17. Coming Out
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics or the song the Ange sings in this chapter! ENJOY!
That week went by faster than I could possibly believe. As the week progressed closer to the weekend, I grew more and more nervous. Saturday night was the big night—and it didn't help that Jack and I got into a bit of an argument on Friday night.
We had just had some pretty kinky sex when I asked him if he told his band about me. He hadn't.
"Jack! What the fuck! You told your brothers…"
"I didn't wanna tell them when I did! That was by accident!" I exclaimed, putting on his underwear.
"So you wish they didn't know?" I asked, feeling hurt. "Do I embarrass you?"
"Ange! You know I love you more than anything…"
"Then why the fuck do you want it to be a big secret? I love you too and I wanna tell the world! You even told the world when we were back in Boston! Why is Detroit different?"
"Ange—I have fans here…"
"Ohhh I see. You don't wanna lose all your female fans. Well, what about your biggest fan? Would you feel better if you lost me?"
"Ange, don't do this,"
"No Jack. Don't you do this. I understand you have fans—but I'm your girlfriend. If having a girlfriend is gonna fuck things up for you, then maybe we shouldn't be together," I could feel tears begin to build up in my eyes as I spoke. My heart was racing for his response. I turned my back to him as I felt the tears stream down my face.
"No Ange. I refuse to do that. You're my everything…" he was behind me and he turned me around to see me crying. I didn't even know what to say. I loved him too much to say something—I was afraid I'd hurt him.
"Ange, say something, please," he said softly, his voice low and serene.
"I don't want to hurt you, Jack," I choked out.
"Hurt me? The only way you'd hurt me would be if you broke up with me," he said. His eye widened with a sudden fear that I was going top dump him then and there. I shook my head and leaned against him.
"I'm not breaking up with you, Jack…"
"Then why did you suggest it?"
"Because you are making it seem like being with me is a burden for you to be in your band. I understand that music and your band are the most important things in your life and I don't want to interfere with that you cherish most…"
"You're what I cherish most," I couldn't believe he just said that. I was silent.
"Then why keep us a secret any longer?" I asked. He didn't say anything and my heart sank. "Oh my God, Jack—you don't have another girlfriend do you!"
"Good God, no, Ange! I'd never do that to you! I thought you knew me better than that," he said as he turned away from me and continued dressing himself.
"Then what is it, Jackie? If it's not another girl and if it's nothing else…then what is it?"
"The guys in the band are great guys—but I worry about the way they'd treat you, Ange—and that's completely the truth,"
"That's it?" I asked, a grin almost forming on my lips.
"Yes—but…well, you'll see when you meet them. Let me put it this way—you're the type of girl they'd try to take advantage of and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable…"
"Jack, if they're you're friends, I trust them…"
"That's the problem—I don't trust them," I looked at him confused. Finally he just broke down.
"We'll tell them. Just don't let me out of your sight tomorrow," he said, taking me in his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before and we had to have this argument over nothing,"
"It's okay Jack, cus I just figured out what I'm gonna sing,"
"Really? What is it!" he asked, getting excited.
"It's a surprise," I replied.
Saturday came…and I was so nervous to sing for Jack's band, as well as meeting these friends he didn't even trust. I decided to wear my Rolling Stones shirt, a pair of somewhat fitted jeans with some rips in them. Usually I wore my Converse sneakers to band concerts, but since I was performing, I figured I'd give myself a little height, so I wrote opened toed heels—not too high so that my feet would kill by the end. I wrote my hair curly, as usual, but just a little wilder than usual. Jack came and got me around 7. He looked amazing. His hair was all crazy and messy. He had on a black shirt with all kinds of weird stuff on it. It was ripped at the sleeves and he had on jeans with his typical pocket chain. He carried his guitar on his back. His eyes lit up as soon as he saw me. I smiled back at him.
Once we got to the concert space, we congregated backstage and I met his bandmates.
"Hey, guys this is my…" I elbowed him and gave him a glance as though to say "don't tell them I'm your girlfriend yet,"
"This is Ange. She's gonna open up for us tonight," Jack said. "Ange, this is Ralph, he plays 2nd guitar. This is Alex—he plays bass, and this is Pert—he plays drums," I shook all their hands.
"Nice to meet you guys," I said with a smile. They all seemed nice enough. We all joked around backstage for a while until Jack took me aside.
"Baby, you ready to go on?" He whispered. I looked at the clock.
"If you're ready to have me go on," I replied, taking a deep breath.
"There's a band that will play for you—do they know what you're singing?" he asked.
"Of course!" I smiled, getting pumped for the opening.
"Well get on out there, girl!" he laughed.
"Are you gonna watch?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? Of course! We'll all be watching,"
"Alright, then let's get this party started," I smiled. He nodded and then walked out on the stage and took the mic.
"Wassap Detroit? My name is Jack Mercer and I'm here with Pragmatic Sanction! We have a kick ass concert planned with a lotta bands playing this evening! Opening up for my band this evening is a great friend of mine…Ange D'agostino!" The audience roared as I came out on stage. Jack was about to leave the stage when I made him stay there. He looked at me as though I was crazy.
"YEAH ANGE!" I heard Angel and Bobby scream out from the crowd. I looked at Jack and we both laughed. I looked behind me and nodded to the band to begin playing. The lights came up on me and I turned to Jack and began singing.
Know all about…about your reputation,
And now it's bound to be a heart-break situation,
But I can't help it if I'm helpless every time that I'm where…you are,
You walk in and my strength walks out the door,
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore…
Oh I know I should go…but I need your touch just too damn much…
I walked over to him and the audience screamed louder, thinking this was all staged and planned. I began somewhat seducing him during the chorus part:
Lovin' you,
Yeah, isn't really somethin' I should do,
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah
But I should try to be strong…
Baby you're the right kind of wrong,
Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong!
By the end of the chorus, I had the audience in a roar. They were loving it. Jack was just in shock. He had no idea any of this would happen. I walked away from Jack for the 2nd verse:
It might be a mistake, a mistake I'm makin',
But what you're givin' I am happy to be takin'
Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms,
They say you're somethin' I should do without,
They don't know what does on when the lights go out,
There's no way to explain,
All the pleasure is worth all the pain…
By this point, the audience was howling—yet they seemed a little bit more in tuned to the message I was trying to send out…especially his bandmates, who I could see congregating backstage, jaws dropped at what they were seeing.
I walked back over to Jack and looked him in the eyes:
And lovin' you,
Yeah, isn't really somethin' I should do,
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah,
I should try to be strong,
But baby, you're the right kind of wrong,
Yeah, baby you're the right kind of wrong!
I should try to run but I just can't seem to
'Cause every time I run you're the one I run to
Can't do without what you do to me,
I don't care if I'm in to deep yeah!
At this time, the audience was getting quiet, mesmerized by this confession I seemed to be making to Jack.
I know all about,
Yea about your reputation
And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
Jack got over his initial shock, and took my hands as I led him further out onto the stage with me.
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it any more
Oh I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much
Hey-yeah
Lovin' you, yeah, isn't really something I should do
I shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah
Well I should try to be strong, I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kind of wrong
Baby you're the right kind of wrong
Baby you're the right kind of wrong!
I finished the song and the audience went crazy. I looked at Jack and we both smiled. He mouthed "I love you" to me and kissed me. He took the mic from me.
"One moment please," he said as he ran off stage with me. The audience laughed thinking the entire moment was staged. The audience didn't get it, but his bandmates definitely did. Jack pinned me against the wall backstage and kissed me.
"You never told us she was your girl, Jack," Ralph said. Jack stopped kissing me and he just laughed.
"Yeah I know—she did," he said. He kissed me once more. "I gotta go on stage now," he ran out on stage just as the rest of his band mates finished setting up their shit. Ralph followed Jack and I just sank to the ground, smiling. I did it. I sang and I outted Jack and I at the same time—though Detroit probably didn't get it. Well—after Jack's performance, they definitely knew.
"What's up Detroit! Give it up again for my girlfriend Ange!" The audience just went crazy. Jack outted us. I was shocked. I stood up and watched him. He suddenly came running over to me and dragged me back on stage.
"My girlfriend Ange!" he exclaimed and kissed me again.
I watched Jack and his band perform with a smile plastered on my face. Jack and I watched the rest of the concert together. We were both screaming and jumping up and down, hand-in-hand…smiles plastered on both our faces.