Disclaimer: Gainax seems to be thwarting my attempts at taking Eva from them, the only option I have left open to me is an inside job. Hopefully they'll accept my application and then, well... you know, I'll think about it when I get there.

A Day In The Life Of

Class of the Tiny Titans/ Enter Great Teacher Largo

The school was a sturdy structure to say the least, metal support beams crisscrossing each floor of it's body, concrete reinforced by means of iron bars laid within. Even with all of this, the building was still just a product of pre- second impact technology and as such was acutely aware of it's own failings. So much so that it had recently developed quite the inferiority complex whilst being surrounded by the towering constructs of titanium that composed most of the skyline of Tokyo-3.

Knowing this it felt a disturbing sense of dread as it sensed the largest threat to it's continued existence returning. This threat not being angel or Eva, those where dangers indeed but far being the most so, approaching was Asuka. The building knew from painful experience that metal and concrete was not enough to keep the combined conflict of the three stooges and Asuka confined. Its sides still ached, courtesy of the repairs necessary to fix the hole through which Touji had been hurled the previous week. The building however breathed a sigh of relief as it noticed the second child was currently incapacitated and returned to its existence as an inanimate structure incapable of conscious thought once more.

The walk to school for Shinji was relatively uneventful, save for the few minutes he had to spend explaining to the police the reasons behind his having an unconscious fourteen year old girl in a wheelbarrow. Apparently, this led to suspicion on the part of the authorities, yet another lesson for the day. Thanks to the nice folks in section two however, he managed to avoid any serious troubles. After a brief moment of silence for those officers, he continued on his way.

"Hey look Asuka, we're at the school."

He looked down, as had been established way back in time, all the way to chapter one. The mention of school had long ago surpassed a bucket of cold water when it came to the preferred manner of shocking people back into existence. As such, Asuka's vivacious romp through LaLa land was cut short. This was most unfortunate since, given just a few more minutes, she would have crushed the remnants of the rebellion and held all of LaLa land in her iron grasp.

'Ah well' She mused 'You can't win them all'

Our heroes entered the school only to discover that something was indeed amiss. There where no groans of infinite suffering echoing through the halls. The class was void of the clacking of keys on a laptop. Perhaps most surprisingly of all, everyone in attendance seemed to be… Awake. This was a shock indeed, fortunately for Asuka she still hadn't regained an awareness of her surroundings and wasn't privy to the shock Shinji felt. A new presence entered the room as Asuka seethed.

"Wonder girl."

"Pilot Sohryu," Rei nodded. "Pilot Ikari, I had thought you'd killed Pilot Sohryu. It would appear I was mistaken."

Now if Shinji didn't know any better (which he didn't) he would've sworn he heard a hint of disappointment in Ayanami's voice. In fact if one where to read in to the inflection just a bit more, one could probably detect a hidden promise to help hide the murder weapon if he should ever chose to do so. Although one would not need to read too deeply, since not but three days ago she had given him a map of Tokyo-3 labelled "Places to hide Murder weapon". Shinji was beginning to understand why Rei seemed to be his fathers' favourite, because if she wasn't; he was sure she would have killed him. Making a mental note to stay at least 5 metres away from this new "Scary Rei" as he had deemed her. Shinji sat at his desk preparing once more to have stories of second impact and the teachers life beaten into his brain.

The boy was beginning to worry, as he seemed to always do, the teacher was yet to arrive and it was nearing 10 minutes after lunch, the other denizens of the class all appeared to be waiting patiently for the professors' return. This was not a common occurrence, not common in this case meaning "never". Shinji decided perhaps it would be best to ask why this was. Before he could however, a soft monotone voice behind him muttered.

"The professor is sick, we have been assigned a substitute. It would appear the professor can be replaced as well."

Shinji let the whole "can be replaced" comment slide. This bringing the grand total of ignored comments by Rei concerning replacement to fourteen hundred and thirty-two. The reason behind this not being confusion, but more he just really didn't want to think about it.

"So where is he?"

"Upon my return he referred to me as "3v1L 1" and leapt from the window, he has not been seen since."

For those of you who have never been in a classroom consisting entirely of 14 year olds, no mater how involved they happened to have been with something, they do have a limit, this limit being the attention span of a gnat. And given more than 15 minutes left to their own devices, will almost always degenerate into chaos. On another note, if you have never been in a classroom of 14 year olds, this fic is rated T, why the hell are you reading this?

Chaos setting in, the students began to mull about, making casual conversation with all those around them. Touji and Kensuke eventually made their way over to Shinji's desk.

"Hey Shin-man, where've you and the Red Devil been? Second honeymoon?"

Much to the chagrin of the three stooges, Asuka happened to overhear their subtle jabbing at Shinji. While under normal circumstances she didn't care if anyone where to insult Shinji, in her mind it simply rescued her from the effort of having to do so herself. Two of the Stooges however made the grievous error of including her into their slight. Specifically in reference to acts between Shinji and herself, which she would rather have avoided the thought of. She readied her desk above her head and proceeded to launch it at the offending party.

"Hey, what the hell was that for, we don't care about your superiority complex, just bugger off."

"Einen Überlegenheitskomplex zu haben bedeutet schlicht und einfach zu wissen, dass man besser ist" (Having a superiority complex is just being better and knowing it.)

"What?"

"Exactly."

The stooges decided to ignore the comment, this being the tactic they use on most things they don't understand. As you could imagine, they tend to ignore a great many things in this world. Things like Jell-O for instance, or British comedies, were quickly dismissed by the two. They instead chose to take the phrase as an affirmation of their previous assumption

"Hey no fair Shinji, you've already seen Ayanami naked, now Asuka too?"

Asuka was about to reply, she truly was, but it was then that the words "already" "Ayanami" "Naked" and "seen" chose to sink in. Quickly rearranging them into an order that made more sense she was shocked. For the more perceptive of my readership you would note that this was the final shock that Asuka's mind could take. The entire class heard a loud "pop!" from the area around Asuka's head

And that's when all hell broke loose.

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Gendo stared into his closet, the suits laid out before him all but identical to the naked eye. In fact, Gendo usually gave no thought to which suit he was to pick out on any given day but today, he was unsure. He examined two suits, one with a crease one inch to the left, the other one inch to the right. He couldn't choose.

"This is all the boy's fault."

It certainly was. He resolved to inflict upon the boy another emotional scar in response to this perceived grievance.

Eventually he decided upon the suit with the crease to the right, if for no reason than to bother that Maya girl. Why she in fact cared so much was unknown to Gendo, but it could be a weakness to exploit. Donning the clothes he muttered to himself.

"It's all going according to plan."

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PenPen sat alone in his study, scrawling away on a shred of paper, his plans for world domination. He made as close an attempt at a smile as any penguin could, which of course surmounted to a "Wark". This particular plan was perfect, this plan would make him supreme ruler of the entire world, this plan… required opposable thumbs. Damn.

The penguin crumpled up his paper and threw it into his trash bin, now overflowing with failed plans at world domination. Deciding that instead of world domination he would watch the discovery channel, they where having a special on the mating habits of birds and he was sure as hell not gonna miss that.

He just wished Gendo would stop rooting through his garbage to steal all of his evil plans, one of these days that guy's going to need to come up with a plan on his own, or at least pay him for them.

--------------------------------

Earlier that day.

Hikari was having a wonderful day. Upon hearing that they were to have a supply teacher she had begun to worry profusely for her sanity. With the knowledge that it was in fact the most revered English teacher in all of Japan, her mind was set at ease. Apparently he was even referred to as "Great Teacher Largo". She went so far as to entertain the hopes that this teacher could mayhaps reign in the normally unruly class. She was beginning to envision fantasies of an orderly classroom, structured in identical rows, all silent and heading every word of the teacher. It was her paradise, her Eden. Her dream however was shattered with one word as the strange looking Gaijin with a name tag labelled "L4RG0".

"j0 cl455."

Kensuke poked his head up from his laptop for perhaps the first time since they had been introduced to the classroom and responded.

"j0"

Poor, poor Hikari.

--------------------------------

Deep within the bowels of Terminal Dogma once more, Ritsuko stood peering into a tank packed with Reis, the heart of the dummy plug system. Noticing a particular clone was suspiciously absent; she began to fret. This particular incarnation of Rei not being one the doctor wished to release upon the public at large. Finally still unable to locate her, she turned to her companion.

"Maya, when I told you to activate a new Rei, which one did you use?"

"Oh, number one, I thought it best that we start going in numerical order, make it easier to keep track of you see."

Ritsuko looked at Maya with a unique blend of shock and horror. She then wondered if perhaps she had, in her busy schedule, forgotten to inform her young protégé as to the finer points of the dummy plug system.

"Maya," She started "you do know that there are certain Rei bodies that are meant specifically for use in the dummy plug and are not to be activated right?"

"Really? Why is that?"

"Well they each house a certain aspect of the kind of personality we wanted to give the plug."

Maya was beginning to understand that perhaps her minor oversight was in fact not so minor at all. She hoped in vain it was just an insignificant part of the plugs "personality", not wishing to believe that she had rendered such an expensive project unusable. Finally she decided to ask.

"Which part was Number one?"

"You remember when the Dummy Plug ripped apart that Touji boys Eva and crushed the plug?"

"Yes."

"Well, Number one was the part that made the dummy plug such an ass."

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(A/N) Dun, Dun, Dun, the plot thickens, sort of. By now it's probably closer to the consistency of some sort of swill, but it is thickening. I decided to have the "Great Teacher Largo" part broken up into sections throughout the fic, they'll act sort of as flashbacks. I could tell you it has to do with some literary devices and such, but in reality it's just I'm not that funny and cant do justice to the original, so maybe in small doses it'll be funnier. If any of you have no clue where he's from, I order you to go read Megatokyo right now.

You'll probably notice that little the bit of realism I left huddling in a corner of this fic will be entirely demolished next chapter as your willing suspension of disbelief is put to the ultimate test.

Also I know this chapter wasn't quite as funny as the last few, but it needed to be done, I put off way to long that whole "plot" thing, so I needed to make up for lost time.

Also thank you once more for reveiwing, all of you who have, when PenPen finally conquers the world, I'll put in a good word for you, hopefully you'll be used as slave labour rather than killed.

Finally a big thanks goes out to Rioes for pre-reading this, hopefully he made it slightly more readable for you guys.

Have a good one eh.