Chapter 2
One morning on the boat, about a month into their tour of duty, Berrik woke before first light to find the space next to him in the berth empty. Paine was an early riser, but they typically woke at the same time, usually after the sun had risen. He rose, dressed, and made his way out to the deck, noting as he walked that the boat had dropped anchor. They must have found the right spot for the day's salvage operation.
Paine stood at the railing, watching the first rays of sunrise, hands on the railing, perfectly still except for her short spiked hair blowing in the wind. She wore Al Bhed jumpsuit, as her typical leather attire was impractical for long days in water and sun. Berrik spent a moment just admiring her profile -- she had taken to training with her sword every day, and the results were already showing in her returned muscularity. The hard work of constant swimming and fighting underwater fiends, the fresh sea air, the change of scenery, or some combination thereof had also improved her appetite; she ate heartily now, and her frame and face both seemed fuller, less pinched. Berrik had always found Paine to be attractive, dark hair and crimson eyes contrasting with her fair skin, but she had grown even more beautiful over these past few weeks. And the distant, slightly sad expression she wore now only added to the impression.
Quietly, he approached her from behind, laying his hands on her shoulders. Startled, she whipped around. For a moment, she seemed to not really see him, looking over his head as though she were expecting him to be much taller, her eyes round and unfocused. Then her chin tipped downward, finding the correct angle to see his face, and the expression of confusion passed as quickly as it had arrived, leaving Berrik to wonder if he had imagined the whole thing.
"Hey," she said. "I woke up when we stopped moving, so I decided to come watch the sunrise." When speaking with others on the boat, Paine generally used Al Bhed, but she always slipped back into Spiran when she and Berrik were alone. She turned back to the ocean and the rapidly growing red-pink sun emerging from it. "Pretty, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Berrik moved his hands down her arms and found her hands on the rail, twining his fingers with hers.
She twisted back to look at him again, her features relaxed now. "Since we've stopped, how about an early morning swim?"
He smiled and nodded. They both stripped quickly, then jumped over the rail into the sea.
"Ahh!" Paine gasped and rubbed her arms as she started treading water, her head bobbing over the waves. "Brr."
Berrik laughed. "Colder without a wetsuit, yes? Let me warm you up."
She swam into his arms and they kissed, wrapping themselves together, each with a hand on the rungs of the ship's ladder to keep themselves above water. With his free hand, he found the smooth curve of a breast. Then he dropped his mouth to its nipple, hard with the cold, and she gasped at the feel of his warm tongue. Her own hands started to roam, and soon he was too distracted to continue ministering to her as she caressed him. A wave splashed over his head, but Berrik hardly noticed as she twisted her legs around him and pulled him inside, the heat of her contrasting with the chill of the water as they rocked in tune with the motion of the sea.
Afterwards, they separated, floating in the gentle swell of the waves. The sun was fully up now, and Berrik basked in the warmth of its rays along with the afterglow that left him feeling lazy and languid, despite the cool waters that surrounded him. He glanced over to Paine, who floated on her back, eyes closed, face turned up to the sky. Swimming closer, he took an opportunity to really examine her -- every time they'd been together these last two months, he had only seen her in the darkness of her apartment, or during moments quickly stolen in secluded corners of the boat. He took in her lean, muscular body, her small round breasts, her pearly white skin, its smoothness marred only by--
Startled, Berrik moved in for a closer look at the scar, just beneath the right breast, its rounded shape peculiar to a very specific type of injury. He was positive that he had never seen this scar before, that she had not had it during the previous season. The shock got the better of him, and before he could stop himself, the question popped out.
"Is that a gunshot wound?"
Paine convulsed, folding her body in half to hide the offending scar from his gaze as her eyes widened in terror. She immediately turned away and started to swim back to the boat, arms and legs flailing furiously in her haste to get away.
Berrik let her go. He had promised not to pry, and yet the first time he'd been presented with something unexpected, he had done just that, asking an unwanted, intrusive question. Disgusted with himself, he treaded water, giving Paine time to return to the ship. As she climbed up the ladder leading to the deck, he couldn't help but notice a larger, uglier scar on her back. A dispassionate corner of his mind noted its placement and concluded that it must mark the exit wound. Clearly, sometime in the last year, Paine had been shot, the bullet passing through her torso, apparently just missing the ribs and major organs. She was probably lucky to be alive. He watched as she gathered her clothes in her arms and, casting a panicked glance over her shoulder, fled below deck.
Once he was certain she was gone, he swam back to ship himself, forcing himself not to speculate further. He dressed quickly and made his way to breakfast, his mind on the day's planned tasks.
-x-
He didn't see her again until late that night. Immediately after the morning meal, the divers had been sent into the ocean to check out the wreckage of two ancient airships. From examining the damage both had taken, they quickly determined that the ships had felled each other in battle. One was nearly intact and might fly again with careful repairs, but the other had an enormous hole in the side, complete with scorch marks, and it would take more material than they could spare to fix it. However, this second airship was a treasure trove of scrap metal and machina parts. Taken together, these ships were the Leviathan's best find so far, and the team quickly set about stripping the one that was beyond repair. Even the preliminary stages took most of the day, and so Berrik only had half an hour before sunset to run his blitzers through a brief but intensive series of drills. Afterwards, he was starving and exhausted, so he grabbed a quick dinner and then collapsed in his bunk.
"Berrik?" The soft voice pulled him out from unconsciousness some hours later. He sat up to see Paine kneeling beside the bed, moonlight pouring through the porthole and illuminating her sober face. "Can I talk to you?"
He nodded as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then swung his feet into shoes and followed her out into the night. She was already perched on the metal deck, legs dangling over the edge. The ship remained at anchor, since it would take several more days to properly dismantle and stow the wreckage, so the breeze and the rocking of the boat were both gentle. He sat next to her and waited, silence lying thick between them.
After several minutes, Berrik couldn't stand the awkward quiet anymore, and he turned to her. "I'm sorry," he said, just as she spoke the exact same words.
They looked at one another for a second, and then both started chuckling, Paine covering her mouth with a hand and smiling.
"You first," said Berrik.
She dropped her hand and laid it on his thigh. "No, please."
He nodded with a sigh. "I didn't mean to pry," he said. "It was just so... so unexpected. I'll try not to do something like that again."
Paine's hand pressed more firmly against his leg. "And I'm sorry I overreacted like that. It was childish of me." She looked out over the water. "Yes, it is a gunshot wound. I survived. I'm still surviving. And that's all that matters." And the distant look appeared on her face again, the same one he had seen that morning. Then she leaned her head on his shoulder, and as he put an arm around her and pulled her close, he deliberately wiped all doubts and questions from his mind.
-x-
"So where are we taking all these machina parts?" Paine asked Berrik as the salvage ship pulled out of Bikanel one morning, over a week later. The crew had stripped every useful scrap from the junked airship and deposited anything that could be used in construction on the desert island. The electrical and mechanical components had remained on the Leviathan.
"First we go back to the salvage site to raise the other ship from the sea floor," he said. "Then we're taking everything to Djose." He took a bite of biscuit and followed it with a mouthful of coffee. After he had swallowed, he continued. "A group of Al Bhed moved into the old temple a few months ago, after the last of the priests cleared out. Call themselves the Machine Faction. They're taking advantage of the natural electrical currents to experiment with new kinds of machina and control systems. Don't know if anything will come of it, but Cid wants to support their efforts. So we're taking them everything mechanical. Wouldn't be useful in the early stages of rebuilding anyway. And in the meantime, they'll try to fix up the airship."
Paine leaned forward on her elbows. "Think they can get it to work?"
Berrik shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know much about their capabilities. One of the Faction members might be able to tell you more. Some of Gippal's people came aboard before we left; do you want me to..." And then Paine's expression stopped him from continuing -- she was sitting bolt upright, her face chalk white, fingers curled tightly around her coffee mug. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said, too quickly, as the color returned to her cheeks and her shoulders relaxed. "You were saying?" She lifted her mug, taking a drink, her movements just a tad too careful and slow -- Berrik had the distinct impression that, had her hands not been holding something solid, they would be trembling.
"Never mind," he replied, despite the curiosity this reaction had piqued. "It's not important. Let's get some weapons training in before the deck gets too crowded."
-x-
Between sea travel times and the effort required to raise the airship from the sea floor, it took another two weeks for the Leviathan to reach the former site of Djose Temple. The crew spent most of the journey evaluating and testing the machina parts earmarked for the Machine Faction, although Berrik got his teammates up onto the deck every day for drills, practicing passing and formations. Paine, who despite a quick mind and a lack of prejudice had almost no mechanical aptitude, would either watch the blitzers train or undertake some training of her own, either working with her sword or taking target practice. And she continued to improve in all areas -- Berrik thought she seemed stronger and more relaxed every day.
The morning of the arrival, Berrik noticed that Paine was dawdling over her morning coffee and toast. "You ready for the shore?" he asked. She had declined to leave the ship at Bikanel, pleading an extreme dislike of the island's desert climate, and he was expecting she'd be tired of the boat by now.
"I'm staying aboard," she said, not lifting her eyes from her mug. "Captain Chella asked me to help her in the hold, and I agreed."
Berrik found himself fighting back disappointment as he realized that he had been looking forward to some time alone with her -- it was easy enough to find secluded spots on the ship, but there were almost always other people within sight or earshot. "Are you sure you can't get out of it? I thought it might be nice to get off the boat, take a walk, check out the view of Mushroom Rock..."
Her voice was low as she responded, still not looking up. "I'm sure."
Holding back a sigh, Berrik stood. "Okay. See you tonight." And he left her there, motionless except for the hands silently swirling the cooling coffee.
Coming onto the deck and into the brilliant spring day, Berrik found Judda, Lakkam, and Eigaar, each with their load of machina parts ready to go. He hoisted his own pack and followed them down the gangplank.
"No Paine?" Judda asked.
"She's on special assignment for the captain," said Berrik.
Eigaar raised an eyebrow. "Your girl have some aversion to dry land we didn't know about?"
Berrik shook his head. "Back off, all right?" Eigaar flinched at the rebuke, and Berrik smoothed his tone. "If she wants us to know, she'll tell us. What, like Al Bhed never keep secrets?" Lakkam stared at the ground as Judda and Eigaar exchanged a look. No one said anything, but he knew they were thinking about their role in the summoner-protection project -- living in Luca, which all summoners passed through on pilgrimage, had made the blitzers ideal members of that particular conspiracy. "Anyway, let's go." They walked toward the temple from the dock, Machine Faction grunts passing on their way to the ship.
"Hey Judda!"
"Hi Gippal," she called out, waving to the young man who led the Machine Faction. Gippal dismissed the machinist he'd been chatting with and ambled over to the blitzers, meeting them on the bridge that led to the main temple courtyard. He greeted Judda with an enthusiastic hug, then turned to Berrik.
"You're captain of the Psyches, right?" he said as he stuck out his hand. "Gippal. Nice to meet you."
"Berrik," he replied, taking the hand and shaking it as he looked the other up and down. He only knew Gippal by reputation, but that reputation was growing steadily. A year ago, no one had ever heard of the guy. Then he'd emerged from nowhere to start up the Faction, and now he was acknowledged as one of the Al Bhed's most important young leaders. "Where do you want these?"
"Maru will show you," said Gippal, motioning to the machinist, who waited in the courtyard. "Brought us some good stuff, I hear. And an airship! Man, I've wanted to get my hands on one of those for ages."
Berrik nodded. "It's pretty exciting. I hope you can get it flying again."
"So do I." Gippal slapped Berrik lightly on the shoulder. "See you at lunch." And he headed off to take a look at his prize.
Even now, many months after the destruction of Home, every gathering of Al Bhed seemed like a family reunion -- people who hadn't seen each other since the attack connecting, sharing news of friends and family safe and lost, meetings marked by hugs and laughter and tears. Today was no exception. Berrik looked carefully over the crowd, hoping to recognize a face, and he was rewarded when a young woman emerged from the building that had once been the temple inn.
"Berrik!" she squealed, and she ran over to him, engulfing him in an enormous hug.
"Hey Jez!" He hugged his childhood friend in return, then took a step back to look at her. "When I didn't hear anything, I was worried."
"I wasn't there," she explained. "Off scouting in the desert. By the time I got back, it was all over. But Kessa..."
The elation Berrik felt at seeing Jez alive and well ebbed immediately. Kessa, her older sister, had not been nearly so close a friend, but he had still thought fondly of her. "I'm sorry."
Jez shrugged and looked away. "She was in the Summoner's Sanctum, protecting Lady Yuna and the others from the Guado. So at least she went down fighting." When she lifted her face, she was smiling again, although the joy of it had dimmed somewhat. "Anyway, how long are you here?"
"Just for the day. We're heading off to another salvage site at sundown. But we'll be here for lunch -- find me there."
Jez nodded. "For sure. Can't wait to catch up."
-x-
Berrik and the others spent the rest of the morning moving and connecting electrical equipment, checking circuits and soldering wires. By the time the sun was high in the sky, he was ready to eat, and to spend some time with Jez. Food was served in the old warrior monk encampment, and when he got there he discovered that she had already saved him a place. He acquired a tray of food, then sat, and soon the two of them were swapping stories of the last year -- Berrik exaggerating the exploits of the blitz team, Jez waxing enthusiastic about the new discoveries the Machine Faction had been making.
"And we're negotiating with that new group, the Youth League," she said, taking a bite of fruit. "Their leader is some big-shot former Crusader, fellow named Nooj. Gippal had this idea that he might be receptive to using guns, so we've been talking. Well, Gippal and Nooj never meet directly. Supposedly there's some weird history between them, so it's all go-betweens. But I gather negotiations are going well."
Berrik raised an eyebrow. "So you're taking sides?"
Jez lifted her shoulders and shook her head. "Not intentionally. We'd sell weapons and machina to Bevelle, but they won't talk to us. Their leader-- what's his name again?" she asked, turning to the man sitting on her right.
"Trema," he said.
"Trema, right," Jez echoed, before turning back to Berrik. "Anyway, he sends back our messengers unreceived, so we assume they're not interested. Their loss. Since they're pretty much just hiding out in Bevelle, it seems pretty safe to ignore them. The Youth League have set up their headquarters at Mushroom Rock, practically next door, so we'd have to deal with them anyway. Might as well be as business partners, right?" She laughed and leaned over the table, grinning at Berrik. "But enough politics! Tell me about this rumor that you've taken up with some Spiran chick."
"How did you know about that?" Berrik asked.
Jez laughed again, swatting her friend's arm. "Oh, please," she said. "No one can remember the last time a Spiran hired on with an Al Bhed salvage ship. You, my friend, have been the subject of a bit of gossip. So come on, tell me about her. She's a recorder in Luca, right? What's her name?"
"Paine," Berrik replied. "She-- Ow!" Something sharp had slammed into his temple, something that felt like the corner of a tray, and he turned around to see who was carrying the offending object. Much to his surprise, it was Gippal, who stood there with his mouth hanging open and his face pale with what looked suspiciously like shock.
Then Gippal backed away, laughing. "Whoops. Sorry, man, wasn't watching where I was going," he said casually, an easy joking expression returning to his face.
Berrik might have dismissed the accident, even chalked it up to coincidence, but for one thing: Paine's own strong reaction to hearing Gippal's name for the first time. He stood up, laid a firm hand on Gippal's shoulder and looked straight into his face. "Is everything all right?" he asked.
"Sure. Like I said, I just wasn't paying attention. My apologies." Gippal started to turn away.
But Berrik was not letting this go. He had agreed to respect Paine's privacy, but he'd made no such deal with Gippal; there was nothing to lose by attempting to get some answers. In one fluid movement, he stepped in front of Gippal, blocking the path to the exit. "I don't believe you," he responded, quietly.
Gippal glanced around him, then sighed under his breath. "All right," he said. "Walk with me." He stabilized the tray and went to deposit it with the other dirty dishes, Berrik following a step behind after casting an apologetic glance to Jez, who waved him off with an understanding, if curious, smile. The two men headed away from the mess hall and back toward the temple.
After a moment of walking in silence, Gippal stopped short, then glared at Berrik, a gleam of anger in his single eye. "Look," he said. "I don't know you, and I'm not about to go spilling things I haven't even told my closest friends. All right? I just didn't want to make a scene in there. So whatever ideas you had about true confessions..."
Berrik stopped him with a raised hand. "I don't care about your life story. I just want to know whether you know Paine."
"Tall girl, dark gray hair, red eyes? Yeah, I know her." Gippal glanced to the sky. "So, she's with you then. How is she?"
Berrik shrugged. "Fine. Still recovering from whatever it was that happened to her, but basically fine."
Gippal's shoulders relaxed a little, although his expression remained distant. "Good, that's good." Then he looked at Berrik sharply. "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
"Well, it's pretty obvious that she's been through some sort of trauma. We were involved before, see, during the previous blitz season. Then she disappeared, and when she came back she wasn't the same. She won't talk about it, but..." Berrik shook his head. "I'm a little worried about her, to be honest. That's why I was hoping that you could tell me something that might help me help her. I'm not trying to pry into your affairs. Paine is all that matters here."
"Hmm." Gippal fell silent for another moment, then asked a question. "Has Paine ever mentioned anyone called Nooj to you?"
"No," said Berrik, punctuating the answer with another headshake. "I never heard that name until a few minutes ago, when Jez mentioned him."
"Ah." The other man looked away, absently rubbing at his shoulder. "Never mind then." He seemed to wrestle with his thoughts for a few moments. Caught, perhaps, in a struggle with some inner demon. Berrik had seen Paine lost in thought just like this, and he wondered now whether her demons were the same. When Gippal finally spoke again, the sound of his voice was almost a shock.
"Sorry," he said. "But I can't tell you. Paine has her reasons for not talking, and I have mine. But I really am glad to hear that she's okay. Can you tell her that-- tell her..." The sentence trailed off, and he looked around again, as though he might find the perfect words etched into the side of the Djose cliffs. Then he sighed. "Aw, fuck it. Just tell her I miss Dr. P, okay?"
"I will," Berrik answered. But Gippal had already turned to walk away, and only his back heard the reply.
-x-
Back on the ship that evening, Berrik found Paine curled up in their bunk, dozing. When he sat on the corner, she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "How was your day?" she asked.
"Interesting," he replied. Part of him was reluctant to disturb her peace, but he also knew that he couldn't sit on his knowledge, or the message, for another moment. Normally Berrik was a patient man, but even he had his limits. "I met an old friend of yours."
"Oh?" Paine rolled over on her back, suddenly stiff.
Berrik nodded. "Gippal says hello. And to tell you that he misses Dr. P."
Her head snapped toward his, expression hard and inscrutable. Then she covered her face with her hands and turned away. He could see her shoulders rising and falling with deep jagged breaths, and he wondered if she was laughing. Or sobbing. Perhaps somewhere in between. He laid a tentative hand on her back, and she shook him off.
"Paine?"
"Go away," she said, the words muffled. "Just... leave me alone for a little while."
He nodded, then remembered that she couldn't see him. "All right," he said. And he headed for the deck, searching for a place to be alone with his confusion.
He settled into a nook between the crane and the railing, watching the boat pull away from the Djose shore as the sun fell behind the bluffs. It wasn't long before Paine joined him there, tucking herself into his side, admiring the view in silence. He glanced over to her and watched the orange rays of the setting sun catch her eyes and play over her pale, delicate skin, only slightly toughened by the months on the boat. Warmed by the sight, he wrapped his arm about her shoulders and pulled her even closer.
Darkness fell, and soon stars began appearing overhead, the sounds of the boat's motor and of the waves splashing up against the sides of the ship filling the night air. The crane provided partial shelter from the wind, but Berrik could still feel it against his face and blowing through his hair. He was just starting to think about finding the warm cabin, and perhaps some dinner, when Paine spoke.
"Have you ever been betrayed?" she asked. "Betrayed, suddenly and for no apparent reason, by someone who you thought loved you?"
"No." He looked down at the woman nestled under his arm, who did not look back; instead, she continued to stare out to sea, blank face hiding what he thought must be a tempest of emotion, and he felt a surge of anger at whoever had hurt her. "What did Gippal..."
"Not Gippal," she interrupted. "He's just-- we weren't-- I can guess what you're thinking, and no. But... there is a connection. That's why I stayed on the boat. He's-- I'm-- it's too hard."
She fell silent then, and Berrik fought an overpowering urge to ask more questions. If it wasn't Gippal, then who? Was it this Nooj? Someone else entirely? Suddenly he remembered the scar on her chest, and not asking about a possible connection was even more difficult. Despite the rushing wind, the air around them seemed very still, thick with some sort of spell woven by her words, and it seemed to Berrik that if he said just the right thing, the dam she had built to hold back her past might burst. Then she would show him her wounds, and maybe he could finally help her begin to heal them.
Then Paine sighed and shifted, and the moment was gone, slipping away as if it had never been.