Chapter 24

It's been a long time since I've updated so I finally did. Hope you guys haven't forgotten about it so please read, review, and enjoy.

Tommy ran into the room that Chuckie was in to see him doing jump-and-jacks. Once Chuckie saw him, he screamed and jumped into the bed.

"I thought you broke your arm." Tommy glared at his friend.

"Uhhhhh." Chuckie looked around. "Fine! I admit it!"

"Admit what, exactly?"

"I just didn't want to be in the wedding. I got no problem attending it, I just don't wanna be the best man or usher or anything like that."

"How come?" Tommy asked eagerly. "Didn't you have fun being my best man?"

Chuckie just stared at Tommy for a moment then said, "Truth?"

"Yes."

"No." Chuckie shook his head. "No. No fun what so ever."

"What?" Tommy yelled. "Why not?"

"Too much responsibility." Chuckie sighed.

"But responsibility is what you're good at." Tommy grinned.

"I know." Chuckie sighed again. "But, not this kind. I just...don't want to do it."

"So you purposely put yourself in a car wreck to get out of it?" Tommy asked.

"No, of course not." Chuckie shook his head. "I know one of the doctors."

"Really?" Tommy asked. "So, what? You bribed him?"

"No." Chuckie shook his head. "He just put me in this room, gave me a cast, and told everyone I was in a car wreck."

"What's his name?" Tommy asked.

"Hello." a man walked in.

"Tommy, this is Doctor Wallace." Chuckie introduced his friend.

"Hello, Tommy." Wallace grinned at Tommy.

"Hi." Tommy shook his hand. "Hey, have we met?"

"Uh, no." Wallace shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Hm." Tommy nodded. "Okay. Hey Wallace."

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a snake? You look like a snake person."

"Nah," Wallace shook his head. "I've thought about it, though. Bye." And Wallace left the room.

"Hey Chuck." Tommy turned back to Chuckie.

"Yeah?"

"I'm Z's best man now."

"Get out of it." Chuckie said. "I'm telling you, it's a hard job."

"I don't like hard jobs."

"You gotta keep up with the ring." Chuckie said. "That was a hard one. Did you know that I lost your's during the bachelor party? I accidently put it in a muffin and Doug ate it. Phil and I rushed him to the emergency room."

Tommy was just glaring at Chuckie. "My ring was in Doug's stomach?"

"Colon, actually." Chuckie nodded. "Don't worry, T, at least you're not wearing it. Heh heh."

Tommy continued to glare at Chuckie then changed the subject. "Anyway, Chuckie," he glared at Chuckie one more time, "Should I get out of it?"

"I don't know." Chuckie shrugged. "I mean, alot of guys love to be a best man, but that's just me."

"I'm so sorry, Z." Tommy said into the phone. "I know. No. No. Yes. You know it, buddy. No, I'm pretty sure that if you have gonorrhea, you can't be a best man. Okay, bye." Tommy then hung up the phone and looked over to Lil who was glaring at him and sitting on his couch.

"You honestly think he's gonna believe that you have gonorrhea?" Lil asked still glaring at him.

Tommy smiled and sat down next to her. He chuckled, "Lillian, I don't even know what gonorrhea is. I just heard it on TV."

"Well, Thomas, I happen to have a dictionary in my purse." Lil grinned and reached down on the floor and pulled up her very big bag.

"Gosh, Lil, what all you got in there?"

"Lots." Lil smiled pulling out a dictionary and opening it, conveniently on the correct page. "Let's see. Ah ha. Here it is. Gonorrhea: A venereal disease involving inflammatory discharge from the urethra or vagina." Lil grinned again and returned the book to her purse.

Tommy stared at Lil with his eyes and mouth wide open. Lil smiled out of success and patted him on the cheek then got up off the couch and left his apartment.

Tommy got up and sighed, "Crap."

"Damn!" Phil yelled running into the diner. He then stopped and looked around to see it empty. "Hello?" he called out. He shrugged and left and head towards Tommy's apartment.

He ran in and yelled, "Damn!"

"Crap! Crap! Crap!" Tommy was yelling running all over the apartment.

"What is it, T?" Phil asked putting his hand on Tommy making him stop.

"I have gonorrhea." Tommy said.

Phil quickly jerked his hand off Tommy's shoulder and stepped back. "Dude, you got a vagina?"

"No, but I got a urethra." Tommy shrugged. "But, not really."

"You don't have a urethra?" Phil asked stepping back again.

"No, retard!" Tommy shouted. "I don't have gonorrhea! I just don't want to be the best man."

"Hey Phil!" Z ran in.

"Oh, my gonorrhea!" Tommy yelled, grabbed his stomach, and ran into the bathroom.

"Um, okay." Z said oddly. "Um, Phil, I'm glad I caught you. Chuckie's been in a car wreck, Tommy has a disease, can you be my best man?"

"No." Phil shook his head as he took a bite of an apple that was laying on the kitchen table.

Tommy then came out and glared at Phil. "Phil, that apple is, like, three years old."

"Three years?" Phil chuckled then realized the apple tasted very bad. "Crap." Phil threw the apple on the ground and yelled, "Why the hell do you have a bad apple on the kitchen table?"

"I dunno." Tommy shrugged innocently.

"Phil!" Z yelled. "Why won't you be my best man?"

"Oh fine." Phil sighed. "I'll do it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Yeah, it's not like you're an irresponsible jerk who'd lose the ring. Ha ha!" Z chuckled. "Or sleep with a bride's maid! Ha ha ha!"

"Heh heh." Phil nodded.

"So, Tommy, how's the pain with the gonorrhea?" Z asked Tommy.

"On again, off again." Tommy shrugged. Phil snorted as he almost laughed at Tommy's reply. Tommy turned to glare at him and Z looked at him odd and shrugged.

"Thanks guys for coming." Susie smiled at all of her friends who had come to dinner with her, except Tommy and Chuckie, so it was only Phil, Lil, May, Angelica, Kimi, and Z.

"Why didn't Tommy and Chuckie come?" May asked.

"Tommy has gonorrhea and Chuckie has a broken arm." Z said.

Phil and Lil both caught themselves before they laughed at Z's reply. Z looked at them odd then followed the others into the fancy restaraunt.

"So, Suse, first album, eh?" Phil asked Susie as they all sat down at a table.

"Yeah." Susie nodded. "I mean, I've performed at many concerts and junk like that. But, tomorrow, Susie Sings the Blues, CD, will be on the shelves for the public."

"Why is it called, 'Susie Sings the Blues?'" Lil asked.

"Catchy, I thought." Susie shrugged.

The waiter then walked up to them and asked, "What will you be having for your drinks?"

"Wine!" Susie yelled. "For all of you!"

"No thanks, Susie." May shook her head. "I don't drink alchohol. Water will be fine for me."

"Okay." the waiter replied and walked away.

"You know," Susie said, "Not only can we celebrate me tonight, but tonight let us celebrate Kimi and Z's wedding."

"Next week." Kimi smiled.

"You know, I always thought Chuckie would be the first to get married." Angelica said.

"Yeah, but instead, Tommy married that slut first." Lil rolled her eyes.

"You know what else we can celebrate?" May asked. "Phil's promotion."

"What?" Phil turned to her.

"You got promoted?" Lil asked her brother.

"Uh, not exactly." Phil said. "I actually got fired."

"You told me promoted." May glared at her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry if you heard promoted, but I clearly said fired." Phil smirked.

The waiter then brought them their drinks and asked, "Are you ready to order?"

Tommy and Chuckie began laughing hysterically at the TV. They were watching 'Kids Say the Darndest Things'. They were sitting in Tommy's apartment, on the couch. Light out, popcorn in hand, and the TV on.

"Man," Tommy smiled as he stopped laughing. "Those kids."

"Yep." Chuckie nodded. "They really do say the darndest things."

"Want a another beer?" Tommy asked standing up.

"Sure." Chuckie nodded.

Tommy grabbed two beers from the fridge. He gave one to Chuckie and kept one. They both opened them and Tommy sat back down on the couch. Tommy then turned to Chuckie.

"Hey Chuck! How's the broken arm?" he asked about to burst out laughing.

"Good. How's the gonnorhea?" Chuckie asked.

The two stared at eachother for a second then burst out laughing. Just then, they heard the door handle rattling like someone was trying ot get in.

"Hurry Chuck!" Tommy shouted quietly. "Get the cast on! I'll get to the bathroom!"

"Guys!" they heard Dil's voice. "It's Dil! Let me in!"

"Oh, it's just Dil." Chuckie sighed as Tommy opened the door for his brother.

"Why was the door locked?" Dil asked. "Hey. Aren't you supposed to have gonnorhea? And Chuckie, aren't you supposed to be in a cast?"

"Yep." Chuckie nodded taking a big gulp of his beer.

"Wait." Dil said. "You're not sick are you?" he pointed to Tommy.

"Negatory." Tommy grinned.

"And you wasn't in a car wreck, was you?" Dil pointed to Chuckie. Chuckie smiled and shook his head. "Cool." Dil smiled. "Can I play?"

"Play?" Tommy asked. "We're not playing, Dil."

"So?" Dil shrugged. "Come on, let me do it too."

"Well, what's gonna be wrong with you, Dil?" Tommy asked sarcastically. "Aliens probed ya?"

"Fine." Dil grunted. "I won't have fun with you guys. But, the wedding's in four days so get ready!"

It was the morning of the wedding day. Lil was doing Kimi's hair in her apartment. Angelica and Susie were also there.

"Thanks for doing my hair, Lil." Kimi smiled.

"Not a problem." Lil smiled back. "I am the maid of honor." Lil said glancing over to Angelica and Susie who seemed jealous.

"Hey, where's the guys?" Angelica asked.

"I think they took Z to the church to get ready." Susie answered.

"Sure was convienent that you guys got better on this very day." Z said to Tommy and Chuckie. They smiled nervously and nodded.

The guys,(Z, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Dil), were at the diner, all with beers in their hands.

"I didn't know you served beer, Doug." Dil said to Doug.

"Only on special ocations." Doug replied. "By the way, thanks for inviting me to the wedding." he said sarcastically to Z then walked off.

"Oops." Z grinned nervously. "Um, anyway, we need to go. Let's get ready for my wedding!"

Later...

Just a few hours to go. Lil, Angelica, and Susie were in Kimi's dressing room at the church looking at her in her dress.

"Kimi." Lil shook her head. "You're almost too beautiful."

"Thanks." Kimi smiled.

"Not more beautiful than me but you know. Still pretty darn beautiful." Lil nodded.

Kimi looked at her odd, not knowing what to say so she said, "Uhh, thanks, I guess."

"Guys," Angelica said, "I'll be right back."

Angelica walked out and headed towards the bathroom. When she opened the door, she shrieked to see Z making out with a girl. "Ah!" she screamed.

"Angelica?" Z quit kissing the girl, who blushed and ran out. "Um."

"You bastard." Angelica glared at him. "How could you?"

"Let's just keep this to ourselves, shall we?" Z smiled and walked out but Angelica grabbed the back of his shirt and drug him back in. She closed and locked the door. "Heh heh, whatcha doin, Ange?"

"Only my friends can call me Ange." Angelica said. "Unless you had a good reason for kissing that girl, I will literally kill you."

"No you won't." Z smiled nervously.

"Wanna bet?" Angelica asked looking him in the eye.

"Uhh, no."

"Why did you kiss that girl. Aren't you in love with Kimi?"

"Yes I'm in love with Kimi."

"Then why were you-"

"I don't know! I just-hell, I just can't comitt."

"What are you saying exactly, Z?"

"When you tell her for me, make it sound good on me. Please." Z sighed and walked out the door. Angelica watched him leave and took a deep breath.

She walked back into the dressing room. All the girls were still in there.

"Yo, Phil!" Chuckie, who was wearinga very nice tuxedo, ran up to Phil who was smoking a cigarette in the hall, who also just had jeans and a t-shirt on. "Phil, you don't smoke."

"I'm just really stressed." Phil sighed putting the cigarette out on an ash tray next to him.

"And why aren't you dressed?"

"What? You gotta dress up for these kind of things?"

"You dressed up for Tommy's wedding."

"Oh yeah." Phil nodded. "Chuckie, I don't know if I can do this. I think I'm just gonna go home."

"Why can't you do this?"

"Just can't."

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

"Yes." Phil sighed sitting down on the floor. Chuckie smiled and sat down next to his friend.

"Phil," Chuckie started but then saw Z running down the hall. He completely passed the two, ignoring them. "Where's he going? Z!"

"Chuckie?" Z turned around. "Uh, gotta go!"

"No wait!" Chuckie shouted but Z kept going. "What's he doing?"

"Maybe running from the wedding?" Phil suggested.

Suddenly, Chuckie and Phil heard Kimi crying. They ran to her room and ran in. Kimi was sobbing with the girls next to her.

"What's wrong?" Chuckie asked.

"Z ran out on Kimi." Angelica sighed.

"I hate him!" Kimi yelled. "And I'm changing out of this stupid dress!" she said and walked into the bathroom to change.

"What happened?" Phil asked.

"I caught Z making out with another girl in the bathroom." Angelica said. "Then he said he was leaving and for me to tell her."

"Kimi?" Chuckie knocked on the bathroom door. "You've been in there for six hours. Are you coming out?"

"No!" she shouted back.

Chuckie sighed and sat down with Phil, Lil, Angelica, and Susie.

"Wassup?" Tommy ran in and cheered.

The others turned to him and glared.

"What?" he shrugged innocently. "What's going on?"

"Where have you been the last six hours?" Lil asked angrily. "Aiding to your gonnorhea?"

"Did you not have gonnorhea?" Angelica asked.

"Uhh." Tommy looked at them nervously. "Chuckie was never in a car wreck!"

"Hey!" Chuckie jumped up. "You jerk!"

"Neither of you guys were disabled from being best man?" Susie asked.

"No." Chuckie shook his head as Tommy nodded.

Kimi then walked out, her make-up smeared across her face, tears still coming out slowly, and was now wearing jeans and a sweat shirt.

"What?" Tommy looked at her and then chuckled. "No wedding?"

Kimi looked at him and burst into tears again, running back into the bathroom, locking it. The others turned to him and glared at him.

"What'd I do?" he asked.

Four more hours later...

"How long have when been in here?" Phil asked with a pillow over his face.

"Ten hours." Chuckie looked at his watch. "It's midnight."

"Hey." Tommy said, "Where's Dil?"

"And do you take Jonathon Hale as your husband?"

"I do."

Dil's eyes were wide open as he stood behind the best man at someone's wedding. "I think I'm at the wrong wedding."

"Kimi?" Chuckie knocked on the bathroom door again. "You okay?"

"Go away." he heard.

Chuckie sighed and went back to the rest and sat down. At that moment, Dil rushed in.

"Where have you been?" Lil asked.

"Wrong freakin' wedding." Dil sighed sitting down on the floor. "One of those midnight weddings. They started doing it before he actually declared them husband and wife."

"Cool." Phil grinned.

"Hey, did I miss it?" Dil asked.

"Z ran out on Kimi." Angelica said. "She's been in there for ten hours straight."

"Except that small minute where Tommy made her even more miserable." Lil glared at Tommy again who just shrugged.

Kimi walked out, took a second to glare at Tommy, then sat down next to Chuckie. "I wanna go home." she mumbled.

"Okay." Chuckie nodded. "Let's go."

They walked out and outside to the cars. "Ah crap." Chuckie said. "Could someone run back inside and grab my cell phone?"

"Sure." Lil smiled running back in.

"When did you get a cell phone?" Phil asked.

"I'm a business man, Phil."

"You're a dentist, dude." Phil chuckled making Chuckie glare at him.

Lil walked into the dressing room and saw the wedding dress on a chair. She looked around and saw no one around so she shrugged, grabbed it, and ran into the bathroom.
"Where is she?" Chuckie asked. "Someone go get her!"

"Fine." Tommy rolled his eyes and walked in.

Tommy walked into the dressing room and his eyes widened to see Lil looking at herself in the mirror, wearing Kimi's wedding dress. She didn't see him at first and said to no one impaticular, "God, I'm beautiful."

"Got that right." Tommy chuckled slamming the door to get her attention.

She swung around and sighed of relief. "Oh, you scared me."

"What are you doing wearing Kimi's wedding dress?" Tommy asked picking up Chuckie's phone off a desk next to the couch in the room.

"Well, she ain't gonna use it." Lil rolled her eyes. "Besides, I don't plan on getting married."

"Why?" Tommy asked, almost concerned.

"I dunno." she shrugged. "Just really never planned on it."

"Are you a virgin?" Tommy looked at her odd.

"No." Lil replied angrily. "Infact, I had sex recently."

"When?"

"This morning."

"Really?"

"Really." Lil nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must change."

"Wait." Tommy stopped her and examined her. "You look pretty good in a wedding dress." he scratched his chin.

Lil smiled and nodded, "I know."

"Son of a-" Chuckie sighed. "Someone go find them!"

"Geeze." Angelica rolled her eyes and walked into the building.

Angelica swung the door opened and gasped to see Tommy and Lil making out, and Lil wearing the wedding dress.

They immediately stopped and turned to her. "It's not what it looks like!" Lil shouted.

"It's not?" Tommy asked her.

"Dammit!" Angelica screamed. "Why am I always the one caughtfinding anawkward make out?"

"Hello Phil." Phil walked into his apartment to see May on his couch watching TV.

"Hey." Phil said. "Why weren't you at the wedding?"

"Didn't feel like going." she shrugged. "Oh, I gotta get to work."

"What?" Phil looked at his watch. "It's midnight."

Tommy walked into his apartment and gasped to see Laura making out with some guy.

"Who the hell are you?" Tommy shouted picking up a lamp.

"Tommy?" Laura asked. "Um, uh, uh,-"

"Who's this joker?" the guy asked.

"Oh, you gone a done it now." Tommy said jerking the cord loose from the lamp. He ran over to the guy and hit him on the head with it, knocking him out.

"Tommy!" Laura shouted as the door swung open. Phil ran in, closed the door and locked it.

"Phil." Tommy turned to his friend and glared at him. "Do you mind?"

"Yes." Phil nodded looking through the peep hole. "That crazy retard, May, she's a hooker. A gay hooker."

"What?" Tommy and Laura asked him in unison.

Phil then looked at the knocked out guy on the floor. "Whoa."

Chuckie walked into his apartment and turned on the lights. He sighed sitting down on the couch. He then rolled his eyes once he heard a knock at his door.

He sighed and opened it. Samantha was standing there holding a kid about two years old. "He's your's." she grinned.

Chuckie's eyes were wide open and he just fell back and fainted.

Lil was sitting at a chair. Tommy was on the other side of her but glass seperated the two. They even had to use phones to talk to eachother and Tommy was in a prison outfit.

"Well, they said that Brad agreed to just give me one month for assualt." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"So I suppose you didn't kill him?" Lil asked.

"Nope." Tommy said. "Luckily for me, Laura came by this morning with files of divorce and it was taken care of."

"Good." Lil nodded.

"Hey," Tommy grinned. "Last night was pretty good, eh?"

"Oh yeah." Lil nodded. "Until the police knocked my bedroom door down and tazered you."

"I guess being a coastguard pays off on knowing alot of cops." Tommy shrugged.

"Anyway," Lil said, "Once you get out, we'll have more nights like that."

"Yep." Tommy nodded. "If these freaks in here don't rape me first."

"Tommy," Lil started twisting the cord of the phone and talked innocently. "Do you like kids?"

"Uh, sure." Tommy nodded. "Why?"

"I'm pregnant." she mumbled.

Tommy's eyes and mouth were wide open. Without a word, he hung up the phone walked over to the guard, let the guard handcuff him then was escorted back into his cell.

Lil watched him go out the door and sighed, "Maybe he'll lighten up about it."

Bakc in reality, real time, whatever you wanna call it.

Tommy just shrugged as he took a drink of coffee. "Ah, the outcomes of everything would probably just be the same."

"Yeah." Lil nodded.

"Probably." Chuckie agreed.

"Uh huh." Angelica nodded.

"What do you guys wanna do?" Phil asked.

"Wanna catch a movie?" Susie suggested.

"Sure." Kimi nodded.

They wall walked out leaving Doug inside by himself. "I wonder what would have happened if Lil and I had stayed together." he pondered as he smiled then his smile turned to a frown. "Nah. Lil seems to have a habit for getting knocked up."