with my underwear?"
Cameron made a face from the other side of the tent.
"Oh, um, I don't know," Jack replied, running his hands through his hair.
Sam looked up at the man on the cot. "Uh, Jack…behind you." She gestured for Jack to look behind him.
"Well, I'll be! How on Earth did they get on my pillow?"
Sam grinned and shrugged her shoulders as she reached her hand out to take the underwear from Jack.
Jack grabbed Sam's panties and held them out for her, but when she went to take them, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on top of him. "I love you, Sam," he whispered before kissing her again.
They pulled away seconds later. "I love you, too, Jack." She smiled at him, the smile that never failed to melt his heart, and slid her underwear back on. She quickly located the rest of her clothes. "Hey, Cameron, do you see a shirt out there anywhere?" she yelled through the tent wall.
"Uh, I don't know, where would it be?" Mitchell asked, looking around in the immediate vicinity.
"Oh, anywhere from the commissary to here," Jack answered, pulling off the blanket and standing up.
Sam pulled her tank top over her head and sat on the small folding chair in the room to put on her socks and shoes.
Jack watched her get dressed, disappointment and another round of desire fighting for dominance in his body.
As soon as Sam tied both shoes, she looked up at Jack and remembered what she was supposed to tell him. "Jack," she said, standing up and reaching for him.
Jack immediately took the small step to her and wrapped her in his arms.
"I have to tell you something. It's really important," she whispered, anxiously.
Jack cupped her face with his hands and looked deep in her eyes, "What is it, Sam?" he whispered, rubbing his thumbs softly along her cheekbones.
"It's about Grace," she whispered, almost inaudibly, and looked down at the ground.
"What about it?"
"CARTER! We have to go now! I can hear the engines," Mitchell yelled from the other side of the tent.
"Shit," Sam hissed, half of her happy she didn't have to do this right now, the other half massively disappointed that she had to put it off longer. "I have to go. Please, this is important, Jack. I have to tell you as soon as I get back."
Jack continued to stroke her face. "Then, I'll be there as soon as you land, Sam."
Sam smiled and pulled Jack closer to her. "I love you. I'll see you as soon as I get back."
Jack leaned down and kissed Sam with all the love he had. "I love you, Sam. I'll be here, you be careful, please," he pleaded.
Sam half-smiled at him, the last thing she wanted to do right now was leave.
"Carter!" Mitchell's voice yelled, worriedly.
Sam pulled away from Jack and squeezed his hand one last time before pulling away completely. She ran out of the tent and took off at a run towards the make-shift runway.
Mitchell threw the shirt he found on the ground at her while they ran and she slid it on while dashing towards her jet.
Jack quickly threw his clothes back on and hurried to the airfield to see Sam take off. "Be careful, love," he whispered as she flew overhead and off to battle.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam landed her jet on the runway and hurried out as fast as she could. Jack had told her he would meet her as soon as she landed, but she didn't see him anywhere. While flying, she realized how important it was that Jack know about Grace before anymore intimate moments between them took place.
When she had cleared the airfield and still no Jack, Sam started to worry. She headed to her tent to strip out of her flight suit and put on clean fatigues. As soon as she walked into her tent, she saw the small envelope lying on her cot, her name written across it in Jack's familiar scrawl.
Sam took a deep breath, worried about what was inside. Did he decide she wasn't worth risking his marriage? Did he realize she wasn't as good as Sara? Did he lie when he said he loved her and was now trying to get away?
Sam's hands were trembling as she tried to open the envelope. "This is stupid," she murmured to herself as a tear escaped her eye. She quickly wiped it away and tore open the envelope.
Her eyes took in the familiar handwriting of Jack and she sat on her bed as she started to read the letter.
Dear Sam,
I'm so sorry. Shortly after you left, the base received orders to send in ground troops. It looks like this war isn't just going to be aerial assaults after all. By the time you read this, I should be leading a large ground unit into Iraq. I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to tell me about Operation Grace. I want to hear all about it, trust me. I have a lot to tell you about it, too. You don't know this, but I was sent in to rescue your team. I'll tell you everything when I get back. Sam, I love you. I know I'm married and I hurt you so much, but I know we are meant to be together. Don't ever forget that, because I know someday we will be. You know how much I hate writing letters, so I guess I should probably wrap this up and get my team ready to head out. I'll see you when I get back. I love you.
Love,
Jack
Sam read the letter one more time and then, carefully, folded it up and put it in her hold-all. She was sitting on her bed, dazed and feeling emotionally empty inside, when Mitchell came looking for her.
"Sam, hey, I heard about the ground units, you okay?" he asked gently, walking in and sitting down next to the distraught Lieutenant.
Sam turned her gaze from her hands in her lap to Mitchell. "No….I didn't tell him," she murmured.
"Were you planning to?" he asked.
Sam nodded her head and turned her gaze back to her lap.
"So what happened?"
Sam shrugged her shoulders. "I never got the chance."
"Carter! You were with him for over six hours," Cameron cried in disbelief.
"I know!" she cried back. "We were preoccupied."
Cameron groaned, letting his friend know he did not want to hear the details. "For 6 hours!"
"No, we fell asleep afterwards and then you woke me up," she accused.
"For your job! You really can't blame me."
"I know," Sam replied, sheepishly. "I don't. I blame myself." Sam groaned. "Cam, I was really planning on telling him as soon as we got back."
"The war's not over yet, Sam. You'll probably get your second chance," he comforted her. "Come on, the guys are putting together a volleyball game and we need you on our team," he announced, pulling Sam off the bed before she could refuse.
Sam followed Cameron out the door, still unsure what her future would inevitably be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four days after Jack led the ground units into Iraq, a cease-fire was called. Sam was ecstatic. Two days after that, several ground units started arriving at the small base. Sam watched everyone, impatiently awaiting the return of Jack.
Unfortunately, fate was not on her side. Two weeks after the cease-fire was issued, Sam's team was ordered back to the States. She was happy to be going home to see Grace and her dad again, but massively depressed that she would not be there when Jack returned. She needed to tell him about Grace. He had a right to know and she was determined to tell him, no matter what. With one last glance around the sandy dunes of Kuwait, Sam boarded the aircraft that would carry her home.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a/n: Originally, I wasn't planning on having them meet in Iraq, but my fluff-filled muse had other plans! The next chapter will have Sam being transferred to DC and the start of the Stargate Project for her! Stay tuned!