THROUGH THE YEARS
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a/n: I know everyone has heard this excuse a hundred times, but, I swear to God, my computer has been broken since the Sunday before Christmas. There was a power outage and it took out the computer's power supply. What was supposed to take 3 days to fix, took a week and a half due to the holidays. But, all is fixed now and I squeezed in the time to write this chapter. I am very tired, I spent the day chopping and stacking wood. Joy! So, once again, ignore any mistakes you find.
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Chapter 23: Questions and Answers
January 1994 Washington DC.
"No, Katherine, I think everything will go just fine," Sam said into the phone. She had been talking to Katherine on the telephone since arriving home. Their meeting with the Joint Chiefs was being held on Monday and Katherine was worried they wouldn't get the funding and go-ahead to start research on the ring. "I really think we have enough background research to convince them this is a project worth investing in……I know, but I don't think that will be a problem…….Um, I doubt they'll want us conducting experiments on it in a warehouse, they'll probably move it to a more secure location. Yes, probably something like that…."
"Mommy, Mommy, can I play my new computer game? Please!" Grace squealed, running up and tugging on her mom's leg.
"Not right now," Sam shushed her daughter away while she was on the phone.
"But, Mom! It's educational!" Grace whined, continuing to pull on Sam's leg.
"Grace Suzanne! I am on the phone," Sam scolded her daughter after pulling the receiver away from her face and crushing it to her chest. "Go sit down and watch TV or play in your room until I am finished."
Grace stuck out her bottom lip and moped into the living room. "There's nothing to do 'round here," she complained before plopping down on the couch.
Before Sam put the phone back to her ear, she yelled at her daughter, "you just got a bunch of new toys for Christmas! How can you say there isn't anything to do? Go play with them."
"Christmas was weeks ago! I already played with all my new toys," Grace yelled back at her mom. Some times grown-ups just didn't understand!
Sam rolled her eyes and returned the phone to her throbbing ear.
A few minutes and fifty channel-flips later, the doorbell rang. Grace, excited by the interruption, jumped off the couch and hurried to answer the door.
Sam, who also heard the doorbell, headed to the door, with the phone still to her ear, right behind Grace. Grace swung the door open and Sam's jaw dropped at who she saw standing in the doorway.
"Aunt Kelly!" Grace squealed and dove into the arms of her aunt.
"Katherine, I'm going to have to call you back," Sam said to the phone before hanging up the line.
"Gracie! How've you been? Did you have a good Christmas?" Kelly asked the excited four-year old who was hugging her tightly.
"Uh-huh! Grandpa spent Christmas with us and bought me a huge Barbie dollhouse and Santa brought me my own refrigerator and stove, but they don't really work, and I got some computer games for Mommy's computer, but she won't let me play them right now even though they're educational and I got a really pretty dress that Mommy won't let me wear to school 'cuz Mommy said it'll get ruined, and I got a new baby doll and some other stuff, too," Grace rambled off excitedly to her aunt.
Before Kelly could process everything Grace had just said to her, Grace turned her attention from her aunt to the other two women still standing in the doorway. "Who are you?" she asked just as bluntly as any four-year old.
Maggie O'Neill smiled down at the talkative, beautiful little girl with tears in her eyes. "I'm your grandma."
"What?" Grace asked in a whisper. She shot her head around to her mother, causing her curls to bounce into her face.
Sam, who had been standing behind Grace in an obvious state of shock, couldn't find the words to acknowledge Maggie's statement, so settled for nodding her head at her little girl.
Grace turned back around to face the woman claiming to be her grandma. "But, Mommy said my grandma is dead," Grace challenged.
Maggie knelt down to Grace's level. "Yes, one of your grandmas is dead, but you have two grandmas. Your Mommy's mom died when she was just a girl, but I am your Daddy's mom."
Grace took a step back from the woman as her eyes grew wide in disbelief. "My dad?" she questioned, unbelievingly.
"That's right, sweetie, your dad is my son. I am your grandma."
Sam's hand had come up to cup her mouth, keeping any sobs from escaping. This was not who she was expecting at her door. Grace, still not sure what to think of Maggie, turned back to her mom for confirmation.
Everyone else's attention was also drawn to the distraught woman standing behind Grace. "I'm sorry, Sam," Kelly spoke up, worried Sam would blame her for the intrusion. "I took photos of you and Grace home with me and as soon as Mom saw Grace she insisted on coming here."
Sam, still not sure she could talk without letting a sob escape, nodded her head to the younger woman.
"She's really Jack's?" Kelly asked, barely above a whisper. Even with everyone else completely positive that she was, Kelly wasn't totally going to believe it until she heard it from Sam.
Sam nodded again and covered her face completely with her hands, she couldn't keep her emotions bottled up any longer.
Liz quickly took the few steps around Grace and enveloped her long-lost friend in a tight embrace. "Oh, Sam! You should have told us. You didn't have to go through this alone," she cried into her friend's shoulder.
Sam's sob finally escaped, along with several others. Kelly ushered everyone standing in the doorway completely into the apartment and shut the door before the neighbors wandered into the corridor to see what was going on.
Grace was still confused about what was going on. She looked from her 'grandma' to her Aunt Kelly, trying to sort out all the new information in her head.
As soon as Liz pulled away from Sam, Sam was engulfed in a hug from Maggie. "Oh, sweetie," she cried, holding the woman who she would always consider a daughter.
Kelly took Grace's hand and led her into the living room. "Why is Mommy crying?" Grace asked, looking over her shoulder at her mom and grandma.
"Your mommy hasn't seen Grandma and Aunt Liz since before you were born, sweetie. I'm sure she's just a little overwhelmed right now," Kelly tried to reassure the little girl.
"Oh," Grace replied, still watching the women hugging each other.
Maggie pulled away and cupped Sam's tear-stained face. "We have a lot of catching up to do, young lady," she softly announced.
Sam let a small smile escape as she looked into the eyes of the older woman. "Yeah," she croaked out.
The three women walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Sam in the middle, Liz on one side and Maggie on the other. Right after Maggie sat down, she gestured for Grace to come and sit on her lap. Grace, deciding this woman was okay, climbed up and sat on her grandma's lap.
"You were pregnant when Jack got married," Liz announced the thing she had worried most about since discovering Grace was Jack's.
Sam lowered her head. "Yeah," she replied, barely above a whisper.
"Why didn't you tell us, Sam? We would have been there for you. You never should have gone through this alone," Liz cried out, grabbing her friend's hand with her own.
"I didn't know at the time," Sam replied. "I-I didn't find out until about a month later. When I went back to Florida, I decided to join Special Forces to improve my chances of getting into NASA. But, my first mission, during the physical, I found out I was pregnant, so I didn't go."
"The mission in Iraq?" Liz asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" Sam questioned, looking up at her friend.
"It was a bust. Jack went on the rescue mission, he thought you were on the botched mission," Liz announced, proud she had put all the puzzle pieces together.
"Oh, yeah, he told me he was on the rescue mission," Sam replied.
"Told you? You've talked to Jack?" Maggie asked.
Sam turned to Maggie. "Uh, yeah," she said softly, lowering her gaze to her lap. "We ran into each other during the war."
"But you didn't tell him about Grace?"
"No," Sam said sadly. Although Maggie had asked in a concerned voice, not an angry one, Sam still felt as though she were being scolded. "I planned to, but we only saw each other for a short time and before I could tell him, I was called out for a mission and when I got back, he had already been sent out with the ground troops. I haven't seen him since."
Maggie patted Sam on her leg. "Sweetheart, all you had to do was call me, I would have gotten Jack to you, and Kelly could have been helpful, too."
"I know. Kelly and I sort of had an unspoken agreement not to mention Jack," Sam said with a half-smile and looked over at Kelly sitting in the chaise lounge.
Kelly nodded her head in agreement. Since first running into Sam neither woman had ever brought up Jack. Kelly knew it was a touchy subject for Sam and didn't want to ruin the time they spent together by bringing up the man who had broken her heart.
"I'm sorry I've kept her from you. It was never my intention. I'm just….really sorry. I didn't know what else to do," Sam cried, her hands, once again, covering her face.
Maggie wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled her closer to her. "Oh, Child, don't cry. We don't blame you. None of us. You did what you thought was best. We can fix this."
The last sentence Maggie spoke got Sam's attention. She lifted her head and wiped the tears off of her face. "Fix it?" she questioned.
Maggie rubbed Sam's back with the arm she still had wrapped on her shoulder. "Of course, Samantha. There is no reason for you not to tell Jack about Grace."
"Uh, other than the fact that he already has a family!" Sam snapped, pulling out of Maggie's embrace. Her heart was beating faster just thinking about having to confront Jack about Grace.
Maggie and Liz both tossed confused looks to Kelly. "You never told Sam about Jack and Sara's divorce?" Liz accused her sister.
Kelly shrugged her shoulders and threw an equally confusing look back at Liz. "Sam just told you we never talked about Jack," she stated.
Liz shook her head in frustration and turned back to Sam. "Sam, Jack and Sara split up right after he returned from Iraq. Their divorce was just finalized before Christmas."
Sam shook her head. "No, that can't be right. He couldn't have split with Sara after Iraq. I talked to her shortly after the war ended. She said she and Jack were happy and he already knew about Grace but…." Sam suddenly stopped what she was saying, remembering that Grace was listening. The last thing she wanted to do was tell her daughter that her dad didn't want anything to do with her. "It's just, they can't be divorced."
"They are, Sam. I wouldn't lie to you," Liz told her, grabbing Sam's hand and squeezing lightly.
Sam felt her heart break even more. Jack divorced Sara. Jack divorced Sara without telling her. Sara was right, if Jack wanted Sam, he wouldn't have married Sara in the first place. He would be with Sam, and he wasn't.
"I can't believe this," Sam gasped, trying to keep from breaking down again.
"Mommy, are you okay?" Grace asked, still perched on her grandmother's lap.
"Yes, sweetheart, I'm fine, just a lot to take in at once," she said, smiling at her little girl.
"Is my dad going to come home now?" Grace asked innocently.
Sam bit her bottom lip and tried to keep her face from showing her emotions. "No, sweetie, I don't think he is."
Maggie gently patted Sam on the arm in a comforting gesture, silently agreeing to change the subject for now. The women started talking about other things and enjoyed each other's company long into the evening.
After Sam exclaimed that it was after Grace's bedtime, Maggie delightedly accepted Grace's offer to tuck her in for the night. Once in her room, Grace showed her grandma all of her old and new toys and explained which ones were her favorite and why. Maggie was already in love with the precious little girl and silently promised herself to find a way to spend as much time as possible with her adorable granddaughter.
"Grandma?" Grace started after Maggie finally had her tucked in her bed. "Can you tell me about my dad?"
Maggie looked at her granddaughter surprised. "Hasn't your Mom told you about him?"
"Yeah, a little, but it makes her sad, so I don't ask very much anymore. Plus, Jonas gets mad."
"Jonas gets mad?" Maggie repeated, concern in her voice.
"Uh-huh. Sometimes Mommy cries out 'Jack' in her sleep and Jonas wakes her up and yells at her."
"Really?" Maggie asked in surprise.
"Yup. He yells at her and tells her she's got issues and then he leaves and slams the door shut really hard and then Mommy has to clean up the mess he made and then the policemen come."
To say Maggie was even more surprised would be an understatement. "Police?" she questioned her granddaughter.
"Yup. Mrs. Cole next door calls them every time Mommy and Jonas fight. She says she gets worried 'cuz Jonas hits the walls a lot and swears real loud. She says he's disturbing the peace."
"Do you get worried?" Maggie asked, smoothing down the blanket covering Grace.
"Sometimes. I worry about Mommy because he looks so mad and yells at her really loud. And, I feel bad because I know they're fighting about my dad."
"How do you know that?"
"Cuz, Jonas is always saying 'Jack'."
"I see. Do you want to meet your dad, Grace?"
Grace's eyes shot up towards her forehead as she pondered her grandma's question. "Yeah, I do," she finally answered after a brief moment. "But, I don't know if I ever will."
"You will, I promise you that. And, do you know what is really great about Grandma promises?"
"No, what?"
"Grandma's never break their promises."
Grace grinned up at her grandma.
"Good night, Grace."
"Good night, Grandma," Grace responded before turning to her side and sticking her thumb in her mouth.
Maggie looked back at her precious granddaughter one more time before shutting the bedroom door and heading back out to the living room.
The girls were talking animatedly about something and giggling.
"You have to tell Jack about Grace. She wants to meet her dad and you can't keep them apart forever," Maggie cut in, uncharacteristically.
"I know, Maggie. I don't plan on keeping them apart forever. Just, right now, it isn't a good time. I'm working on a huge project at work and I'm marrying someone else. I can't deal with Jack right now, too."
"Marrying? You are actually going to marry someone else?" Maggie exclaimed, her voice raised slightly above normal.
"Yes, Maggie, I am. I know you have had your heart set on Jack and I getting married, but it's never going to happen."
"Samantha, how can you say that?"
"Well, with him marrying someone else when he was engaged to me, quite easily, actually," Sam replied, sarcastically.
"Samantha, you and Jack are meant to be together…" Maggie started her age-old spool.
"No, Maggie," Sam cut her off. "We're not. If we were meant to be together then we would be! I'm sorry if this disappoints you, but I am engaged to someone else, please try and understand."
"I can't, Samantha. I'm sorry, but I will always believe that you and Jack are meant to be together."
Sam lowered her head. "He married someone else, Maggie. If he loved me, he wouldn't have done that," Sam sadly replied in a quiet voice.
"Sam, Jack loves you. Yes, he has made a group of mistakes, but he has never denied that he loves you with all his heart. He wants to be with you very much."
Sam's head shot up at the last comment. "If he wanted to be with me then why isn't he? You said he left Sara right after he returned from Iraq. The war in Iraq has been over for years. Why didn't he make any attempt to get back with me after leaving Sara?"
"Sam," Liz's soft voice cut in. "He wanted to, he really did, but Sara has been a bitch since before he married her. She threatened to abort the baby if Jack didn't marry her, then shortly after the baby was born, she threatened to take him and disappear if Jack left her for you. Jack was only able to divorce her because she was cheating on him. He was worried that if he looked you up, she would do whatever she could to use it against him in the custody battle. The divorce has only been finalized for a short time, he has every intention on finding you and telling you everything. Mom is right, he does still love you with all his heart."
Sam didn't know what to think. She was so confused! Between what Sara had told her and what Jonas had yelled at her during their fights, she didn't know anymore if the love she had for Jack was returned or not. Sam felt her walls starting to crumble.
"Why? Why are you here? Why now? Why are you telling me this now? I've moved on, damnit! For the first time since I was sixteen years old I can actually go a whole day without thinking about Jack! I'm marrying someone else, for crying out loud! Why now? I can't deal with this right now! Jack married someone else. He has his own family. Grace and I have been doing just fine on our own and now when we're finally moving on with our life, you all show up and throw false hope at me again. Why?"
Sam, who had been pacing the small living room during her outburst, sat back down on the couch and burst into tears. "I just can't deal with this right now," she cried out in between sobs.
The O'Neill women embraced Sam once again, feeling her pain and confusion as if it were their own.
The rest of the weekend went by quickly. Sam and Grace spent quality-time with Maggie, Liz and Kelly. The subject of Jack was dropped for the remainder of the weekend until just before Maggie and Liz headed back to Ohio.
They were all at Kelly's house saying their good-byes when Maggie pulled Sam off into another room and closed the door for privacy. "Samantha, I know this is hard for you, but it is time to tell Jack…"
"Maggie," Sam cut her off.
"No, Samantha, I have already heard all of your excuses and quite frankly, they're not good enough." Maggie grabbed Sam's hand and set a slip of paper in it. "This is his home phone number, work number and address. You have no reason not to call him."
Sam looked at the paper and then up at Maggie with tears threatening to fall. Could she really call him? Did she really want to? What if he really did know about Grace and didn't want anything to do with her? That was the question Sam feared the most, that he wouldn't want anything to do with them.
"I'm giving you two weeks, Sam. If you haven't called him and at least arranged a proper time and place to tell him, I will," Maggie cut into Sam's thoughts.
Sam looked at Maggie in disbelief. "You'll tell him?"
Maggie looked at the young woman before her. "I will if I have to. But, I know you, Samantha. I know I won't have to. You always do the right thing."
Sam shook her head. "Not always."
"You do when it counts," Maggie announced and pulled her 'daughter' into a hug.
The women left the room and Maggie headed over to Grace to tell her only granddaughter that she would see her again as soon as possible. "Remember what I said, Grace," Maggie whispered in the little girl's ear as she hugged her good-bye. "Grandma's never break their promises."
Grace grinned at her grandma with a twinkle in her little eyes. "I love you, Grandma," she declared before kissing her on the cheek and hugging her one last time.
Sam held Grace's hand, standing next to Kelly as Maggie and Liz drove off. She was smiling and waving with her free hand, but her mind was going ballistic as she fretted over her soon-to-make phone call to Jack.
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a/n: To everyone who has taken the time to review, I just want to say thank you very much! I am so glad that so many people are enjoying this story enough to review. It means a lot to me, so once again, thank you! I'll try and get another chapter up this week! For those reading my other story; I plan on updating that one this week, too.