Disclaimer: For those of you who may have forgotten, I still do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I am however working on rectifying this situation, give me a few more days and I'll get back to you on how it goes. Wish me luck.

A Day In The Life Of

Chapter 2: to school or not to school.

The process of walking to school is a rather simple process for most. Merely a repetition a the simple "left foot, right foot" formula, with the only variables being the occasional traffic light as well as the relative distance to the school from your place of origin. Now if this simplicity where to be carried over to our two protagonists one would be confronted with a very short chapter indeed, as such the route to their resident institute of learning happened to be riddled with peril, or at the very least, shenanigans.

Approximately three blocks from the apartment Asuka had finally released Shinji's arm from her iron grasp. Whilst Shinji was occupied attempting to return his arm to it's rightful place, that being in the comfortable embrace of its socket, Asuka was busy at work formulating a plan concerning what to do during this given day. Frustration was beginning to set in as absolutely nothing was coming to mind. Finally succumbing to the powers of aggravation she resorted to plan E, having exhausted all other options. Plan E for those who missed the memo, is talking to Shinji.

"Shinji, what in the hell was that noise this morning?"

Shinji took a moment to get through the initial shock, Asuka talking to him, voluntarily no less, was to say the least not a regular occurrence. That being said, her attempting to make casual conversion was nigh unheard of. One can imagine that Shinji at this point was a stew of emotions, the ingredients being- mix one part surprised with two parts happy, then garnish heavily with suspicious.

"What was that?"

"God you really are an idiot aren't you, sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I said What. Was. That. Noise. This. Morning."

Contrary to popular belief, repeating something slowly with a pause between each word does not make something easier to hear. Just as it can't make someone miraculously speak English despite the best efforts of the English speaking populace when traveling around the globe. Fortunately it was a rather simple concept so Shinji understood nevertheless.

"Oh that was PenPen, did you know he can give the finger"

"Are you telling me the bird flipped you the bird?"

"Ironically enough… Yes."

Asuka stared at the boy with an incredulous look. This particular look being the one she usually reserves for those who wish to tell her the size of the fish they just caught but then managed to escape their grasp in a moment of confusion was. Seeing as this was Shinji though, she deemed most anything he said in dire need of scrutiny. He was after all, an idiot.

"You know that's impossible right, what with lacking the range of mobility and all."

"That's what I said."

"Well then you should listen to yourself more often, take it from me remember I am a University grad after all."

"Yeah, but didn't you graduate from a physics course, that has nothing to do with pengui…"

Asuka was of course quick to quell this miniature rebellion the remnants of Shinji's spine had decided to initiate. Insubordination was not to be tolerated, especially when coming from one whom she considered so obviously beneath her.

"Hey, if you really want to argue let's see your diploma… oh wait, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE do you? No? I didn't think so, so be smart and just believe everything I say unconditionally alright."

Unfortunately Shinji's spine, given its diminutive stature, could not hold up against very much pressure. For a point of reference if one is so needed, it possesses approximately the same structural integrity as that of Balsawood. Which, for those of you who have never had the misfortune of attempting to work with, is hardly very much at all. Taking all of this into account a small snap could be heard from Shinji's lower back as he muttered:

"Yes Mam."

Now at this Asuka was not satisfied, she believed, nay, she was certain Shinji still didn't fully believe her, she had a plan. As a bonus this particular plan would put to rest her troubles as to what to do for the day.

However, before we elaborate on the plans of these two, let us observe the days of the other characters whom occupy this world.

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Elsewhere, deep within the bowls of Terminal Dogma, Two lone figures positioned side by side. One seated behind a desk, fingers intertwined at the fore of his expressionless façade. The other straight as a ramrod, hands locked in perfect symmetry behind his back. Their features obscured in the shadows, a single candle fighting the suffocating darkness in the immense expanse of the room. The seated one remained unmoving, a visage that would haunt the dreams of even the sturdiest of men. Finally, the older standing man turned to his companion.

"Gendo…"

Now who didn't see that coming?

"… It seems the base is still abuzz with the left versus right debate incited by your son, what is your take on it?"

Gendo remained motionless in "Bastard king pose number 4" His personal contribution to poses of all sorts of masterminds. A pose he found far superior to "Bastard King pose number 3", I mean sitting and stroking a cat, come on now. Some crinkling could be heard as he turned toward his accomplice.

"What I do in the privacy of my own…"

"DON'T"

Fuyutsuki was quick to interrupt the phrase.

"Don't finish that sentence, just don't. I don't want to even know."

Gendo complied with the wishes of the older man; He was after all still polite. Confusion riddled his mind however as he attempted to discern his behaviour.

'I was only going to tell him that what I do in the privacy of my own clothing closet is none of the staff's concern.'

Fuyutsuki was indeed a strange individual.

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In a classroom, seated approximatelyfour desks away from the very spot Shinji would have been this very moment had he not been derailed by a train wreck called Asuka, sat a blue haired Red eyed girl. Rei sat as she always did, peering out the window. In a rare moment of insight we shall now see what really trully takes place in her mind.

Rei Starred at the tree.

The tree starred back.

Rei starred at the tree some more.

The tree stared back

Reis eyes narrowed.

The tree looked away.

Yet another victory for the enigmatic Ayanami Rei, this bringing her record to a total of Rei: 60, inanimate objects: 1. Her record would be unblemished where it not for that damnable toaster. She had promised herself on the eve of her defeat that she would not rest until said toaster agreed to a rematch; it was after all, the only venue open to redeem herself with. All of these other opponents where Childs play, especially the trees, she smiled inwardly as she began to make preparations for the afternoons contest, the one with the fire hydrant down the street.

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Returning once again to the original focus of this particular tale Shinji and Asuka had managed to arrive at the Zoo. Then subsequently, in record time (only 5 minutes by Asuka's count) had managed to be banned for life. The details of the crimes perpetrated to warrant such drastic action shall be left to the imagination, mainly in an attempt to avoid legal action from folks at PETA. Though if one where to go to the Tokyo 3 Zoo and travel it in its entirety, they would notice something was amiss in the confines of the Penguin cage. You see penguins in the wild, don't normally all have their flippers in splints.

"I told you penguins didn't have the range of mobility required to flip the bird."

Asuka's triumphant tone made it obvious to all but the densest of observers that she believed this particular case (The people vs. Shinji and PenPen) to be closed. There was however a nagging suspicion in the gullet of Ikari Shinji, that perhaps PenPen was different from these other penguins.

"Yeah, but I remember before you got here, hearing something about PenPen being genetically engineered, or maybe I read it I'm not sure. People write some crazy things you know."

Asuka was shocked, flabbergasted, gobsmacked and floored. This was a possibility she had never considered before, a revelation that could turn the very way she looks at the world on it's head. This meant she had to revaluate everything she believed. It was quite a while before Asuka could give voice to her confusion, attempting to piece her mind back together. Finally she asked.

"You existed before I met you?" (Shout-out to King Alar on that one)

To this, Shinji had no response. Which if one where to stop and think about it, is probably the same response they'd have to such a question being posed to them with any degree of seriousness behind it. He looked Asuka up and down for a bit trying desperately to think of what the appropriate reply would be, eventually looking into her eyes and seeing the amazement in them, he concluded that it would be best to simply let the topic go, lest he accidentally break the poor girls mind.

"Well how about we go home and check? Misato is at work today, so we don't need to worry about that."

That seemed to work as Asuka broke out of the trance she seemed to have placed herself into and shook her head slightly. She quickly agreed and the two began their trek back home. Although Shinji noted that Asuka continued to throw him odd looks as they continued on their merry way. This led to Shinji's ultimate conclusion that Asuka was every bit as peculiar as he was, and then some.

As it would happen, upon their arrival the Penguin in question was busy enjoying its daily soap operas. Absentmindedly using his flippers in correlation with it's oval shaped gut as someform of primitive drum set. Seeing as nothing was happening the silence was beginning to get to Shinji, causing the boy to fidget in discomfort. Eventually he decided to make causal conversation with his avian companion.

"So has Rocko woken up from his coma yet?"

"Wark."

"What, and he's dating who?"

"Wark Wark… Wark."

"No. He's cheating on her? with Valerie?"

Asuka was once again in shock. Firstly the revelation that Shinji actually had a life beyond the scope of her existence, and then compounded by the knowledge that he is in fact capable of communication with the bird. She was beginning to wonder how much more of this her mind could take, the answer of course being four.

"Look, even if you can talk to him, he's still just a stupid penguin alright. There is no way he can give anyone the finger."

This outburst on Asuka's part elicited a menacing glare from the Penguin as it slowly and deliberately stood from its position on the ground. And with equally purposeful movement its flipper gradually lifted into the air before coming to a halt just above it's head. Asuka watched in horror as it's flipper and the tiny claw like appendages which double as it's fingers began to curl one by one until the only remaining raised portion rested squarely in the centre of the appendage, effectively flipping off the Girl.

The counter with an engraving which now reads "Until Asuka's mind breaks" read: Three.

END OF CHAPTER 2

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(A/N) Well there you have it, chapter 2 of "A Day in the Life of" hope you enjoyed it.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you that making the jump between Non-Fiction and Fiction writing is easy, be aware that they're lying out the Wazoo. I seem to be having a hard time creating a sense of somesort of narrative since I never actually had to do so before and as such everything seems to be coming out kind of disjointed. I tried to fix a bit of that problem in this chapter, but I'm still nowhere near there yet, so bear with me here.

Anyway if any of you are interested in a rewarding career as pre-reader for this schlock, god knows I need one, I'd be very appreciative. Posting this hot off the press is probably not the best option open to me since it remains riddled with errors. (Most of which can be attributed to that laziness I was talking about at an earlier juncture, unless of course I was to lazy to type that part out.)

Also on a completely unrelated note, the details to that more serious fic I was talking about before (this one I know I typed out) are finally fully hammered out, so I'll be splitting my time between this and writing a rough draft of it's first chapter, so most of the following updates won't be coming this quickly

Seeing as that seems to be about it:

Have a good one eh.