Chapter 31
Lil sat with an unsatisfied look on her face as Tommy, Phil, Dil, and Chuckie were in her's and Tommy's apartment with camoflauged jackets on and orange caps and shirts with rifles in their hands. Angelica then walked in.
"Well, Chuckie." she said. "The divorce is final."
"Thank the good God." Chuckie took a deep breath as Kimi walked in.
"I can't believe you guys are going hunting." Kimi glared at them.
"Tommy," Lil said whiling holding Mikey. "Have you ever shot a gun in your life?"
"Hell yeah." Tommy grinned. "I went hunting with Grandpa all the time for deer, rabbit, quail, and even moose."
"Moose?" Lil asked.
"Yeah. Moose." Tommy nodded. "Dil came too every once in a while."
"Oh yeah." Dil smiled big.
"You guys ready?" Phil asked.
"Don't shoot one." Kimi said. "You're not going to shoot one are you?"
"Yeah, Kimi." Phil nodded. "We are. That's what you do on a hunting trip."
"Imagine that you're that deer." Kimi said. "Your standing there as suddenly, a friggin' bullet blasts right through your friggin' head."
"Well," Phil said. "I don't have much time to react as my brains fly all over the ground."
"Yeah guys." Lil agreed with Kimi, fakely. "Uh...don't shoot...one." As the boys began to walk out, Lil grabbed Tommy's shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Bring us back some deer meat." Tommy smiled and nodded, gave her a quick peck on the lips, then headed out the door.
Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Dil were in Dil's truck. Dil was driving and Tommy in the front with him while Chuckie and Phil were in the back seat.
"How long is it going to take to get there?" Chuckie asked.
"A while." Dil replied.
"You know something guys." Phil said. "We are real men, you know that?"
"Hell yeah, we are." Tommy grinned. "Did you guys even bring bullets?"
"Hell no." they all replied.
"Excellent." Tommy smiled. "You got the beer, Phil?"
"Oh yeah." Phil smiled.
"You bring some cards, Dil?"
"Uh huh."
"I got the portable TV." Tommy grinned. "And Chuckie, did you buy the deer meat to fool the girls?"
"Yep." Chuckie nodded.
"Yes, Phil." Tommy sighed while smiling. "We are real men."
Later...the arrived at the cabin. They parked outside it and went inside.
"Well, let's begin." Tommy said sitting down at the table. "Show me the money."
"Money?" Phil looked at him confused as he sat down.
"Cards." Tommy rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
Dil sat down with them and pulled out a deck of cards as Chuckie sat down too. They began playing poker.
After about an hour...
"That wasn't fun." Phil said, wearing no clothes.
"Sure it was." Tommy grinned wearing only his underwear.
"Strip poker was an excellent idea." Dil nodded wearing every bit of clothing.
"I agree with Phil." Chuckie sighed with a cup covering his crotch.
"Come on, Chuckie." Phil said. "We're the guys. We can see your dick. There's no problem with it."
"The very reason I don't want you to see it." Chuckie glared at him. "You are the guys."
"Okay, Chuck, put your pants on." Tommy said taking another drink of his beer. "You too Phil. You've had a boner for a while and it disturbs me. Very much. I am disturbed very much."
Phil rolled his eyes quickly putting his clothes back on as well as Tommy and Chuckie too. "What now?" Chuckie asked.
"Want to go hunting?" Dil asked.
"No." he all replied.
"Come on,guys." Dil groaned. "I want to shoot something."
"Shoot Phil." Chuckie said shuffling the deck of cards.
Phil rolled his eyes and said, "Dil, if you wanted to shoot a deer, why didn't you bring any bullets?"
"I did." he replied. "Just didn't want to sound like a pussy in front of you guys."
"Bringing bullets for a hunting trip doesn't make you a pussy." Tommy put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Not bringing bullets for a hunting trip seems kind of weak." he began to ponder.
"Tommy." Dil sighed.
"Oh." Tommy looked back to Dil. "Um. Okay, D. Let's go. For you."
"Do we have to?" Chuckie groaned.
"Yes." Tommy glared at him. "We're going hunting."
"Yet another day off from the boys." Kimi smiled leaning back in a lawn chair on the roof with Lil, Angelica, and Susie in other lawn chairs next to her.
"Yes." Lil replied sipping a beer.
"Wait a second." Susie said. "Last time we left them alone they ordered a stripper and Lil had to screw Tommy to punish him."
"That was a good night." Lil smiled taking another drink of beer.
"We know." Kimi mumbled.
"What?" Lil looked over to Kimi.
"Nothing." Kimi replied nervously sipping a beer of her own.
"Ah so what?" Angelica shrugged. "Let'em order a stripper."
"Yeah sure." Lil shrugged too. "Just a stripper. Not like he'd sleep...with...her."
"Phil would." Kimi said taking a big gulp of beer. "Okay." she leaned up. "Now, let's get drunk and go to Johnny's place."
"What's Johnny's?" Angelica asked.
"You guys have never been to Johnny's?" Kimi asked. "A bar, sort of like Doug's. Only, it's more of a hard core like place. Lots of guys there. Single guys. Lots of beer."
"Sounds good." Angelica grinned.
"Crap." Lil rolled her eyes. "I'm married." she sighed.
"So what?" Angelica shrugged. "Pretend your not. That's what Tommy did."
Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, and Phil were sitting in the tree stand with their rifles ready.
"This is boring, Dil." Phil groaned. "No deer. We've been up here for an hour."
"Look." Dil whispered pointing out of the stand. They all looked to see a big buck eating grass below the tree stand.
"Good." Chuckie whispered. "Now shoot the thing so we can get out of here!"
Dil aimed his gun at the deer and prepared to pull the trigger but stopped and put the gun down. "I can't do it." he said.
"What?" Tommy glared at him. "Dammit, Dil. That is the very reason we came up here. You're doing the exact opposite of what you was supposed to do!"
"I can't." Dil said watching the buck eating grass. "Look at the precious thing."
"It's a deer, D." Chuckie sighed. "Just the stupid thing."
"Stupid?" Dil glared at him. "The deer is a beautiful, peaceful, intelligent mammal."
"So technical." Phil sighed. "Please Dil. It's getting hot up here and the bugs are crazy." he said swatting flies away.
"I'll scare him off." Dil said.
"No." Tommy said. "You dragged us up here to shoot a freaking deer. Now shoot it."
"O-Okay." Dil sighed pointing the gun at it again. He then lowered it and sighed. "But, I-"
"Dil." Tommy rubbed his eyes. "You've shot a deer before. Just shoot the deer."
"You've been hunting plenty of times." Chuckie said.
"I never shot anything." Dil mumbled.
"Sure you have." Tommy said.
"Nah." Dil shook his head. "I made Grandpa shoot them to make it look like I did."
"Ohh." Tommy sighed. "I see. Well, it's okay Dil." he then turned to Phil. "Blow its head off, Phil."
Phil nodded and pointed the rifle at the deer. "NO!" Dil yelled smacking the gun as he fired it. The bullet shot off into the air startling the deer.
"I'll be." Phil glared at Dil. "I missed." he then noticed the deer began bucking the tree. The tree stand shook and the box of bullets fell out along with Dil's rifle.
"Crap." Tommy groaned.
The deer kept bucking the tree looking up at them and growled. "Did it just growl at us?" Phil asked nervously.
"I think so." Chuckie gulped. "That'sa mean deer."
"Sh-Shoot it Phil." Tommy turned to Phil.
"N-No problem." Phil aimed the gun at the deer again but Dil hit it knocking it out of Phil's hands and it landed on the ground next to the tree. "Nice job, Dil."
"Now we're trapped." Tommy rolled his eyes.
"Don't you have bullets?" Phil asked Tommy and Chuckie.
"Didn't plan on shooting anything." Tommy sighed picking up a Playboy that was lying next to him. He opened it andbegan scanning the pages.
"Me too." Chuckie sighed.
"It's just a cute little deer guys." Dil said. "Let's just climb down the ladder and get out of here." Dil began climbing down the ladder. But, the deer put its two front legs up on the tree and began hitting Dil with its antlers and snapping at him. Dil quickly climbed back up.
"Little bit mean, eh?" Phil glared at Dil.
"A tad." Dil shrugged.
"If you had just let Phil shoot it." Tommy sighed.
"Everybody dance now!" the music in Johnny's was booming.
Kimi, Lil, Angelica, and Susie were sitting at a table with blue, red, and green strobe lights all over the diner. People everywhere and the waitresses had very slutty outfits on.
"This is like Hooters X." Lil commented on the diner.
"Changed alot since I was here last." Kimi looked around nervously.
"And when was you here last?" Susie glared at her.
Kimi shrugged and looked down nervously. "Six years ago."
"Six years ago?" Lil asked angrily. "Have you noticed that the only girls here are waitresses?"
"Everyone probably thinks we're lesbians." Angelica growled as a woman walked by the looked like a boy and glared at Angelica. "Not that they're anything wrong with that." she chuckled nervously as the woman walked off.
"Kimi, can we go?" Lil asked gulping. "Those guys at the bar are checking us out and it seems to be angering the waitresses."
Night time...
Chuckie and Dil were asleep in the corner of the tree stand, cuddle up withDil having his arm wrapped around Chuckie waist and Chuckie resting his head on Dil's chest.
Tommy and Phil tried to restrain from laughing. "I can't wait until they wake up." Tommy whispered opening a bottle of beer.
"Me too." Phil chuckled opening one too. Phil sighed leaning back in one corner of the stand and Tommy in the other corner. "So, T." he said. "What's the married life like?"
"It's great." Tommy smiled. "I am going to be with her the rest of my life. I havea child and I love him. I lover her. I love it all. The joys of being a father, a husband."
"Tommy, let me ask you something." Phil said. "In high school. Some guys in the locker room made fun of me."
"Geeze Phil." Tommy covered his eyes with his free hand. "I don't wanna hear that."
"No, no." Phil shook his head chuckling. "Not that. Believe me, they never made fun of me about that. I did alot of making fun of though." he grinned. "Anyway, in high school some guys called me a...uh...a man whore."
Tommy was taking a drink of beer then about spit it up when he heard Phil. He swallowed it and eased out, "Man whore?"
"Yeah." Phil sighed. "Well, you know. I lost my virginity in tenth grade." he shrugged.
"Of course." Tommy nodded.
"And they said I'd probably be a guy to never fall in love." he sighed innocently.
"Phillip." Tommy smiled at his friend. "You already proved them wrong. You fell in love with Kimi Finster. And you're still in love with her."
"What?" Phil looked at him. "Why would you say I'm still in love with her?"
"It's obvious, Phil." Tommy rolled his eyes. "And you began yelling it in your sleep while you was on my couch the other night."
"Oh."
"Phil." Tommy said. "I think Kimi still loves you too. It's just, you're hard to get along with."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Phil glared at him.
"That's not what I meant." Tommy said. "I mean, you want to satisfy her so much, you ruined it. You were jealous of Z and in order to get attention again, you poisoned me."
"Yeah." Phil nodded.
"You tried so hard for her love, you destroyed it." Tommy said.
"What's your point, T?" Phil asked.
Tommy just stared at him for a moment and said, "I don't know." he said. "But what I'm trying to say is, well, make a move. She'll fall for ya."
"You sure, Tommy?" Phil smiled.
"No." Tommy frowned. "In fact, it probably won't work."
"Huh?"
"But, worth a shot, eh?" he smiled. Tommy sighed and smiled. "Phil. You love her. She loves you. I don't know what else to tell you. But, I can tell that you want what me and Lil have, don't you?"
"Yes." Phil nodded. "I want to have a family. Ever since Mom caught me doing it with Jordan Banks on summer vacation of your alls' second year of college, she's been ashamed of me."
"Jordan Banks." Tommy grinned. "I remember her. She slapped me several times. Never would go out with me. By the way, were they real?"
"Fake as they could be." Phil rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Mom said to my face, I would'nt amount to anything. Then I realized that Lil was the success of the family."
"That's horrible." Tommy sighed. "But Lil is a pretty big success, eh?"
"Shut up, T." Phil glared at him. "We're having a moment, here. Anyhow, Dad tried to tell Mom that I was grown up and crap. But, she would hardly talk to me afterwards. I haven't spoken to Mom in two years."
"You haven't spoken to Betty in two years?" Tommy asked. "They live justa few blocks away. What about your dad?"
"I talk to Dad all the time." Phil shrugged. "At your wedding, Tommy. Mom only said two statements to me. The first one: Tuck your shirt in. The second one: Don't you want that?"
"I'm sorry Phil."
"It's fine." Phil shrugged. "I always thought of my Mom as being cool. She was the easy going one that would get us out of trouble when your's and Chuckie's mom got mad."
"Yeah." Tommy smiled.
"I tell you, T." Phil said. "The greatest fear in your life should be your parents catching you having sex."
Tommy stared at him opened eyed for a moment and said. "Yeeesss. It should be."
"Have they caught you before?"
"Every girl I've ever been with." Tommy sighed. "Literally." he then began to think. "Except Kimi that time in college." he looked over to Phil who was glaring at him. "And Lil that time in college."
"Anyway." Phil glared at him. "Who? When? Where? How? And what?"
"I don't feel comfortable about this." Tommy said looking at him odd.
"Come on." Phil nudged him.
Tommy smiled and him and blurt out, "Okay." he then began to whisper. "So, I was with Ashley...uh...yeah...Ashley."
"What was her last name?" Phil asked.
"I can't remember." Tommy rolled his eyes. "We had been going out for a year. Then, I came home on summer vacation from our first year of college. My parents had just met her. After super, we went to my room, she took my pants off, she put on some slutty lingerie and like...pounced on me. Then, my dad and mom walked in wanting to know if we wanted to go see Hamlet."
"Seriously?" Phil chuckled. "Oh my God." he laughed. "Okay, who else?"
"Okay, this other girl, Logan...uh...um...hm." Tommy began to think. "What was her last name? Oh well! Anyway, we were going out for about a years as well. Doing it in the dorm room on the graduation day of college. Then, my parents walked in for a little surprise visit before the graduation party."
"Ha ha!" Phil laughed. "Another one! Another one!"
"Laura." Tommy started. "Wait. I'm not supposed to talk about her."
"Lil ain't here."
"Okay!" Tommy smiled. "So, Laura-"
"Wait." Phil stopped him. "You're already at Laura? That was the relationship right before Lil."
"Yes."
"You've only been in four relationships?" Phil chuckled.
"Shut it, whore boy." Tommy glared at him. "Anyway. I just proposed to her and she came onto me. She just started doing it with me."
"When did your parents walk in?"
Tommy smiled and laughed, "Did I forget to mention that I proposed to her in the living room of my parents house with Mom, Dad, and Dil watching?"
Phil burst out laughing and wiped a tear away. "That is absoloutely halarious. Please, tell another."
"Okay, finally Lillian." Tommy said. "Your parents saw this one too, by the way."
"Huh?"
"We were just sitting at home." he said. "About nine o'clock. I was reading the newspaper, Lil was writing her book."
"Writing her book?" Phil asked.
"She attempted to write a book." Tommy said. "I never read it. I said I did but the freakin' thing was thirty two chapters long."
"Geeze." Phil's eyes widened.
"Yeah, no one would publish it because so many children died of sharp weapons." Tommy sighed. "Anyway, she says to me, 'Wanna do it?'. So I'm like, you know, what am I gonna say? So I shrug and nod and we...well...you know."
"And?"
"Mine and your parents walk in." Tommy rubbed his eyes.
"Why?"
"It was Dil's birthday." Tommy sighed. "They weretrying to find him."
"Man, you are such a loser." Phil laughed.
"I know, I know." Tommy laughed with him. "You know what makes it even funnier?"
"What?"
"They found Dil." Tommy chuckled. "Stoned."
"Holy crap." Phil laughed.
They finally stopped laughing and smield at eachother. "You know, Phil." Tommy said. "I love hanging out with you."
"I'm a fun guy." Phil nodded.
"I mean," Tommy said. "You see these people who are friends as kids, teenagers, and in college, but then they grow up. They go their seperate paths and never meet up again. Move to other cities. Other states. Other countries. Get jobs, get married, get laid, get killed. I'm just so thankful that I have friends that are so...friendly." he smiled.
"Yeah." Phil nodded. "We are some pretty good friends."
"Seriously." Tommy said. "I have been friends with you, Lil, Chuckie, Kimi, Angelica, and Susie since I was one year old. That's some good friendship. We have been friends for almost thirty years."
"Don't remind me." Phil rubbed his forehead. "One more year and I'm thirty years old."
"At least you're not a virgin." Tommy said taking a drink of beer.
Phil looked at him odd and whispered, "Are you?"
"No!" Tommy yelled. "I'm just saying. At least you're not. In general. You know. I have a freakin' child for God's sakes." he shook his head taking another big gulp of beer.
"So, Tommy." Phil said. "Lil's not here. Tell me what you really think of her."
"Can't stand the woman." he blurted out. "Nah, I'm just kidding."
"I hope." Phil looked at him odd.
"I love her more than anything." Tommy said. "In high school, I developed a crush on her when you guys came back from your grandparents for the whole summer and she came back very hot."
"Hey." Phil glared at him.
"I'm married to her, dude." Tommy sighed. "I can say anything I want about her." Tommy then rubbed the back of his head. "Ouch."
"What is it?"
"I knew I shouldn't have said that." Tommy mumbled. "Uh, anyway. I had a crush on her but like a coward, I never made a move."
"Yeah, your first relationship was in college." Phil chuckled.
"Who's telling the damn story, Phil?" Tommy glared at him. "So Chuckie goes out with her. I get mad then they break up and I'm less mad. As time went on, my crush got smaller. Lil and I always were more than friends. I knew it. But never did I imagine screwing her in college, marrying her, having a child, getting punished with sex with her, divorcing her, and marrying her again. All in that order. Never thought any of that would happen."
"Hm." Phil nodded taking another drink of beer. "Is that deer gone yet?" he looked over the side to barely see its face in the dark looking at them with intensity. "Stupid deer." he sighed.
"So, Phil." Tommy said. "Tell me your story. Who is Phillip DeVille?"
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know some stuff, Phil." Tommy said. "How did the love for Kimi Finster develop."
"That my friend," Phil said, "Is for another time."
"We're going to be up here a while."
"Alright, fine." Phil said. "But, let me warn you. Prepare for a flashback chapter."
"What?" Tommy looked at him blankly.
"Nothing." Phil rolled his eyes.
That was a long chapter, compared to my usaul lengthed chapters at least. I hope you're enjoying it. read and review