chapter one: Why Me?
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Malfoy cried. Crabbe put his shoulder around him "what's wrong muffin tell me all about it". They were down in the Slytherin dormitory coming back from breakfast. Sniff "I'm having babe problems what do I do?" Crabbe smiled and scratched his head "I know just the thing" he got up and started throwing things out of his wardrobe, a pairof smelly trousers that smelled like his grandma babushca landedon Malfoy's head at that point the stench was unmerciful. "Ahh here it is this put this cologne on and you'll be sure to get all the chicks you'll ever want". (Evil laugh of doom from Malfoy).
Later that day………………….
"I hate detention," Harry said to Ron "oh well ill just write love letters to myself!" he thought he began to write Dear Harry… "Oh look its malfoy, He's so hot! Wait hot? O no sweaty palms, blushing warm fuzzy feeling inside anytime I say the word Noooo!"(Transforming) Malfoy Harry said to Ron. Their was a long pause from Ron twitch twitch "ummmmm…. Ron are you ok? Ron". "MY EYES THE ACID IT BURNS! IT'S THE APOCALPISE SINNERS REPENT!" and before you could say –Television- he was running out the room crying in some random first years lap screaming "why does it have to be this way where did I go wrong!" Anyway back to the story.
Malfoy was sitting with the Slytherins their when all of a sudden "hey there stud" Harry said with a wink "ummmmmmm…ok?" Draco stood their for a moment "looks like malfoy has a BOYFRIEND!" said a slytherin "lets laugh at him and squish his will to live!" Everyone joined in laughter "o Draco I just love your long wavy hair and your determination to squash my dreams hmmmm. In fact to prove my love I'll…" But before he could finish his sentence he was out the door and a few moments later "Ladies and gentlemen" Harry said over the intercom "oh crap eat me now someone" malfoy yelled "gladly!" Dumbledore said pulling out his wand. (Awkward glare) "ummm…. Where did you come from?" said Lavender Brown "oh no there on to me!" (Pulls out a smoke bomb and is gone with James Bond music in the background). "I'd like to dedicate this song to Draco Malfoy" Harry said and with that he broke into song…
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extra ordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore…
Before the song was over Draco was on the ground with a face as red as a half eaten tomato and a tourist coming home from vacation and not wearing sunscreen the entire trip.
"What's your problem!" malfoy screamed "what?" Crabbe said innocently. "Lets think hmmm… YOUR STUPID COLGNE MADE HARRY FALL IN LOVE WITH ME BECAUSE OF YOU I AM MENTALLY SCARRED, IM HUMILIATED BY THE ENTIRE SCHOOL, I STILL DON'T HAVE MY BABES AND NOW THAT PSYCO IS RUNNING AROUND THE SCHOOL SCREAMING WHERES MY SUGAR PIE STUD MUFFIN!"Said Malfoy so loud that all of slytherin could here. "Are you mad because I ate the last donut is that what this is about?" Crabbe smiled sympathetically. "What, no what? I want to know why the person I would love no more than to see him fall off a cliff have a boulder fall on his legs while little carpenter ants eat him little by little then have little children poke him with a stick for entertainment is in love with ME?" "Oh so that's what this is about well it was all a prank April FOOLS!" Crabbe said "but its January!"
At Dinner………..
"Hey Malfoy I have a candle lit dinner for us!" Harry was wearing a very lacey and frilly dress robe that he borrowed from Ron.
"No, go away!" Malfoy was in no mood
"I've got bacon!"
"Bacon?" drool "oh no my one weakness, no…. must….. Not… give… in," Malfoy thought.Malfoy was usually a vegetarian thatsnuck bacon when no one was looking."Ok you talked me into it now where is it!" Harry lead Malfoy to a corner of the room with deep red curtains around it.
Harry opened the curtains to show a table for two with two candles, also a replica of a moon that Harry had made, pumpkin juice and one heaping pile off bacon on one side and a small salad on the other. Right away Malfoy pounced on the table and started consuming as much bacon as he possibly could occasionally mumbling things like "Bacon goooooood!" or "bunchy, crunchy, munchy goodness!" Harry just starred at him and occasionally purred or put a rose in his mouth. "Malfoy i wanted to take our friendship up a notch so i...MADE BROWNIES!. Harry said enthusiasticallypulling out a fresh batch.(Marie: fooled yah didn't i? dont be shy admit it LOL)
"STOP IT RIGHT NOW MISTER!" Herminie screamed "Ron told me all about it!" "Ron how could you?" Harry cried. Ron was huddled in the corner rocking back and forth chanting "so….much…counseling…shiver".
"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT EXPLAIN YOURSELF!". Harry stepped forward clenching his fist "don't you back sass me girlfriendsnap
snap I have a lot of feelings and I cant help it that I'm in love WAHHHHHH!" "Well that's not something you see everyday" Herminie thought."I like cornflakes!" Malfoy said (random poor boy crawls in room) "so hungry… need…cornflakes!" "My cornflakes!" Malfoy said pouncing on the boy and foaming at the mouth. "Ahhhh he has RABIES!" Ron yelled!
Will Harry ever get Draco's love in return or will Draco find the cure to his problem? Will Dumbledore ever get to eat Draco? And will that poor boy ever get his cornflakes? Tune in next time for……"The Art of Switching Teams"
The moral of the story is don't hit old men named Orvillewith shovels and brown can be an ugly color.
-this is my first fan ficttion so please give me construcitive critism, or you could just compliment me on its awesomness LOL-