The whole day,Neil had not managed to order his thoughts,about what happened.
He had tried not to think about it,but now as he saw his little angel, he was totally into it again.
He knew,it was unfair to fight about Summer,because it was not her who was the central point of fighting,
but it always ended up on Summer again.
It was more like his wife.Their marriage. He tried to find the reason why they have been fighting for so long now.
He searched for a reason everyday,to solve the problem and to live happily afterwards.
But in the meantime,it seemed like there won't be no happy end. It more seemed like a teary goodbye.
Was it right what his wife was saying? Were all here accusations right ?
The biggest arrow to his heart was shot today,by admitting to himself,that one accusation was more than just right.
He did not know the favourite color of Summer. He did not know what her favourite subject in school was,or what tvshow or activity in the afternoon she loved. He did not know,if she had any love interests yet. Okay he thought,she is only 13,but she was good looking.
Actually Neil knew up to nothing about his daughter.
Except of her grades,her daily homework,her schedule of lessons.
So was it also right that he was only raising a robotor with an IQ of 140 or something ?
Neil thought,that he and his daughter had a nice relationship.
They did not fight,only if Summer said she had not done her homework yet or properly.
-I am a good father,I guess.Otherwise Summer would be hating me right?- That was his final thought and he went on to the living room..
Meanwhile in the bathroom,Summer was kneeing in front of the toilet,wishing that she could vomit.Vomit out her guiltyness,her sadness.
She also felt some kind of loneliness. Where did she belong in this family ? She was always a mother bounded girl.
And now,her mother was turning into a monster,she seemed farther away than the other half of the earth.
Summer could not vomit. She hadn't eat anything,so there wasn't anything to vomit.She closed the toilet,and sat down on it.
Starring on the ground,not knowing where she'd belong. Why did n't say anything in the hallway,it was obvious that she had cried.
She had wanted to run into his arms,and just cry. She had wished to tell him that she heart the fight before and she was on his side.
She had wanted to tell him what happened while he was away.She had so many questions,she wanted to know if she was guilty or not.
But in the end,she did not end up in his arms,she ended up now,sitting on the toilet,starring at the ground.
-I hate him- Summer thought,- I hate him for not knowing me right,for not loving me.He doesn't love me otherwise he would have taken me into his arms,when he saw that I've cried, I guess he would right?.-Without giving herself a reasonable answer,not thinking about any other possibility she stopped speculating.
Summer knew she did not belong to him,she never did,maybe she would never do.But no longer she belonged to her mother,not today.
She felt like belonging to no one.To no one in this family.
But one place she knew,she would always belong to.She belonged to Marissa.
Summer went out of the bathroom,walking up to her room to take some things she needed to stay over night. She did not want to come back,not today.
When she went back downstairs again,she looked into the living room,seeing her dad reading the paper.
"I am going now." she whispered in a still recognizable volume.
As Neil turned around after finishing his article in the paper,no one was standing there.
He did not knew if Summer had been standing there,or if it was just some illusion of his wired chaotic thoughts.
So he went on reading the paper...