Chapter 8

"I cant believe it." Chuckie said. Tommy, Lil, and Chuckie were at Tommy's apartment. "You're going to have a kid."

"I know." Lil said. "I cant believe it either."

"Hey guys." Dil came in. "Whats up?"

"Guess what?" Lil asked.

"What?" Dil asked.

"Guess." Lil said.

"Um, Chuckie's actually a girl." Dil guessed. Chuckie glared at him. "What? She told me to guess."

"You're going to be an uncle." Tommy said. Dil stared at him. "Lil's pregnant."

"Oh my God! Thats awesome!" Dil yelled.

"What is?" May walked in.

"Ahhh!" Lil yelled. "Hey."

"Hi, but, whats awesome?" May asked.

"I'm going to have a baby." Lil said.

"Thats totally awesome." May said. She bent over to Tommy, "Good work." she whispered. Tommy smiled at her sarcasticlly and gave her the thumbs up.

.....

"Maybe, we should keep this to ourselves for a while." Kimi said braking the kiss.

"Why?" Phil asked.

"Well, you didn't take the whole T and Lil thing too good, so Chuckie might..."

"What? Kick my ass?" Phil asked. They stared at eachother for a moment then burst out laughing. "Yeah right."

"I know. Whoa. Okay, really, dont tell anyone." Kimi said walking out of the bedroom.

"Yeah, okay."

.....

"Hey Dougy." Tommy trotted in.

"Hey T."Doug said.

"Dont call me that, dammit." Tommy said. "Anyway, I've got good news."

"What? Tell me." Doug said.

"I'll tell ya what. I'll tell everyone." Tommy said then stood up on his stool. "I'm pregnant!" he yelled. All the people were silent staring at him. They then started gagging and going, ewww. Tommy sighed then said. "My wife's pregnant."

"Ohhh." everyone went. They then cheered.

"Yep. Hey Larry, Lil's pregnant." Tommy said as Larry walked in from the back.

"Bite me." he said.

"What did I do to him?" Tommy asked.

"Larry's been in a bad mood lately." Doug said. "His girlfriend broke up with him, lately."

"Ohhh." Tommy said.

"Yeah, Samantha will pay." Larry said.

"Yeah, Samanth-excuse me? Who?" Tommy asked.

"Samantha Shane." Larry said.

.....

"Chuckie! Chuckie! Chuckie!" Tommy ran in to his room. Chuckie was working on someone's teeth.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I've got news. Samantha was recently going out with Larry."

"Who the hell's Larry?"

"Larry. Doug's roommate."

"Doug?"

"Doug Bombardi. You know, the guy who cusses at you in Italian and stole your eraser."

"Oh yeah." Chuckie nodded. "So what? I dont care."

"But, its Larry. Your friend."

"I've never met him."

"Yes you have!" Tommy shouted. Chuckie then got up and looked at Tommy's mouth.

"Have you been flossing?"Chuckie asked. Tommy stared at him. Tommy sighed and left.

.....

On the other side of town, Lil and Kimi were shopping for clothes. "Kimi. I have news." Lil said.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"Um, I'm pregnant." Lil smiled. Kimi stared at her.

"OH MY GOD!" she jumped up and down.

"Calm down." Lil said then looked down and almost cried.

"What?"

"Its not Tommy's."

"Huh?"

"Just kidding! Tommy and I are going to be parents!" Lil yelled.

"Thank God." Kimi sighed.

"No really, its Chuckie's."

"What?"

"Just kidding again. I'm going to be a mom, and Chuckie's not going to be a dad!" Lil yelled.

"Quit that." Kimi glared at her.

.....

"Um, Phil." Tommy sat down next to Phil who was on his couch.

"Yeah?"

"I have some pretty big news." Tommy smiled.

"Yeah?"

"You're going to be an uncle."Tommy said. Phil stared at him. Tommy sighed and said, "Lil's pregnant."

"Oh my God!" he yelled. "Thats great! Almost as great as my news."

"What?"

"I'm actually in a relationship, that could last."

"Thats not better than my news. Anyway, who is it?"

"Cant tell ya, sorry."

"Well, do I know her?"

"Um, ye-"

"Kimi."

"Dammit! How'd ya guess?"

"Lucky, I guess."

"Okay, but please dont tell anyone, especially Chuckie."

"No problem."

.....

"Chuckie!" Tommy ran back in.

"Tommy, I want you to start flossing." Chuckie handed him some floss.

"Forget it." Tommy sighed and walked out.

.....

"Hey." Angelica said to a familiar face at a table.

"Hi." the man that had been flirting with her said. "By the way, I'm Jack."

"Jack." she said. "Yeah, I'm-"

"Angelica, you told me. So, you didn't call, or did you?" he asked.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" Angelica asked.

"Maybe."

"Its working." Angelica assured nodding her head. "Um, yeah, I called, but, my phone suddenly went dead."

"Oh. Really? I called back and someone else answered named Susie. Said it was working fine." Jack said. "Maybe, my charm was a little too much. Maybe I should try to be a little, less sexy."

"Oh no. No, no no. You're sexyness is quite fine, perfect, its just..." Angelica then spilled some coffee on purpose. "Oops. Look at that! Ha ha! I'm so stupid. I'll catch up with you later, Jack." Angelica ran back into the kitchen.

.....

Back at Phil's apartment, him and Tommy were playing ping pong on the counter. " So. How'd it all start?" Tommy asked.

"Well, Kimi wanted me to quit, so then she told me that she loved me, I said ditto, we kiss, you know." Phil said hitting the ball back to Tommy.

"Have you had the sex yet?"Tommy asked.

"No. But, its because of Chuckie. You know how you slept with Lil, I got mad. She thinks that he wont get as mad if we dont have sex." Phil said then missed the ball. "Dang it." he then had an idea. "Ooh. Lets do something cool."

"What?"

"Lets catch that ball on fire."

"What? No. Besides, I need a job. Gotta fly." Tommy said. Phil stared at him like he was an idiot."Thats my new thing. You know, kind of needed a lingo, or whatever."

Phil continued to stare then said, "You're a dork."Tommy rolled his eyes then left.

.....

"Lillian Pickles!" Lil's boss, Daniel came in. Lil was asleep but then jumped up.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um,-"

"Am I fired?"

"No."

'Dang.' she thought.

"Um, I was wondering if you would like to acompany me and my wife on our boat this weekend."

"Sure."

"I heard you're married so bring the man."

"You heard I'm married? My name's Lil Pickles. Does that seem natural to you?"

"No, not really, no. So, bring the male Pickles if ya want." Daniel said and walked out.

.....

Tommy, Lil, Phil, and Kimi were at the Diner enjoying their coffee. "I'm hungry." Lil said.

"Thats just one thing about being pregnant, Lil. Always hungry." Phil said.

"Then you're always pregnant."Lil sighed. "But, really, I want a steak or ribs or T-Bone."

"T-Bone is a steak, Lil." Kimi said.

"When are you gonna get fat?" Phil asked. They all stared at him. "What? I'm not being rude. I mean, its gonna be kind of obvious."

"Shut up, Phil. I'm so hungry, I could eat you, fat head." Lil said.

"That would be so cool." Phil said. They all stared at him again. "Sorry."

"Isn't it a little early to be so hungry?" Tommy asked.

"No, I think its because I haven't even ate a sandwich in like three days. I haven't eaten anything in three days." Lil said.

"Dear God, there's something wrong with this woman. She must not be related to me." Phil said. "Because, I mean, name one DeVille, that, like, goes with out eating for that long. Name ONE! ONE!"

They all stared at him again. "Phil, get out." Tommy said. Phil rolled his eyes at him.

"Lil, want to go get some food?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah." Lil answered sounding real pitiful.

"Lil, its okay." Tommy said. "You dont have to act like a baby."

"Yeah, there's one in ya for God's sake." Phil said.

"Shut up." Tommy said. "But, um, honey, I have to go to my new job, so I'm gonna leave you here with these two, okay?"

"Okay," Lil said again real pitiful. "But I wanna go with you."

"You cant, sweetie, sorry. But, you cant." Tommy said.

"Where is your new job, anyway, T?" Phil asked.

"Oh, ticket guy at the train station." Tommy said.

"What does that pay? Twenty cents an hour?" Lil jumped up and made fun.

"Lil's back to her old self." Phil said. "What fun this will be."

"Tommy, is that the best job you could get?" Lil asked. "That train station is older than your grandpa."

"Hey," Tommy said trying to think of a come back. "Um, up your's."

"My what?" Lil asked. Phil started giggling and whispered something to Tommy.

"Ewww. NO!" Tommy yelled. "What is wrong with you?" Tommy yelled at him. He then turned back to Lil. "Your butt."

"My butt?" Lil asked. "The butt you lick?"

"Eww." Phil said. "And you say I'm nasty."

"I've never licked your ass!" Tommy shouted. The place remained silent and stared at him.

"Thats gross, man." Doug said.

"I never did that!" Tommy shouted. Everyone continued staring at him. "I DIDNT!" he yelled. Everyone then went back to their buisness. "I never did that." Tommy whispered.

"You've grabbed it before." Kimi said.

"How do you know?" Tommy asked.

"Kimi and me went up the escape ladder and watched you two through the window." Phil laughed with Kimi.

"Thats gross, man." Doug said.

"Why are you still listening?" Tommy asked. Doug turned away.

"Yeah, Ive grabbed it but never licked it." Tommy said. "Infact, I've done plenty of things, but never that!"

"Like what?" Phil asked a little angry. "Have you bitten my sister's ass? Cause if you have!" Phil made a fist.

"I never have done that! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to my low paying job." Tommy snapped and marched out.