Chapter 6

"Hey Tommy." Phil said as he enterd Doug's Diner.

"Hey." he said.

"So, T, how'd you like last night?" Phil asked.

"Huh?"

'You know. Eh?"

"What?"

"Did ya make a baby?"

"How am I suppose to know? Endless animal sex doesn't always lead to a baby." Tommy said.

"I know. But how'd it go?"

"Good, I guess. I dont really feel comfortable telling you this."

"Telling who what?" Doug asked.

"Nothing!" they both said.

"Okay, if you say so, T." Doug chuckled. "By the way, good job last night." he whispered.

"Huh? And dont call me T." Tommy said. "Phil, have you told everyone?"

'Not everyone. I didn't tell the President."

"Phil. Stupid. I mean everyone we know."

"Okay, then yes."

"I'm gonna kill you!"

.....

"So Angelica,"her boss Daniel said, "you been doin alright?"

"Yep." she replied.

"I was thinking maybe we could go out."

"Daniel, you're fifty something years old. And you're married. "

"I'm hitting on 60. But, who cares?"

"Me! And your wife!" she yelled. "Get out!"

"No one talks to Daniel McPaniel like that!"

"Your last name is Stephens." Angelica said.

"Thats it! I cant take this abuse! You're fired!" he yelled.

"ME!?" Lil poked her head in.

"No, Angelica." Daniel said.

'Crap' Lil thought.

"But, but, Mr. Stephens-" Angelica said.

"Thats Mr. Stephens to you!" he yelled. "Now get out!"

"Okay, just give me time to pack my-"

"No! Now. I'll take your stuff."

"But, its my stuff."

"Get over it! Now get out!"

Angelica sighed and walked out. Lil came over to her side. "It'll be okay, he's a jerk. You're better than him." Lil said.

"Nuh uh. He's a filthy rich ass. I'm broke! He has a condo, I have an apartment, he rides whales, I ride taxis, he has two wives, I have-"

"Okay I get the picture. He's better than, so what?" Lils aid."Hey! I have an idea! I'll pretend to be you! You be me. I'll be the one getting fired, you wont."

"But you'll loose your job."

"So, I hate this scum job."

"No, Lil. I'm going to prove I'm not a loser. I'll get a new job, a better job. Daniel can bite me!"

.....

"Hello, I'm Angelica and I'll be your waitress today." she moaned.

"You're awful purty.'"the man said.

"I'm waiting your food, not body, sexy firm, body. Now, what will you have?"

.....

"Kids, you remember Phil." Kimi announced to the class.

"yo Philly!" Vinny yelled.

"Hey Vinny." he said. 'You big obnaxcious piece of sh-'

"So! Phil will be our assiatant. anyway, time for history test." Kimi yelled.

'AWWWW!" the whole moaned. Several minutes past and everybody but Vinny was done.

"Hey Philly!" Vinny whispered.

"What?" Phil asked turning from his porno magazine.

"Whats the capital of Kentucky?"

"Nova Scotia, duh." Phil rolled his eyes. "You're stupid if you dont know that."

"Thanks Philly." Vinny replied. "Hey Phil! Who was the second president?"

"Bruce Willis, duh. Thats a no thinker." Phil replied.

"Thanks Philly," Vinny said, "Hey Phil, what year did Arizona become a state?"

"Geeze you're dumb, 435 B.C. Duh"

.....

"So, Angie, you wanna gimme desert menu?" the man asked.

"Dont call me that. And no, I dont feel like it. I have a headache."

"Okay, see ya later, hottie." he said and walked out the door.

"Stupid cowboy hottie." she said to herself.

"Hey Angelica." Lil walked in.

"Hey Lil. This job really sucks." Angelica groaned. "Hey whats that?"Lil looked at the table the guy was sitting at. There was a check and a note. Angelica picked up the check. "$500.00!?" sheyelled.

"He left you one heck of a tip." Lil said." And there's a note." Angelica picked it up. It read: Call me. 555-9045.

"Yeah, like I'm really gonna call him."

....

"555-9045." Angelica said as she dialed the number.

"Hello?"

Angelica quickly hung up. "What am I doing?" she asked herself. "I've gotta get a hold of myself. I feel like I'm in high school all over again."

.....

"Phil, come here." Kimi said.

"Yeah?" he walked over to her desk.

"Did you help Vinny?"

'No."

"Are you sure. He said that the capital of Kentucky is Nova Scotia, the three colors of the flag are gold, green and choclate, and the tree the George Washigton chopped down was a money tree."

"Maybe I helped him a little."

"Yo Philly! Thanks for the help!" Vinny shouted.

"How many did Vinny miss?" Phil asked.

"99. He got question 42 correct, who were the enemies in World War II? He put Japanese and Germans."

"Yeah, I told him the wrong answer on purpose so it didn't look like he cheated."