Skywalker Apartment, Coruscant. 32ABY
Few things frustrated Mara Jade Skywalker like the morning antics of her son. Unfortunately, Ben had not inherited her sense of personal discipline, having little to no concept of the phrase on time. In fact, Mara rather thought he enjoyed dragging out every possible moment and creating every possible problem for her in the morning rush. Mara herself had never really grown out of the routine she employed while in the service of the Emperor. She had every moment planned to the second, ensuring she made it to her destination exactly on time. Too early or too late had always been unacceptable.
The trouble was, Ben was a variable that could not be tamed.
Her five-year old son sat on the couch, grinning adorably at her while he attempted to tie the laces on his small boots. A quick check to her chrono confirmed that they had no hope of making it to the Jedi Temple in time for their appointment with Tionne. Not that the gentle-hearted Jedi would mind the delay, it was simply that punctuality was something Mara asked from those around her and demanded no less of from herself.
Mara's fingers twitched and she moved purposefully towards her son.
"No, Mama", Ben cried indignantly. "Can do it myself. Uncle Han showed me".
Mara mentally cursed that blasted Corellian and the patented Skywalker stubbornness in one thought. Gently lowering herself to her knees, she faced her son at eye-level. "We're late, Ben" she said as calmly as she could. She would not let her voice betray her frustration. That was what he wanted. Like his father, Ben seemed to revel in seeing her on edge.
"Can do it myself" he repeated, refocusing his attention on his small feet.
Mara sighed and leaned back on her haunches. She felt loathe to give in to him so easily, but arguing would simply take more time she didn't have.
She sat and waited, struggling not to wince at the mess Ben seemed to be creating. Han, unfortunately, had taught him the Corellian method for tying his laces, which, of course, made the action ten times more complicated than it needed to be. Mara promised herself to thank Han in her own special way for that.
The seconds ticked by and Mara found herself fidgeting with the twin beaded necklaces that laced around her neck to keep her fingers occupied. She had never been one for jewellery, any accessories, really. Her blaster and her lightsaber was all she had ever needed. But she had taken to wearing the necklaces for sentimental, rather than aesthetic, value. They had been a gift from Luke, early in the Vong invasion. In that time of indecision and uncertainty, he had found it therapeutic to work with his hands again. He had carved the small, individual beads himself, from the purplish-brown wood of the Massassi trees on Yavin IV. It was comforting, he had told her, to feel something corporeal, to feel the bark and knife in his hands, to take his mind off the answers that were not so easily grasped.
She had also guessed, that, in part, the gesture had been a consolation for the loss of his first gift, the Jade Sabre, although she had never said so. Mara knew the loss of the ship he had personally designed had wounded him as much as it had her. Since the war had ended, she had worn the beads religiously. It had, however, promoted the awkward habit of fidgeting, something she never would have allowed in her younger days. It was just one of the small allowances she had made in her life. Like indulging her son and his bizarre internal chrono, like allowing Luke to sleep with his arms around her.
"Done!" Came the exclamation from Ben, as he beamed proudly at her. Mara took in the tangled mess of laces that adorned Ben's boots. They were tied…more or less.
Too often, more or less was all she could afford to settle for.
"When can I fly, Mama?" Ben crawled energetically out of the passenger seat of Mara's speeder and leapt to the ground below.
Mara herself made a more dignified exit. "When I'm too old to", she replied in a tone that didn't warrant argument. The thought of her son speeding recklessly through the Coruscant traffic was not one she wished to entertain anytime soon. Brushing her fingers hastily through her hair, Mara quickly did the same for Ben, pushing his windswept locks back from his face. It was then that she noticed a small, suspicious looking blue patch on the shoulder on his nylar tunic.
"Ben, what is this?" she asked, grabbing the offending fabric between her fingers.
"Breakfast?" His face was the holo of innocence.
"Well, how did it get there?" She clutched the fabric tighter, as if the stain would disappear by her sheer will and force.
Ben shrugged. "I just drank my milk like you told me, Mama".
Mara fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I meant how did it get on your…never mind". She abandoned her line of questioning, knowing she would yield no answers from the boy. "Maybe I can find a change of clothes in the Temple" she murmured. One thing Mara could not seem to shed was her fastidiousness. The small, almost indistinguishable stain made Ben seem altogether dishevelled.
"No one'll know. You can't see it" Ben pouted.
"I'll know, Ben". Mara sighed. "Alright, come on" she conceded, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the ziggurat base of the temple. The new Jedi base was largely inspired by the temple plans of the Old Jedi Order, which had been uncovered by historians in the years before the Vong war. Building a similar structure for the New Order had been the idea of Chief of State Omas, one which both Mara and Luke had reservations about. Luke especially had disliked the five spires jutting out from the base, thinking it too ostentatious and perhaps sending a negative symbol of Jedi supremacy to the general populance. Mara had been inclined to agree.
Cal Omas, however, had garnered public support for a symbolic link to the Old Republic and its Knights, a throwback, as Omas garnered it, to history and future posterity. He was, after all, a politician at his core, and he knew exactly how to sway the Council to his way of thinking. That was fine, in Mara's opinion, as long as his influence stopped at the design stage and went no further into the affairs of Jedi training.
Of course, one of the other downsides to the new Jedi Temple was the three hundred-odd stairs that lead to the entrance. Of course there were turbolifts for other people wishing to enter, but Mara couldn't allow such a dent in her pride as to be seen taking the easy way out. The climb itself was not difficult for a Jedi, but having a child in tow complicated the matter greatly.
As soon as they reached the base of the stairs, Ben's arms shot up in a silent demand to be carried. But Mara simply gave a gentle tug on the hand still clenched beneath her fingers. "You're old enough to climb yourself now, Ben" she told him firmly, taking the first step. There was a rush of elation when he dutifully followed.
Their pace was slow, the steps too wide for Ben to take in one stride, and Mara more than once felt the urge to sweep him into her arms and make the job easier on both of them. But if there was one thing Leia had taught her about child-rearing, it was to stand firm.
It wasn't long, however, before Ben started puffing heavily beside her. "Mama, I'm ti-red" he whined, turning what appeared to be a tear-filled gaze towards her. Mara reminded herself to have a talk with the younger Solo's about teaching Ben bad habits. She just knew the twins had let her son in on all of their persuasive parent-bending techniques.
"Just a little longer, Ben" she soothed him. As tempted as she was to show him how to use to Force to assist in the climb, she firmly believed that he needed to be a person first, and then a Jedi. Ben had to learn his limitations, without using the Force as a crutch.
Unfortunately, Ben didn't see it that way, if his pouting lower lip was anything to go by. Mara was relived when they finally reached the entrance, only to find a harried-looking Tionne hurrying towards them. Ben ran towards her, and fastened himself around her calves, giggling with delight. Tionne's movement constricted by this action, she bent down as best she could to regard the small boy. "Hello, Ben" she cooed. "Did you climb up here all by yourself?"
"Yep!" Ben grinned at her. "Easy as bantha pie".
"I'm sure" Tionne regarded him solemnly. "Hello, Mara" she said, straightening herself.
"Sorry about the time Tionne". Mara shook her head. "It's been one of those mornings, and with Luke off force knows where…"
"That's alright" the Jedi smiled gently at her. "I tried you on the comm, but there was no answer, so I assumed you were already on your way. And" she added as Ben untangled himself from her legs. "I remember what this one is like. You haven't been causing trouble for your mother, have you Ben?" she raised a fine, white eyebrow.
"Nuh, uh" Ben replied, returning to Mara and curling a hand around her knee. "Auntie Leia says I'm an angel".
"She doesn't have to live with you" Mara muttered under her breathe, so that Ben wouldn't hear.
Tionne smiled and gestured towards the Temple entrance. "I thought we'd just go to my office" she said.
Mara consented. She had her own office, of course, adjourning Luke's, but she had yet to set foot in it. She unfastened Ben's hand from his vice grip on her knee and followed Tionne into the Temple. Her office, she knew, was on a higher level and she felt Ben wince when they came to another set of stairs.
"Mama". He tugged on her tunic.
"Alright, Ben, I'll carry you" she conceded. He had, after all, handled the main steps with little complaints.
"You promised we'd go see the water". He turned his grey eyes towards her. She had always considered Ben's eyes to be the carbon-copy blue of Luke's but she had found that when he was distressed or angry, the shade darkened to a misty grey. In Mara's experience, it was not a good sign.
"The water?" Tionne questioned, coming to a stop.
Mara sighed. "The Room of a Thousand Fountains" she explained. It was indeed a fascinating sight, located underground just beneath the Temple itself. A living jungle, complete with flowers, plants, animals and the most magnificent waterfalls she had ever seen. She had, unwisely it seemed, captivated Ben by descriptions of it. "I said I'd show it to him".
"You promised, Mama" he said, crossing his arms stubbornly. And – oh Force, out came that bottom lip again.
"Sweetie, I'll take you after I talk with Tionne. We have very important things to discuss". They didn't really, but Ben had distracted her long enough that morning.
The lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears – real, this time. She should have expected that. For some reason, close contact with so many Force-sensitives always made Ben more emotional. She would have to talk to Luke on how to control that.
"Maybe one of the students can take him" offered Tionne, seeing the child's distress.
"I don't think that's a good…Ben!" she cried as his small hand was yanked from hers. Whirling around, Mara saw that Ben had already disappeared.
"Is he still doing that?" Tionne asked, searching the room for him with her keen eye.
"He hasn't done it before with me" Mara shot back.
The Administrator sighed. "He used to do this in the Maw. When he got upset, he would run off and hide. Kam and I assumed he didn't want to share his hurt with anybody". Mara didn't miss the surreptitious glance. She knew what Tionne was thinking. Ben was her son, alright. "It was usually after you and Luke left" she added quietly.
"Well I don't plan on leaving him alone to sulk in this place". Closing her eyes, Mara reached out for Ben's familiar presence. "He's heading down through the left wing. Probably trying to find the gardens".
"That is the most direct route" Tionne agreed. "Would you like me to accompany you?"
"No". Mara pinpointed the small figure in her mind, racing down the stairs. Sith, he was fast. "I'll meet you in your office".
"I will be there all day, Mara". Tionne placed a delicate hand on her arm. "Take all the time you need". Mara understood the unsaid implication. Take the time to be with your son.
The guilt stabbed her quietly as Mara made her way down towards the Room of a Thousand Fountains, following Ben closely. She had missed out on so much of Ben's childhood, so many of his early years. She hadn't realised that her absence had hurt Ben so much. But then, like his mother, he was very good as keeping his feelings to himself. How many times had she run away, hiding inside herself, trying to become numb to the pain?
Ben often had serious mood swings, from ecstatically happy to solemn and introverted. He swung between the two extremes, and it was often difficult to pinpoint exactly what was going to set him off.
Mara didn't know if it was his genetics that were to blame. After all, she was known to have abrupt changes in mood herself. Not to mention Luke's often precarious swinging from the Jedi Master to the Farmboy. On the other hand, none of them had been untouched by the Vong war. Ben was no exception. He spent years with only fleeting moments with his parents, had felt multiple deaths through the Force, not to mention growing up in the aftermath of a war-ravaged galaxy.
Whatever it was, Mara vowed to spend as much time as possible with her son, with her family. Love, as she had discovered many years before, could cure almost anything.
Sweet, humid air assaulted Mara's nostrils as she entered the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The wild jungle and heat almost reminded her of Yavin IV. Unwittingly, Mara touched the beads around her neck. Almost.
But taking in the beauty of the cavern was not what she was there for. Mara ran hurriedly through the set path, brushing past the foliage that blocked her way. Ben was close now…but she could feel that he was alone, and not in danger. Curiosity and wonder emanated from him. Still, she would feel better when she had him in her arms.
Mara pushed a strain of Splinter Fern out of her way. There he was, sitting quite happily on a smooth rock, next to a comfortable-looking patch of Naboo swamp moss. But Mara felt her heart constrict as she saw the woman kneeling in the grass beside him.
Shock paralysed her for a few moments, unwilling or unable to believe her own eyes. Mara took in the woman's long, malt hair that fell in soft waves over her shoulders. The elegance with which she held herself, her long legs crossed under herself, her back perfectly straight and poised. The severe curve of her high cheekbones, covered in pale, smooth skin. And finally, the stormy grey eyes. Mara reached out with the Force, and felt nothing…no, less than nothing. She felt an absence in the Force. That confirmed Mara's darkest suspicions.
Sitting quietly chatting to her son, was Callista Ming.