Disclaimer: I don't own anything OTH related. Transcripts were taken from twiztv.
Chapter 3
"Alright, so what's going on with Tiny Tim now?" Peyton asked sarcastically.
Her dark self, stopped braiding her long black hair and threw her a questioning look, "Since when did we like Tim Smith?"
"Oh gross…I mean Tiny Tim…A Christmas Story…you know, Scrooge gets visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future…"
"Oh yeah, I know that story," The dark angel continued to braid her hair.
"So…" Peyton said, getting frustrated with the lack of answers.
"So…what?"
"So, my good side took me down memory lane…aren't you supposed to show me the present…like what I'm doing right now?"
"Well…right now you're walking and talking to me,"
Peyton rolled her eyes. Talking to herself was not only impossible but frustrating as well. "You know, I'd like to get some sleep tonight, so if you wouldn't mind…"
"Alright, fine," she picked up the remote and pressed play.
Peyton began to blush as she watched herself, in a black cocktail dress, and Lucas kiss passionately. Hastily, she removed his jacket as their passion escalated.
"Don't need this…" Peyton said as she removed his jacket. "mmm, or this," she continued as she removed his tie, leaving kisses along the way.
"Wait…this already happened. Why are we still watching the past?" Peyton asked.
"Because someone can't seem to let go of the past," the dark angel replied smugly.
Lucas: I've wanted this for so long.
Peyton: Me too. And now we can have it.
Lucas: No, no, no. I don't mean just that. I want this.
Lucas puts his hand over her heart.
Lucas: You know? I want to be here. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton.
Peyton backs away, leaving a confused Lucas.
Lucas: Hey, what's wrong?
Peyton: This isn't supposed to be that.
Lucas: Peyton-
Peyton: Why couldn't you just leave it alone?
As she watched herself walk out of the Scott's bedroom, Peyton couldn't help be wonder what would have happened had she stayed that night: would she still be with Lucas? Would she be happy? Would she still have this nagging feeling of regret for walking away?
Peyton sighed as Lucas's porch steps suddenly came on the screen. There sitting on the top steps were her past self and Lucas who had his left arm in a sling.
LUCAS: Peyton…
PEYTON: When I saw you lying there in the hospital right after the accident all I could think about was how my mom wasn't was luck as you. And then I remembered, after she died, it was Brooke who was there for me. We were just little kids and she would come over, every single day, to make sure I was okay. She's been my best friend ever since.
LUCAS: Well life's short, Peyton.
PEYTON: Too short to live it as a bad person. I can't betray her, Lucas.
LUCAS: You mean even more than we already have.
Peyton stood up, getting ready to leave. She knew if she didn't leave right that second, his sad, pleading eyes would have been enough to change her mind.
LUCAS: Peyton. I'm sorry.
PEYTON: Me too. But it's better this way, right?
LUCAS: Yeah.
As Peyton walked away from the house and Lucas, tears began to fall. She paused halfway down the walkway. Her heart told her to turn around and to go back to Lucas, but her mind told her that this was for the best.
"Are you noticing a trend here?" the gothic ghost asked.
Peyton bit her lip. She noticed it alright. Whenever they had chance to be together, it was always Peyton who walked away. She was the one who pushed him away. But then, she thought, he could have easily gone after her if he wanted to.
"Oh he wanted to come after us…Lucas wants to be with us," the goth girl read her mind. "Why else do you think he keeps coming back into our life? But more importantly, why do we keep running from him?"
Peyton looked away. Her head filled with the same questions, thoughts and doubts. All her life she pushed people away, never letting anyone get to know the real Peyton or never wanting to get to know them. It was her nature – to protect herself from getting hurt when they would eventually leave her. But Lucas was different. Time and time again, no matter how hard she pushed, he was always there pushing his way right back into her life.
So then why did she run from him? It wasn't that she was unsure of her feelings for Lucas because deep down she knew exactly where her heart was. Maybe that was what really scared her. To be so young and to fall in love so hard, so fast was not just scary, but confusing. How could someone, who you barely know, just get you the way he did? How could he see through her façade when no one else could?
"So you finally admitting it?" The gothic angel interrupted her thoughts.
"Admitting what?"
"That you're madly in love with Lucas Scott,"
"I'm not," she denied, "Besides, even if I was, it doesn't change the fact that he's with Brooke,"
"So? Look, don't tell me that you're not gonna go after Lucas because you can't betray Brooke…cause honey, if you did and you should, you'd make everyone's life a hell of a lot better,"
Peyton shook her head, "I'm not doing that to Brooke again,"
Her gothic conscience rolled her eyes, "You're a much better friend then B. Davis deserves you know…I mean if she was a friend then she would have been there for us when we were missing dad or even dealing with Rick…or what about when we needed someone to talk to about Elle? Where was she when we needed help finding Ellie's bracelet…does she even know about it?"
"She was busy," Peyton tried to believe.
She shook her head in disbelief, "You know, you told Lucas that to be a better person it's not about what you say, it's about what you do…what exactly has Brooke done?"
"She's got enough to worry about now…she doesn't need to carry my weight too,"
"Would you stop making excuses for her? It's getting real tiresome. If she's the best friend that you claim her to be, then she'd make time for you. She'd know about all the shit you've been dealing with the past year,"
The girl dressed in black took a calming breath before continuing, "Besides, Lucas was busy too, but he still found time for you. In fact…didn't he have plans with Brooke the night he found you crying in your room trying to find the bracelet? Not only did he find the bracelet for us, but he bailed on Brooke," the smug girl crossed her arms as she made her point. A smile then broke out on her face as she remembered something else, "Oooh…what about the road trip to find Ellie? Wasn't he supposed to help Brooke with her clothing line or something?"
"Well, if Brooke is such a bad friend, then what kind of a friend would I be if I stole Lucas away from her, again?" Peyton debated.
The black-winged angel thought for a second, "Well, first of all you wouldn't be stealing him…he'd come willingly," she said confidently, "Secondly, if Brooke is such a good friend, then why won't she let us be happy?"
Peyton shook her head, "Her being with Lucas has nothing to do with me. If Lucas wanted to be with me then why is with Brooke?"
"He's not with Brooke right now," she reminded Peyton that Brooke had stayed back in Tree Hill that weekend. Then she shrugged her shoulders, "Look, I can't read his mind like I can yours, but maybe it's because being with Brooke is easier. No matter how many mistakes she makes or how many guys she kisses or sleeps with, he knows she'll never truly break his heart,"
"See…he does love her,"
The dark conscience shook her head, "For someone who's doing the same thing, you sure don't get it,"
"And what exactly would that be?"
"Hiding…You can't have your heart broken if you're not with the one you truly love,"
Peyton bit her lip and looked at her goth self from the corner of her eye.
"Clearly, I'm not getting though to you…I can show you how Lucas has always been there for us or how he looks at us still or how he's our first call and we're his. But you still deny it," she got up off the bed, "Maybe you need to hear it from someone else…and I hope you do before we lose him for good,"