Joan Milligan – Thank you for the advice (although you really must learn to be quite!) and I've noticed two flaws in my writing: a) isn't using separate fonts for each character as I was when I originally wrote it (hence the character confusion…sorry) and b) I suck at changing my writing style so from now on I'm going to stick with what I normally do – I apologize for the rough start but hopefully things will now get better, and without further ado here is:

Chapter 6Fleeting Flying Fears

"Please don't crash, please don't crash, please don't…"

I'd been saying it quietly to myself for well over twenty minutes as if it were a holy mantra.

Not surprising really as this was the first time I'd ever flown.

Even enduring Misato's insane brand of driving didn't have this quality, I could always dive out the door if I saw danger coming but this experience was different in a whole new terrifying way.

I couldn't see the danger.

My field of vision was limited to the back of the seat in front of mine. The same grey plastic and three vertical lines each made from the primary colours. If this was to comfort me it certainly wasn't working it just made me think more of the view to my left.

Although the small window had its shade drawn it still seemed to positively emit evil to me, I'd watched in fascination as the aircraft had lifted off then as the people grew smaller and smaller, as the fall grew larger and larger the true realisation of what a hellish experience flying was.

I'd slammed down the sunshield without a second though and sunk back into the cushion of my seat with my white knuckled hands clutching the arm rest of my chair as if it offered some form of protection.

"Please don't crash…"

My mind drifted back to New Tokyo-3 which was only a small part of a small island but it was still my home; somewhere in that part of the world a few islands away were the three people I considered my family.

"Okinawa here we come!" a male voice yelled behind me and almost instantly a chorus of similar excited comments were echoed around the section designated for our school.

A small smile crept onto my white face without my intention as I listened to the sounds of the misled flight attendants trying to calm and quite our class.

Their voices small yet authorative being cheekily ignored by my fellow classmates and without teacher in any imminent position to punish them they were pushing their luck.

"Please don't crash…" I repeated without relaxing my grip upon the chair, the weakening plastic starting to grow brittle under the stress and pressure my hands could exert.

"Don't worry this plane won't crash, in fact it can stand up to extensive air pockets and turbulence" a male voice called from the seat directly in front of mine, a spectacled face looking at me from the small gap between seats.

My eyes snapped wide open, bloodshot and fearful.

"…turbulence…air pockets!" my voice was barely audible, little more then a squeak of fear.

"Kensuke stop it will ya? You're scaring him" Another voice began.

"I'm just pointing out fact Toji"

"You're the new kid aren't ya?" the boy dressed in a dark tracksuit consisting of white, purple and deep blues.

I nodded confirming my identity with my given name.

"Yes I'm Roji Kenbusa"

Asuka's given name for me still felt alien but I had decided to call myself by it for the time being.

"Shinji talks about you quite a lot" Toji declared resting with his arms behind his head; leaving me with a small view of his elbow

"You live with Shinji & Asuka?" Kensuke asked.

"Yeah" I could feel my fear receding and along with it the crippling grip upon the seat began to weaken.

Both faces turned to look at me before they yelled one question at me, wet spittle striking my face:

"SO YOU LIVE WITH MISATO?"

I recoiled deeper into the seat…shocked.

"…Yeah" I tentatively answered.

"SO WHATS SHE LIKE?"

"Well she can't drive or cook for that matter and she's really pushy in her teaching method but as a parental figure I can't argue" I answered truthfully.

"Parental figure?" Kensuke questioned.

I exhaled deeply, I wish every knew what little I knew about my past so I could stop repeating it to all and sundry, from most people my story got sympathy and a ton of advice that I'd already received from numerous people before.

I didn't have a family tree, no lineage to look back upon and I hated keeping this fact secret.

"I know nothing of my natural parents"

"Nothing?" Toji asked

"Nothing since two weeks ago" with the back of my palm I wiped the fresh tears form building up in my eyes.

"So Roji isn't your real name?" Kensuke asked

"Nope don't have a name…Roji was something Asuka cam up with on the spot" I answered with my regular sarcastic tone of voice which I'd adopted as of late.

"Well you can have my name if you want it" Kensuke said with eager emotion and emphasis.

I battered away his idea with a gesture of my hand:

"I'm fine with Roji or Mr X but thank you for the kind offer"

Bowing slightly to show my gratitude while still remaining seated…I still hadn't gained the courage to unbuckle my seatbelt.

"So you're Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida?" I asked leaning forward in my seat.

"Yep I'm Kensuke and this is Toji" Kensuke said gesturing between the two of them, Toji held up his hand in welcoming; a cool gesture I'd have to remember…both seemed very different then either myself or Shinji

With every male I meet I find it more and more difficult to define what masculinity is.

"Shinji's mentioned you guys, you know Rei?"

"Rei Ayanami?

"Yeah I've heard her name mentioned a couple of times at home"

"She's an Eva pilot…"

"And all Eva pilot are on combat stand by right? So there's no chance of meeting her?"

"Yep all three of those suckers are trapped at home" Kensuke confirmed

"But how about that six thirty start man that's going to be a killer"

All three of us nodded in agreement…all thoughts of the flight banished from my mind.

I've finally made some friends.

None of us had the knowledge of what was going on back in Tokyo-3.

I'd be given the condensed story from Misato when she picked me up from the airport back at the city.

Shinji & Asuka's versions were far more gripping accounts of the attempted capture of the 8th angel and its subsequent destruction.

However that's not my tale to tell, and although I did not witness that angel I knew I desired to see one of the enemy.

I'd see combat myself eventually but let me return to this current story before I get side tracked further.

By the time we touched down I'd already listened to Kensuke's dramatic account of the battle with Shamshel and both his and Toji's personal involvement with the battle, it also helped me fill in a few blanks about what precisely the Evangelion's looked like as I still hadn't seen them, in fact to be truthful my afternoon in the gym was the last time I'd been in NERV headquarters or central dogma…I'd still received no information about my job nor past although Dr Akagi had taken a whole spectrum of samples from me a week previous to our trip:

"Is this what makes us so unique?" I'd asked as she expertly slipped a thin needle beneath my skin without me experiencing pain.

"Our blood? Most creatures have some form of blood"

"No…" the slight sting of discomfort as the plunger was drawn backward.

"…the fact that we can examine it and not merely consume it"

"I suppose but there are parts of human history that weren't so great" Her eyes drawn to the red claret contained within the small glass tube.

"Second impact?" I questioned

"Not just that but the whole aftermath, war, genocide, cannibalism…the whole world went nuts"

"The spectrum of humanity has a darker side?" I stated philosophically

She nodded in satisfaction at the blood sample before passing it to Maya.

As she left Dr Akagi turned and from the doorway of the room said one statement I'd be toying over, contemplating on and thinking about for hours:

"Let's hope its only events like that which make it come from the darkness"

"…Lets hope" I'd said in a whisper.

"…And Shinji was screaming and we could all see the prog knife getting deeper and deeper and someone was counting down over the speakers…"

I'd tuned out somewhere but Kensuke's story was far less interesting a third time through, even Toji seemed uninterested and he had actually been there.

Our hotel room was pretty unimaginative but still felt comfortable.

The small heater under the window filled the room with pleasant warm air, we had the television on in the background but only Toji was really paying attention to the basketball game his eyes covertly glancing at the score line occasionally.

"So how many Evangelion's are there?" I asked changing the topic slightly.

"Three currently, unit 00 that's Rei's and it's the prototype, Unit 01 is Shinji's and that's the test type and its really cool there's plenty of room in the entry plug for three people and…"

"What about Asuka's?" Toji asked folding his arms across his chest…trying to course Kensuke back onto a topic we were actually interested in.

"That's unit 02 and it's the production model"

"You said currently?" I gestured with my hand

"NERV has given the second and third branches approval to build units 03 and 04, my dads team is personally overseeing the construction of unit 03, hopefully with contacts like that I can become an Eva pilot"

"It's not all fun and games Kensuke its war, you saw the pain piloting that thing did to Shinji he didn't show up to school for three weeks" Toji said.

"But it'd be really cool! Toji don't you want to become an Eva pilot?"

"Not really" he all but snorted out the reply

"How about you Roji?" Kensuke's gaze turning on me.

Do I want to not only see the enemy but fight them?

Declare my allegiance to humanity and defend it?

Maybe I could forge a stronger bond with my family

I shook my head in a negative response.

"I've got enough worries without fighting Angel's contributing to my problems" I stated clenching a fist then relaxing it.

"I suppose you have what you doing about your amnesia?"

"Nothing" I answered

"NOTHING!" the pair both yelled

"I'm happy where I am, if I've got a past I'm sure it'll make itself known someday, somehow"

I was speaking the truth; although I kept having momentary changes of my mind I knew I was happy in Tokyo-3.

I had a purpose in life, a family and friends and in some small way I was involved in fighting against the Angels:

I wasn't there on the battlefield but I helped support and make the lives of the pilots and Misato that little bit easier just by doing medial tasks such as cooking and cleaning but I knew I had both the strength and speed to protect them physically if I needed to.

"So you're happy being Roji?"

"Well I'm obviously not Japanese by origin, I'm obviously a westerner and lets not forget I can speak English…"

Another smile lighting up my features

"…which makes passing the English test easy peasy"

Toji slapped me on the back:

"It's alright for some" he muttered

"But you're going to teach us right?" Kensuke asked bowing down before me.

I laughed out loud

"Sure…now about payment…" I began

We argued long into the night until the class rep banged on the door for us to "keep it down" when we finally rolled out the futons and went to sleep.

The alarm clock woke us a mere four hours later.

We all scrambled to turn the accursed device off and in the new silence of the room we all looked upward at the ceiling.

"Six thirty start" we muttered simultaneously