Chapter 20: Reality…check

HIGH ON THE HELLMOUTH DEMON BAR – 10:00 PM CHRISTMAS NIGHT

KENNEDY'S POV

"Well isn't this just a Merry fucking Christmas?" I down another shot as I look at Faith.

She shakes her head, "I'm sorry Ken, maybe we shouldn't have told you guys about Tara being there too. We didn't think Red would react like that."

It's been almost a week since Faith and Buffy had the Slayer dream. That next morning they gave us the blow by blow and Willow freaked out about Tara being there. I don't understand it; it's been so many years. And Tara told Buffy there was no blame, she was meant to die, it was all part of the cosmic plan. I was so relieved when Buff told us that part. I always had the feeling Willow felt guilty. But you would think from how she's acting now that Tara had died 11 days ago not 11 years ago. I'm really trying my best to bite my tongue and be supportive, but damn, I just don't do second best well.

Then to make matter's worse, later that same day Buffy got a call from a Watcher in Switzerland saying his Slayer was freaking out so she jumped on a plane to Zurich before the girl could hurt anyone or herself. So now Willow can't even try to talk it out with her best friend.

"I thought we were past this; fuck me, like a long time ago. It's not like I want Will to forget her, but does she still have to grieve for her? Jesus Christ!" I slam my empty glass down and Willy brings us another round.

"Look, why don't you go and talk to her? Or better yet just listen to her? You don't want to be fighting on Christmas. Let her tell you what she's thinking instead of you thinking you know what she's thinking. Wow, did that make any sense?"

"Yeah, I guess. How about you? You gonna be ok flying solo tonight?"

Faith laughed, "Don't worry about me. I'm just going to finish this up, give Willy his Christmas tip and hit the sack. Go on and get out of here, I'll see you tomorrow."

So I leave Faith at the bar and walk home in the rain/snow/sleet mixture that's now pouring down around me. It kinda helps in a way, both to sober me up a bit and to cool me down. I really don't want to fight with Will. I want to understand what she's feeling and help her through it.

When I get home the house is quiet and she's waiting for me. "You're soaked!" She comes into the hall after I shut the door. "You're going to catch pneumonia."

I shrug off my coat and put it on the coat rack, "Nah, I'm fine," but I shiver as my wet hair starts to drip down my back.

"Come on, you need to get dry and change." She takes my hand and leads me upstairs to our room. Being a little tipsy, I just follow and keep quiet. She closes our door and starts to strip off my clothes. I know it's crazy, but I feel kinda shy, it's not like she's being sexual, maybe that's it, that's she's being almost clinical. It makes me sad: I don't need a fucking nurse, I need my girl back.

Will grabs my robe and puts it on me then runs to the bathroom for a towel. Coming back she sits me on the bed and starts to dry my hair. "I was worried about you," she starts.

"You know I was with Faith. We went to say Merry Christmas to Willy."

"But you didn't say anything when you left," she pauses, "you just left."

Turning to her, I take her hands from my hair, "I'm sorry baby, but I couldn't spend another night watching you be consumed thinking about Tara." I hang my head and sigh. Well I'm sure I just blew it. Nice going Ken, you're supposed to be listening here, I'm such an asshole.

I hear her take a deep breath, then she's crying, again, just fucking great.

Gathering her in my arms I hold her tightly to me. "Shhh, it's ok," I croon to her knowing perfectly well everything is very far from ok.

"No, it's not ok," she breaks out of my embrace, "we're falling apart and it's all my fault." She stands up and walks a little away from me, "This is what happened Ken, don't you get it? You told Faith you didn't want to know what she changed, but I've always known. I felt something had interfered with the original direction of our lives almost as soon as she did it, so I went into an astral plane to find out what had happened. We fought in that 'alternate life path' because I lost control of my magic and started obsessing about Tara. Now it's happening here and I can't, I can't lose you." She starts to sob.

Jumping up, not believing what I'm hearing, I grab hold of her arms, "What?"

She's nodding, trying to catch her breath, "Kennedy I'm so scared, it's happening here, in this reality, and I can't do anything to stop it."

I pull her into my arms, "It won't happen if you don't want it to."

"But, but…"

I lean forward capturing her lips in what is our first kiss in a week. "You are not going to lose me," I hold her face in my hands and force her to look at me, "Just talk to me."

"But I lost control of the magic last month and I felt that power again and it still calls to me, Goddess how it calls to me. Then when Buffy and Faith had that dream it freaked me out because that's how our fight all started in that other life: magic and Tara. So her appearing in Buffy's dream made me think we were going to - "

I shake my head at her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared," she bows her head, "I am scared."

Guiding her back to the bed I sit down and lean against the headboard. Pulling her with me I wrap her in my arms, "I helped you fend off the dark magic in Sunnydale didn't I?"

She nods against my chest.

"And last month, who woke you up and made sure you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else?"

"You did," she whispers into my neck.

"Then why don't you trust me to help you?"

She pushes away from me, "I do trust you, I just don't trust me, not with this!"

I pull her back to me, "I love you Willow," I kiss her forehead; "I will always help you and support you."

She presses further into me, holding on as if only I can stop her from drowning in this sea of pain and doubt, because I think she finally realizes I can and I will, "I love you so much."

"Ok then," I cajole stroking her back, "now tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours; tell me all about the fight, the magic, Tara, everything."

FAITH'S APARTMENT – 11:45 PM

FAITH'S POV

I'm just drifting off when I think I hear my front door shut. What the fuck? I'm a little loopy from drinking with Ken then I had a few with Willy so it takes a minute to open my senses to see if something's here. Ok, don't need the mystical, now I hear a rustling.

Figuring since I have a crossbow and a broad sword under the bed, I guess in my current state I can probably take whatever it is out in about 11 seconds instead of 7, so I reach down grabbing the sword's handle and wait for it to come nearer.

Then the room is enveloped by the presence of Buffy.

Releasing the sword I sigh, "You really shouldn't sneak up on people in the middle of the night." I say as I turn to her. "It's very dangerous, someone can get seriously - "

She rips the duvet off and slithers over me. I feel her nakedness as it surrounds me, oh so that's what the rustling was all about. Her eyes roam over my face, drinking me in, "Hi gorgeous," she purrs as she drops down to kiss me. Did I just say kiss me? I meant consume me, take me, ravage me with her mouth, lips and tongue. God I've missed her. Who knew one week would last so long?

Breaking apart I try to find my breath, "and Merry Christmas to you too."

"Hmm," her lips are on my neck, "I wanted to" kiss "surprise you at dinner" kiss "but I missed the early plane," kiss. She's straddling me now pulling my tank top over my head, "So I had to take the next flight then got stuck in Chicago, but I still made it home for our first Christmas together with 15 minutes to spare." She throws my shirt to the floor as her eyes survey my bare chest then she lightly trails her hands over the terrain. She leans into me, resting her hands on my shoulders; her face is very close to mine, "Have I forgotten to mention how much I missed you?"

Shaking my head I murmur "I can feel exactly how much you missed me," holding her by the hips I pull her down into my stomach.

"Ummm," her eyes close from the contact as she rocks into me, once again claiming my lips with hers, "Yeah, I guess you can," she breathes. Now she's sliding down my body and relieving me of my boxers.

"Merry Christmas baby," she whispers.

DAWN & ANDREW'S OFFICE – NEXT MORNING – 9:15 AM

ANDREW'S POV

"You didn't wake me."

I look up from my computer and see Dawn in her jammies and fuzzy slippers. "Hey sweetie," I get up and go to her, "you looked so tired, I figured you should sleep in. With the school closed and the rest of the world off for Boxing Day, I thought you could get away with a few extra hours."

"But I woke up alone," she spoke into my chest as she hugged me.

Pulling her back I kiss her softly, "I'm sorry, I needed to make some calls into Asia and it needed to be on their time."

"Hmm," she smiles at me, "I guess I can forgive you this time. But only if there's coffee in my immediate future."

"Then I guess it's my lucky day," I kiss her forehead and sit her down on the couch. "One Andrew-Mocha-Special coming right up!"

As I'm walking to the kitchen I see Emma coming downstairs, "Hey Em, you want a mocha?"

"Wow, sure, that would be great!"

"Cool, meet you in my office."

When I come back with their coffees they are chatting about Willow. Shit, poor Will, you know with everything going on with Buffy and Faith and Emma, everyone's forgetting how this must all be affecting her. That loss of control of her magic has her on edge. Although she tries to play it cool, I don't think she's recovered from it yet. It's like she's that girl just back from England all over again, unsure of her stuff and afraid of her own power. She's been so jumpy since last week, since Buffy and Faith's Slayer Dream. A lot of old stuff is being stirred up around here.

"I want to show you guys something I put together this morning." I swing over to my computer and punch up the files I've been playing with for the past couple of weeks. "I got the idea to make a magical energy fingerprinting system from when Will told us that all magic has a signature. I went back and pulled our surveillance tapes from different times to try and track Willow's magic's fingerprint."

"What?!" Willow is not pleased.

"Hey, Will, Ken, good come on in, you guys gotta see this." I bring up my program on both of my screens then turn one panel to the group. "Ok, see this first frequency," I show them a squiggly wave, "this is from when Willow made the fireworks for 4th of July. Notice the arch in the middle of the first quadrant and the dip in the middle of the third, very symmetrical, just like this one: from the night Will cloaked Emma. Now, look at this one from that next morning when, well, when things got a little wacky with the Goddess doing the power visit. Notice now the arch is at the end of the first quadrant and the dip is at the beginning of the third quadrant. It's still symmetrical, but different, sharper. I pulled the tapes of every time after that when Will used her magic to my knowledge and now it always matches the latter pattern."

"Wow, my magic has changed? Maybe that's why I feel so… off."

I nod, "Could very well be. I think it may have something to do with this spell you have to perform with Emma, Buffy and Faith."

Ken breaks in, "Why do you say that?"

I turn back to my computer, "Look at this," I punch up another file.

"Yeah, it's just like the others, Willow's 'after' magic." Kennedy is not impressed, yet.

"Very good except this isn't Willow's magic." I say smugly, God I love this part…

Emma does the honors, "Well, whose is it Andrew?"

Smiling at her I calmly state, "It's actually an overlay. It's three people: yours, Buffy's and Faith's." Pressing a few keys, the screen's graphic now separates into 4 identical images each labeled with one of their names. I wait for the proper shock and awe – that phase will never hold the same meaning for me, it's a shame really.

"I mapped Buffy's from the night of her Slayer dream, Faith's from when she taught Emma how to control her empathically power and Emma's later that night before she went to sleep, then again, sorry sweetie, the machine picked it up, but when you used it this morning. I don't know what you were doing, but the sensors caught it coming from your room."

Emma blushed hard, "Jesus, you're like the magic Gestapo. I was just reaching out, feeling for Buffy, I didn't want to bother her by phoning so I felt for her to see if she was on her way back."

Dawn looked at her, "Wow, I didn't know you could do that."

Emma nods, "It is pretty cool, huh? She's back by the way, she's at Faith's."

"Shit," Kennedy shakes her head, "between you an Andrew, you two are like Magic Unchecked meets Big Brother. I don't know if I like this."

"It's not like I was spying," Emma pleads, "I just missed her, she's been gone for a long time. I just wanted to know where she was."

"I know Em, but magic has its place and I think you know you're testing the bounds." Willow firmly scolds her. "I got caught in that trap; don't allow yourself to as well. It's a hard road back"

"Ok," she meekly responses.

"And as for you," Will narrows her eyes at me, "you are a freaking genius. But are quite sneaky too, I'll have to keep my eye on you. Continue, though, what's your theory?"

I pop my head up seeing I'm not in trouble with the witch, "Well, since Faith's and Emma's 'print' were already identical before the magic surge, it leads me to believe that it's their true signature. Two people having the same print is weird, but I'm sure the PtB have a hand in this somewhere."

"And Buffy?" Willow asks, "I mean, yes, she's a mystical being, but she has a magical fingerprint?"

Nodding furiously, I explain further, "Oh, yes, my system's incredibly reliable. It can trace the source of the energy to the millimeter. Well, as long as it's IN the house."

Will tilts her heads and seems to be ready to pose a question when the front door slams shut.

"Hey guys, I'm home, Merry Christmas!" Buffy calls from the hall.

"We're in here," I yell out.

"Hey, what's up?" She and Faith walk in looking around at all of us, "It's a little early for a Scooby meeting isn't it?"

Dawn goes to her and gives her a big hug, "Merry Christmas Buff, and apparently, it's never too early for a Scooby meeting."

"And that will make perfect sense in about 10 minutes, right?" Buffy asks.

"Maybe 15," I reply.

IN THE KITCHEN – A FEW DAYS LATER – 12:30 PM

FAITH'S POV

Me and Ken are making subs for the gang, both silent, lost in our own thoughts. Andrew's 'magic fingerprint show' the other day was impressive, we all feel we're a little closer to understanding what's going on now. Red and Dawn have been researching non-stop for a spell that will join us all but that's only half of it. We have a lot of power separately, combined it would be tremendous and volatile so it needs to be controlled. Buffy's not worried though, she said if anyone can find a way for it to work, it's those two, and I think I agree with her.

So while the girls researched, Andrew and Emma tested more demon samples, and Ken contacted Vi and Rona to get ready to come to Cleveland as soon as the spell is ready, Buffy and I spent the last few days back at my place. We needed some alone time together. You know, some time to find our rhythm without the Scoobys, the PtB, Slayers duties and basically the weight of the worlds constantly surrounding us. It was a perfect three days, almost like a vacation, well really more like the calm before the storm.

In all the years we knew each other, going back to when I first came to Sunnydale, we never had uninterrupted time together. Something always happened to keep us apart, separate. At first we were constantly waiting for the phone to ring or a knock at the door. When it didn't happen we finally relaxed and realized we barely even know each other. But we know neither of us can be without the other. No, that can never happen again.

This crazy life we've been leading since we were teenagers has taken a toll on us in many ways. I told her I think I actually had it easier in some ways because I never had the responsibility she had. I never had the home, family, friends, loves to lose. I don't know how she's been able to stay sane all these years. She's lost so much and always seems to keep it together. Then she reminded me of the whole years of torture thing. But you know physical pain is easier to handle, at least for me. Leaving her in LA was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I told her as much.

She always lived in both worlds though, finding a way to make it work when by all rights it shouldn't have. I'm still amazed at what she's done here: the school, the contacts, shit even the money. She's so much more than the Slayer, but then she always has been. She's made a real life, a career, and is surrounded by people that will do anything for her. All of that on top of making this world a safer place, incredible.

But me, I was only just a slayer and I mean it in lowercase. It was almost too natural to throw myself into the role with the PtB. All I had to do was go in, do my thing and leave, on to the next. It was very up my alley, the 'get some and get gone' girl finally found a way for it to happen in her work-life as well as her sex-life. Even when I was with Isabella, I was away more than with her. But now, I don't want to get gone, not anymore. I got a glimpse of what a life with her can be and want it, I want it bad. I just hope it's not too late for us.

"Hey, you ok?" Ken's brow is furrowed and she has a worried look on her face.

I shake the cobwebs from my mind, "You bet, just... spacing."

"You sure?" she's not convinced; "Do we have to have another talk about holding everything inside?"

I laugh, "No," I finish making the sub I started before I got lost in my own little world. "So how did it go the other night? You and Red look a lot better."

She gives me a final raised eyebrow then sighs, "Good, you were right; I just had to get her to talk to me. She – she told me why we fought in that other time, the one you changed." Ken kept her head down, concentrating on making the sandwiches. "She said she knew for a long time. That she was afraid it was going to happen here, in this reality. That's why she was freaking, the loss of control, Tara being in Buffy's dream."

"Shit, it was becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy?"

"Yeah, pretty much. But we talked it all out and we're good now. I even think we're better."

I put my arm around her shoulders and give her a quick squeeze, "Glad to hear it my friend."

"So what time did Buffy get in on Christmas, or was it the next morning?"

I laugh, "She prided herself on making it back for Christmas, if only by 15 minutes."

"So that must have been a nice surprise," Ken looks up at me.

"Yeah," I nod, "a very nice surprise."

Buffy pops her head in, "There are surprises? I adore surprises." I can't help but laugh as she comes in, grabs a piece of salami then kisses my cheek, "Which one is mine?" She points longingly at the neat row of sandwiches.

Looping an arm around her waist I hold her to me, "Whatever one you want," I whisper in her ear as I drizzle some roasted peppers over them with my free hand.

"Hmm, I like that, whatever I want." She grabs one and starts to dress it with a little balsamic vinegar and olive oil.

Ken regards her for a minute, "Judging from your mood, things when well in Zurich?" then she grins at me, "Or are you just happy to be home?"

B unleashes one of her 24,000 mega watts smiles, "Both!" she replies emphatically. "Kristen is working her way back to stable, her friends and family now know some of the warning signs so if it happens again, we'll all be better prepared. Her watcher is putting her on research for a while so that should also calm her down somewhat." Then she looks at me, "Our family is all together for the Holidays, why wouldn't I be happy?"

Ken gives me a sideways glace, "So you never told her about Will?"

"I, ah, didn't really get the chance." Damn, I think I'm blushing, how embarrassing.

"What? What's with Will?" B looks to both of us.

Ken grins again, "No worries, it's all good now." She sees the confusion and concern start to cloud B's face, "just talk to her when you get a minute alone. She kinda needed her best friend last week."

"Oh my God, what happened? Why didn't anyone call me? Faith? I talked to you every day…" I get a very hard stare from B.

Ken holds up her hands, "Whoa, Buff, really, not a crisis, just go out for mochas or something ok?"

"Ok." B says warily, eyes darting back and forth between us.

Dawn and Red come in laughing, "We did it again," they call out together.

"We rock," Dawn gives Red a high five.

I shake my head, "No way you two got the spell already, no way."

Dawn grabs a sandwich and leans over to me, "So way, didn't you hear? We rock."

Red takes one too, "It's actually a variation of the one we used to fight Adam, Buffy. But now instead of Giles and Xander we'll have Faith and Emma with us: Spirit, Heart, Mind, Hand."

"Ugh, do we have to call on Sineya again? Cause I've really had it with all the freaky dreams lately and would rather stay in waking reality." B takes a huge bite of her sub.

Red shakes her head, "No, but it is a joining spell, and Sumerian too, so similar. This time we are going to call directly to the Ereshkigal, we're going right to the top. Also not sure about staying in the 'waking reality' it's more a nether realms thing."

"Wow," Buffy just looks at her, "you can do that?"

"No," Red returns the gaze and quickly replies, "we can do that," then she grins. She seems like she's getting back to her old self. I'm glad.

B shakes her head silently admitting Red got her cold on that one. We bring our subs over to the table and sit as Emma and Andrew come in.

Red continues, "Dawn and I think we figured more than just the spell out and man it's been a long time in the making. But thanks to Andrew and the magic print idea, as well as the last three days of research Dawn and I just did, this is all beginning to make a whole lot of sense. In fact a great deal of what's happened over the years is now making all kinds sense."

"Shit, Red with a lead in like that you can't stop now, come on spill it."

"Ok, although the ground-work was laid way before this, we pick up the hard trail in the spring 1998. And you ask what happens? Well first, on April 30th Emma was born, she had a heart murmur, which is not uncommon for a newborn, so no one is worried. But on May, 12th when she went into cardiac arrest, her parents immediately preformed CPR and brought her back to the hospital."

Red sees my eyes get wide then nods at me showing me she knows what I'm thinking. B watches our interaction and puts her hand on mine. I clasp it tightly.

Red then catches Emma eye, "Your parents obviously did a great job with the CPR as you're sitting here right now, but you died that day, only for a minute, then you were reborn, as was Faith that day. Because on May 12th Kendra was killed by Drusilla and Faith was called as the Slayer." She looks from me to Emma, "The fact that you two were born and re-born on the same day is just one of the many reasons the bond between you two is so strong."

Dawn is glowing with pride, "Ok, you can say it, we're amazing right?"

Everyone is pretty much blown away, heads are shaking all are speechless, well except for me, "Damn straight you are, and I know you're not even half way done, right?"

"No," Dawn continues giving Red a chance to take her first bit of her sandwich. "Now as for you guys sharing the same print, we figured that one out too: Emma was born with the link to the Goddess because, well it's literally in her blood. But Will and I think the PtB gave you the exact same powers that Emma inherited for a reason, along with the same magic print.

Red picks it up, "And Buffy, when you died, then I brought you back, you carried the print of the underworld with you, Her print."

Red got a little quiet then took a huge breath, "And me? Well, just like Tara told you, I was meant to kill Rack, to take his power as my own and form a link to the Goddess. I rejected Her print years ago because I thought it was attached to Rack's evil. But when she coursed her power through me last month, it was pure, and a little more than I could handle not being ready for it." She turns to Ken, "Babe, the other night I told you that I could feel the power calling to me and I was afraid of it. But now that I understand it, can separate it and truly know it is not the power that's evil, it was Rack that was evil. Now I can embrace it and use it as it was meant to be used."

Looking around the room Red locks eyes with each of is for a moment before continuing, "Look, here's the deal: the four of us share the same magic print, and if Andrew didn't show us the energy waves I never would have believed it. But it is exactly the same; it was meant to be this way so we can keep whatever power struggle is going on between the Gods away from our world here. The PtB set this in motion, only they can know how many years ago, and probably everything we've done has been for this fight right now."

"Will, if what you're saying is right, then this is huge. Like the end of Sunnydale huge." B sounds a little stunned.

"We did it then, we can do it again, right?" Dawn asks.

Andrew just looks at her and nods.

Ken speaks up, "I guess it was a good thing to tell Vi and Rona to hop a plane this morning then, huh?"

I nod, "Back up is always a good thing."

Emma takes a breath, "What will happen if we can't do it?"

Then we are all very quiet. And I think we're a little scared.

Buffy, looks at all of us and smiles confidently, "We can do this."