Chapter 4

"Um, Max." Susie said to her former boss.

"Yeah? Oh. Susie. Hi." he said.

"Um, I was wondering if you would like to-"

"Go on a date?"

"Yes."

"Sure. Um, I'll pick you up at seven." Max blushed.

"Okay."

"So, do you want your job back?"

"No, not really. I've always wanted to be a singer, actually. Never a chef. I dont even know why I took this job. I guess my parents wanted me to do something useful."

.....

"Phil. Why dont you get out of the apartment and do something?" Kimi asked. Phil was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I dont want to. I'm a wreck. I dont have a job, a girlfriend, or a life." Phil said watching Its Your Feelings.

"Phil, go find another job. Being a teacher isnt that good." Kimi said.

"Yes it is. I loved those kids, although I only read magazines while I was there, but I loved them, except that Italian kid, Vinny." Phil said. Kimi put her hand on his shoulder. "Kimi." he said.

"Yeah?"

"I remember what I wanted to ask you the day I started subbing for you." Phil said.

"What?"

"Can I borrow fifty bucks?" Phil smiled. Kimi smiled at him and rolled her eyes.

"Sure." she sighed.

.....

"Tommy." Lil said.

"Yeah?" Tommy asked turning off the TV.

"Um, I've been thinking about the future." she said.

"And?"

"Well, I've been thinking about a baby." Lil said. Tommy stared at her.

"A-a b-baby?" Tommy asked. "You know Lil, thats a big responsibility."

"I know, but I'm ready."

"Well," he sighed, "okay. Okay. But, um. Like, now? Or..."

"Well, not now. I have to go to work." Lil said and grabbed her coat. "Bye." she kissed him and left.

He smiled at her leaving. "Phil!" he ran across the hall and knocked on the door.

"Hey Tommy." Kimi answered it.

"Hi. Where's Phil?"

"Over there." she pointed to him on the couch.

"Phil!" he noticed Its Your Feelings, "Yuck. Turn that scum show off."

"Thats your show." Phil said.

"I know. Turn it off." Tommy said. Phil rolled his eyes and switched it off. "Anyway, Phil. Um, Lil said she was thinking and she wants a baby."

"And?" Phil asked.

"Well, I dont know if I'm ready for a kid. We've only been married about...um." Tommy said.

"About seven months." Kimi said.

"Thank you." Tommy said. "Only seven months Phil. Only seven months!"

"So what?" Phil asked.

"I'm not quite ready." Tommy said.

"So what? Its just sex without a condom, pretty much." Phil said.

"Its a little more complicated than that." Tommy said.

"How?" Kimi asked.

"No idea." Tommy replied.

.....

"Chuckie, are you okay?" Chuckie's assistant, Mona, asked. Chuckie remained silent. "Chuckie?" she asked again. Chuckie started snoring. "Chuckie!"

"What? Who? When? Huh?" he woke up jumping out of his chair. "Yeah?"

"Um, I think you need a day off." Mona said.

"Nonsense." he said. "Okay, maybe you're right. Bye." he said and walked out the door and over to Dil's who he had been staying with since Tommy and Lil came home.

"Hey Chuckie." Dil said.

"Hey. Geeze, I really need a vacation." Chuckie said.

"Why not Reptar Land?" Dil asked.

"Thats in Paris." Chuckie said. "Besides, its a kids' place."

"So. Go anyway." Dil said.

"I might do that, Dil." Chuckie said.

.....

"Um, Lil." Tommy walked into her office.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um, about our talk about the baby. Um, I dont really know if-"

"Oh, I'm so glad you agreed." she hugged him. "I've always wanted a kid."

He looked down at her and sighed. "Me too."

.....

"Phil!" Kimi yelled. "Thats it! Get off the couch and go get a job. You're the laziest person ever!"

"No I'm not. I'm second laziest." Phil said.

"Who's first?"

"Um. Me."

"I thought you were-"

"You thought wrong!" Phil snapped walking out of the apartment. On the way down the stairs, he caught Tommy coming up. "Hey T. How'd the baby talk go?"

"Not so good. I didnt even say anything. Just that I have always wanted a kid." Tommy sighed. "See ya Phil."

"Bye." Phil said and walked outside. He saw May walking down the street. 'Lets see. How desperate am I?' he asked himself.

"Hi Phil." she said as she walked by.

'I'm pretty desperate.' he thought. "Hey May!" he yelled.

"Yeah?" she turned around.

"Um, you wanna get lunch sometime?"

"Like now?"

"Sure."

.....

"What are you packing for Chuckie?" Dil asked walking into his room.

"Packing for my vacation." Chuckie replied.

"You're actually going through with it?" Dil asked. "I was just joking."

"I know, but it just sounds like a good idea." Chuckie said. "It'll be cool going back there."

"Um, no. You're a moron." Dil said and walked out the door.

.....

"So, Phil. How's it been?" May asked.

"Good, I've-"

"Geeze, Phil. Just go on about yourself." May snapped and crossed her arms.

"But, I didn't-"

"Blah blah blah. Geeze."

"But I-"

"Listen Phil. I wouldn't have come with you if I had known all we were going to talk about was you!" May yelled.

"But I-" Phil started to cry. "I wasnt-"

"Look at that. You're crying you love yourself so much!" May shouted.

"I cant take this!" Phil yelled and ran away.

"Geeze. Wont even let anyone else talk." May said to her self.

.....

"A baby?" he asked hisself. "A baby?"

"Tommy!" Chuckie ran in. "Do you think I should go to ReptarLand?"

"I'm buisy! " Tommy yelled.

"Looks like you're just sitting there."

"You're not about to have a freakin baby!"

"Lil's pregnant!?"

"No. She wants to be. But, its like, like, too, like, soon, man." Tommy said. "I dont wanna have no stupid kid!" he yelled as Lil walked in. "Uh-oh."

"So, you dont have a baby?" she asked.

"No , I honetsly dont wanna have a baby with you." Tommy frowned.

"With me? So you dont want one with me? How about Susie? Or Laura?" Lil asked.

"Ooohhh." Chuckie said. "Burn."

"Shut up Finster!" Lil yelled.

"Sorry ma'am." he looked down.

"Thats not what I meant! I dont wanna have a baby with you, or anyone!"

"God. Thats still bad." Chuckie said.

"Chuckie. Get out." Lil said.

"But I wanna watch. " Chuckie moaned.

"GET OUT!" Lil shreiked.

"Yes ma'am." he frowned and walked into the hall. Lil slammed the door in his face.

"So no baby wih me, ay?" she asked.

"Wait. No! I mean yes! I mean no. But yes. Yes for the part about you! No about the baby." Tommy said a little confused himself.

"My break is over. I must return to work." Lil said.

"Ooooh." they heard Chuckie.

"Chuckie! Dammit!" she pounded the door.

.....

Phil was at Doug's Diner depressed. "Hey Phil." Larry said.

"Hey Larry." Phil frowned.

"Whats seems to be putting you down?" Larry asked.

"The gay hooker broke up with me, kind of." Phil said.

"I thought you broke up with her."

"Well, I did at first. My life isn't going good. I have no job, no-"

"I'm not good with this problem stuff. Let me get Doug." Larry said. "Hey Doug!"

"What?"

"Get over here!"

"What for?"

"Phil has problems!"

"I know. So does all his friends!"

"I mean like problems in his life."

"He probaly does."

"You're good with this stuff! Get over here!" Larry said. Doug sighed and walked over to them.

"What?" he asked very angerliy.

"Girl problems." Larry said.

"The gay hooker?" Doug asked.

"Bingo." Larry said.

"Where is the loser?" they looked around and he was gone."Loser." Doug said reffering to Phil.