Disclaimer: I don't own Star Ocean it belongs to Square/Tri-Ace

A/N: Yeah it took me awhile. This all stuff on what's everyone doing. There's not AxS in this chapter and as I said this one is shorter then all the rest because the one before this one was longer.

Part 19

"Hey babe, how far are we till we're at the ship?"

"Hm…just a little further."

The air reeked of an old forest teaming with odd creatures that stalked the shadows. They were only mere compared to the dangers these two who walked through them faced.

He yawned, stretching his arms behind his head.

She laughed, "So…Cliff…a little tired I see. You'll probably asleep the entire trip home."

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. The words didn't even process through his skull. The only thing able to tell he was alive was the breath coming from his lips.

"You're already asleep and we're not even at the ship yet. You must be really fatigued."

' This is quite odd. I can feel his eyes behind me and I don't know what to do. Should I be acting any different? We've been friends for so long; I don't even know how to act around him other then just taking orders from him. I know how to act around someone of his classification to me and I've thought about it for so long but…where to go from here?

I eventually did asked him about that letter he writing just after Luther's defeat. I mentioned to him that I saw my name and Nel's name were upon that piece of paper along with a few other phrases that I glanced at. His words were priceless.

"Oh yeah, that old thing. I was writing to my mom. No big deal. I heard she'd been sick and she wanted to know how you were and Nel since she was convinced that I was in love with her. She had been trying to set me up with you for the longest time. It was just a few discussions of the family and when she gets sick, you just gotta tell her how you are, everything's ok, and that you love her. If ya don't, you know how she is. She gets all worried. What did ya think?"

That was quite embarrassing. The he did confess to me he loved me, which I couldn't agree more and tell him that I had felt the same for so long…'

Immediately she was tackled from behind, bringing her from her thoughts, her body pinned to the ground. She cried out in surprise but shifted her body weight to roll onto the heavy form.

She twisted her arm to elbow the attacker only to find a coughing Cliff lying below her. His arms were in the air, submitting to her attacks.

"I was just trying to surprise you. No need to throw a fit."

She sat up, sitting upon his abdomen. Her blue eyes, piercing Cliff's own.

An idea suddenly sparked him, "Hey, Mirage…now that we're actually down here, we shouldn't get up. Why not have some fun?"

"We're almost at the ship, it's less then a mile. We can practically see the haul."

He moved over her body, "It is only a little over a mile but that means we can just remises here for awhile." A cocky smile graced his lips, his shinning azure hues, already begging her to stay a little longer.

She sighed, "Fine…"

The waves washed up along the shore, the footprints clear in the sand of those who walked upon the ground. The path led to voices, speaking of past memories, a clearly plutonic relationship.

"I must say that this was bound to happen. I should have known these events would pass. I was blinded by fantasy; I should never let that happen again." Hallow words spoke, of broken hearts.

She stared into the water, leaning against the far back cliff. There was a sense of nothing else around her but her own thoughts. The few words that echoed from her partner occasionally broke her of her mind's set.

And so he was speaking again, "Yeah, at least you had some control over what happened to you."

He shook his cerulean hair, angry to annoyed. Guilt was playing him, whispering to him, mocking him.

'If only you were strong enough, if you wanted her enough, if you loved her enough. But it was obviously not enough. That was your fault. If you had the strength to protect her, see through everything, she would be alive with you.

You might have been able to have her, not Albel. It's your fault. Your fault. You couldn't do anything. You lost her. You could have done something. You loved her, but still just before the end, Albel had her. He stole her from you. Too late now. If you went all the way to the beginning it was your fault, you killed her.

You could have told her but you forgot. Maria was able to convince your soul, does that mean you didn't love her enough?

Shut up, I loved her. I wanted to, I was trapped. Maria was too strong; I couldn't do anything. Don't ever say I didn't love her enough. She was everything to me.

Then why didn't you tell her? You couldn't. You could never. You were always weak. Weakling. Weakling. Weakling. All you are is a weak little stupid idiot.

…I killed her. I could have done something. I didn't do anything. I'm so dumb, even Cliff would have tried something. But I was just so stuck, I couldn't move. I am weak…'

"I am weak. I'm nothing. If I couldn't even save my father, why did I even think I cared about her enough to save 'her.' She died because of me." He murmured, almost too softly for Nel to hear him.

"It's not your fault at all. She lived happily, that's all that matters," she spoke, trying to use her words to comfort Fayt.

She knew not really what to say in this situation, her life had been mostly business and to forget those you cared about because there were more things important, like everyone else in the world. Now because of that, she had no idea how to deal with this.

She was used to saying, 'It was for a good cause. Now that it is over, that is it. No gripping. Just go on, we must continue and not slow done.'

Her words were not enough to compel him back into sanity. His actions would become rash; drastic was the only thing that seemed left.

Fayt ran into the water head on. He dived in, taking only a single breath before he divulged his entire body beneath the surface of the breaking waves of late morning.

She watched him with curiosity, not moving very much to stop his actions. This, she knew how to handle; this was something only he could solve. But now she was alone, her eyes stuck on the point where he ducked underneath to the truth in himself.

'Well, I will be surprise if I see him anymore. I expect that a normal person would drown himself in sadness if left alone there long enough. But Fayt is not normal by any means, but still he exists and that is his weakness.

Maybe I should follow his lead, and just find myself again. But have I truly lost such a thing? I do not think so; I would not. The queen and all others would find that very peculiar. I shall wait; maybe I'll see him return by nightfall. If not, I shall move and leave, pronouncing him dead to the world.'

Now there seemed little left for her, now that the small excitement was gone, Fayt doing something irrational, but again she would draw back to Cliff and Albel. What would she do now?

'Perhaps, I should take the blame. I feel as if I led Cliff on just to spite Albel. Did I truly love either of them? I'm not sure; I've lost what that feeling was like. Perhaps, I felt it for a moment, when I wanted my past love back. Was that true or just the satisfaction of desire?

Never have I felt so lost, never have I felt this anxious for time to pass. Why do I feel like this? This feels so empty without someone. Maybe I should go back to the queen and work until I find another love if I am so lucky. There is truthfully nothing much to do but help the people of my country rather then just keep thinking of what I have lost. I must move on.'

He swam far into the pure waters that used to flow from the sacred orb; just enough so that his feet could no long touch the sand. His head took one last breath and he let himself go limp, aloof in the waters so that he could only hear the loud sounds of waves underneath and his thoughts. Surrounded by only him.

Small creatures swam past his body, occasionally not realizing his warm living body would brush against him as if he were a solid form only to scurry away in discovery that he was not such thing. He fell so deep; the very tips of the seaweed in the semi-deep water and slow current brushed against the bottom of his foot, tickling him a bit and making him fidget uncomfortably.

His eyes closed, letting himself into the darkness of his mind. There seemed to be an echo of his voice while he wandered, searching for himself. At first there was nothing there but the aching in his heart, a good part of himself but not his mind of logic that he needed to sort out his heart to this point.

Everything was thick and hazy, everything was almost tangible and harder to search through or even move through at an extremely slow rate. His mind felt swallowed up in the darkness, the wall that would not let him pass to get to his heart. In this small time, his heart had constructed a wall to shut up everything, especially the pain and others. He was going to use logic to pry it open as hard as it was, he would do so until it crumbled and he would have a clear view of where he was going.

And for a long time, his head did not break the surface of the water. There was only an anxious serene feeling that could be cut with a knife. It heavy with a mental fog; everything was in a stand still, seeming to just wait for Fayt to come out of the waters, if he was going to come out.

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