Chapter 19

"That's your third cup, shouldn't you be slowing down a tad bit?" Paige questioned her oldest nephew as he yet again poured himself another cup of steaming coffee.

"No," he solemnly replied as he started to down the coffee in a couple of gulps and reached for the coffee pot once more.

One week had passed since the "incident". One long week. As expected, the atmosphere in the manor was of mourning and tension as everyone walked around with solemn looks and a sense of apprehension.

"He up there?" Phoebe asked as she sat at the kitchen table still clad in her robe, all thoughts of work forgotten. She had already explained the circumstances to her boss and had not shown up for work for the past week.

Piper nodded with her arms crossed against her chest, "I heard the baby cry when I walked past the steps."

Chris for the past week had been strung tight and had his hands full with his new baby girl. From the instant he brought her home, he was unable to relinquish his grip on his new daughter and refused anyone's offering of lending a hand.

Consequently as a single parent, he was spreading himself thin. Up all night with a crying baby, rushing around trying to get clean diapers while also managing to heat up a bottle. Even when the slightest suggestion of wanting to help was mentioned from one of his family members, he would snap back with a "I can handle it!"

"Whose gonna bring him up breakfast?" Ryan inquired as he watched his mom setting up a tray.

When no one replied, Wyatt sighed with exasperation, "I'll do it."

Chris sat in the attic with a bundle wrapped in a blanket snuggled between his arms. His hair was disheveled and in need of a haircut as well as a good washing, his clothes wrinkled and also in need of a washing. Upon looking into his face, his eyes were sunken and red with exhaustion and his cheek bones were protruding due to the lack of fat.

Despite his appearance, he was beaming down at a wide awake baby who was now gurgling in response to seeing her father's face.

Upon hearing a knock on the door, he raised his head to see an uncomfortable Wyatt standing at the door with a tray of food in his hands, "Mom wanted me to give this to you."

Nodding his head, Chris nudged his head towards the side table, "Just put it there."

Wyatt did as he was told, once his hands were free he walked behind the couch where Chris sat rocking his daughter and kneeled down behind them.

"She's beautiful."

In return, Chris just smiled and replied, "Just like her mom."

"No, she has your green eyes," Wyatt grinned down at his new niece.

When the baby began fussing and scrunching up her face, Chris stood and began walking around the room while making hushing sounds, "You're alright, it's okay."
Watching his younger brother pace around the room, Wyatt thought he would surely pass out since he hadn't eaten a thing for the past week. He could see the signs of exhaustion on the younger teens face.

"Chris, let me watch her for a bit and you take a nap. You haven't slept for a week! Besides, I think some uncle-niece bonding is in order here," Wyatt offered light heartedly.

At the mention of help, Chris tensed, "I'm fine. Just….. leave me alone right now."

Knowing how wound up his brother was, Wyatt decided to leave it as a failed attempt rather than argue and have his brother blow up in his face.

With the death of Bianca still fresh on Chris's mind, he was a ticking bomb. What worried Wyatt the most was that with all his time occupied with his daughter, Chris had not yet had time to even mourn. His Aunt Phoebe had deemed it, "denial".

"Chris-"

"Just get of here."

With his back turned to the door, Chris was able to relax his shoulders once the sound of the door closing in its place was distinctly heard.

Shaking his head clear of any thoughts, he went back to pacing the room at a soothing speed and gently swaying his baby girl asleep.

"Chris?"

Startled, Chris jumped in surprise at the sudden voice. He quickly found himself relieved as he looked down to see the angelic face of his still sleeping daughter.

Turning around, his face turned into a gentle frown as he asked in a puzzled tone, "I don't remember summoning you….."

Rolling her eyes in return, she gently replied in a teasing manor, "Well I got tired of waiting for an invitation so I just kinda decided to crash the party."

Seeing the solemn look on Chris's face, her demeanor dropped from its playful tone to one of sincerity, "Well desperate times call for desperate measures. I came to check on how you're holding up and to meet my new grand-niece."

"Well a warning next time would be helpful, aunt Prue."

Smiling, she waltzed over to where Chris was standing behind the Book of Shadows and placed an arm around his shoulder as she peered down into the bundle of blankets, "She's beautiful…."

Nodding his head with a proud grin, Chris was more than pleased as he replied with a confident, "She's just like her mother."

At the mention of Bianca, Prue winced but ignored it as she gently prodded Chris, "Can I hold her?"

Chris looked up into green emerald eyes, his own eyes and quickly looked away as he saw only pity and grief at the situation, "I don't really like anyone holding her but me…."

"Chris, it's me! You're Aunt Prue! Take a breather while I get to know the newest edition to the family."

Swinging around, Chris stared into her eyes with a dead-straight face, "If you're here to get me to talk about what happened. You can just leave. I don't want to talk about anything. She's gone, its over, I'm moving on."

Shaking her head with grim, Prue gently placed a warm hand on the sole of his back, "That's not how it works Chris….. If you don't deal with your problems, its only going to culminate and get worse."

Closing his eyes with his head bowed, Chris took in a deep breath before laying the sleeping bundle in her bassinet. As he fiddled around with the blankets making sure she was completely tucked in, Chris softly spoke with his back turned towards his aunt, "Could you please just go back."

With a troubled look, Prue folded her arms across her chest, "Not until we talk about Bi-"

Swinging his body around with full force, Chris marched into his aunt's face with pure grief and frustration as he hissed, "You can't tell me what to do or what not to do! You weren't here for any of it! So don't try to tell me what I should be doing right now! Right now I have a child to raise and that's what I'm doing! Anyone who objects can just fuck off!"

And with that he turned his back to her once more as Prue gave her nephew one more agonized look before floating into millions of white orbs.

A laughing Bianca stared at Chris from across the table, "Why would you ever think that! Of course I'll always be next to you!"

'Not again' Chris thought to himself as his mind began to flash back to old memories… memories that he had been trying so hard to suppress.

"Love you! Always and forever, right Chris?"

'Stop it!' he felt his mind begin to squeeze and the pressure of the room increased ten folds as he pounded on his head to make them go away….

Bianca had her feet raised up onto the table as she rubbed her pregnant belly, "Yup, me and this baby here have it good."

Chris scrunched up his face with confusion, "Why?"

She giggled as she replied, "'cause we got a big strong warrior to protect us no matter what happens!"

Gripping his hair with both fists, face screwed up with concentration on forcing back his memories, Chris suddenly sprung up onto his two feet as he dived into a spare box in the attic that held many supplies. Rifling through everything and tossing things aside as he desperately rummaged through, he found the target of his search and stared down upon the object in his hands.

'Don't do it Chris…. It's not what she would want you to do! She helped you stop!"

'It'll make everything go away…. You won't have to remember…. You won't have to hear her…..'

'You don't need it!'

'Do it!'

'Stop!'

'It'll let you stop hurting….'

After his last thought… Chris hesitated before grabbing the object with a quick rush and turning away at his disgust on what he was about to do…..

TBC……